Originally Posted by
Eights
Almost started to feel bad for them at the end then remembered both girls are trash so double KO via toilet is fitting. More so after all that "I won't end up passed out in a dirty bathroom stall like these other *****" talk earlier in the story.
Felt like a nod to CCs Halloween fight story with so many fights going on in the restroom at once. Interesting take to imagine an opportunist waiting to strike when all parties involved are at their weakest.
Then there's the whole alpha female categorizing at the club. Makes a fun playground where a story could be between two tigresses playing out, or badgers.. wolverines, sharks, "cougars". I'm getting silly with it but there being archetype of alpha predator females grinding each other out for dominance/revenge/fun could set up some wild stuff. Your alchemist story with the clan rivalry kind a did the same thing with being able to pick another pair to fight for their clan that wasn't the alchemist.
Got a little tripped up right before the toilet scene on how they were positioned holding each other, also think one set of girls passed out in the stalls had there hair color change on the fly. Minor stuff drowned out by how hot and nasty the snakes where to the victims and each other. Wrote all that before getting to how hot the fight was. Almost thought they'd take it to another location to really get at each other. But the irony on them ending up exactly as they said they wouldn't was perfect.
Also regarding the red vs blue update. I get why you don't feel its finished even after what you added. Could read about those two making the other their personal sex toy that day or the whole week and wouldn't get bored. Old ending was stellar, the additional stuff was god damn good. The amount of detail on how bad they were getting at each other, wow!
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