Journeys to a Sexfight: Prologue and Chapter 1: Megan

[Canary-]

The story is very well written, I like how it starts with the ending, already setting up the final scenario of Megan and Kate vs. Holly and Kelsie.


Also the idea of each chapter to present how each woman joins this world of sexual fights, seems super original to me. Although if there is something wrong in my opinion, it is that you did not dare to do the character descriptions. I understand that you solved it by adding the information of the real models, but I don't think it's enough support.


It reminds me for example of Angeldawn who made 3D models of his characters, but still gave them details to give us a vision of them.

[YuriLesboLover]

Finally got the chance to read this. Great stuff! I’m totally on board. The raw hedonism ebbing from these girls is beautiful

[dnld0118]

Thank you Canary and Yuri for your comments!

Canary, I agree that the lack of descriptions is not ideal. Right now I am not confident enough in my writing to be able to do them adequately, but I hope to acquire those skills eventually.

[Giannis-CB]

Finally got the chance to read this. Great stuff! I’m totally on board. The raw hedonism ebbing from these girls is beautiful

Finally got the chance to read this. Great stuff! I’m totally on board. The raw hedonism ebbing from these girls is beautiful

I repeat : "The raw hedonism ebbing from these girls is beautiful"

You belong to the gifted minority of the people who use MUCH MORE than a few hundreds words to speak and to write !
That's why some of your stories, especially the latest ones are so well written.
I feel so "literary happy" when I meet this !!
That's why i am also a HUGE FAN of the stories of my friend A. Penman. He is professor at this !
He often writes - on purpose - in a "literary complicated" way and he drives me crazy ! LOL (I say this very positively)

Finally Yuri, some new writers like you, the fresh blood of this forum, they prove that literal erotic stories are stiill written !
I am not a native English speaker, my English are not that good to write that way.
Example : the word "raw", mostly the word "ebbing" were unknown to me. I learned them now, from you.
But I can discern a good writer who knows to use English. Either they are native English speakers or not.

Cudos to you !