I’m liking this more and more.
Hi!
I'm continuing to play around with the AI, perhaps getting a bit better hang of it, or perhaps not. This story is continuing the previous one, introducing Annabel's main rival. I hope you enjoy it, even though it's only partly my own text. But for me, this AI has been a tremendous help to actually getting some of my ideas out as more or less finished stories. I've tried my hand in writing many times, but I always hit a block when it's time to describe the action. That's where the AI can really help move the story along. Not as eloquently as, for example, JB, but for me this is enough at this moment.
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The air was hot and dry. Sun was blazing high up in the midday sky, casting a shimmering heat-haze over everything. The land was barren, dotted with only the occasional shard of rock poking from the dusty ground, and here and there the occasional small cactus, which appeared to be growing out of the rocks.
The highway continued straight as an arrow, with nothing, no remarkable features for as long as Jessica's eye could see. She enjoyed the empty vastness. It was refreshing contrast to being surrounded by crowds of people who, to be brutally honest, had nothing to offer. She hit the gas pedal, and the Mustang's big block V8 roared, pushing her back against the seat as the tires screeched and the car quickly accelerated. 70 miles per hour, 90, 110 miles per hour, Jessica felt exhilarated to feel the power of her car, to see the scenery fly past her, to feel the wind in her beautiful long hair.
Jessica was a thrill seeker, and she liked the sense of danger. She loved to push the limits of her car and herself, she loved the challenge of how far she could go, and how much she could take. But now she was looking for something else, something more. The rush she got from speeding down the highway at over 100 miles per hour was always good, but what she really craved was that one special thing that would make her toes curl with pleasure.
It had been too long since she had great sex. Far too long. Her last two lovers were idiots, they just couldn't satisfy her needs. Sure, they did their jobs adequately, but it wasn't quite there. They lacked that certain je ne sais quoi that would have turned them into true masters of sexual ecstasy. And anyway, regular sex just didn't provide the challenge that Jessica craved. There was something very special in sex with a challenge, or sex with a challenger. That was when you knew your partner was giving everything he or she had, and that pushed Jessica to match and exceed her partner. When she dominated her lover, made him or her beg for release, then she knew that she had achieved perfection.
A flash of movement caught Jessica's eye, up ahead on the right side of the road. A woman walking along the edge of the desert, not even wearing sandals! In this heat?! How stupid can you be? thought Jessica to herself.
She slowed down and pulled over to the side of the road. "I wonder if she needs help?" she said to herself.
As she came to a stop, the woman looked around, confused. She seemed lost, probably dehydrated and hot from the blazing sun. The woman saw her and walked towards her. She was tall, well-built, with large breasts and a cute face. She wore a skimpy black tank top and shorts which revealed shapely muscular thighs. Her skin was tanned and glowing from the sun, and her blonde hair was tied back in a ponytail.
"Hello," said Jessica as she climbed out of the car. "Are you OK?"
The woman stopped about three feet away from Jessica. She stood straight and confident, without an ounce of fear in her posture. She stared directly into Jessica's eyes. Her blue eyes pierced through Jessica's green ones like lasers. It was almost intimidating, but Jessica refused to be intimidated by someone so obviously weaker than herself.
"You must be thirsty," continued Jessica. "Come on, I'll give you a ride back to civilization."
"No thank you," replied the woman. Her voice was strong and steady, but somehow melodious at the same time.
Jessica smiled. "There's no way you're going to walk all the way to Vegas in this heat."
"I don't need your help," said the woman.
Jessica laughed. "Who are you trying to kid? You look exhausted. Let me help you."
"I told you, I don't need your help."
Jessica studied the woman carefully. She was gorgeous, sure, but there was something more. Something different. Jessica wanted to know what it was, she wanted to learn more about this mysterious woman. But most of all, she wanted to dominate her. She wanted to break her will, make her submit to her every whim. She wanted to prove that she was better than this woman in every way possible. And she would show her exactly how superior she was.
"Then maybe I should just leave you here," said Jessica. "After all, you clearly don't need any help."
The woman glared at Jessica with contempt. "If you do that, I promise you that you'll regret it."
"Really?" asked Jessica mockingly. "And how are you going to make me regret it?"
The woman shrugged. "Well, I guess we'll find out won't we?"
Jessica narrowed her eyes and took a step forward. "Is that a challenge?"
The woman stepped forward too, staring into Jessica's eyes with unwavering confidence. "Yes, it is."
Jessica held the woman's gaze. This was turning into a game now, and Jessica loved games. She loved the thrill of victory when she finally beat her opponent. She loved the satisfaction when she made the loser scream in orgasm.
But first things first. Jessica needed to teach this girl a lesson. She was arrogant and cocky, and she needed to be put in her place.
"What's your name?" asked Jessica.
"Toni," replied the woman.
"OK Toni, let's play a little game."
"What kind of game?" asked Toni suspiciously.
"We're going to see who can resist temptation longer."
"Resist temptation?" repeated Toni. "That doesn't sound very challenging to me."
"Oh really?" said Jessica. "So you think you can resist my temptations, do you?"
"Of course," replied Toni. "I mean, why wouldn't I be able to resist them?"
Jessica raised an eyebrow. "Let's test that theory shall we?"
She slowly started walking towards Toni. The blonde woman did not move away. Instead, she matched Jessica's steps, staying within arm's reach of her, until they were standing face to face, mere inches apart.
Jessica could smell the sweet scent of Toni's body. She smelled fresh, like wild flowers in bloom. Her breath was warm and pleasant against Jessica's face. She felt her nipples hardening beneath her thin blouse.
Jessica reached out and gently caressed the side of Toni's face. She ran her finger up along Toni's jaw line and up to her chin, then down across her lower lip. Toni closed her eyes as Jessica touched her, enjoying the sensations as Jessica's fingertip traced circles around her lips.
Jessica moved her hand downwards, sliding it down along Toni's neck, tracing the outline of her collarbone, down over her bare shoulders. Then she slid her hand around behind Toni's back, moving it down between her shoulder blades, then along her spine, feeling the bumps of her vertebrae under her soft skin.
As Jessica's fingers danced along Toni's spine, the woman shuddered slightly, letting out a faint gasp. Jessica smiled as she realized how much power she had over this woman already. She was intoxicated by her presence, by her touch, by her smell, by her taste. She wanted more, she wanted to know everything about this mysterious creature before her, she wanted to dominate her completely.
Jessica pressed herself against Toni, wrapping her arms around her back, pulling their bodies together. Their breasts squashed against each other, sending waves of pleasure through both of them. Jessica leaned in close and kissed Toni passionately on the mouth.
Her tongue probed inside Toni's mouth, licking and tasting every corner of her hot wet cavity. Jessica pulled Toni's hair free from its ponytail and let it fall loose around her shoulders. She tangled her fingers in the long golden locks and wrapped them around her hand, gripping onto them tightly.
Jessica broke off the kiss and bit down on Toni's lower lip, tugging it softly with her teeth. Toni gasped again, opening her eyes wide. Jessica grinned at her, knowing full well that she was having an effect on her.
"You're mine now," said Jessica. "And I'm going to fuck you senseless."
Toni gave Jessica a playful look. "You seem pretty sure of yourself."
"Trust me," replied Jessica. "When I get done with you, you'll be begging me to stop."
"I think you're wrong," said Toni. "I think I can resist you."
"We'll see about that," replied Jessica. "Now take off your top."
Toni remained silent for a moment. "Why should I?"
"Because if you don't, I'll rip it off you myself."
Toni paused for a second, then reached up and pulled her tank top over her head. It left her wearing only a pair of shorts. Her tits were perfect, two large round orbs topped with big light brown nipples. They were juicy and ripe, just waiting to be squeezed and fondled.
Jessica wasted no time in grabbing them. She took hold of the undersides of Toni's heavy breasts and lifted them up, exposing the puffy nipples to the sun. Toni sighed as Jessica began to massage her breasts.
Jessica rubbed her palms across the smooth silky skin of Toni's chest, savoring the way they felt in her hands. She flicked her thumbs across the nipples, making them even harder than they already were. Toni groaned quietly as Jessica continued to toy with her sensitive nipples.
Jessica lowered her head and took one of Toni's nipples into her mouth. She sucked on it gently, drawing it deeper into her mouth. Toni moaned loudly as Jessica teased her nipple with her tongue. Jessica switched to the other nipple, giving it equal attention. She kept playing with Toni's breasts, squeezing and rubbing them, twisting and pulling on the nipples, all while continuing to suck on the delicious buds.
After a few minutes, Jessica released Toni's nipples from her mouth. She looked down at the woman's body, taking in the sight of her naked upper torso. Her beautiful breasts jiggled gently as she breathed, swaying hypnotically back and forth. Jessica licked her lips hungrily as she stared at them.
"Take off your shorts," ordered Jessica.
Toni hesitated for a moment, then unbuttoned her shorts and slipped them down over her hips. She wore nothing beneath them, revealing her pussy to Jessica's hungry gaze. Jessica stepped forward and pushed Toni backwards until she fell onto the ground. She lay there on her back, legs splayed open, displaying her exposed pussy to Jessica's eyes, her clit clearly poking out from between her wet lips.
Jessica could not believe how turned on she was. Just being near this woman was enough to make her heart race and her pussy ache with desire. She needed to feel this woman's flesh against her own, to touch her, to taste her, to hear her scream in ecstasy. She needed to fuck Toni's clit to clit and dominate her completely.
Jessica reached out and ran her finger along Toni's slit. The woman shivered slightly at the touch of Jessica's fingertip against her delicate folds. Jessica slid her finger up further along Toni's pussy, running it along the length of her labia, feeling the heat of her arousal radiating through her skin. Then she brought her finger up to her mouth and tasted Toni's nectar. It was sweet and salty at the same time, almost intoxicating.
Jessica got down on her knees and hovered over Toni's pussy. She slid her hands underneath Toni's thighs and gripped them firmly, pushing them upwards so that Toni's pussy was tilted at a steep angle. Toni whimpered slightly as Jessica spread her legs wider apart, opening up her pussy to the air.
Jessica moved closer to Toni's pussy and sniffed deeply. The aroma of her arousal filled her senses, filling her mind with thoughts of what would soon be happening. She opened her mouth wide and pressed her face right up against Toni's cunt, letting her tongue flicker out and tease the entrance to her tunnel.
Toni squirmed as Jessica's tongue grazed across her sensitive inner lips. Jessica placed her hands on Toni's hips and pinned her down hard as she started licking up and down along Toni's slit, lapping up every drop of her juices.
She lapped at Toni's juices eagerly, like a starving animal eating its first meal in days. She closed her eyes and focused only on the pleasure of tasting Toni's pussy, enjoying the texture of her soft outer lips, the slight tanginess of her juices, the musky aroma of her arousal.
As Jessica continued to lick Toni's pussy, she became increasingly aware of the woman's reactions. She heard Toni gasp each time her tongue brushed against her big clit, she felt Toni shiver when she hit a particularly sensitive spot. And yet, despite these obvious signs of pleasure, Toni did not seem to be losing control. If anything, she seemed to be gaining strength, regaining some of the confidence that had previously been knocked out of her.
Jessica didn't care. She knew that if she kept teasing Toni's clit, eventually she would succumb to her urges and explode in orgasm. But she wasn't ready for that quite yet. She wanted to push Toni even further before she allowed her to have release.
Jessica stopped licking and sat back on her haunches. She looked down at Toni's body, admiring the beauty of her toned muscular physique. Her arms and legs were strong and well-defined, but without any excess fat or bulging muscles. Her stomach was flat and smooth, taut and rippling with abdominal muscles. Her chest was also perfectly proportioned, with two large perky breasts topped with erect nipples. Her whole body radiated pure energy and sexual force.
Jessica loved the way Toni's body looked. She could stare at it all day long and never get bored. Her gaze travelled downwards, past Toni's navel to her pubic region. Her pussy was as smooth as glass, glistening with moisture from Jessica's saliva. Her lips were full and plump, swollen with arousal, pouting open slightly as she waited to be touched again. Jessica couldn't help herself; she reached out and stroked Toni's pussy with her fingers, brushing lightly against her tender folds.
"Ohhh...ohh..." Toni groaned softly as Jessica caressed her pussy. "That feels so good."
"Good," said Jessica. "Now tell me you love it."
"I love it," replied Toni.
"Say it louder," commanded Jessica.
"I love it," repeated Toni.
"Louder!" ordered Jessica.
"I LOVE IT!" screamed Toni.
Jessica smiled in satisfaction. She leaned forward and once again took Toni's clit into her mouth. She sucked on it gently, drawing it deeper inside her mouth. As she teased Toni's clit with her tongue, she slipped two fingers deep inside her pussy.
Toni gasped loudly as Jessica began to pump her fingers in and out of her cunt. Jessica used her thumb to press down on Toni's clit, rubbing it up and down in small circles as she continued to suck on it.
Toni's breathing became quicker and shallower as Jessica fucked her pussy with her fingers. Jessica could feel Toni's pussy starting to contract around her fingers as she neared climax.
Suddenly Toni let out a long loud scream of pleasure. Jessica released Toni's clit from her mouth and held onto her hips tightly as she thrashed about uncontrollably, writhing in ecstasy beneath Jessica's touch.
Jessica watched as Toni came, staring in fascination at the changing expression on the woman's face as wave after wave of orgasmic pleasure washed over her. The sounds of her screams echoed across the empty desert landscape, sounding almost like a wild animal howling in agony.
Finally, Toni collapsed back against the ground, panting heavily as the last shudders of orgasm faded away. Jessica removed her fingers from Toni's pussy and licked them clean, savoring the taste of the woman's sweet juices.
Jessica climbed on top of Toni and straddled her body, holding herself up above the woman using her knees. She slid her wet fingers over Toni's lips, pressing them against her mouth. Toni obediently opened her mouth and sucked on Jessica's fingers, tasting her own juices.
Jessica slowly pulled her fingers out of Toni's mouth and rubbed them along the woman's chin and neck. Then she moved downwards, tracing the outline of Toni's collarbone with her fingertips. She cupped one of Toni's breasts in her hand and squeezed it firmly, massaging it roughly.
Toni moaned quietly as Jessica continued to tease her body. Jessica placed her palm flat against Toni's chest and pressed down hard, pushing Toni backwards onto the ground. She then shifted her position so that she was now kneeling between Toni's legs.
She positioned her left knee directly over Toni's pussy, while keeping her right leg still on the ground. She spread her legs wide apart, forcing Toni's legs even wider apart too. Now Toni was completely exposed to Jessica's eyes, lying there helplessly underneath her.
Jessica stared down at Toni's pussy. It was just begging to be fucked, but Jessica had other ideas. She wanted to show this woman exactly how much better she was at sex than she was, how much more skilled she was at controlling her.
Jessica gripped hold of Toni's thighs and pushed them back towards her torso. This forced Toni's pussy open even further, revealing every detail of its inner structure to Jessica's gaze. Jessica ran her finger up along Toni's slit, stroking it softly. Then she brought her finger up to her mouth and licked it clean.
"You taste so good," murmured Jessica. "But I think you know that already."
"Mmm...yeah..." Toni replied dreamily.
Jessica lowered her head and started licking Toni's pussy. She lapped at her outer lips hungrily, slurping up every drop of moisture that leaked out from her hole. She flicked her tongue rapidly across Toni's clit, enjoying the way it grew harder under her touch.
Then she plunged her tongue deep into Toni's tunnel, letting it curl upwards against the walls of her pussy. She kept her tongue stiff as she thrust it in and out of Toni's cunt, fucking her with her mouth.
As she tongue fucked Toni's pussy, Jessica reached down and played with the woman's nipples, squeezing them gently, flicking them with her fingertips. She pinched them lightly between her fingers, tugging on them ever so slightly.
Jessica increased the pace of her tongue-fucking, plunging in and out of Toni's pussy quickly, bringing her close to another climax. But before Toni could come, Jessica pulled her tongue out and sat up straight.
"Noooo!" screamed Toni in frustration. "Come back! I want to come again!"
Jessica laughed. "Oh really? You don't seem like the kind of girl who would enjoy being dominated."
"Well, maybe you should find out what I'm like!" retorted Toni angrily.
"Maybe I will," said Jessica. "I might make you my slave for the rest of the day."
Toni bit her lip nervously. "Is that a threat?"
Jessica narrowed her eyes. "Call it whatever you want."
Toni shook her head. "You won't win. I'm not going to let you beat me."
Jessica laughed loudly. "Are you challenging me?"
Toni took a deep breath. "Yes, I am."
"Very well then," replied Jessica. "Let's play our game."
She pushed her pelvis forward, forcing her huge clit against Toni's big clit. Both women groaned loudly as their pussies connected, rubbing together sensuously. They held each other tightly as they began to move against each other, sliding their pussies up and down along each other's bodies.
Jessica rocked her hips back and forth, grinding her clit against Toni's pussy. Toni did the same, rocking her hips in time with Jessica's movements. The two women humped against each other vigorously, both trying to gain an advantage over the other by making the other person submit first.
They stayed in this position for several minutes, moving their pussies up and down against each other, building up the tension within them. Finally, Toni broke away from Jessica's grasp and rolled over so that she was now on top of Jessica. She straddled Jessica's body and looked down at her face. Her expression was cold and serious, no trace of any emotion visible on her face.
"Now it's your turn," said Toni. "It's my turn to have some fun."
"So go ahead," replied Jessica. "Show me what you got."
Toni leaned forward and kissed Jessica hard on the mouth. Their tongues intertwined as they explored each others mouths. Then Toni pressed her big hard clit against Jessica's clit and started humping against her.
She moved her pussy up and down slowly, dragging it across Jessica's labia. Then she shifted her weight so that she was lying on top of Jessica, pressing her tits against Jessica's chest. She moved her hands underneath Jessica's ass and squeezed it hard as she continued to rock her hips back and forth.
Jessica wrapped her legs around Toni's back and held her close as they rubbed their pussies together. Toni nibbled on Jessica's earlobes as she ground her cunt against Jessica's. Then she slid one hand down between their bodies and started massaging Jessica's breasts.
Jessica moaned quietly as Toni caressed her sensitive nipples. She felt herself approaching orgasm already, but she didn't want to give in just yet. She knew that if she came before Toni, Toni would feel like she had won. And there was no way in hell that Jessica was going to let that happen.
Jessica lifted her head off the ground and sucked on Toni's nipple. She drew it deep into her mouth and licked it gently with her tongue. As she flicked her tongue against the hardened nub of flesh, Toni responded by pulling harder on Jessica's nipples.
Jessica licked all along Toni's large areola, swirling her tongue around it in circles. Then she brought her lips down onto Toni's nipple and sucked it hungrily into her mouth. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the sensation of Toni's soft warm breast filling her mouth. It was sweet and salty at the same time, almost intoxicating.
As Jessica sucked on Toni's nipple, she grabbed hold of the woman's ass cheeks and pulled them apart. She dug her fingers into the soft flesh, kneading it roughly as she continued to suck on Toni's nipple.
Toni groaned softly as Jessica teased her breasts. Her breathing became shallower as she neared climax. Her thrusting grew quicker, more vigorous, more demanding. Jessica could feel the heat emanating from Toni's pussy as she fucked her with her own cunt.
Jessica released Toni's nipple from her mouth and placed her hands on Toni's shoulders. She gripped them firmly as Toni continued to hump against her, driving her closer and closer to orgasm.
Then suddenly Toni stopped moving. She looked down at Jessica with a triumphant smile on her face.
"What's wrong?" asked Jessica. "Afraid you can't keep going?"
"I don't know," replied Toni. "Can you?"
Jessica narrowed her eyes. "Of course I can. But I don't think you have the strength to match me."
"Really?" said Toni. "We'll see about that."
She lowered her hips and pushed her clit against Jessica's clit. Jessica's eyes widened as she felt Toni's clit swelling bigger, almost matching her own huge clit.
Toni stared right into Jessica's eyes. "Let's play our game."
The two women started humping against each other again, rubbing their pussies together frantically. They moved their bodies up and down, sliding their pussies across each other's wetness, squeezing them tightly together.
Jessica kept her legs wrapped around Toni's back as they continued to fuck each other. She loved the way Toni's hot smooth skin felt against hers, the way their pussies rubbed together sensuously, the way their juices leaked out and mixed together.
They rocked their hips back and forth rapidly, increasing the speed of their thrusting. They breathed heavily as they tried to maintain their pace, feeling the pressure building up inside them.
Jessica couldn't stand it anymore. She had to come, she had to make this woman submit to her. She tightened her grip on Toni's ass and forced her body upwards, making Toni sit up straight on top of her. Now Jessica was able to push even harder against Toni, rocking her whole body back and forth, slamming her pussy against Toni's pussy.
They were both gasping for air now, unable to breathe properly. The only sounds in the desert were the cries of ecstasy echoing through the empty landscape. Their sweat-drenched bodies glided smoothly against each other, sending waves of pleasure shooting through their nerves.
Suddenly Toni cried out loudly and began to convulse violently. Her body trembled uncontrollably as her pussy exploded in orgasm. Her screams pierced the air as wave after wave of orgasmic pleasure coursed through her body.
Jessica watched in awe as Toni came, relishing every shudder and twitch of her body, drinking in the sight of her magnificent orgasm. Then she too succumbed to the powerful sensations within her, reaching the peak of her climax, savoring the sweet victory orgasm coursing through her body.
Her muscles spasmed wildly as she came. Her toes curled up involuntarily as she ground her pussy against Toni's pussy, prolonging her orgasm as much as possible. Her huge clit pressed against Toni's clit, forcing it to retreat into its protective hood.
Finally, Jessica's orgasm faded away. She lay there panting heavily on the ground, staring up at the cloudless blue sky above her. She felt totally relaxed, totally satisfied, totally happy.
"You win," said Toni quietly.
"Do you think this is over?" Jessica grinned as she got up to her car. "I'm only getting started."
Jessica bent over to grab something from her car. Then she turned around, and Toni saw a huge, shiny dildo in her hand. Jessica held it up proudly, showing off her new toy.
"What's that?" asked Toni.
"This is what I'm going to use to fuck your brains out," replied Jessica.
"Wait...you want me to let you fuck me with that?" asked Toni incredulously.
"Yes," replied Jessica. "I know it's big, but you'll get to enjoying it. Eventually."
A couple hours later, Toni laid prone in the passenger seat as Jessica sped along the highway, her red hair flowing wildly in the wind. She was feeling good. The day had turned out much better than she anticipated. Her dildo laid snugly between her huge round boobs. She dropped Toni off at the next gas station, filled up and continued driving, never once looking back. Her phone beeped as a message came in. She checked the message and smiled.
I’m liking this more and more.
Hi Barata,
This is excellent! The descriptions are absolutely great and the detail is fantastic- exactly the kind of thing that I love! I also love the scenario of Jessica picking up a random beauty at the side of the road and having her way with her. Their battle is really well described.
All of that being said, here are a few constructive criticisms. These are some issues that took me out of the story a bit and that you can watch for in the future. I've only read the story through once so forgive me if you've actually addressed some of this.
First, the initial contact between Jessica and Toni is puzzling. At first, it seems absolutely clear that Toni does not want Jessica's help. Presumably, this means that she has no intention of getting into Jessica's car. Then, suddenly, the dialogue changes to indicate that Jessica will leave Toni in the desert. Toni now seems opposed to this. It is evident that, somewhere along the way, Toni expressed a desire to be taken away by Jessica -but when did that happen? The sudden switch is jarring. You need more dialogue here to establish whatever the scenario is between the two women. Why does Toni go from rejecting Jessica's help to feeling that Jessica is threatening her by indicating she will leave her behind? Why does Jessica think this will work when Toni has clearly indicated she does not want Jessica's help?
A better description of the desert would be useful. I get that they are fighting on the side of the road, but a description of where they are in relation to the road, how the sand or the ground feels on thier bodies, things like that add context to the story.
At some point in the story, Jessica gets naked. This is never described - she is just naked. I assume she stripped at some point early in the encounter, after she ordered Toni to strip, but it is not clear when. In fact, for most of the story, I was envisioning her eating Toni while she was fully clothed. That was obviously not the case but when did she remove her clothing?
Finally, a better description of Jessica's body would be helpful. Not just what she is wearing but also how her body looks. Presumably, she is in the same class as Anabel, but it would be useful to make this explicit.
Again, however, this is an excellent story. The suspense is building nicely and the descriptions of the sexual encounter are first-rate.
One thing: as the story developed, I was waiting to see who would be the heroine of the story. It would have been a neat twist to find out that Toni is the woman who is about to match bodies with Anabel. As it is, I am intrigued by why Toni was walking barefoot and apparently with only the most basic clothing on the side of a highway in the middle of the desert and, initially at least, apparently rejected help. That entire situation is very puzzling and suggests other possible stories.
Great work! I'm really looking forward to the next part.
JB
JB57
Beautiful Story
A very hot story ! You are very good writing erotic scenes, in many details.
A weak point. Its is also mentioned by JB and he is right. When Jessica turned nude ?
But the whole story is very, very good !! AI helped you writing it, as you say, but you are a very good writer anyway !!
It has a good plot also.
Well done !! I hope to let us enjoy a next chapter soon !
Last edited by Giannis-CB; June 18th, 2023 at 09:21 AM.
Thank you for the feedback, I really appreciate it. And your criticism are definitely on point. The way of working with the AI "writer" is something I have to learn more. For one, it absolutely does not keep any kind of coherent "model" of what the characters are doing: one moment, they might be tangled together, the next instant one is standing and towering above the other. So, it's easy to miss the inconsistencies that the AI brings to the story, and a good reminder for me to double and triple check things.
About the dialogue, I really struggle with writing natural sounding conversations. Perhaps because English is not my first language, but then again I think I'm not great writing dialogue in my native language either. So, I easily rely too much on the AI there, and as evident here, it's not great at that either. The problem for is it to be able to tell if something is convincing and natural or not. Anyway, I will try to improve on that area, but it's not going to be easy.
The other points about description of the environment and Jessica's appearance and body are lacking, I agree wholeheartedly. I can only blame my laziness, or my eagerness to get the story out and not taking the time to properly do justice to Jessica's and Toni's encounter. Also, your point about why Toni was in the desert in the first place got me also thinking. There might be a story there, waiting to be discovered...
I actually did the encounter with Annabel and Jessica before this story, so now you've given me really valuable advice to go it trough and try to make sure it flows better. It's a lot longer than this, or the first story, so it takes some time to polish it. But I hope to get it out this week.
Originally Posted by JB57
Oh wow, this is interesting! I have exactly the same problems with writer’s block etc. you were writing about. AI could definitely be an answer for these kind of problems. Not a perfect solution but definitely an excellent tool to use.
I liked the first two parts so far. The way Annabel and Jessica dominated their new rivals was nice. Next we will see how strong they really are against each others. I will be following this project with joy, keep up the good work!
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