why must i consistantly have fucked up neighbors???

[SHATOUSHKA]

*** potentially long post ***


ok... so i haven't posted about my neighbors
in quite some time. in fact, its been so long
since i posted about my neighbors that i have
received NEW fucked up neighbors since the
last time i've posted about my fucked up
neighbors.


while there have been PLENTY of instances
in the past (with these new neighbors)
worthy of posting, i have refrained from
posting about them because... well...
just something about them intrigues me.


at any rate, i'm gonna post about them now...


my 'new' neighbors have lived next to me for
about, oh... 6 months... i know very little
about them other than these details i've
pieced together over the time:

welcome stuart and april (and yeah, its
going to be spelled 'stuart' and not
'stewart' because 'stewart' is gay)

they are both prolly in their young 20s
and from what i can tell, stuart has a job
at the hospital (either that or he likes
to wear hospital uniforms).

i do not believe april works... as i never
see her actually leaving the house (though
i have seen her coming IN to the house
on a few occasions).

anyways.... these people are just weird...

weird in a jeckle n' hyde kinda way...

to my face, they are so ultimately sweet
and considerate... seriously.... just really
nice and kind....

but the things i hear coming from the other
side of the walls... just really bother me.

its not that i TRY to listen (ok, sometimes
i do), its that well.... let's just say
that they must have some sort of fucked up
relationship. let me give an example....


about a month or so ago, i kept hearing
whimpering coming from the other side of
the wall... knowing they have a puppy, i had
assumed that the whimpering was coming
from it (more about the puppy later)...

eventually i had to go to the bathroom and
i went into the downstairs bathroom...
what a mistake!

evidently april had locked herself in the
adjacent bathroom and was crying up a storm.
not just whimpering, really over-dramatically
crying... on and on and on....

i could hear stuart on the other side of
their door, banging to be let in (the
bathroom)... sometimes he would speak
softly to her (as i couldn't understand a
damn thing he said), and sometimes he
would just scream out, "WHAT THE FUCK!"
or "GOD DAMN!" or some other thing like
that.

this went on for a while and yeah, i was
busy listening in as i wasn't sure if this
guy was beating the fuck out of her or
what and i felt it was my duty to find out.

then i heard noises that sounded like
a crashing.. moreso of metal... and then
i hear april shouting "AAAAAUUUGHHHH"
and more crying.

i guess she let stuart in at this time
because i then heard him say "OH MY GOD!!!"
and "NO NO NO"... and then in a softer
tone... "just let jesus into your heart"
(which caused me to raise an eyebrow).

then it seemed as if stuart left the bathroom
as he did ultimately go to his car and leave...
but april stayed in the bathroom...

by this time i just couldn't figure out
what the fuck was going on!!!!

stuart returns just about 5 minutes later
with some lady and i hear this lady talking
to april in the bathroom.

"I JUST CAN'T DO IT," april says, "I JUST
CAN'T.... *muffled voice* A BABY.... I DUNNO
WHAT TO DO...."

*cry cry*

"DO YOU THINK I'M BEAUTIFUL?!?!?!?!?!?!"

ok so by this time i was wondering if maybe
april got knocked up and was all acting
gay about it... really histerical and
psycho...

"YOU NEVER TELL ME I'M BEAUTIFUL," she
says... "YOU NEVER ASK ME TO WEAR BETTER
CLOTHES..." (i raise another eyebrow)

stuart interjects with the kind voice,
"if you want better clothes thats fine
but i like what you still have...."

"NO! THEY ARE UGLY! I'M UGLY!!! YOU DON'T
THINK I'M BEAUTIFUL ANYMOOOOOREEEEE!!! *sobs*

stuart goes off on a tirade... banging shit...
the walls, the doors... screaming profanity...

i dunno WHERE the lady went...


ok ok... so anyway... thats just one example
of how fucked these people are. i've decided
that they just have one of those extreme
relationships that no mere mortal can
survive.

LAST NIGHT..... (as it is with many nights
in the week)

i hear more banging... slamming... dishes...
doors... really really loud....
and then i hear april run out the front door
and she must have only taken maybe 5 steps
out and then she screams....

THEN..... she musta ran back through the
house because seconds later... she was out
the back door in the yard... and screamed...

then she went back inside and i heard more
banging and shit.

let me tell you something folks, the words
i am writing today does not do this justice.
i honestly do not feel that stuart is
beating this girl up.... oh... and here's
why....

just after the bathroom incident... a few
days later... more banging and yelling
was going on next door.... and i hear
stuart scream, "YOU ALWAYS JUST TREAT ME
LIKE SHIT!!!!!" to which he storms out of
the house, into his car, and is gone...
again for only just a short while.

on a whole, i figure april cries... A LOT.
and there sure is a lot of slamming....

i've come to the conclusion that maybe
april has some sort of mental/psychological
deficiency and has spells of depression
like i've never seen. i feel that stuart
tries his best to deal with it... but
eventually cracks when it just gets too
intense.

but yanno... i really don't know....
perhaps they just enjoy hurting each other...
to the point that they are convinced that
its love.....

its intriguing though... because she always
stays... and he always returns.... and
there are days... very very few days...
when i actually see them and know that its
a *good* day for them....

[SHATOUSHKA]

ok... about this puppy thing....

stuart and april had a dog when they came here.
her name is zoe and she is a jack russel mix...
just precious as can be... (though puppy-like
and obnoxious).

about 2-3 months ago, i noticed that they got
another dog... this time its a very small dachshund.
i'm talking teacup sized...

so... to make a long story short.... zoe is
now kept outside while this dachshund stays
inside all the time. basically, zoe has been
replaced....

i see april outside sometime letting the puppy
walk around and potty and stuff... then its
tucked under her arm and back inside.

zoe is only allowed in the house maybe once a
day... and only for about 15-20 minutes.

when i started to notice this happening, i got
very upset about it... as i was already very
attached to zoe. so i made it a point to go
outside and play with her... letting her chase
tennis balls and whatnot.

anyways... i just don't get what is going on
with my neighbors... i don't get the dog thing...
i don't get it all.

in fact, even RIGHT NOW... there is more
banging and thrashing going on next door....
i heard stuart yelling a bit, on and off,
and still more banging.

guess its not a good day today.... [img]frown.gif[/img]

[Trampis]

Its distracting to have neighbors like that.Everytime you hear a peep from them you jump up to see if THIS is going to be the time one of them goes nuts and spins out.

[KingBean]

Is this some sorta Rear Window shit you're into here shatzy?

[zelazny]

Damn.... that's some... sick puppies.

[1FINH]

ill trade ya one gay neighbor who struts around in his thong in his back yard for 2 screamin whackos [img]biggrin.gif[/img]

[zelazny]

Hmmm, nope. Worst things my neighbours do is make noise. By playing piano, playing drum or just fiddling with their stereo's.

[SHATOUSHKA]

Originally posted by 1FINH:
ill trade ya one gay neighbor who struts around in his thong in his back yard for 2 screamin whackos [img]biggrin.gif[/img]

<font size="4" face="Tempus Sans ITC, Tahoma">deal

[Babi BootifuL]

Let's hope he's one of the hot gay men that we wish were straight shatz!!!

[1FINH]

umm no such luck he is one of those limp wristed couldnt handle anything manly if he tried and wonders aroudn all day doing gardening and mowing his lawn with gloves, goggles, and a dust mask [img]confused.gif[/img] and when he is done he pulls out the little hedge trimmers and cuts all the stuff he missed. As for looking good.. ummmmmmmmmm well I would hate to be the judge for ya but think of mr rogers with blond hair

<font color="#5b5b5b" size="1">[ February 14, 2005 11:17 AM: Message edited by: 1FINH ]</font>