Can I have sex please?

**The 80's Man** · January 17th, 2003, 05:03 AM

I tried to go back to the **** strip mall tonight where that chick works- the one I made a solid connection with at the : "Lose Weight Forever" clinic. I was pumped and put on my cologne and badass gear I bought at the GAP, and drove out there, kinda fukkin nervous but I had my lines all planned out and was ready to go. See, I was there at the EXACT fukkin time a week ago when I talked to her. They had already locked the door but she was in there and saw me knocking at the door and smiled and jumped up and opened it. **** that was nice.
So tonight I timed it out and drove out there and **** it was closed!! Nobody was in there- lights were all out. WHAT DO I DO NOW??? I need to go when she's kind of alone so I can get my mack on.... **** . So I yelled "FFUUUUKKKK!!" I my car and grabbed my hair and did a u-turn as and some ***** coming out of Ben Franklin Crafts store looked at me with a ***** look. I furrowed my brow and glared at her like Mr. Burns at Homer at the end of the ski weekend episode. Dammit. I drove on, and determined to get SOME kind of closure tonight, I saw some young hottie tanned assfolds walking out of the tanning salon, which sprouted some wood from the General, and I rolled the windows down and flipped my shades up even though it was getting dark. "I Ran So Far Away" was on the radio with that killerass guitar **** at the beginning, and I cranked it up and nodded at the hot tanned ******* and drove slower that my grandfather on the fukking interstate and they looked at me like they wanted to cruise the streets with G-Money and hop on my pole at the rest stop. They were used to *******es their age driving around in that strip mall cranking up dumbass rap songs. GioPete gave them some originality. I got some closure there.
Still, I rode down the street kind of pissed yet resilient. Stopped at the G-Station and got some chips to eat and beer to calm my nerves and asked the old ******* with the hearing aid if I could buy the Britney Spears cardboard life-size cut out in the store. I told him my dad was a lawyer and that I'd pay whatever. Dude said it was taken for. Whatever. He's going to take it home after the promo ends and try to get an erection to it. **** him. I deserve that thing to prop up in my bachelor crib.
What should I fukkin DO about seeing this weight loss chick. She's my DESTINY, I tell ya. My fukkin destiny. I really like that girl [img]frown.gif[/img]
Regards,
G-Man

help?

Ritz *******s with tuna feesh