steps & stages 29-30 months

[CanadianGirl]

29 & 30 Months

Helping Children Cooperate

How can parents help their children grow to be cooperative and well-behaved? Dr. Diana Baumrind, research psychologist at the University of California Institute of Human Development, has studied this question.

Her studies show that children who are most cooperative have parents who: are warm and loving, have firm rules, communicate clearly, explaining the reasons for their rules, and demand reasonably mature behavior. Dr. Baumrind found that this kind of guidance was more effective than parenting that is too bossy and rigid, or too passive and weak.

Toddlers Learn in Lots Of Ways.

- Let me use a sprinkler can or squeeze bottle to water outdoor plants. Think of other ways I could help outside.
- Give me my own flashlight. I'll enjoy turning it on, because I can push the switch with my thumb. I probably can't pull it back. Show me how to turn the flashlight around, so I can push the switch off.
- Take pictures of special times, and write the date on the back of the pictures. Even if you don't have a baby book for me, I will like looking at these pictures now and when I'm older.
- Turn off the radio and television. Listen with me to sounds around the house, like running water, the refrigerator motor, a ticking clock, or a wind chime. Tell me what the sounds are. Helping me learn to listen will help me learn language.

Good Times At Meal Times

Meal time is not just time to eat. It can be a time to talk, share and enjoy being with others. Family members can tell each other what has been happening at school, work or home. Even though your toddler may not talk well, let him take part. Ask him questions, and let him answer for himself.

Meal time is not a good time to discuss family problems about money, misbehavior, and the like. No one feels like eating when there is an argument going on. If this happens often, your child will begin to dread meals. He will eat as quickly as possible, and then want to leave the table. He may begin to have stomach aches because meal time is unpleasant.

During meals, think of things to talk about that will help everyone feel good about themselves and others. Talk about problems after the meal is over. If you are eating alone with your child, you can talk about the names of the foods on his plate, and the color and shape of each food. You can count how many foods there are on his plate. With a little imagination and planning, you and your toddler can make every meal a happy time.

Sibling Rivalry

My 2 1/2-year-old daughter and 5-year-old son fight constantly. It's driving me crazy. Why are they fighting, and what can I do about it? Sibling rivalry can be a problem, especially when young children are less than 3 years apart. The older child may be fairly content with his new brother or sister until the baby begins to crawl and walk. As you know, when your toddler begins to get into things, you have to pay more attention to her. When this happens, her older brother may feel you love him less.

To make things worse, your daughter can break and take away her older brother's toys. Let your older child know you understand and sympathize with his feelings. Suggest ways he can cope with his little sister without hurting her, for example: "See, you have a book to look at, too. Here is your book, Annie."

There is a difference between angry feelings -- which are OK -- and hurtful actions -- which are not OK. Keep your children from hurting each other, or each other's things. It does no good to make your older child feel guilty for feeling angry. After all, his feelings are normal and understandable. Tell him you will not let him hurt his sister, or let his little sister hurt him.

Here are some other ideas that can help:
- Plan some special time each day for each child. Even 15 minutes of your undivided attention can help. All children need to be shown this special love and care.
- Show you understand what each child is feeling. Say things like: "It really makes you angry when your sister won't respect your things." Help each child see how his or her behavior affects the other one.
- Make life easier for your older child. Don't heap praise on his little sister when he is there. Ask your friends and relatives to follow this advice, too.
- Try to be realistic about what your older child can do. You might be tempted to ask more from him at this time. You might expect him to be more responsible, patient, unselfish and grown up than he can be at his age.
- Protect his special toys. If he has one or two special toys he doesn't want to share with little sister, suggest a place he can keep them where she cannot reach.

When your children are fighting, don't try to decide which one is to blame. Keep them apart for a little while. If they are fighting over a toy, take the toy away from both of them. Then help them find something else to do.

Choosing a Preschool

Many parents begin thinking about providing a preschool experience for their child, even if they don't need child care. Consider these questions in choosing a preschool:
- Are you invited to watch in the classroom? Spending an hour or two in a class will show you what the school has to offer.
- Are the teachers willing to answer your questions?
- Will you be welcome to visit and observe at any time? You and your child's teachers and caregivers need to work together as a team to help your child grow.
- Do teachers seem to enjoy and respect the children?
- Is there hugging and warmth between the teachers and the children?
- Are there enough adults to provide good supervision and attention? Children's relationships with caregivers are important.
- Do the children seem happily involved in activities?
- Is there a balance of quiet and active play?
- Is there a balance of indoor and outdoor play? Children need variety in their daily lives.
- Does indoor play include music, art, water, dress-up, housekeeping, science, block building, books and puzzles?
- Does it also include toys for imaginative play such as trucks, cars and dolls?
- Are the rooms clean, safe and attractive? Children need to have lots of different chances to learn.
- Is there a safe outdoor area with enough equipment, like ladders, barrels, low slides, riding toys and swings to encourage activity and muscle development?
- Is there protection from the sun?
- Do you approve of the food they serve?

You will not be happy about your child's preschool unless you feel that your child is in a safe, healthy, nurturing place. The extra time it takes to find the right kind of care for your child will pay off in your own peace of mind, and in your child's development.

Child care centers require immunizations. If you are considering starting your child in a child care center, her immunizations (shots) must be up-to-date. You will need an immunization record that lists the dates of each immunization your child has had. The law says that child care centers must make sure all children have their immunizations. This protects your child, as well as the other children at the center. The child care center staff must see your child's record, so they can complete official records for their files. Your child's doctor or tribal maternal-child specialist will explain what is required, and help you keep the necessary records. If you haven't followed the recommended schedule so far, your child's health care provider can help you "catch up" now.

Homemade Toys That Teach

- MODELING DOUGH
Modeling dough helps your toddler practice using his hands and fingers, and learn how to mold different shapes by patting, squeezing and rolling.

Ingredients
2 1/2 cups flour
1/2 cup salt
1 Tablespoon cream of tartar
3 Tablespoons cooking oil
Up to 2 cups boiling water
Food coloring
Makes 3 cups
(recipe can be doubled).

Making modeling dough
While water is coming to a boil, mix flour, salt and cream of tartar in a heat-safe bowl. Add oil to water. If you're only making one color, add the food coloring to the water as well. Otherwise, wait until the modeling dough has cooled to add colors. When the water-oil mixture comes to a boil, pour it into the dry ingredients and stir to mix well. Make sure your child is not underfoot when you do this. Cover the surface with plastic wrap, and let cool to room temperature. Knead to mix ingredients. For several colors, separate and knead in food coloring. Store in an airtight container, like a plastic bag. The modeling dough may keep for several weeks.

Playing
Put the modeling dough on a plastic placemat, and protect the floor from spills. Your toddler will enjoy having you near her when she plays with her modeling dough. You can give her ideas on how to squeeze, roll and pinch the dough. Add cookie cutters, a dull butter knife or small rolling pin to encourage your child's creativity. You might need to say: "This dough is for playing, not for eating." Store the modeling dough when children have runny noses. They can spread their illness to others too easily through shared dough.

- BREAD DOUGH CREATIONS
Your 2-year-old has learned to roll, pinch, poke and mash bits of modeling dough with you. So why not make some creative snacks together? Use this recipe for a dough that your child can mold, cook and eat.

Ingredients
2 cups flour
3 Tablespoons cooking oil
1/2 cup water
1/2 teaspoon salt

Making bread dough
Show your toddler how you both wash your hands before cooking. Measure the flour and salt into a large bowl. Add the oil, and rub it in until the mixture is like coarse oatmeal. Add the water, and blend with your fingers. Add more water if necessary to make a dough you can gather into a ball. Knead the dough for 10 minutes. Your toddler will enjoy punching and rolling the dough.

Playing
Divide the dough into small balls, and let your child create! Show her how to flatten it, cut holes with a table knife (help her with this so she doesn't cut herself), pinch up peaks, and stretch the dough. When she's all done, you can place her creations on a cookie sheet. Bake them in a 350? F oven for 10 minutes. Place on a rack to cool. When they're cool, enjoy showing off the creations, and eating them!

Games For Growing

- FOLLOW ME!
Encourage your child's imagination and physical development.

How to play
This is a follow-the-leader game to play indoors or outdoors. Show your toddler funny ways you can move, and encourage her to imitate, following after you. Run fast, walk slow, gallop like a horse, shuffle like an elephant, flap like a duck. Take turns leading. Use your imagination! And encourage her imagination, as you both think of more and more different and funny ways to play.

- WHAT'S IT FOR?
Help your child understand how things are used. This game also helps build your child's imagination and language skills. Materials Collect about 10 things that your child uses or has seen used, such as a shoe lace, a fork, a napkin, a comb, a key, eyeglasses, a spool of thread, a hammer, a paint brush, a pencil.

How to play
Pick up one item at a time and ask what it is used for. Give your child a turn to ask you what things are used for. You can play a silly version of this game, too, by asking a silly question about each thing you pick up. For example, pick up a cup, and ask if that is what you brush your teeth with.

- DRAWING AROUND THINGS
Let your child practice using small hand muscles, and help him understand more about the shapes of things.

Materials
Different-shaped objects -- plastic cup, block, triangle, and so on
Stiff paper or paper pad Pencil or crayon

How to play
Sit in a comfortable place, and give your child a plastic cup to draw around. First, have him trace the edge of the cup with his finger. Then give him a pencil or crayon to use for drawing around the cup. Talk about the circle he drew. Help him find some other things with simple shapes to trace. He can trace around his hand or foot, or yours. He'll enjoy this. You're helping him use his hands and make pictures of objects, so he'll learn more about the ways things are different.

Remember: Play this or any game only as long as it is fun for both of you.

Books On Child Guidance

- Kids Can Cooperate: A Practical Guide to Teaching Problem Solving by E. Crary (Seattle, Wash.: Parenting Press), 1984.
- Raising Good Children from Birth Through the Teenage Years by T. Lickoma (New York: Bantam Books), 1985.
- A Very Practical Guide to Discipline with Young Children by G. Mitchell (New York: Telshare Publishing), 1982.
- Your Child's Self-Esteem: A Step by Step Guide for Raising Productive, Happy Children by D. Briggs (New York: Doubleday), 1975. .

Change The Way You Say Things To Relieve Stress.

Sometimes, angry feelings and stress are caused by the way people talk to each other. You can reduce your stress by changing the way you say things. That doesn't mean you should hold things inside -- just that you might say them differently.

Things we say to others often have the word "you" in them. For example: "You're always telling me how to care for my child!" If you give the same message with "I" in it, the other person might not get so irritated. An "I" message does not accuse the other person. You could try saying: "I feel like a child myself when someone tells me what to do,"or "I am doing my best." Try turning "you" messages into "I" messages. This may make your conversations less stressful.

TV and Children
- Set guidelines now. We aren't sure of the effects of television viewing on very young children. However, research on older children suggests that:
- Children who are aggressive tend to watch a lot of violence on TV.
- Children are attracted to and influenced by television commercials. They may push parents to buy toys and food they see on TV. The foods may not be good for your child, since many advertised are high in sugar, fat and salt. Lots of television viewing may promote obesity and a lack of physical fitness.
- Children who watch a lot of TV use less imagination in their play and school activities than children who watch less.
- Very young children... Enjoy the catchy tunes and repeated phrases used in cartoons, children's shows and commercials. Don't understand the meaning of television programs. However, they may be developing a television habit that will keep them from doing other, healthier activities.

If your young child shows a great interest in television, then talking and listening may be important to him right now. Read to him, and talk with him about pictures in a book. Play some story tapes or records. Do these things in place of some of his television time.

Think about these questions when you decide how much television your child should watch:
- Do you know how many hours a day your child watches?
- Do you know which programs he watches, and what he's learning from them?
- Do you watch television with your child, and discuss what you are seeing? Doing this will help your child understand his world.
- Do you want your child to see violence on television? Violent situations are shown even in cartoons and music videos. They can be scary, and they teach your child to use violence.
- Does television keep you from reading, talking and playing with your child?
- Does it keep him from creative, active, or imaginative play?

Begin deciding now how much TV you want your child to see, and what programs you want him to watch. Try to limit TV viewing to 1 or 2 hours per day. Some families use a simple rule: "We never watch TV before noon." If you set some clear guidelines now, it will be easier to handle television later.

Guidance and Discipline

Avoid overusing "No!" The fewer times you say "no" to your toddler, the less she'll scream "no" back at you. Keep asking yourself: "How can I help my child do what I want her to do, without saying 'no'?" Life can be more pleasant for everyone with fewer "nos." Here are some ideas:
- Look for ways to set up routines and play spaces to reduce the need for "nos."
- Remove tempting dangers and breakables.
- Try to spend less time on activities that test your toddler's patience, or that might cause conflict. For example, long shopping trips seem to undo nearly all parents and their toddlers. Make these trips shorter, or find a way to shop alone.
- Tell and show your child what she should do, rather than saying "no." For example, say: "Pet the dog gently, like this." Instead of "Don't drag your coat," say: "Hold your coat over your shoulder like this."

Keep rules reasonable.

Your child is growing fast, but her ability to understand is still limited. She wants you to let her do things on her own -- and that's important for her learning. But she still may have accidents. She may break, drop or spill things. She can understand some rules, but not all. Give your toddler chances to practice independence. As part of their growing independence, toddlers can be defiant. You need to be firm but patient in enforcing rules. Look for safe and reasonable chances to let your toddler make her own decisions.

Play detective. If your child does something over and over that you have told her not to do, try to figure out why. Don't assume she's just trying to annoy you. Chances are, she's got her own very good reasons for doing what she's doing. See if you can help her get what she wants in a way that is OK with both of you. Sure, all this takes more time and patience and energy than saying "no." But in the long run, your child is likely to be happier and easier to live with.

[CanadianGirl]

What's it like to be 2 1/2 years old?

How I grow
- I can walk on my tiptoes now.
- I can run pretty well. But I can't start or stop very quickly.
- I can walk upstairs taking turns with my feet. But when I come downstairs alone, I usually put both feet on each step.
- I can stand on one foot for about 2 seconds.
- I can kick a ball pretty well.
- I'm really unpredictable, and have to be watched all the time.
- I like my clothes, especially my shoes.
- I like bedtime rituals, and I don't like it when you change them.

How I talk
- I am learning lots of words -- about 50 new words a month.
- I make some four- or five-word sentences, like "Get some for me."
- I enjoy rhyming words, and I'm interested in how words sound.
- I can tell you where things are -- like where the birds live, where the table is, where my bed is.
- I use "I" instead of my name when I refer to myself.
- I may be able to tell people my last name as well as my first name.
- I get angry or unhappy when adults don't understand my words.
- I may understand "cold," "tired," and "hungry." When I am 3 years old, I will understand almost all the words I'll ever use in ordinary speech. But I won't yet be able to say all these words.
- I like to have you tell me about when I was a baby.

What I am learning
- I'm good at matching shapes on a form board.
- I can match some colors.
- I love to learn, and I ask questions almost constantly.
- I can draw an X on paper, if you show me how.
- I'm learning about sequence, like "When Daddy comes home, then we eat," or "After I have a bath, I go to bed."

How I get along with others
- I like doing things for others -- sometimes.
- I may order others around, or threaten to hit them if they don't do what I say.
- I love to give orders.
- Once in a while, I can be kind and polite with other children.
- Most of the time, I don't like to share my toys with others.
- When I want something, I really want it. But sometimes, I can't decide what I want.
- I act angry when you don't let me do what I want to do, or when you interrupt my play.
- I'm beginning to learn about differences between boys and girls.
- I am very curious about sex organs, and like watching others in the bathroom or when they are undressing.

What I can do for myself
- I'm beginning to control my bladder and bowel movements during the day.
- I probably won't be able to control them at night until I am 3 or 4 years old.
- I can feed myself at least part of a meal without too much spilling. But when I get tired, I want help.
- Sometimes, I want to do everything for myself. And sometimes, I want you to do everything for me.
- I am starting to learn to button my clothes.
- By the time I'm 3 years old, I'll probably be able to pick out and put on my own clothes, if you give me a few choices.

Play I enjoy
- I like to hear stories read just as they are written. I don't like it when you skip parts.
- I like pretend play, like feeding my toy bear or "sweeping" the floor.
- I like to play with modeling dough. I can make long snakes.
- I like to make mud pies.
- I like to make block houses, and I like knocking them down.
- I like to march to music.

Child Care

Help your child get off to a good start. Leaving your toddler in a new child care or preschool may be hard for both of you. Your child will face new adults and children, new routines, and new limits. She is used to your comfort and help. She may be scared about being alone, and angry with you for leaving her. You may worry that the teachers won't care for your child the way you would, or that they may ignore or hurt her. You may worry that she will embarrass you by crying or misbehaving. These feelings are normal when beginning something new. Some planning may reduce them.

Prepare your child.

You have already taken the first step by carefully choosing child care that you think is right for your child. You have found child care workers you like and can begin to trust. Now, talk with your child about what is going to happen. She may not understand everything you say, but she certainly will pick up your feelings of confidence.

If possible, visit the program with your child before her first full day. Let her watch and explore, with your help and protection. Show her where the bathroom is and where she will hang her coat. Talk with the teacher about your child, before she begins the program. Tell the teacher about your child's eating and sleeping schedule, allergies, and other health concerns. You will want to talk about what upsets your child, and how she can be comforted.

The first day at preschool

On the day your child starts in the program, be sure you bring all the forms, clothes, equipment and food the teachers request. Bring one of your child's favorite things, such as a stuffed animal, a blanket or a toy. Arrive a few minutes early so you can talk with the caregiver, put away your child's things, and sit with your child to watch what is going on. When it's time to leave, with a calm face and hugs and kisses, say: "Good-bye. I'll be back this afternoon."

Of course your child may cry, scream, kick or retreat to a corner with her thumb in her mouth. She may like this place, but she wants you with her and needs to say so. Even though it is very hard, keep walking. Remember that you trust the teacher and trust your child. Children usually stop crying in a couple of minutes. It may help to call the teacher in an hour to learn how your child is doing. Pickup time When you pick up your child, greet her with warmth and words that show you know it was hard for her. Tell her that you are proud that she made it through the day. Don't be surprised if she is both glad to see you and mad that you left her.

After starting child care, some children change eating and sleeping patterns. Some children need more time curled up in their parents' laps, or sucking their thumbs. These behaviors will change as your child becomes more comfortable in the child care program. You can help most by trusting: the caregiver's ability to teach, care for and comfort your child. your child's ability to learn new and difficult skills. yourself, and the decisions you have made about the caregiver. Remember: You are helping your child learn how to adjust to changes that may be frightening. We all need to learn how to do this!

Sugar and Behavior

Does eating sugar make children hyperactive? Lots of people think so, but more than a dozen scientific studies show quite the opposite. If anything, eating sucrose -- sugar -- tends to have a calming effect on the nervous systems of both children and adults. The same is true for eating other foods high in carbohydrates, like a plate of noodles. G. Harvey Anderson, professor of nutritional science at the University of Toronto, Canada, reviewed this research and says "the overwhelming conclusion of the scientific evaluation is that sugar does not cause hyperactivity." Why, then, do children seem so "hyper" after Halloween or a big birthday party? It probably has nothing to do with the sugar, but a lot to do with the excitement of the day. So, should you let your child eat freely from the candy bag? Not often -- sugar contributes to tooth decay, and provides empty calories that can easily take the place of more nutritious foods. Besides, some sweet treats like chocolate and colas have caffeine in them, and caffeine is a stimulant.

Nutrition: Snacks With Appeal

Your child was born liking sweet things. That's why snacks like popsicles, cakes, cookies and candy are so appealing. They are all high in sugar and very sweet. But these snacks offer little in the way of good nutrition. They provide energy, but almost no vitamins, minerals or protein. They can also lead to dental problems. Many nutritious foods are naturally tasty, and will appeal to your child. Here are some suggestions:
- Fruit juice. Instead of fruit-flavored drinks, offer fruit juice. Full-strength fruit juice may taste too strong. When you use frozen fruit juice, add an extra can of water. If you buy bottled or canned fruit juice, add a cup of water to each quart of juice. This will give it a milder flavor, and stretch your food dollar.
- Fruit juice popsicles. Almost all children like fruit juice popsicles. Pour fruit juice into small paper cups, and stick plastic spoons in as handles. Cover with aluminum foil to hold the spoon handles in place. Then freeze until solid, and peel off the cups.
- Yogurt popsicles. If you have a blender, you can make yogurt popsicles. Drain liquid from a 16-ounce package of defrosted frozen fruit. Put the fruit in a saucepan. Add a tablespoon of unflavored gelatin. Heat slowly, stirring until the gelatin dissolves. Place this in a blender with 16 ounces of plain yogurt (2 cups). Blend together. Pour into paper cups. Insert plastic spoons as handles. Cover with foil to keep handles in place, and freeze.
- Snack-size pizza. Split an English muffin, and spread about 2 tablespoons of tomato sauce on each half. Sprinkle with grated cheese and some chopped green pepper. Put your mini-pizzas under the oven broiler or in a toaster oven until the cheese melts.
- Quesadillas. These are easy, popular snacks for children. Sprinkle cheese on half of a flour tortilla. Fold the other half over the cheese half. Heat in a frying pan or oven at low heat until the cheese melts. This also works well in a microwave. You can add shredded meat or refried beans with the cheese.
- "Ants on a log." Place peanut butter down the center of a celery stick. Put some raisin halves on top. It's ready to eat!Note: This snack is better for toddlers who have all their teeth, and can chew well.

Punishment Doesn't Teach

When children misbehave, we need to stop them, let them know what they have done wrong, and tell them why it is wrong. Most important, we need to teach them the right thing to do. When we punish children, we make them suffer, to "pay" for doing something wrong. Punishment usually does stop the unwanted behavior for a while -- but it can cause problems, too.

Punishment may cause children to fight back, or be more naughty. It may teach them that they can do what they want, as long as they are willing to "pay the price" of punishment. They could come to feel like "bad" children -- unloved and unlovable -- and give up trying to please you. Most important, punishment usually does not help children learn what they should do -- only what they should not do.

Punishment does not guide or teach. It does not build a sense of personal responsibility. A young child who has done something wrong may not know what he should have done. If your toddler throws a toy truck at his sister because she won't let him play with her ball, he needs to learn why he should not throw trucks. He also needs to learn how to manage without having the ball. This calls for guidance, not punishment. Of course you need to keep your toddler from throwing trucks. You also need to tell him in simple words why he should not throw the truck, and how he can play with other toys until it is his turn to play with the ball. He may need a "time-out" to cool his anger. If you are patient, he will learn to cooperate. Punishment alone cannot teach him this.

Toddlers Learn About Sounds & Weights

Help me learn about the sounds of things. Ask me to close my eyes. Ring a bell, shake a rattle, or jingle some coins, and let me guess what is making the sound. Let me hold heavy and light things. Use the words "heavy" and "light" when you tell me about them, so I can learn the difference. Ask me to pick up the heavy thing or the light thing, so I can practice what I have learned.

Try On Your Child's View Of The World

Sometimes, it's easier to understand and guide toddlers if we try to see the world as they do. Most of us don't remember what it was like to be a toddler, so we have to use our imaginations. Suppose Anita runs up to you happily to show you that she has learned to take the arms off her doll. Do you think first of the armless doll, or do you see the world through Anita's eyes? Can you share her happiness, and show her how proud you are of her new-found skill? Sam has just learned he can hit two pans together and make a beautiful, loud noise. Is your first thought to stop the terrible noise, or to show him your pleasure with his new discovery?

Anita and Sam love to learn. Encourage this learning now. Repairing the doll or quieting the banging can come later, as you help your child use this new skill in a more acceptable way. It's not always easy to set aside your own feelings to appreciate your toddler's achievements. But try it! You may find it makes life with your child more fun for both of you.

Checking Toddler Development

How do we know if our toddlers are learning what they need to become healthy and normal children? A developmental assessment checks toddlers as they learn to walk, feed themselves, listen to stories and understand them, say words, ask for toys, and follow directions. A developmental assessment compares your child with other children of similar ages and backgrounds. This helps find possible delays. Even though children's development normally varies, infants and toddlers tend to learn similar tasks at similar ages. Doctors or nurses do an initial developmental assessment as part of the child's checkup and health history. They will watch and talk to the toddler. Information from the parents is especially important. Parents know the child best, and are better able to comment on her growth and development. If the doctor finds a delay, ask for more testing by experts in child growth and development. If a toddler lags far behind, she may gain from special help.

Games For Growing

- DOESN'T BELONG
Help your child learn about alike and different, and increase his observation skills.

How to play
Draw four or five pictures or cut out four or five shapes that are all alike except one. Start with having your child match pictures or shapes that are very different, such as four pictures of trees and one picture of a house, or four red triangles and one white circle. Later, you can make the "different" pictures more like the others: for example, four dogs and a cat, or four small red triangles and one large red triangle. Ask your child to show you the one that is different from the others. Take turns. You can also play this with actual safe objects found around the house and yard, such as four bottle caps and a rock, four spoons and a fork, four red flowers and a white one.

- SURPRISE PATH
Encourage your child's physical development, and help her learn how to follow a path.

How to play
This game can be played indoors or out. When your child isn't looking, make a path marked out by chalk, a rope, garden hose or string. Be creative. Lay out the path so it goes around in circles, over rocks, upstairs, under boards and tables, through tunnels, and so on. Let your child follow the path alone, or you can take turns leading each other.

Getting Control Over Your Life

Sometimes, stress comes from feeling you have so many problems you can't even begin to solve them all. But if you handle one problem at a time, you may begin to feel you're in control of your life. Here are some problem-solving techniques you can work on alone, or with another person:
- Start by choosing one problem to work on.
- Pick a problem that you can identify exactly. Maybe it will be a problem that always happens at a certain time, or with a certain person. An example might be that you can't get from work to the preschool on time to pick up your child, and often must pay a late charge.
- Gather all the information you can about your problem.
- Think about all the possible ways you could solve the problem. For example, you could ask someone to help pick up your child in exchange for a service you can offer them. You could carpool with other families at the preschool, or ask a relative to help out.
- Pick the solution that is most possible and most comfortable to you. Maybe you can afford to pay a baby-sitter for just a few hours on days that are especially difficult. Or, maybe you could adjust your work schedule.
- Decide exactly what you're going to do.
- Think about the steps you must take to make the solution work.
- Write down the steps.
- Plan a time in the future when you can take another look at the problem and decide whether you've solved it.

Solving problems one at a time may seem slow. But each problem you solve makes your stress a little smaller. Each one solved helps you feel more in charge of your life.

[CanadianGirl]

Being Strict and Being Loving

Many parents are afraid to be strict with their children. They worry that if they are strict, their children will love them less, and will feel less loved by them. This is simply not true. Children need to learn that their rights are important -- but no more important than the rights of others. Your toddler needs to learn this now, or she may become the kind of child who actually is less lovable. Good discipline is fair, sensitive and consistent, and is guided by the parents' love and desire to help the child grow. With this kind of discipline, the child will feel loved and valued. She will easily understand limits you set for her own safety -- like not playing with knives. She can also come to understand and accept limits set to keep her from bothering others, or breaking things.

Discipline as Guidance

All parents want to discipline their children in ways that will help them want to be cooperative and responsible. How can we do this? Theresa and Frank Caplan of the Princeton Center for Infancy and Early Childhood remind us that many years of research help us know what techniques work best. "Especially reassuring," the Caplans say, "is the fact that the experts are in agreement in many important areas concerning the nurturing of good mental health and a sense of responsibility in children. They view discipline as guidance that corrects, molds, strengthens, or perfects. "Discipline is something you do for and with your child, not to him."

Why does my daughter stutter?

My little girl is 33 months old, and uses a lot of words now. But I've noticed that when she is tense, she stutters. What can I do about this? Like all toddlers her age, your daughter is learning language fast. She is learning about 10 to 15 new words each week. But she may not be learning words as fast as she wants to use them. Your daughter wants people to understand her. But sometimes, she just doesn't know all the words she needs. This can cause her to stutter -- especially when she is upset or excited, or when someone tries to rush her. The best thing you can do to help your daughter stop stuttering is to be patient and relaxed with her. Don't rush her speech, or criticize her stuttering. It is not easy to learn to talk. If she keeps stuttering in spite of your patience and help, talk about it with her doctor.

Games For Growing

- WHERE IS IT?
Help your child learn the words for positions like in, under, on top of, beside and behind. How to play Ask your child to move something to a different place. For example, using a ball and a basket, ask him to put the ball in the basket, or behind it, or under it, or on top of it. You can ask him to put his hat on his head, beside his head, under his foot, behind his back, and so forth. TAKE AWAY Help your child pay attention to detail and memory.

How to play
Put a few different things on the table or floor. Ask your child to close her eyes, while you take one thing away. Then, ask her to open her eyes and guess which one is missing. You can play the game at first using only two items. Later, to make the game harder, you may use more things. Let your child have a turn taking things away for you to guess which one is gone. Remember: Play this or any game only as long as it is fun for you and your child.

- MATCHING PAIRS
Help your child learn how things can be alike or different.

How to play
Collect pairs of things that are the same, like two spoons, two bars of soap, two plates, two toothbrushes. Mix the sets up. Hold up one thing, and ask your child to pick another just like it. You can take a turn at guessing, too. To make the game harder, use a set of pairs of pictures, numbers, letters, or playing cards -- things that are more alike than exactly the same. Ask your child to match the one you hold up. As always, take turns leading, and stop before your child loses interest in the game.

Nutrition: Some Toddlers Don't Get Enough Iron.

Iron is a nutrient often low in toddlers' diets. Iron is a very important nutrient for healthy red blood and for energy. You can make sure your toddler is getting enough iron by giving foods that are good sources of iron. Vitamin C helps the body use iron -- especially iron from plant foods. So serve iron-rich foods along with orange juice, tomatoes, or other foods high in vitamin C. Look over the list of foods below, and ask yourself: "Does my child eat at least two or three of these foods every day?" If he doesn't, he may not be getting enough iron.

Foods with lots of iron: Meats, such as beef, pork and chicken Fish

Foods with some iron: Beans, such as kidney beans, pinto beans, red beans, great northern beans, black-eyed peas, navy beans, small white beans and lima beans Lentils and split peas Dried fruit, such as raisins, apricots and prunes -- Cut these into small pieces to prevent choking. Enriched macaroni, noodles and rice Highly fortified breads and cereals Whole wheat breads and whole grain cereals Broccoli and other dark-green vegetables, such as collard greens

Read food labels. As an infant, your child probably ate iron-fortified baby cereal. Now, he probably eats adult cereal. To find out if a cereal is high in iron, look for the nutrition label on the side of the box, and see how much iron each serving of cereal has. The amount of iron will be listed as a percent of the total amount a person should eat each day -- Daily Value. Choose cereals that have at least 10 percent of the recommended Daily Value for iron. Take your child to a doctor, tribal maternal-child specialist or clinic for regular checkups, to see if he is getting all the iron he needs. Important: Unless your doctor recommends it, do not give your child a vitamin-with-iron supplement. Keep adult vitamins with iron out of reach -- they can cause life-threatening poisoning if eaten by young children.

Testing Eyesight

Eye testing should be a part of every child's regular checkup. A vision test checks each eye's ability to see sharply. When a child is under 3 years of age, the doctor checks to be sure your child can follow an object moving from about 12 to 15 inches from her face to a few inches from her nose. The eyes are tested one at a time, by covering one eye and watching the other eye follow the tester's finger. At 3 years old, most children can learn how to take a formal vision screening test. The most common test is called the Snellen test. It uses a wall chart headed with a large letter E. Some wall charts use pictures of things children know. The child covers one eye at a time, and tells which way the E points, or names what she can see. Some toddlers have a "lazy eye," or "wandering eye." This problem can cause permanent loss of sight in the lazy eye -- unless it is found and treated early.

Contact your pediatrician or ophthalmologist right away if you notice: your child's eyes do not look straight; one pupil (the black opening in the center of the eye) is a different color; or your child does not seem to notice objects. Parents don't always notice vision problems in children. Children don't know when their eyes are not working the way they should, so they don't tell you. Your child's ability to see is essential for learning. You can give your child a head start for preschool and kindergarten if you make sure her eyesight is normal.

Is Aggression Normal in Children?

Yes and no. As toddlers, children begin to defend themselves when another child tries to take their toy. This is normal, and a sign of positive growth. It is important for children to learn to stand up for themselves. Between 2 1/2 and 4 years of age, the children who are most often aggressive also tend to be the most friendly and helpful. These children know how to play well with other children, even though they may fight at times. By age 5, though, things change. The children who are most aggressive are the least socially skilled. They may become outcasts. Research shows that aggression and crime during adolescence and adulthood often follow aggression during the school years.

So what changes between ages 3 and 5? The competent children learn how to get what they want without fighting. They learn to use words to say "I'm mad" and "Don't do that!" They learn to share, take turns, and solve their own problems. The children who do not learn these skills depend more and more upon aggression to get what they want. Children learn these skills from parents and child care teachers. You can help your child learn ways of standing up for himself without being physically aggressive. Tell him: "Don't hit. Use words. Tell Derrick you don't like it when he takes your tricycle." Ask the children: "How can you share the tricycle?" Show them a way, if they need help: "Let's let Jason use the trike until the timer goes off, then it will be Derrick's turn." This is a key age to start teaching children how to get along, and to get what they want without hurting others.

Helping Your Child Reduce Stress

As your child grows, he will have more and more situations that cause stress. It is not too early to help him learn to recognize and manage stress. Show your child how to relax by sitting quietly and paying attention to his breathing. Most children like to use their imagination. Help your toddler think about something calm and pleasant when he is tense -- soft rain, a sleeping kitten, a quiet meadow. Help him picture a place he really likes -- a park, a beach, a fish pond -- and tell him to think about that place. Suggest he can go to that place in his imagination when he is upset. By teaching your child to relax, you'll be giving him a skill that will help him all his life. Try some of these ideas yourself -- they work for everybody!

Look At Me!

Your child is still developing her own ideas about who she is. Give her a chance to see and talk about herself with this activity. The only materials you'll need are a sheet of paper as big as your child, and a crayon or marker. Butcher paper works well, and you can probably get a big piece from any butcher shop. Or cut open several paper grocery bags, and tape them together. Lay the paper on the floor, and ask your child to lie down on it. Now, use a crayon or marker to draw all around her from head to toe. Draw in between fingers and around ears -- get as much detail as you can! When you're done with the outline, you and your child can color it in. Name the body parts and clothing as you color them. Let your child look in a mirror so she can draw her eyes, nose and mouth into the picture. Don't be afraid to be imaginative! Green hair is OK! When your child's picture is finished, hang it up where everyone can admire it. You can repeat this activity every few months -- or at each birthday -- so you can see changes and talk about them: "See how much bigger you are getting," or "Your hair is getting longer," or "You're wearing a dress here."

Problem Solving Starts Early.

One of the most valuable skills we can have as adults is the ability to solve problems. Through training and experience, we have learned what is best to do when there is trouble, how to avoid problems, or how to fix something that needs to be fixed. Some people go through life better able to solve problems than others. Very young children are learning how to solve problems. Whether they learn to solve problems well or not so well depends largely on the help they get as toddlers. Every day, toddlers face problems and have a chance to practice solving them. For example, what if Jimmy and Julia are building block houses, but neither has enough blocks to finish? Dad could tell them how to solve their problem. But it is better if he helps them learn to figure out how to solve the problem themselves. To do this, he can say what he sees: "I see two children who both want to finish their houses, but neither one has enough blocks." Then, he can ask them for ideas on how they might solve the problem. The children learn that he expects them to be able to solve problems. He is also giving them a chance to practice problem solving. At first, he might need to help them come up with ideas. Later, they'll be able to do more problem solving on their own.

Homemade Toys That Teach

- COSTUME BOX
This box of costume makings will help your toddler's imagination, creativity and pretend play.

Materials
Big cardboard box Cast-off clothing, hats, scarves, shawls, and so on

Playing
Your toddler will know what to do with this box of costumes -- he has lots of imagination! Help him play pretend by giving him ideas for people he can pretend to be. Suggest that he pretend to be characters you've read about in stories. He may ask you to guess who he is dressed up to be. Sometimes, he'll enjoy having you dress up and pretend with him.

Pretend Cooking

Toddlers love to pretend to do what they see adults doing. Make your child a pretend stove by drawing burners on the bottom of a large cardboard box. He will especially like to play cooking if you play with him. He'll take your orders for food, cook the food, hand it to you, and hope you enjoy eating it. An "almost-3-year-old" can help with real cooking, too. Let your child dump in the chocolate chips or flour when you bake cookies, or stir when you mix up pancake batter or scrambled eggs. He probably won't want to help for long. But cooking is a good way to learn how things look, smell and mix together. Remember: Always wash hands before and after cooking.

Good Books on Toddlers

- The Magic Years: Understanding and Handling the Problems of Early Childhood by Selma Fraiberg (New York: Scribner), 1984.
- "Depression: You Don't Have To Feel This Way," Health Notes from Your Family Doctor, 1994.
- The Early Childhood Years: The Two to Six Year Old (New York: Bantam Books) 1983.

A 3-year-old's Birthday Party

Your child's third birthday is coming up, and you may be thinking about a party. Your child is old enough to like having friends over. How fancy should a 3-year-old's party be? The basic rule for a young child's birthday party is keep it simple. Children at this age can become overexcited at their own parties. Some people suggest inviting the same number of children as your child's age. Other parents combine a toddler party with a family party. If you do that, ask adults to help out -- give them jobs to do, like helping with a glitter-and-glue art project! It's hard to watch toddlers when you are talking to other adults. Plan a theme party. Party planning is easier when you have a theme. Talk to your child, and let her help you pick a theme and plan the games.

Here are some theme ideas for a 3-year-old's party:
- The alphabet -- or first letter of your child's name
- Teddy bear picnic
- Circus
- Rainbows
- Candy land
- Wild animal park
- Dress up

Plan invitations and games to go with your theme
"Pin the nose on the teddy bear," or "How many triangles (or rainbows, or zebras) can you find?" Pick games everyone can win. You don't need to give prizes for 3-year-olds. Plan 1 to 1 1/2 hours of games, songs, stories, or easy art projects, plus one-half hour for cake and presents. Be sure all activities can be easily supervised. Keep food simple and child-friendly. Take turns having quiet activities and active games like a candy hunt, balloon chase, or beanbag toss. Important: Throw out any pieces of broken balloon right away. Balloons are a dangerous choking hazard. Plan a quiet activity like modeling dough or a guessing game just before serving the cake and ice cream. This way, the children aren't overexcited when they eat. Remember to take pictures!

Party Favours
Small children don't always understand that presents are for the birthday child. You may want to have a small, inexpensive party favor wrapped for each child to open, or give out treat bags when your child opens presents. Finally, some children are overwhelmed by the whole thing. Most children get a little overexcited at their birthday parties! Try to keep your sense of humor if your child bursts into tears or hides in the closet. Remember: The party is for your child. Try to help her have a fun celebration.

Magic Closet

The magic closet -- or magic box or basket -- can be a place full of happy surprises for your child. This is where toys quietly go to rest. You can rotate your child's toys through the magic closet. You can bring out one thing at a time when your child is sick, bored on a rainy day -- or when you and she need something very special to do. Children like to rediscover old toys. A few new toys can be kept in the magic closet, too. Surprises are fun for everyone. You will enjoy seeing your child playing with her magic closet discoveries.

Be Good To Yourself

If your blues go on and on... Feeling "down in the dumps" once in a while is normal, especially for parents of young children. Everyone has days when they have some of these feelings:
- Sad or empty
- Crying easily or for no reason at all
- No interest in things you used to enjoy
- Worthless or guilty
- Slowed down, or so restless you can't sit still
- Tired all the time
- Sometimes, we have trouble thinking or making everyday decisions.
- Sometimes, we have sleep problems.

Most of the time, these feelings pass in a few days, and we start feeling better. If these symptoms go on and on, they may be signs of depression. Depression is a medical illness that affects many people. It is not caused by personal weakness, or lack of willpower. It seems to run in some families more than others. While it usually goes away on its own, early treatment may help keep the depression from getting worse, and may also prevent the depression from coming back later. If you have been having these feelings or symptoms every day for two weeks or longer, be sure to tell your doctor. This illness is treatable. In the meantime, avoid alcohol or other drugs, which make matters worse. Try to exercise. Exercise not only takes your mind off things, but also seems to cause a chemical reaction in the body to lift your mood.

[CanadianGirl]

What is it like to be 3 years old?

How I grow
- I can throw a ball overhead, and I try to catch large balls.
- I can walk on tiptoes if you show me how.
- I can kick a ball forward, jump with both feet, and pedal a tricycle.

How I talk
- I use 3- to 5-word sentences.
- I ask short questions.
- I repeat simple rhymes.
- I use plurals, like dogs, and hats.
- I name at least 10 familiar objects, and know at least one color.
- I know my first and last names, and understand "I," "you," "he" and "she."

What I have learned
- I can pay attention for 3 minutes.
- I can remember what happened yesterday, and understand what "now," "soon," and "later" mean.
- I know some numbers, but not always in the right order.
- I substitute one object for another in pretend play, as in pretending a block is a car.
- I laugh at silly ideas, such as "milking" a dog.
- I know what food is, and what is not food. But be careful -- I may still try to eat dangerous things.
- I can look through a book alone.
- I can match circles with circles, and squares with squares.
- I can match objects that I know have the same function, like putting a cup and a plate together.

How I get along with others
- I enjoy being read to.
- I talk about feelings and mental states -- I remember things.
- I try to make others laugh.
- I will play with two to three children in a group.
- I give others roles when I pretend play -- "You be the mommy; I'll be the daddy."
- I still believe everything centers around me -- "If I cover my eyes, no one will see me."
- I act ashamed when I'm caught doing something wrong.

What I can do for myself
- I can feed myself pretty well, but I still spill.
- I can hold a small cup in one hand.
- I can wash and dry my hands by myself.
- I can dress and undress myself and use the toilet, but still need you to help a little.
- I avoid some dangers, like a hot stove or a moving car. But still watch me, and hold my hand when we're near traffic.

These are skills that most children can do by the time they turn three. If your child is having difficulty with some of these things, check with your child's doctor, your local health department, tribal maternal-child specialist or clinic. You are the most important observer of your child's development. If your child has special needs, early help is available. And that can make a big difference in your child's later success.

Teach Good Behavior Without Hurting.

Cooperative, well-behaved and responsible children get that way because their parents teach and guide them. In Parenting the Second and Third Years, we have shared the best ways we know to guide children. None of these ways uses physical punishment. We believe -- and studies show -- that spanking does not teach children well. It usually hurts and angers them more than it instructs. Punishment such as pinching, hitting or shaking can seriously hurt a child. This is abuse. And, of course, taking away food or care, or keeping a child tied up or locked in a room is abusive. But you can also hurt a child with words. Threats of physical or other feared punishment are abusive. It is abusive to threaten that scary things will happen to the child if she doesn't behave -- that the bogeyman will take her, or that loved ones will stop loving her, or leave her, or die. It is abusive to make a child believe she is unloved, unwanted, stupid, wicked, or hopeless.

Parents want to do what is best for their child. Some may hurt their child, thinking that this is the best way to help her learn. They may be copying what they learned from their own parents. Other parents may hurt a child because they lose control of their feelings. Some parents have such stressful and difficult lives that they do not have the will or patience to discipline their child without abuse. The tips on discipline in "steps & stages" are written to help parents learn to teach their children good behavior without abuse. Stress management suggestions are to help parents control their tensions so they do not take out their anger and frustration on a child.

There is a saying that "it takes a whole village to raise a child." There are probably many people in your life who care about your child. If you really need a break, try to find a way to take one by asking someone you trust to help you out. You can do the same for them, too. If you are afraid you might hurt your child, look up "Child Abuse Prevention" in the business section of your phone book. Call. Someone can help you, and you don't have to give your name. You are not alone. Wherever you are, there are probably other parents like you looking for a friendly face and someone to talk to. Start a play group with families in your neighborhood. Go to a parent support group. Talk to a mom in the park. [Visit the CPO discussion boards or chat room when you can't get out to talk to other parents.] If your child is giving you a tough time, it helps to talk to someone else who is going through the same thing. You may have advice that will help them, too. Three-year-olds are lively, curious and loving. They are also stubborn, trying, and naughty sometimes! We know you are trying hard to help your child become a good person.

Games For Growing

- SILLY QUESTIONS
Encourage your child's imagination and use of words.

How to play
Ask your child to imagine what would happen if something silly occurred. "What would happen if I put on my glasses upside down?" Or "What if candy bars grew on trees?" Or "What if people walked on their hands, instead of their feet?" Let your child make up some silly questions for you, too. Have fun guessing and acting out these silly questions. You might be pleased and surprised with your child's imagination.

- WHAT IS IT?
Help your child observe and understand the things in her world.

How to play
Sit in a familiar room with your child. Look around the room, and pick out something you can talk about in two ways: 1. What it looks like 2. What it does Say both, and ask your child to guess what you are thinking of. For example: "I can see something that is red, and rolls along the floor," or "I can see something that is white, and you drink from it," or "I see something that is tall, and you sit on it." Then ask: "What is it?" Let your child have a turn asking you to guess, too.

More Guidance Ideas

Have a few simple rules, explain them to your child, and stick to them. Examples: "Hitting hurts people." "Sand is for playing, not for throwing." "We only color on paper." Try to keep calm when disciplining your child. When your child raises her voice, lower yours.

Encourage your child's good behavior. Example: "I saw that you put your coat on the hook all by yourself!" Tell your child what to do -- "Pick up the book, please" -- rather than what not to do -- "Don't drop that book on the floor." Show your child how, if you need to.

Give your child reasonable, limited choices. Examples: "Do you want peanut butter or tuna fish for lunch?" "Should we go to the park first, or the library?" Prepare your child for new situations. Save "NO" for times when your child is in danger, or might hurt someone or break something. Childproof, childproof, childproof. It's easier to change the situation than your child's behavior.

Remember: Discipline is teaching. It's a way to show your child you care.

What Should I do About Bed-Wetting?

My son is almost 3 years old. He is dry during the day, but still wets the bed at night. This worries me. And besides, it's a real bother. What should I do about it? Your toddler is right on schedule. Most 3-year-olds are dry during the day. But they usually wet at night until they have passed their third birthday. Your child doesn't want to wet the bed. He is simply not yet able to hold his urine, wake up, and get to the toilet at night. It may be some time before he is able to stay dry most nights. In the meantime, do not scold or punish your child for bed-wetting. That could make him nervous and upset. Then, it may be even harder for him to stay dry at night. For now, using a diaper at night is still OK.

After your child turns three, you may want to try using training pants covered by waterproof pants. Use a plastic sheet under the regular sheet on the bed. And leave a light on, so he can find the bathroom. Many children wet at night until age 5, and some wet even longer. While this is inconvenient for parents, it is not normally a sign of a health problem. If wetting continues once your child nears kindergarten age, mention it to your child's doctor. The doctor might recommend some remedies that work for older children. Stay relaxed and understanding about nighttime wetting. Encourage successes, and calmly accept failures. In the long run, this will be the best way to help your child stay dry at night and feel successful.

Teach Your Child To Be Safe.

While you still need to be watchful, you can begin to help your child learn to look out for herself. Here's how:
- Practice stopping and looking both ways before crossing any street. Have her remind you what to do.
- Keep a bicycle helmet on her tricycle or bike. Make a rule that she must wear it on every ride.
- Teach your child to buckle the belt in her car safety seat. Don't start the car until everyone is buckled in.
- Explain about dangers in the house -- hot water faucets, the stove, fan blades, electricity, medicines, matches -- and why it is important to keep away from them.
- Help her learn to tell you where she is going to play. Teach her why it is important for you -- or another supervising adult -- always to know where she is.
- Teach your child never to go with anyone, unless the adult in charge of her says it's OK.

Talking To Children, and Talking With Children

The way parents talk to their child affects that child's development. Some parents almost always talk to children. Talking to a child includes using a lot of directions like: Dos -- "Let's take the dishes off the table now." Don'ts -- "Don't pull the cat's tail." Refusals -- "Not now." Talking to children also includes a lot of: Teaching -- "This cat is black." Asking questions -- "What shape is this block?" Talking to children is OK. However, studies show that when parents almost always talk to their child -- and not with the child -- this limits their child's language learning.

Parents talk with their child when they match their words to the child's questions and activities. This may mean talking about something your child brings up, or starting a new talk based on what your child seems to be interested in. For example: "Oh, yes! Look at that kitty jumping." In talking with the child, you show you care about your child's interest and needs, and that you want to learn more about them. As you talk with a child, each of you speaks and listens to the other. You take turns. You can start these talks with such comments as: "Tell me about your visit to Grandma," "You seem to be sleepy," or "What do you want to do with that box?" These are questions your child can answer, but you can't. Talking with children helps them gain confidence and feel important.

Are You Listening?

Are you really listening to your child? Sometimes, young children feel that instead of listening to them, their parents mostly interrupt, instruct, advise, or criticize. They are often right! This can lead to misunderstanding and anger. Children whose parents don't listen well can feel that they and their ideas are not very important.

Do you talk before you listen? If so, try active listening. Active listening is trying hard to hear and understand the other person without interrupting, jumping to conclusions, judging, preaching, or getting angry. It means showing respect for the other person and his or her ideas, even if you don't agree with them. It means waiting to talk until others have finished speaking. Listening is a vital part of the good communication you want to have with your child. It takes patience and practice to develop good listening skills. But try it! You may find your talks with your child both easier and less stressful. As an extra reward, your child may imitate your good example and start listening more to what you have to say.

Homemade Toys That Teach

- SOUND MATCH
Sound match is a fun learning game your child can play with you or with an older friend. Children learn to match sounds and tell one sound from another. It takes only simple, no-cost supplies, and it's very easy to make.

Materials
Six plastic 35 mm film containers -- You can get these free at stores that develop film, or save them yourself if you take lots of pictures. Wash well. Fillings to make three pairs of containers rattle the same
dry beans or peas, or small pebbles
rice and coffee grounds or sand.
Duct tape -- not transparent tape

Making the toy
Partly fill two film cans with something hard and rattly like beans. Be sure each container sounds like the other when you shake it. Then, partly fill two more film cans with grains of rice. Check to see that they sound the same. Partly fill the last two containers with coffee grounds or some other filler. Coffee grounds make a soft, swishy sound. When you shake the three kinds of containers, you will find that each pair sounds different from the other pairs. Tape the tops closed if you think your child will be playing with them alone.

Playing the game
Sit down with your child, and give him three of the film cans -- one with each kind of filling. You keep the other three. Take turns rattling one of the containers, having the other person find the matching sound in their own set. Another way to play this game is to put all six film containers between you. Pick them up one at a time, and shake them. Encourage your child to do the same. Together, pick up and shake, pick up and shake -- until you have a sound match for each. Point out that these are the same sounds. Point out when the sounds are different. Your child will want to see what is inside the containers making the noise. The two of you can think of other sound-making items to put into pairs of containers. You can work together in changing and enjoying this simple toy. Remember: Do not put anything in the containers that will hurt your child. If you think he will be playing with the containers alone, be sure to tape the tops on so that they cannot be removed.

- BIG BAG BLOCKS
Paper bag blocks can be used for tossing or hiding behind. They can make houses, mountains and castles. To make each block, crumple sheets of newspaper and stuff them into a paper bag. Large paper grocery bags make the best blocks. Keep stuffing until the bag is nearly full. Then, fold over the open end, and tape it shut securely. Make at least 10 big bag blocks -- the more the better! Important: Use only paper -- not plastic, which can suffocate a child.

Looking Ahead

Your child is 3 years old -- no longer a toddler. You may wonder what's ahead, and what you can do to help your child grow up healthy, happy and responsible. He is off to a good start already. During these first three years, you have helped your child feel important and successful. You have helped him learn about himself and his world. You have taught him to trust, respect and enjoy others. This foundation has prepared him to be the kind of person you want him to be. The good relationship you have will help you continue to support and guide him, as he grows to face future choices about school, friends, drugs, sex, and other important issues.

Building your child's self-esteem now will help him resist problems later on. Keeping communication open now will help him feel he can talk to you about difficult and confusing questions in the years to come. Helping your child like language and learning now will help him do well in school. Parenthood is a rich, exciting chance for you to grow with your child. Trust yourself. You can offer your child the support, values and skills to handle whatever comes along in the future.

[CanadianGirl]

Three Year Olds

Physical Development
- weight: 25-44 pounds
- height: 34-43 inches
- develops a taller, thinner, adult-like appearance
- develops a full set of baby teeth
- needs approximately 1,300 calories daily
- sleeps 10-12 hours at night
- sleeps through most nights without wetting the bed (occasional accidents are still quite common)
- uses the toilet with some help (many boys may not be ready for toilet learning until sometime during their third year)
- puts on shoes (but cannot tie laces)
- dresses self with some help (buttons, snaps, zippers)
- feeds self (with some spilling)
- tries to catch a large ball
- throws a ball overhead
- kicks a ball forward
- hops on one foot
- walks short distance on tiptoes
- climbs up and down a small slide by self
- pedals a tricycle
- walks on a line
- can stand, balance, and hop on one foot
- jumps over a 6" barrier
- can feed self with spoon and small fork; often butters bread with knife
- can use toilet independently
- can brush teeth, wash hands, get a drink
- interested in handling food and cooking procedures

Intellectual Development
- talks so that 75 to 80 percent of his speech is understandable
- talks in complete sentences of 3-5 words. "Mommy is drinking juice. There's a big dog."
- stumbles over words sometimes
- usually not a sign of stuttering
- enjoys repeating words and sounds
- listens attentively to short stories and books
- likes familiar stories told without any changes in words
- enjoys listening to stories and repeating simple rhymes
- able to tell simple stories from pictures or books
- enjoys singing and can carry a simple tune
- understands "now, soon, and later"
- asks who, what, where, and why questions
- stacks 5-7 blocks
- enjoys playing with clay or play dough (pounds, rolls, and squeezes it)
- can put together a 6-piece puzzle
- draws a circle and square
- recognizes common everyday sounds
- matches an object to a picture of that object
- identifies common colors such as red, blue, yellow, green
- can count 2-3 objects
- can solve problems if they are simple, concrete, real, and immediate, and if wants to
- interested in similarities and differences
- can distinguish, match, and name colors
- interested in features of animals that make them unique
- has good self-knowledge; can understand difference between self and younger children, but not between self and older children
- can say his age

Social and Emotional Development
- seeks attention and approval of adults
- sometimes shows preference for one parent (often the parent of the opposite sex)
- accepts suggestions and follows simple directions
- enjoys helping with simple household tasks
- can make simple choices between two things
- enjoys making others laugh and being silly
- enjoys playing alone but near other children
- spends a great deal of time watching and observing
- enjoys playing with other children briefly, but still does not cooperate or share well
- enjoys hearing stories about self - enjoys playing "house"
- enjoys imitating other children and adults
- answers whether he is a boy or a girl
- expresses interest in ethnic identities of self and others if exposed to a multicultural setting

Ideas For Caregivers
- Be patient with toileting. Many children (especially boys) will not be ready for toilet learning until after age 3. Accidents will happen for a while; treat accidents calmly and matter of factly. Avoid shaming a child.
- Encourage development of hand-eye coordination by providing large buttons or old beads to string on a shoe lace.
- Play ball - show children how to throw, catch, and kick balls of different sizes.
- Show children how to hop like a rabbit, tiptoe like a bird, waddle like a duck, slither like a snake, and run like a deer.
- Talk frequently with children; use short sentences, ask questions, and listen.
- Add new information to your children's sentences. "Yes that's a flower, it's a tall, red flower and it smells so good."
- Teach children to memorize first and last names.
- Provide books for children to read, and read the same books to them. Read poetry and nursery rhymes. Encourage a child to repeat a story and discuss the ideas and events. Read titles and point to important words on pages, packages, and street signs.
- Encourage interest in reading and writing by sharing a grocery list or note for parents. Provide paper, small notebooks, and markers for use in dramatic play.
- Count objects of interest; for example cookies, cups, napkins, or dolls. When possible, move one at a time as you and the children count. Measure, and have children help measure and count as you follow a recipe.
- Explain why and how things happen with the help of a reference book. Help them do simple science activities like magnetic attraction, freezing water, planting seeds, making a terrarium, and flying kites on a windy day.
- Provide sets - toys and other objects that go together. Discuss similarities and differences. For example, point out sequences in cooking. Let children experiment with faucets, tools, light switches, knobs, latches, and toys that come apart.
- Sing simple songs. Make simple rhythm instruments: oatmeal box or coffee can drums, rattles of dry beans in a box, etc. Encourage a variety of body movements and dance to music of many kinds. Play musical games such as "London Bridge," "Ring-around-the-Rosie," and "Farmer in the Dell."
- Encourage free expression in art projects. Avoid asking "what" children are drawing. Three-year-olds may not know or care, but simply enjoy the process of drawing.
- Get out your picture albums and scrapbooks. Talk about "When you were a baby."
- Draw a face on an old sock and show children how to "talk" with puppets.
- Talk about colors, numbers, and shapes in your everyday conversation. "We need ONE egg. That's a RED car. The butter is in this SQUARE box."
- Ask for help with very simple household tasks such as putting the napkins by each plate, putting socks in the drawer, watering plants, or stirring the muffin batter.