Sick, Really Really Sick!!!

[ellanoize]

An elderly couple living (separately)in a retirement community were keeping company together every evening with the same routine; the older gentleman would escort his ladyfriend to the porch, they would sit together on the swing and watch the sunset. While watching the sunset, the older fella would place the lady's hand on his crotch, and they would smile at each other in contentment.

But unexpectedly the old fella started courting a new female member of the community, following the same routine as before. When the slighted woman asked her former boyfriend, "Just what does that hussy have that I don't?", her former flame replied with one word: Palsy.

[ellanoize]

Q: What has 4 legs and one arm?
A: A Doberman in a playground
_______________________________

What do you call an annexic with a yeast infection?
A quarter pounder with cheese.
_______________________________

Q: Whats the diffrence between a french women and as basketball team?
A: The basketball team showers after 4 periods.

[cherrysis]

EWWWWWWWWWWW Those last 2 were so GROSS!!!
Oh you crack me up Rog!!! [img]graemlins/thumbs_up.gif[/img]

[Cherry_pez]

ooh that cheeseburger one was gross.

[cherrysmum]

What do you call a group of very sly, short, women track stars?

"A bunch of cunning runts" hehehehehehe

[ellanoize]

Bubba's old lady had been pregnant for some time, and now the time had come. He brought her to the doctor, and the doctor began to deliver the baby. She had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Bubba and said, "Hey, Bubba! You just had you a son!"

Bubba got excited by this, but just then the doctor spoke up and said, "Hold on, son! We ain't finished yet!" The doctor then delivered a little girl. He said, "Hey, Bubba! Hey, you got you a daughter!"

Bubba got kind of puzzled by this, and then the doctor says, "Hold on, we still ain't finished!" The doctor then delivered another boy and said, "Bubba, you just had another boy! But don't worry, 'cause that's it!"

So, Bubba and his wife went home with the three children. When they got home, they sat down and began talking. Bubba said, "Mama, you remember that night that we ran out of K-Y and we had to use that 3-in-1 Oil?"

She said, "Yeah, I do."

Bubba said, "Man, it's a good thing we didn't use no WD-40!

[ellanoize]

A guy is driving down a country road when he sees a sign, "Apples $5.00 each."

Intrigued to find out why an apple should cost that much, he stops and asks the farmer why the apples are so expensive.

The farmer says, "These are special peanut butter and jelly apples. Here, try one."

The man takes a bite and says, "Unbelievable; I taste the peanutbutter but not the jelly."

The farmer says, "Turn it around." He does and he savors a sweet jelly.

The farmer says, "I've got ham and cheese apples, too, but they're $10.00 each."

The man is excited, buys one, takes a bite and says, "Wow, these are great but I taste the ham but not the cheese."

The farmer says, "Turn it around."

He does, takes a bite and a rich, creamy cheese fills his mouth.

The farmer says, "Now, if ! you really like those, I've got some very special apples that cost $50.00 each. They're pussy apples."

The man cannot resist and buys one. He takes a bite and says, "YUCK, these taste like shit!"

The farmer says, "Turn it around."