Ich liebe dich

[CanadianGirl]

[img]biggrin.gif[/img]

[Noclouds]

Hmmmm, why do I get the feeling that something is bothering you girl? You know where to find me, when you need me.

[CanadianGirl]

botherin me? just my illness and doctors here where i live

[Noclouds]

*says a lil prayer for you*
I really, really hope that you'll feel good again one day soon. I hate to see you suffer,...

[CanadianGirl]

yanno? sometimes i get so frustrated and tired of fighting to live i just wanna give up and i know i cant cuz of my kids i gotta keep fighting no matter how sick i am...docs cant believe how sick i am and i can take of my kids...its hard believe me...i stopped taking my meds and i'm gonna fight this natural..they say yogurt (sp?) helps the intestine so i am going back on yogurt...i hate that crap so much but i am gonna force myself in eating it...argh i cant believe i got better then all of a sudden i went down hill again..ALL this worrying about everyone...YOU know what? i dont even worry about myself just everyone else

[Noclouds]

I hear ya girl. But you know, sometimes YOU must force yourself to focus on yourself in order to get well for your loved ones? Your children need you, that's a fact. And I know that your children do give you strength. Giving up is never a solution. And as hard as it may get, always remember that you have friends who love you dearly. Sometimes I wished that we were living closer to each other and mostly I wish that I could bring you here so you could see our doctors. I lost my trust in Canadian doctors when Ron was so sick, or better said he still is so sick and I couldn't see him improving in over a whole year. That's prolly the main reason why we broke up.
Yes, I heard about that yoghurt, too. Its supposed to help alot.

Keep your faith Tracy, things'll get better. You already been through so much troubles in your life and you kept your head high, no need to give up now!!!
I love you my friend!

[cherrysis]

Hey (((TRACY)))
Not to be too personal But what is ailing you?

[CanadianGirl]

I have bleeding ulseratic colitis..Its been with me for almost 7 years now...every day it seems its getting worse...the docs want me to have surgery but no way..I heard nothing, but horror stories about it i would rather have them try the other theorpy (sP?) they have...they keep telling me if i keep messing around with it i'm gonna kill myself...I tell em i know i faced that before death not once twice..this month it hasnt been easy for me it has taken total control over me...I wish i could take control over it then it over me *sigh*..I know pretty soon i'm gonna need another blood transfusion i have lost lotsa blood in the last couple of weeks....I have gotten weaker and i cant eat a thing..I have tried to eat, but all i can take is bites and thats not good enough...I cant wait until the 21st comes so my doc (family doc) can give me suggestions and if he even says surgery that is where him and I are gonna agrue he knows what i am going through cuz he son has it too..I just havent been through surgeries he has one went through tons and now that there is a needle out that is a 100% argh but there is one problem it cost 10 grand for it...my husband wants to take a loan out for it but we can do with our money for other things...I know my health is important cuz i have to be here for my kids and they need me especially at the ages they are at

[cherrysis]

Wow, You know I completely know what you are going through...here is the irony
my sisters name is Tracy and she has the EXACT SAME problem!!! unfortunately I do stay as close to her as I would like because she has allowed her illness to be an excuse to use far too many narcotics. You name it * * (insert any med) she has it and is a walking pharmacy !!!
I understand how debilitating it is and painful and draining not only on the body BUT THE MIND and spirit.
You do have to make sure you are around for your kids...Your hubby sounds like a wonderful guy AND I am sure he wants you around too!!! I wouldn't want surgery either. How you ever been tested for food allergy? Maybe Celiac disease??? IDK it makes me feel so helpless thinking about your situation and I barely know you...
Do you use anything like Boost? You know liquid nourishment? You gotta keep you strength up honey!!! I will say a prayer for you!!!!
((((Tracy)))) HUGS!!!

[Noclouds]

*sits next to cherrysis and says a prayer with her*