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Thread: Just smoke and ash - Jake Ives

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    Inactive Member rising smoke's Avatar
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    <center>cusack</center>


    <center>He was a never changing man in an ever changing world. A constant to the T, and somehow still managed to be unpredicatable when someone would least expect it. Like himself.</center>

    <font color="#FFCC00" size="1">[ April 25, 2005 05:27 PM: Message edited by: rising smoke ]</font>

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    Inactive Member rising smoke's Avatar
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    Many, many many years ago.


    "Wait. I don't think I understand."

    "Well boy if you want me to explain it to you again, I will. But let's start walking eh? It's going to get real crowded here soon enough."

    "Wait, is that-"

    "Yes, that's your body on the ground. Come on, let's keep walking. Nice place you had here." The elderly man tipped a look around the Hollywood Mansion, sliding a grin back to the black suit's way. "Come on now."

    He started to follow the man towards the french doors that led to the back patio, still staring in disbelief at the sight of his body outstretched against the marble floor at the base of the stairs. Staring so much, that he was startled as he moved straight through the french doors and sent his look of terror to the old man.

    "Okay, so what do I need to go over for you boy?"

    "What happened? Who are you? How did I just do that?" Jetting a thumb over his shoulder to the doors. "Where are we going?"

    "Well you know exactly what happened back there. And yes, it did happen. You are dead as a door nail my boy. My name's Edward. Pleased to meet you." His thumbs hooked around his suspenders as he nodded off to the arces behind the mansion, to indicate they should still keep walking. "Sorry I was late by the way. Pretty big place you got here, was easy to find just not easy to get to. So if you just try to block out that last memory you had before you fell stiff, it'll probably be best for ya. They don't like it when you leave a soul in when the body dies. The soul ends up experiencing the pain, but I'm sure if you block it out, you'll be fine." Nodding over that thought, though the man wasn't sure in the least. "But I'm sorry just the same. And yous can walk through most anything now, being dead and all. Oh I'm taking you to the office."

    "I'm dead." It was just hitting Jake as he cradled his forehead in his hands, starting to double over. "I'm really dead?" He wasn't moving, even if Edward was telling him to.

    "Yup. You're really dead."

    "Am I going to heaven?" And then he gluped. "Or hell?"

    "Well I don't rightly know, they don't give us that kind of information. You find your legs yet boy? Let's get a move on." Waving a dark hand at him as his southern twang rolled out. "I'll grab you by the collar of your fancy suit if you don't."

    "Well, what's the office?" Finally moving, though he had no idea why he was listening to a complete stranger.

    When Edward was satisfied with him moving, he continued on, explaining as they moved along the grass. "Well, you ain't going to heaven or hell just yet. We've got a job for you. You've heard of the Grim Reaper right?"

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    Inactive Member rising smoke's Avatar
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    "You remember your first job Jake?" the old man asked over a cup of coffee. Granted Jake was the one with the coffe and Edward was merely sitting there.

    "Can you ever forget your first Edward?" asking in return behind the smoke screen from his cigarette and steam of the coffee.

    "No I don't suppose you ever do," answering his question to a question with a gentle musing. "Or can." Chuckling at that. "Do you remember before," letting his sentence trail off into nothing, fully sure Jake followed the rest of his silent question.

    "When I least expect it." Short at to the point, easing into his mono tone voice he was mastering.

    "Ah, well I meant before that. Do you miss it?" Curious his tone before he tacked on, "I miss the fields. Even the way my back would ache at the end of the day."

    "You know, I really would have thought I'd miss the house. And the cars, and the parties and the girls and all of that, but you know what I really miss Edward?" Ashes scattered over the ashtray before he was rolling the filter between his index finger and thumb.

    Edward waited silently for the man who rarely opened up's answer.

    "I miss the heat. The burn that liquor gives you when it rolls down your throat and splashes around in your stomach. The heat off the freshly lit match or the warmth the stove gave off when you were cooking. It's like, I can see the sun, I can see a fire. But I can't feel it. You know what I mean?" Looking over to the old man and his grey eyes.

    They twinkled as he smiled. "Yes. I know."

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    Inactive Member rising smoke's Avatar
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    Jake was a pretty meticulous person. Everything was very particular, he did things a certain way and no way else. For decades now he crossed every T and dotted every I. It matched well with the stoic features and keeping yourself in the shadows, only coming out at that well timed moment. His existence was by a clock that didn't tick for him, but everyone else.

    And for the first time since he could remember, he didn't have a plan.

    But he did have Lantana sleeping in the bed beside him.

    So maybe he wasn't sleeping, but she'd fallen into a deep slumber that he couldn't even dream about. Right now life was chaos, and Fate was going to be more than just pissed off about his recent doings. Or to be more specific, non doings.

    There were certain backlashes one could get from one altered death, but two weeks of appointments? Just... missed? He'd listened to Edward's warnings and ignored them all.

    He was also starting to actually entertain the idea of changing someone else's appointment, just to move them along. Death could make his own decisions right? Who could really stop him?

    That night he'd have everything running through his head and slamming right up into a wall to stop the second Lantana shifted in her sleep. She asked him why he was still there after everything that had happened, but he'd never be able to explain why.

    But it probably had something to do with now he was finally starting to learn a few lessons.

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    I wasn't always like this.

    No really.

    When I was alive, I was a real popular guy in Hollywood. And that place was just getting started too in the 20s and 30s. Those were the days.

    Fourteen restaurants, clubs and bars I owed. Yeah, I was a real big shot and it all started with my first place, The Twisted Martini. Movie producers, Starlets, Actors, they all had to be seen at my joints. That's where the talk of the town hung out.

    I was the friendly face, the life of the party and the guy your Father would worry his little girl would fall in love with before he'd leave her on the curb.

    Just no one was ever let too close.

    I haven't explained all of this to Lantana, but she knows most of it.

    I've always really thrown myself into my work though. Which, well I'd like to think that was why I got picked and asked to do this.

    It's just...after this many decades doing what I do? Watching all these accidents, murders, suicides, and even having to put my hand in there to insure that it's going to happen, it really gets to you. I just didn't really see a reason to smile and be happy about anything. Or be anything about anything. Immune to all of it because all I am is Death.

    Till I met her.

    And now, I'm thinking I'm going to ask Fate for a few things. ..Just... next time I happen to see her.

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    Before they left on the vacation Jake had never had, he asked Lantana to picture it. Well, really she was picturing it already, but he added his own viewpoint on the idea that still baffled him.

    "Can you actually see me on the beach laying on a towel with a cigarette hanging in my mouth, a drink in one hand and yours in the other? In a swim suit, not a suit, with tattoos just everywhere?"

    The dreamy look on Lantana's face clued him in that, yes she could picture it.

    How in the world did I get to be so lucky?

    It was all Jake could think about on the flight over to their destination. Hawaii. Ridiculously cliche and Jake didn't care one tiny bit. Because it wasn't until he was on an island with Lantana that he realized it was perfectly fine for him to smile simply because he wanted to see hers flash right back at him.

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    <center>cusack</center>

    <center> If it was every day raining,
    If the sun never shone,
    I would not be complaining --
    Long as you came along.

    If it was only an ocean
    I would swim with the sea.
    Would you take to the notion?
    Would you rescue me?

    But how do you touch me from so far away?
    My pretensive sanity day after day,
    Lighten my load just to deal with reality,
    There's no way round.

    What if I told you I only live for the end?
    Think I'm dying, dying to know you.
    All over again.
    No way round, coming down.
    When we find ourselves so far from the ground.
    It's insane. It's okay
    When there's no way, no way round.

    Dying to know you.

    But how do you touch me from so far?
    Does every step pull me to where you are?
    Window of madness, I'll hold on somehow.
    There's no way--

    Under the cover of darkness, I can always pretend.
    But it's hard, hardest at night time.
    Coming down.
    When we've found ourselves so far from the ground.
    It's insane. It's okay.
    When there's no way, no way round.</center>

    <center>"No Way Round" by Brother</center>

    <font color="#FFCC00" size="1">[ May 15, 2005 11:13 PM: Message edited by: rising smoke ]</font>

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    "You know what you did, right Jake?"

    "Yes Edward. I know exactly what I did."

    "And she believed you?"

    Jake just opened the letter that had been left and dropped it on the table before picking up his cigarette from the ashtray there as well.

    "..oh." The older man fell silent and folded the letter back up into the already well worn creases the paper had formed.

    "I wouldn't have been able to protect her otherwise. This is the only way." Relenting as he returned the letter to a suit pocket. And smoothed a hand over his half tie.

    "They really don't like us getting too involved in certain things. After what you pulled last year, everyone was concerned that you were going to start striking up a deal. --What happened to your tie?" A nod and pointing across to the chain smoker as old twinkling grey eyes noticed it.

    Looking down to his tie, he flipped the frayed end upwards before answering. "A young woman cut it off a few hours ago. When she kissed him."

    "Just caught off your tie? Randomly?"

    "I provoked her, but not for the reason she thought I was. I thought maybe it would make me feel better. Like a strange sense of closure, but it still made me feel ill."

    "Give it time Jake. It's only been a week."

    "I know." He nodded and repeated himself, believing himself more the second time he said it. "I know. I'd still just like to know that she's happy."

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    "You know Jake, I don't think I've ever seen you quite like this before," Edward commented, very concerned.

    "You should have seen me last night. It was one complete cluster fuck, just one after another. I thought the night before was awful, but thankfully! Fear has to point out that it can get worse."

    "You think it was him?" Doubtful.

    "No." Jake just wanted someone to blame. He sighed and leaned back against the bench before checking the time on his pocket watch. "I just don't think I handled it well. I don't know how I should have handled it."

    "What happened anyway? You've been off a bit since even the night before. Start from the beginning." In a tone that said they both had time and he wouldn't let him move until he heard the tale.

    "I really don't want to get into everything that happened Saturday night, but to sum up that story short and sweet? I was there. She was there. A normal crowd was there. And she flipped out when she saw this one guy. Whipped out a pistol and tried to shoot him before he cracked her upside the head with his cane. And what could I do Edward? But sit there. Reva and Eden both ducked off the porch, but this guy Thomas and Jack they both stayed. I stayed in my fucking chair while two guys that I have never seen say but maybe a few words to her got into it to stop it all. It wasn't that I was frozen in fear, but that I couldn't get involved.

    I've seen one guy try to drain the life right out of her before, but he couldn't take the pressure of me watching that time. This? This was like I wasn't even on the porch. Maybe he knew I was there, maybe he didn't. Maybe he knew that I couldn't react and thought maybe the others would follow my lead and try to ignore it happening in front of everyone. Or maybe, and this is probably what happened, he didn't give a fuck. But I got so pissed off sitting there and eventually realized that I could go just under the radar. So when the gun was kicked my way, I couldn't help myself. I knew I couldn't shoot him, but I'd never wanted something so bad."

    "Jake, you didn't..." Edward's eyes were wide.

    "No, no I didn't. But I wanted to. I wanted to just walk right up to him and reach my hands into his chest and pull out his soul and watch his body just wobble down to the ground. I wanted to let them tear it apart while his soul kicked and screamed in my grasp. But I didn't. So I shot him instead."

    "Jake that's worse."

    "How is that worse? I didn't shoot to kill. I was just going to give him a reason to use that cane of his. Anyway, it didn't strike him. He's not human.

    But what was worse was the fact that she saw me shoot him. She passed out or fainted or something. So I opted to leave before she woke up and there was anymore of a scene. I was still pissed off and I just wanted to.... I just wanted to work. Even though I didn't have any appointments. I made it to the steps before she was screaming my name."

    "She wanted to know why you did it I'm sure."

    "Yeah. After the whole week, I know what I did only confused her. I was trying to be careful and not cross any lines, like I guess me asking where the club that she was singing at was? She still hasn't told me that, but I guess its best that I don't go anyway. That other guy will be there.

    But to tell the truth, I don't know why I did it either. Just that I was pissed off, I don't know that I've ever been that angry. I thought I was that time I was yelling at you at the tavern --"

    Edward chuckled and nodded, he remembered. "Perhaps you learned one of the lessons."

    "You really think so?" Jake hadn't even thought about that, but it would be the silver lining to his week of horror.

    "Could be, yeah." Another nod before requesting to hear more of the story. "Did you tell her why?"

    "No, I just announced that I was going bowling. Then she got catty and said that I was forgetting someone, Reva, on the porch. I guess bowling has become code for me."

    "Code?"

    "Well, when I said it, I wanted to go bowling to let my aggression out. I wanted to move on. But Lantana was thinking -- I guess she was thinking I wanted to move on and to someone else. But I just wanted to move on from how I was feeling right then. Maybe it isn't even to move on. But to step aside and away from it all. I just wanted to be away. So I was an ass and said that I had myself and that was pretty much all I needed. And went to the bowling alley."

    "It is for the best that you left then Jake. It sounds like you handled it the best way you could have."

    "She followed me Edward. Saw me kick over a trash can on my way to the bowling alley. I just ended up getting more pissed off because she was looking for answers. That I couldn't give. I just told her I didn't know, because I didn't right then. I couldn't think of anything but being pissed off. And then being pissed off that I did it. The fact that I didn't know didn't help. She didn't want to leave. Why didn't she want to leave Edward? I was pissed off. I didn't want to show that to anyone."

    "She's not ready to let go Jake," said quite simply.

    "Yeah. I know. I walked away. It wasn't easy, but I walked away. And went to a bowling alley where I --"

    "--threw a bowling ball through the wall." Finishing the statement for him.

    Jake almost chuckled, but it ended up just as a nod before pointing a finger back to Edward. "I didn't throw it. The ball slipped. But yeah." Some short story. Jake took a moment to check the time again before looking back up. "I'll tell the rest of the story later though. It's almost time."

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    Inactive Member rising smoke's Avatar
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    "I tried to deliver this Jake last night, but I could tell in the distance that --"

    "No, it's okay Edward. I know what probably happened anyway."

    "Do you want me to still try?"

    "No. You know, I think where I am right now, or where I am for the rest of the week is just what I needed after all of this."

    "Still won't tell me where you've been hiding?" Asked as Edward nodded to a nearby bus stop, to sit and wait out the time.

    "Edward, I don't think you'd even believe me if I told you." Sitting down beside the older man, keeping his own right shoulder against the man's left.

    "Well how about I settle with just finding out what happened on Sunday night that sent you to there." Deciding with a smile offered, ready to listen.

    "Well, after the night before I honestly didn't think it could get any worse. I thought that things were turning up and I could relax. I saw Eliza for the second time that day, but this wasn't just in passing. I've always liked things that were familiar, so I took seeing her as a good sign.

    She thrust something into my suit pocket and disappeared inside while I was at the window trying to get a drink. When I looked in my pocket, it was, or I should say, it looked like candy. I waited for my drink and when she stepped back outside onto the porch, I thought I was being polite by thanking her and eating a couple in front of her. To let her know that I appreciated the gesture. Eliza is bubbly and random sometimes, so I didn't think anything of it."

    Edward just raised a brow while he listened in silence.

    "Well, you remember that Eliza is a witch correct? And that when I gave in to Lantana I got that...ah...wine from her?" Jake was very uncomfortable discussing this at all, but at least this was Edward, who had definitely seen Jake at his very worst. When Edward nodded, Jake just continued. "I didn't think about it at the time, but that's what the candy tasted like. I figured it just wasn't going well with the beer I had. But that wasn't the case at all.

    This was much faster than I remember the wine being. It wasn't fifteen minutes and I realized what was going on. I had to have been red faced the entire night because of it. I know I felt warm, and that I've missed that --just the warmth mind you, but it wasn't even the same. It was tainted. I yelled at her on the porch."

    "Why did she give those to you?"

    "When I asked, she was all smiles, but her tone and words implied otherwise. Eliza was not happy about Lantana and I. The entire situation. And told me, and I'm doing my best to come up with the direct quote, but it was these words that sent me into the complete tailspin of the night, "Why don't you find that sweet girl Lantana or take your bowling partner Reva for a real ride." Something like that.

    But I was furious. She wanted revenge for Lantana I suppose by slipping me the aphrodisiac, but what the hell was I supposed to do? Even if I ate the rest of it and didn't care what happened, I could have ended up doing something horrible. Like I don't know, raped someone?"

    "Jake," trying to reassure the man, "I don't think you would have ever raped someone."

    "I just..." The black suit sighed. "If I had turned to Reva and grabbed her and that happened, I would have given into all the rumors. I don't understand why now I can't talk to anyone. And if I had gone to find Lantana? That would have only confused the situation more. It would have told her that everything was back on again. And I didn't want to go through the whole week beforehand, again.

    So I just froze on the porch and did my best to ignore the side effects. Reva didn't even believe me until I almost touched her face. But I backed away and then? This is perfect. Lantana showed up."

    Edward was starting to notice how things could progressively get worse.

    "I don't know how exactly it came out, but I realized the picture that had been painted in front of Lantana then. Here I was standing with Reva, talking about Eliza and pills. So I expected a full blow out right there on the porch then. Where I would have had to explain that Eliza was pissed off at me and probably only embarrassed me even more. But she didn't. She just left soon after that."

    "Well that's good isn't it? You didn't have to worry about that."

    "No. She left and called me from her place I think. She must have. She called me all the same."

    The look on Edward's face showed that he didn't understand how that was worse.

    "It was a very...heated conversation Edward. She was taunting me. Or that's what it felt like. It only made it all worse to hear all of that. I know I'm a stone faced ass hole, but I'm still male. And very aware that I was male during that conversation. But I couldn't tell why she was doing it. If she thought it would make everything better, if she was doing it for actual release or just to fuck with my head even further. I eventually became so flustered I dropped the phone into the snow and hoped that no one else could hear what was coming out of it."

    "Oh." Very quiet, and all he would say.

    "At the end, I heard her say something like If I mean anything to you, you'll see me tomorrow. One last chance Jake Ives. Something like that." He paused and noted how many cigarettes he'd gone through so far in the story. And the night wasn't even over yet.

    "That kind of frustrated me too. One last chance. I wanted time. For maybe one of the first moments since everything had changed for me and I became this, I wanted time. I'm not ready for chances. Everything was just so complicated and it never needed to be."

    "Sometimes these things have a way of making themselves seem that way." Reaching across himself to pat Jake's shoulder. "You will be all right. It sounds like you did the right thing."

    "What is it about the right thing being the hardest thing Edward?" Jake just shrugged and nodded for the pat. "After the phone incident, I just left it there. And thankfully, Desdenova and Reva didn't ask any questions. She did start to try and douse me with cold water, but even now, I don't think it really would have worked. And I ended up checking out a woman. But just one for the entire night." Almost proud. Almost.

    Edward just chuckled.

    "But she ended up trying to call me out on the entire porch. And she never realized once that I had that ..stuff, inside me. But I guess I'm not that surprised that a wolf was so bold. They're not exactly the most subtle of creatures. She was still gorgeous. Even with the violence put on display on her face." Jake paused, not really sure if that was the memory with the aphrodisiac talking or his own personal taste. Hard to say. "But in the end, it still caught me off guard when Lantana showed back up and saw her raking her teeth along my jaw."

    "Lantana came back?"

    "Yes, and Blythe was there now too. I don't know if they came together or not, but I remember talking to Vasha, that's the wolf, while those two were in the yard and not being subtle in what they were discussing. They kept shooting glares at me on the porch. And here's the kicker.

    They're upset because supposedly Reva and I were going on a date. All of this is about the bowling! I was being given these death glares because I'm moving on to Reva, because Reva shouldn't hurt Lantana like that by doing on a date with me or something. We're in the rumor mill of being together and while those two were gossiping? Reva and I weren't even talking. She was giggling with Desdenova.

    Not that I'm upset this didn't come up, because it would just be too much to take, but why wasn't Vasha given any of these glares? Reva and I have only been appearing as friends. And I know that I'm dense as a slab of concrete, but I don't see her as coming off any other way. I know that I'm not.

    It finally winded down into Blythe stalking up and grabbing me off the porch to talk out of the way. Where she questioned me, and honestly, it just all made me sick. None of this was anyone's business. But everyone wanted to make it into such. Its not even enough to consider business. I snapped at Blythe, but I at least explained it to her. I hoped she understood. And I told her that the both of them needed to apologize to Reva. I don't know exactly how that one went, but.." Jake just shrugged and sighed again.

    "Oh, I witnessed from a distance how the other one went." Admitting.

    "I heard as well. After Blythe headed off, I was just still furious, so I didn't want to return to the porch. I didn't even care that I was red faced anymore. Though by then, I don't know that it was that bad. Lantana though, was still there in the yard.

    And that's when the french exploded." Gesturing the explosion. It was massive.

    Edward just nodded, agreeing now that it was a long night for the chain smoker.

    "I just, don't understand what she was thinking. Why Reva had the finger pointed to and why not someone else? Any other woman. We just had a joke between friends. Between two people who both had weeks from hell, things dumped on us and were working slowly on moving past it all.

    That is what I like about Reva, and not like that, because I don't know her well enough. But because she's moving slow. Because at least she's smiling after what's happened. I wanted that for Lantana. For her to be happy. But I had to tell her that with everything just being blown out of proportion as it was, I wanted time, but now I wasn't so sure I even wanted to try to work things out eventually.

    She couldn't trust me with a friend and we weren't even together. She was suggesting that I of all people, moved on, just like that?" Snapping his fingers like it proved his point. "I was tired of being pissed off. I needed a break and I wasn't getting it coming around like I was. Being polite and no expressions. So when Hope found me drunk as I was, she sent me on my way." Bringing the story to an end.

    "Hope sent you there then? It must be a good place." Deciding with a smile creeping up on his tired features.

    "Yes," matter-of-factly. "Dare I say I'm happy where I am. And I never thought I would say that."

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