Just smoke and ash - Jake Ives

[rising smoke]

I'd only been gone a week, but maybe I was actually missed? I'd like to think that was the case. Or that the girls are aware of the best way for me to handle something is to just keep me busy. To keep barreling on through until I'm so exhausted of it all that I just pass out. And finally get some sleep. Sleep that isn't tainted with the memories of years past. I'd like to think that they're not really using me to just get what they want. But I'm getting out of order here. Time to just start at the beginning.

Either Sunday night or Monday night, since I was finally back, Reva and I went bowling. The suit she made me wear was.. Oh my god. It was awful, but hilarious at the same time. I didn't think that I was going to almost crack a real smile so soon, but I almost did a few times.

The suit was pink and sparkled, and there was a furry cape coat thing with tails. I looked like an idiot and there was an uproar of laughter as soon as I stepped out of the men's room. It's been a long time since I've felt like being part of some scene, or one that didn't even up badly. I enjoyed myself.

And I'd like to think that Reva did too. Even if she claims she was forced to go. It was just worth it knowing that I put a smile on someone's face who is going through something similar.

The next day, I'm pretty sure it was the next day, or soon afterwards, Reva was moving. It was really abrupt, but I haven't asked why. Mostly because it doesn't concern me. But I did somehow get volunteered to help her move. And then to build more closets. And paint the rooms. And change anything else Miss Pretty in Pink would like.

Moving her wasn't so bad though, even if she does have six trunks of just shoes. Rick and Paige though let me borrow a truck and a group of teenage boys to help out. It was strange, for a split second that afternoon, I almost thought that I was back at the school. I hadn't thought about Mr. Hershey in a long time I realized.

They were good kids, I wouldn't have expected anything less. And Reva just milled about telling us when we put something down in the wrong place, but at least she didn't have moments of complete indecision and change her mind a half a dozen times. It only took a couple trips, even with as much stuff as she had. I'm just glad I got out of having to help unpack.

I finally caught up with Reggie this week too. And changed her security camera tapes. She hadn't changed them since I first installed them a couple years ago. I swear that woman

She buried herself in work. And I guess I can't really blame her because the club can keep a person pretty busy. And I've been known from time to time to just dive into work and barely make an appearance. But work has a way about doing that. And I know she thinks that if she keeps herself so busy like that, then she won't think about what she's been through.

Maybe I'm a hypocrite in thinking that she shouldn't just bury herself back into work, and Eliza shouldn't either, but I haven't gotten to her yet. But Reggie, at least I think, is ready to let go now. Or needs to, so she'll realize that she's capable of being happy and not alone and just working. She's planning a Saint Patrick's day party, so maybe that'll help a bit. To get back into the swing of things.

I promised to make Blythe pancakes, and though she called while I was at the club with Reggie and trying to change the tapes, we finally caught up the next day. I honestly don't know how that girl does it. I think I'd have a hard time living in a home that was my ex's. Though, maybe for women it's not as much of an issue. I know that my house wasn't empty after I left and she stay-- anyways.

Lantana called later and she was in the hospital. Just for observations, and I didn't ask too many questions. But she wanted me to bring her a hamburger because the food wasn't appealing. Is it strange that even with everything we've gone through, the efforts taken to not think about what happened, that I would still at the drop of a hat do something if she asked me to? I just dropped what I was doing and did it.

And then to close off the week, Eliza and I played street hockey. I hadn't even played ice hockey since I was a kid. And it just had me thinking about Hershey all over again. I still can't tell if I miss that place or if I was just so set out to make Mr. Hershey proud.

Eliza's team won, we joined in a game at the park. She's still just as fluttery like a bird as always. But it's hard to say if she's happy or just starting to give up and not bother with it. And instead just have flashes of smiles.

I don't know. Just when you think you know a woman, she goes up and changes. I'm not meaning Eliza specifically, maybe all of them. And maybe it's not changing. Maybe it's growing.

At least they're nice enough to let me loom around and keep me busy.

[rising smoke]

"Jake?"

"..."

"Jake? Boy, raise your head before you fall straight into the back of your hammer." Edward warned him, trying to pull the chain smoker's head back, but to no avail.

"Huh? Wha --Oh Edward, I'm fine." Widening his eyes a moment and raising his head before it lolled loosely on his neck, eying the hammer in his hand. Pausing longer than he needed to, because he couldn't remember what he was doing.

"Maybe I should help you home Jake. You're pretty tired. I ain't never had to go up onto the porch before and help you sit up straight. You're lucky no one commented on seeing me. When was the last time you slept?" Already knowing the answer, but Edward asked it anyways.

"Uh, a while. No, I'm going to finish this closet today. Just, let me sit down a moment and regroup." Setting the hammer aside on his tool box, he sat down abruptly in the pantry. "Okay, so I just needed to....." Trailing off into incoherent murmurs, Jake's head leaned against a wall with his shoulder and back propped up against another one. Eyes closed and perfectly still, Edward looked over him and shook his head.

Unseen, Edward moved a few tools out of the way, anticipating things to upscale into something highly unwanted. Particularly since it wasn't Jake's apartment. If the black suit moved, he would be there to insure that he stayed put. He could only hope that Jake would sleep, and wake up being refreshed. Not worse.

<center>*****</center>

The pooling blackness might have been comforting, it if wasn't matched with the blood curdling screams of a long forgotten and mostly unknown Hollywood actress. He knew that scream, and soon was staring at the white blond in a slinky satin night gown draping herself over a body stretched out on a marble floor. Her sobs were like nails screeching on a blackboard and he went by unnoticed, and up the stairs.

The walls were dotted with bloody hand prints and fingers scraped against the paint, all going down the stairs. He was careful to not step in any blood or glass along the steps before he realized, he wasn't walking at all.

Looking around, he was no longer on the stairs, but in a study. Cast with dark lights and a roaring fire in the fire place. Warm. He felt so warm, it very nearly made him smile. Until he realized the exact moment that it was, matched with a clock striking the time.

"No --"

<center>*****</center>

Edward frowned when the black suit started to move, watched when Jake tried to blindly scramble up, and did something he hoped the chain smoker would forgive him for. He didn't wake him up. And kept him still.

Hours later Jake woke up in a cold sweat, looked around and even Edward wasn't there.