history of the problematic

[munchausenbyproxy]

"Begin recording: Now, stay put and stop trying to leave before we're through here, otherwise you'll be spending the night. Understood?"

"Screw. You."

"Yes, well, while the thought has entered my mind, I'm sorry to say that I'd go to jail for a very long time were that to actually happen."

"You'd never make it to jail, Doctor Conolly."

Pause.

"Is that a threat, Brenna?"

"You're brilliant."

"You don't have it in you to harm someone."

"Ain't comin' from me, asshole."

"If not you, who then?"

"The singer and the giant."

Silence.

"The singer being Camilla, and the giant being who exactly?"

"You ever seen Cam when she's angry, Doctor Conolly? Real angry, I mean."

"....Can't say that I have, Brenna."

"I have. And the other one doesn't break."

"Doesn't..break. Oh..that's rich. You're a funny girl. So he can take a beating, is that how I'm to understand this?"

"He can take a beating or a bullet. He can handle a fall and get up and walk away."

"And can he leap over tall buildings in a single bound?"

Chuckle.

"He can get into buildings without being heard. He can snap a neck with one hand while the other is removing internal organs at the same time."

"So he enjoys a good torture? Interesting."

"No, that's the Drow."

"The Drow? Brenna, I fear I'm losing you to your mind which is filled with thoughts of fantasy and make pretend."

"The Drow likes sharp things. He likes to watch your face while he's cutting and explaining exactly what you're going to feel during the next six minutes you're allowed to live, as details are very important to him."

"That's all quite morbid."

"It's all quite true."

"It's bullshit."

"C'mon Doctor Conolly. Come have a touch and let's both see what happens next."

"You're setting me up."

"Keep your monkeys away from me and mine."

"Don't threaten me, girl. With one word I can have you locked up for the next ten years in a place that's not so cozy or inviting."

Pause.

"Brenna, sit the hell down. Now."

"That ain't half of what I can do with my one word."

"Brenna, get back in here and sit down! I mean it! End recording:......Goddamnit! Matthew, get a couple of the others and tail her. And for the love of Christ, do it right this time."

<center>* * * * *</center>

[notes: subject is experiencing delusional and psychotic thoughts of grandeur and believes herself to contain a higher source of power by means of fabricated others. It is my professional opinion that she not be allowed to remain emancipated as she may be prove to be a significant threat to the general populace. A multitude of interviews have been conducted and the information accumulated has been thoroughly analyzed; while it is my belief that there is enough evidence for such a charge, I recognize the state's request to complete the necessary procedures before a final verdict is decided upon.]

[munchausenbyproxy]

Vivian: Mommy Dearest


"Brenna, eat all of your dinner tonight." The tray was set on the bed just over her lap, as usual, and the smell from the juice radiated and assaulted her nostrils immediately. Her mother told her it was laced with medication to help ease the cramping in her stomach, so why did it always hurt more after she drank the juice?

"Come now. Eat. Don't you want to grow into a beautiful young lady? Things will change, Brenna, I promise. You won't always look like you do."

"What's wrong with how I look, mama?" A bite of the cereal was taken, and the girl's nose scrunched up tightly while she chewed. Tasted funny.

Vivian rose from the bed and moved toward the dresser against the opposite wall, picking up the hand mirror. The woman was unnaturally tall, it was a wonder that Brenna was as small as she was. Easing onto the edge of the bed again, the mirror was held up before the girl.

"Just look, Brenna. Your nose is slightly..crooked, and your eyes..well they're simply too large for your face. If your hair wasn't so mousy and dull, perhaps it would benefit you in some positive way. We'll work on that, darling. To me, you're beautiful just as you are, imperfections and all."

"Thank you, mama," she whispered, sliding lower against the pillow.

"That's why people stare at you. And that's why your mother asks them what they think they're looking at. I'll always protect you." Vivian's hands were folded neatly in her lap after the mirror was pulled away and set down, back was rigid straight and as she sat and she kept up the stance of perfection. She was perfect. Brenna wanted to be just like her, some day. One day.

"I'm glad mama. I love you."

"We don't say that Brenna. You know the rules!"

"...I'm sorry, I didn't mean it."

"No. I'm sorry that you can't follow any type of direction. You will never speak those words again in my house, do you understand me? You must never speak them to anyone for they'll only bring you heartache."

"Yes. I understand, I promise. I'll never say those words again.."

"Good. Now, you must be punished. You're not allowed to leave your room for the rest of the day." Chin extended, stiffly, and lips tightened into a straight, thin line.

"But mama..it's only still morning.."

The slap stung, and bright tears formed in the corner of the girl's eyes. One hand lifted and the tips of fingers touched gingerly at the slight welt that was forming on her cheek. Her tiny body bruised so easily these days.

"Do not back talk me, Brenna. No reading today. When you learn to control that mouth then you will enjoy the liberties of your actions, until then, sit here and think about it by yourself." She rose from the bed and moved for the door. "And finish all that food or I'll be very upset with you."

"Yes mama. May I have the light on or the drapes open, please?"

A contemplative look crossed the woman's features, but only for a single moment.

"No."

The door was pulled closed and locked from the outside.

Darkness was haunting.

[munchausenbyproxy]

"Begin recording: Good evening, Brenna. Tonight I would like to review your chart and discuss what I believe your options to be. Before we start with that, however, why don't you tell me what's been going on the past couple of nights. Choose your words carefully before you speak."

"How about you just cut the bullshit and sign the release. You and I both know I'm not crazy."

"I know no such thing, Brenna, in fact I feel quite the opposite. Now, start with last night."

"It's none of your damn business what I do with my nights."

"On the contrary, it's very much my business."

"Fine. I went skateboarding in the park then sucked down a gallon of black licorice with Cam."

"You're lying."

"You're ugly."

"You're rude."

"You're retarded."

"Brenna.."

Silence.

"You went to see him last night."

"Yeah? So?"

"Why won't you discuss that aspect of your life with me?"

"God, you just don't get it at all, do you? I don't wanna discuss anything with you, Doctor Conolly."

Sigh.

"What can I do to change this? Tell me what I need to do to have you open up to me. I don't want to threaten you by telling you I will have you locked up, but this will change...I mean it.."

"Really? If I tell you, you'll do it?"

"Yes. Name it Brenna. I want you more comfortable. I have to be inside your head."

"Okay. To change this, if you could kindly go fuc--"

"Brenna."

Pause.

"Stay away from Max and Camilla."

"Then you'll give in a little?"

"Yes."

"You'll stay for the full session time?"

"....Yes."

"Deal. I let you walk out of here every night, and you let me inside."

"No."

"No?"

"I'm not letting you in, I'm letting you look though the window. I'll opened the drapes a little."

Smile.

"I'll take what I can get."

"That's right, Doctor Conolly, you will...because I don't think you get it from anywhere else, do you?"

"End recording: I'm going for a walk. Ten minutes, tops. Be ready for me when I get back, Brenna."

[munchausenbyproxy]

"Yeah."

"...Brenna?"

"Yeah."

"This is Doctor Conolly."

"Yeah?"

"I realize that it's short notice and we had no scheduled appointment tonight, but I'd like you to stop in regardless."

Pause.

"...Why?"

"Have you spoken with Cam since yesterday?"

"No, haven't seen her in two days."

"Come to my office as soon as you leave yours. I'll be waiting. And Brenna?"

"Yeah."

"Come alone."

Click.

[munchausenbyproxy]

Ring ring.

Long pause from Cam's end.

"What."

"Yeah."

"Bren?"

"Mmm hmm."

Silence.

"...Bren."

"Yeah?"

"What?"

"What what?!"

Pause.

"You called me."

"Yeah. So?"

Stare.

"What'd ya want?!"

"Seein' what you were doin'.."

al;kjfa ;lkaj

"Bren... I'm tired...."

"Oh. Kay. Got any candy corn left? 'm out."

Pause.

"Yeah."

"Cool."

".. so did y--"

Click.

[munchausenbyproxy]

"Yeah."

"Brenna. Doctor Conolly. You're late for our appointment."

"No I'm not."

"...You're not?"

"Right."

Pause.

"Would you mind explaining why, Brenna?"

"Oh. No..not at all. I showed up last night, which was unscheduled, so that sorta wipes out tonight."

"You don't get to decide that, Bren. You can't just make up your own set of rules and live by them whenever you choose."

Blink.

"Dude. Lighten up. It's a meeting. Appointment. Whatever."

"Damn it Brenna! It isn't fucking up to you!...Who the hell do you think you are?? God, you are such a..stupid bitch.."

Eye narrow. That..sounded..so familiar, that voice.

"Brenna, I apologize. That was..uncalled for and extremely rude of me."

Pause.

"Brenna? Don't hang u--"

Click.

___________

"Don't ask me to open up."

[munchausenbyproxy]

Piss Off


Trapped somewhere between caring and not, the girl was definitely lost in a world in which only she could relate -- and that's just how she needed it to be in order to preserve what little of herself was saved. Medications were refused, denied was the will to correct. Instead, she stayed comfortable in her state of confusion, further distancing the gap between what was acceptable versus what was inexcusable.


<center>She's comfortably cold, nothing short of bold
Make no mistake, gentle tones easily break
There's anger hidden there, not lost or unaware
You think you know? The seed of desolation grows
...and this time it's not letting her come back</center>


Quiet yet clamorous, standoffish yet thrusting forward, inward demands of self constricted the want to agree or adhere; friction fit like a second skin, keeping her warm and contained when tones of those surrounding were most icy. She heard only what she found necessary, the rest was brushed aside and disregarded as a means to protect -- protect not just herself but those who were considered close -- regardless of what others assumed or pretended to perceive.


<center>Easing closer is difficult to do, especially when the walls stand so tall and true
Behind the mask, the translucent screen, personality haunting turns vicious and mean
What appears to be forgotten is tucked away, locked up tight for use another day
Not against, instead for, when lost in darkness it leads you to the door
...this time it's you who's not coming back</center>


Don't think you know her, you don't. Don't mistake a greeting as the desire to learn more; it was just an acknowledgment of presence out of respect. Daily companions were hand picked, carefully chosen based on what she'd seen for herself, not heard from the mouths of habitual attention gainers.

Popularity was a farce -- those who surrounded themselves by many were generally the most lonely and hurting.

She knew of this first hand. But g'wan, try to convince her otherwise.

<font color="#ECE6CA"><font size="1">[ February 05, 2005 08:11 PM: Message edited by: munchausenbyproxy ]</font></font>

<font color="#ECE6CA" size="1">[ February 05, 2005 10:18 PM: Message edited by: munchausenbyproxy ]</font>

[munchausenbyproxy]

"Begin recording: Put out the cigarette, Brenna."

Exhale. Slowly.

"I'm not going to ask you again."

Careful stare before the cigarette was dropped to the ground, left lit and burning.

"Did I say drop the cigarette?"

"Newp."

"Then why did you?"

Easy smile.

"To piss you off, of course."

"End recording: Bitch."

"Just for you, Doctor Conolly."

Cruel smile. Thin lips, eyes beady and lacking definition of any kind.

"I will break you."

"S'where you're very..very wrong."

"Really. Enlighten me, won't you?"

Pause.

"...already broken."

Cigarette was ground out with one heel, leaving behind evidence of her presence.


<center>* * * * *</center>

"Matthew! Get the fuck in here right now."

"Yes sir?"

"Tail her. I want to know everything that little slut is doing; who she sees, what's said and what's done."

Pause.

"Matthew. I'm not giving you permission to spy on her for your own perverted pleasure. Understand?"

Tense pause.

"Yes..sir. You're giving me permission to spy on her for your perverted pleasure."

Door slam.

[munchausenbyproxy]

Ring ring.

Pause.

Ring ring.

Fuckin' Discovery Channel bullshit.

Ring ring.

"County morgue. You stab 'em, we slab 'em."

Chewing sound.

"...Hello?"

Swallow.

"Hey."

"Bren?"

More chewing.

"Yap."

"What's shakin'?"

Swallow.

"Nothin'."

Pause.

"Whatcha doin'?"

"Eating candy corn. At Cam's."

More chewing.

"Stop with the chewin' in my ear, babe."

Pause. Swallow.

"Can't fit in your ear, Max. 'm on the couch."

Stare.

"O-kaaay. Comin' over tonight or....?"

"Was plannin' on it, yeah."

"I'll leave the door un--"

Click.


<center>* * * * *</center>


Ring ring.

Pause.

Ring flippity ring.

"Joe's meat and poultry."

"Hey."

"...Hey."

"Leave the door unlocked..?"

Chuckle.

"Yeah babe, I just said I would, but you hung up.."

"Max."

"...Yeah?"

"Y'should start sellin' fish, too."

Stare.

"Bren...I don't really--"

Click.

[munchausenbyproxy]

"Hello?"

"It's me."

Pause.

"We're out of time."

"Yes, that's why I'm calling."

"It's a shame that you have to lose your favorite subject."

Muffled silence.

"Why don't you let me keep her for a little while?"

"That's not feasible. And her little bitch friend wouldn't stop searching--"

"I'll kill her, too."

Pause.

"Both girls, and your toy-experiment needs to end up dead, Den, I mean it. Don't fuck around with this because that chick's as crafty as the singer. Look what happened to--"

"You don't think I know this? Besides, she only did exactly as we wanted."

"First place the males are going to look is yours."

"I'll handle everything from this end."

Pause.

"You have a week. And, just out of curiosity...what are you going to do with her?"

"For a night, I'm going to give her back her dead lover."

Silence.

"You're one sick fuck, Den."

"That's why I'm working for you, right?"

"One week."

Click.

______________


Perfection is when a plan comes together, pieces fitting all snug and tight like a puzzle.

Now...he was e x c i t e d.

<font color="#ECE6CA" size="1">[ February 06, 2005 02:26 PM: Message edited by: munchausenbyproxy ]</font>