My Heroes Have Always Been Cowboys - - - Mackenzy Cord

[Roping the Wind]

(I have no idea who sings this just heard it on an old black and white film and thought it fit perfectly..)

I didn't sleep at all last night

Because we had an awful fight

I didn't have my favorite dream

The one where I'm holding your tight

That's why I had to call you, this morning
To see that everything's all right

I didn't have my favorite dream
The one where you're holding me tight...

Because I didn't sleep a wink at all
Last night


[img]graemlins/broken_heart.gif[/img]

[Roping the Wind]

Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance

The tension is here
Between who you are
And who you could be

Between how it is
And how it should be

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell

Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here

Dare you to move
Like today never happened...


______________________________________________

___________________________________________

He hadn't gone directly to the apartment the girls and Ris shared, no. Finding himself too much filled with a restless energy to take to his bed no matter how heavy a drug the fatigue was that infused his sluggish bones. He ended up wandering along the darkened city streets and found himself at the dog park where he had languished away many carefree afternoons with the pup and the belle. Slumping down onto a bench, he lost track of how long he sat there, staring into the endless pitch of nightfall. Only when the first streaks of dawn painted across the distant horizon did he finally peel himself away from the bench to push on down the path towards 'home.'

It was an evening not without its startling revelations. If he had thought he had been in love before, he was sorely mistaken. Because that bittersweet longing was nothing compared to the
soul-wrenching ache the burned painfully in the chambers of his heart now. When he let himself inside the upscale townhouse apartment, he leaned heavily against the door, pressing it closed as his dark head fell back against the sturdy oak wood. The strain of that carefully fashioned bravado for the public eye was wearing thin now as he allowed the water to slowly fill his eyes, but only for a few mere seconds before blinking it away with an air of quiet determination.

He flickered a glance of grey-green towards the grandfather clock that kept up the steady rhythm of the moments of time passing languidly by.
Nearly five in the morning. Too early to call. But maybe he could just leave a message on her cell. With trembling fingers he fished out the piece of technology from his pockets and after taking a steadying breath, was punching into the southern belle's number.

Ring. Ring.
Don't pick up. Let the voicemail kick in, please.
Ring.
"Heey," Came the familiar honey-rich drawl and for a moment the cowboy's heart skipped a beat.
But then the rest of the message played and his shoulders sagged in relief. He waited until the tone and then he was giving the all too brief message.

"S'me, baby. Just wanted to say, I love you. Night." Or morning, actually but the night never ended for him until he had told her he loved her.
Flipping the phone shut then, he was stumbling the few paces to crash onto the couch, not even
bothering to scuff towards the guest room.
Already in the grips of a dreamless sleep.


[img]graemlins/broken_heart.gif[/img]

<font color="#996600" size="1">[ November 15, 2004 11:31 PM: Message edited by: incomplete addiction ]</font>

[Roping the Wind]

He had already imbibed that strong cup of Bess' monkey brew spiked with whatever she had put into the stuff so he wasn't ready quite yet to feed his caffeine addiction again.

But he was more than willing to have a heart-to-heart (good god he was becoming a girl...hanging around Sin had its drawbacks...ha!) conversation and that seemed to be the main reason behind this impromptu excursion, hmm? They left the tavern in a companionable silence and cowboy kicked a steel toed boot along the ground, ridding a few splashes of technicolor autumn from his lumbering path. Leaves in all myriad hues of vibrant colors. Sidelong glance towards the spaniard. Without preamble.

"You would really...lock us together in your house?" He was just trying to make sure he had the complete picture.

"Damn straight I would." Sin snorted, crossing one arm over his abdomen and ashing his clove with the other. Sin didn't quite fit in with the canvas of fall -- he was almost always in black and today was no exception.
Heglanced at Mac as they walked, hawk eyes half-lidded.
"Do you even have any hope for the situation anymore, Mac?" Softly, but bluntly spoken.

"I..was terrified in the beginning, Sin," Gravel-rough admission.

"You have to understand. I always knew this would happen one day. Waiting for the other shoe to fall. Things were just too goddamned perfect, yanno? And I've always made my position on Bjorn clear from the very start of our relationship. She told me repeatedly, that she would never leave me. The Lion was in her past. But how easily it is to utter those words when temptation isn't staring you straight in the face, hm?"
He was speaking in a low rush of syllables, the words almost tripping over one another in their haste to be offered.

Yes, they had this Bjorn conversation at the onset of their courtship.
It was like rubbing salt into old wounds now for the cowboy.
"I don't want to lose her. I'll fight. With my last breath for that not to happen." Determinedly. Yes, hell he cared. Of course he did.

"Do you know anything of Shannon's past relationships?" Sin sucked down some clove and nicotime, looking over at Mac.

"I know...of the ones that hurt her most," Gruffly and as they approached the coffee house he was giving a pull to the glass door, holding it open for Sin so that he might pass through ahead of him. His mama had raised him with
manners, though it was rare he showed them. Only amongst select few it would seem.

"Thanks." Sin threw his cigarette out into the street as he moved inside.
"Bjorn has -- for as long as I can remember -- been an issue in all of her relationships. I really do think something needs to be done, because it's wrecking her life."
He took over a table, settling down and looking quite out of place in his trench-coated, grunge god way. "And I want it dealt with now."

"And I've gleaned enough from what she's confided in me to know that..-" He frowned slightly as though searching for the right words. When he mulled over his thoughts he took the opportunity to push on inside after Sin.
"..To know that Shannon, not too sound cold but from what I've witnessed just by her not even speaking to me directly at the time being...she lacks certain social skills in dealing with people. At least, she's almost as said as much to me in the...past." Mumbled as he stepped further inside the cafe and threaded his way through the late lunch crowd towards a private booth near the back.
He gave a nod of agreement. "I do, too. I'm glad you're with me on this Sin."
On my side. He silently added.
"Seems to be the case. I guess Bjorn's always done that pretty well too. But don't you let her, Mac. Please." Once they settled in the booth, Sin curled there, taking his sunglasses off.
"Yeah, well. I've seen Shan get hurt too much. I won't say I know what's best for her, but I think I have a good idea this time. You know?"
He and Shan had been friends for a long time -- and Sin had always been her confidant in that time. He had seen a lot and didn't want to see it anymore.

He slumped down onto his side of the booth, pulling off his leather gloves as he did so and pressing them out evenly onto the table, then set them aside, Fingertips scratched along the underside of his heavily whiskered jaw.

Shannon...didn't like when he didn't shave. Had been really against the idea of a wooly beard, he assumed the scratchiness whenever they kissed wasn't exactly a turn on. More than a few days worth of growth was shadowing his face now, the makings of the loathed beard even.
A weary breath pushed past his lips before he finally rumbled his reply. "I don't know what to do to make her..." What? Stay? Love him again? Had she even stopped?
He wasn't sure that wasn't the case for the way she seemed to avoid him like the plague and seemed reluctant to return his phone calls. He changed his direction with the lazy form of speech, drawl especially thick today.

"I won't Sin. Promise." Because they both needed the reassurance right about now.
He had a feeling that if the union between the cowboy and the belle dissolved that the sinner would be just as heartbroken as the immediate parties involved.
When a waitress appeared like magic to hovr near their table he tried for a crisply polite tone. It was a vast improvement over the sulk. "Coffee, black."

"Tonight, s'good." He tried to school his features not to look so eager at the idea. He hadn't even caught sight of the painter but a few times during the torture of last week.

"Well. Guess you both need to find out. If you wanna do it tonight, you can. If you wanna wait, that's fine. M'kay?"
Sin gave his shoulder a nudge with his own, watching him closely. If Mac needed a shoulder to lean on Sin was there for him too, not just Shannon. And.. well, Sin would be sad, yes. But he'd live. He just waved the waitress off when she asked for an order. Unless, you know. She'd like to offer her neck. "Alright."

That's riiiiight. He kept forgetting. Sin was...dead. Yessum. Sin'd just eat Mac. He'd like it.
..Um..anyways.. Cough.

"How is she?" He had asked already but he wanted to know everything. Was she eating well? Not drinking too much? He knew how easy it was to find solace in a bottle by trying to numb out any and all forms of thinking. He had done the same just last night. And oh, God..maybe he would regale Sin with the...tale later.

"She's alright. I've given her suggestions as much as I can-- beyond that, I've kept an eye on her. Just being silly, making sure she doesn't freak out too much. And what about you?"
His eyes narrowed then. Checking for just those things -- signs of hangovers, drugs, etc.
"I saw her playing drunk cards with Chey," Mumbled randomly, and apparently overlooking the inquiry of his own welfare. He hadn't approached not knowing if perhaps she would be more confused than angry in her inebriated state. Only watched from a safe distance.

"Better Chey then alone. Chey's a good girl." Sin nodded slowly, and shamelessly started checking out some guy's ass that walked in to order coffee. Hmm.
Mack..laughed. No matter what kind of drama was going on...Sin remained the fixed constant.
Happy sigh. "I love Rhydin."
"It has both its good and weak points," Cowboy chuckled around the words.
"I agree. But damn look at the asses around here. Hooot shit. Anyway!" Back to Mackie. Focus, Sin, focus!
"Thanks, bella." Roguish grin for the waitress and the smile only increased at the flush staining the young girl's fair features.
She couldn't have been more than eighteen.
"You're hot too." Sin was offering to the waitress with a purr. Gringrin.
See? This was why he needed contact (if not physical, than emotional) with his fiancee soon. He was unbearably horny. And had been this close to indulging in nekid drunken twister a few nights past at the tavern. Sin didn't know? Umm...he could keep that gem of knowledge to himself! He didn't need to step in it any further with Shannon. Fucking Christ.

"I have a hearse, you know. Maybe you can take a ride in the back with me and test out the shocks?" Rumbling further at the waitress, who skittered off, the poor thing. One man leering and the other offering crude remarks. Poor thing, indeed.
"Goood, sometimes I miss being straight." Sigh! Oh well. "When was the last time you had sex?" He knew it must have been awhile.
He lifted his mug to press against his lip for a fortifying sip. And..nearly choked.
Haah.

"Shit," Growled. Some of the scalding hot coffee sloshed over the rim of his mug to sear the back of his hand. He reached calmly for a few napkins from the dispenser, wrenching at the paper with more force than was necessary.
Nursing to his boo boo.
"That long, huh?" Sin eyed him with a faint smirk.
"Hell, I can't even remember." Grudgingly admitted. "Not that long I suppose," Pondering as his brows scrunched in thought.
"Less than two weeks. We went to the cabin earlier this month. Wanting some time to ourselves. To get away." Had it really only been less than two weeks? Shit, it seemed like so much longer. Sulking over his coffee once again.
That was a long time in the cowboy's book though!

"Don't sulk, it's unattractive." Primly spoken as he gave Mac's hair a tug. "I haven't had sex in a month. And I'm fucking Sin, Mac." That was.. some kind of record. Ahem..if he was going by their..cough..usual patterns.
Mack appeared horrified. "How the hell did that happen? Oh! Tir's outta town isn't he?" Sympathetic cluck of his tongue as grey-green slid to reguard the spaniard.
"Well, he's back now. But Shan's here. And we don't wanna.. you know." Heh.
An all too knowing glint filled his eyes. Mack almost wanted to throw his coffee on him!
".. What?" He was behaving himself! Damnit!

"You fucking bastard," It was a teasing sort of threat without any heat behind the words.
"Hey! I am behaving!" He grinned, musing.
"I fed from her once. If I wasn't kind of dying at the time, I would have enjoyed it.."
"Now I see where this sudden interest to help me stems from. You want Shannon out of your hair so the two of you can fuck! I'm all for that idea. I wanna fuck badly enough, too."
Agreeably, and then taking another sip from his coffee. Composed once again. Already forgetting the outburst. He was only jesting, of course. But it did seem to ring true!
"Hey! I do love her to death. Really, I do. But the sex is pushing me to resolve this, yes." Beam. Sin admits nothing!
"I know exactly how you feel, dude. I'm going crazy without her. Shit, I need her. Fuck, I was so close to doing something incredibly stupid last night. As plastered as I was out of my mind, I had enough sense to remove myself from that dangerous situation. But shit, oh shit. I'm going insane over here!"
Bemoaned with a dramatic flair that would probably make Sin proud. He would make an interesting...bi sexual, heh. But no more sequined t-shirts! He learned his lesson. Shudder.
It did. Heh. "Y'know. I can always feed from you, Mac. It feels like sex. It's.. a temporary relief." Wide-eyed on the cowboy.
....Staring.
"..Umm. I'm not that horny." Flail. Yes, he was.
"Well, the offer is open." Sin never turned down a meal!
"I'll.keep that in mind." Grinning as he took up his coffee mug once again. He'd never been 'fed' upon before. He didn't even like getting pierced. Didn't it hurt?

Briefly. But then the pleasure took over the pain pretty quickly. Sin was good at what he did -- he made sure of it. "Good. M'hungry anyway."
Mackenzy made a showy display of studying the laminated menu at his elbow. Whoa..look at what they charge for a simple BLT. That blowed.
"I could use a nibble, myself. I missed lunch."
"Get somethin'. My treat." A little grin there as he made some lude gestures at the waitress while she quickly scurried by.
"Well, if you're treatin' guess I can only return the favor, si? But not here.."
He meant of course for the feeding. That might draw...unwanted stares. Not to mention ruin more than a few appetites. He had to commend himself on how nonchalantly he rumbled over the words. Sin would be salivating any time now. He merely grinned and crooked a finger towards the waitress. Not the same one, poor thing wasn't going near that table again. The tip wasn't worth it!

"I'll have a turkey club on honey wheat with a side of curly fries. And refill on the coffee, if you please."
"Ooh! Really?" Sin did brighten noticably, delighted by the prospect in lunch. "Goodie. I adore you." A grin there before he gave the waitress a wink.
This waitress made Bess look warm and cuddly so he didn't wink or anything. Merely offering his request in a business like fashion. Ack.
Sin flirted with anything that had two legs, so! He was safe.
...Ahh and here the cowboy had been thinking he had much in common with the sinner until..right about then. He snickered into the collar of his leather jacket. He had...slightly higher standards. Keeping to only flirting with anything in a skirt. And no, polyester culottes didn't count.
He did! There was difference between passive flirting and serious flirting. Heck, flirting with this check would reduce the bill!
"When you're finished we can go someplace more private. M'kay?"
He only grinned. "You treat me, I treat you, eh?"
"Sounds like a plan." Coughing to hide any form of discomfort.
"I should buy you lunch more often." Nothing but a sinner's smile on his face then.

Hey! Sin might be goood at what he did but he wasn't a fan of having his flesh punctured.
He'd be fiiiine. Silly cowboy.
He had almost cried like a baby when he got his tongue ring. At the memory, he was clicking the glint of silver against the back of his teeth in an idle form of distraction.
Ooo. He had a tongue ring? That was cool.
Yes.
Suffered through the pain for his baby's ultimate pleasure. Such a sweetheart he was.
Sin had piercings in.. other places. Not the tongue, though!
...Mack did not want to know.
Heh. Sin was checking out ass while Mac was eating, occasionally giving a few rumbles. And then he grinned. "See that chick? The one who just came in?" He pointed. Pretty little thing, a blonde.
Mild form of a grunt as he drummed fingertips onto the formica of the tabletop.
He was already passing a glance around so he shifted en route and looked towards the piece of eye candy Sin was indicating.
"Hot."
"That's a guy." HAH.
Shannon wanted him tattooed though!

...Mack just stared in disbelief,
See, it was only a matter of time. Everyone had a bit of gay in them!
"You can tell by the way she walks. It's a guy." Wiiiiide grin there.
"Holy fuck. You don't say."
Why did he suddenly want to retch?
"Mmhm. A very, very good crossdresser though. Kudos to that guy." Eyeing Mac again.
"I think I just lost my appetite," Good naturedly. He wrap up the free lunch and take it to go! But don't worry Sin would still get his. Wink.
Sin actually laughed then, grinning.
If he had any coffee left in his mug it would be coloring Sin right now. He contented himself with throwing a few toothpicks at him. Tiny missiles of death!
Sin swatted Mac before thumbing a few bills down for the tab. Missles!

Oooh, there was the cute waitress again and trying to bustle away as fast as she could with her coffee pot back to her station.
"Ciao bella," Confusing her with the foreign words enough to have her pausing near their booth.
"Call me, sicaliptico." Rumblerumble to her, opening the door for Mac.
"Could you change my order to go? I'm as it turns out a bit pressed for time, this afternoon. Grazie." Wink and a languid form of a smile.
Oops, not leaving.
Where'd that come from.
"He wants your phone number too." Rumble.
Sin got a intense glare as she scooted from the booth to lumber for the facilities. "Don't mind him, he's..dead." And that really had the poor thing running away!

******************************************


[img]graemlins/coffee.gif[/img]

<font color="#996600" size="1">[ November 16, 2004 01:36 AM: Message edited by: incomplete addiction ]</font>

[Roping the Wind]

</font><ul type="square">[*]<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Reasons to be Single:

Flirting with hot women
Perks of confirmed bachelorhood
Walk around in your underwear
Always get the last slice pizza
Master of the remote control
Never having to sit through a chick flick
Never having to see girly stuff in the bathroom
Having TONS of closet space
Not being yelled at to take out the trash
Not being forced into giving the dog a bath
Not having to dance If don't feel like dancing
Not having to shave</font>[*]<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Reasons to be engaged:

Getting smacked when looking at hot women
Not being a confirmed bachelor anymore
Being laughed at when walking around in underwear
Magnanimously giving up the last slice of pizza
Sharing the remote control
Being dragged to chick flicks
Would miss the sight of girly things in the bathroom
Having too much empty closet space
Being yelled at to take out the trash
Being forced to give the dog a bath
Dancing every dance as though it were your last
Having someone to complain about not shaving</font>[/list]<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">___________________________________________ ______
He tallied up both lists. The pros and the cons.
And he was even more confused than ever before.

<font color="#996600" size="1">[ November 16, 2004 11:41 PM: Message edited by: incomplete addiction ]</font>

[Roping the Wind]

I think I?ve already lost you
I think you?re already gone
I think I?m finally scared now
You think I?m weak - but I think you?re wrong
I think you?re already leaving
Feels like your hand is on the door
I thought this place was an empire
But now I?m relaxed - I can?t be sure

I think you?re so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I?m just scared - I think too much
I know this is wrong it?s a problem I?m dealing

If you?re gone - maybe it?s time to go home
There?s an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you?re gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there?s a little bit of something me
In everything in you

I bet you?re hard to get over
I bet the room just won?t shine
I bet my hands I can stay here
I bet you need - more than you mind

I think you?re so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I?m just scared - that I know too much
I can?t relate and that?s a problem I?m feeling

If you?re gone - maybe it?s time to go home
There?s an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you?re gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there?s a little bit of something me
In everything in you

I think you?re so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I?m just scared - do I talk too much
I know this is wrong it?s a problem I?m dealing

If you?re gone - maybe it?s time to go home
There?s an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you?re gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there?s a little bit of something me
In everything in you

--Matchbox Twenty

<font color="#996600" size="1">[ November 17, 2004 08:02 PM: Message edited by: incomplete addiction ]</font>

[Roping the Wind]

"Kenzy," she complained in a rather dour tone.
Good grief! She had mucked out the stall perfectly and here he was making her redo each and every inch, laying down more hay where it wasn't even needed.


"Don't sulk, Mandah," he crooned in a gleeful sort of way. "T'aint becoming." Seventeen year old Mackenzy was just grinning at the twelve year old tom boy as he leaned against the stall door to watch her work, keeping an eagle eye out for any
mistakes. "You could thin it out over there some."
He offered helpfully. At her scowl, he laughed.
"If you keep on making faces like that it's going to freeze that way." And he stuck his own tongue out just for kicks even though he had long since
grown out of such childish behavior.

Then he resumed his lean as though he owned the place. As truth would have it, this was Lillian's father's ranch. But he worked hard for the old man. Put his blood, sweat and tears into everything he did. He was only a humble ranch hand now, but someday, he would be the boss.
He planned to have his own sprawling ranch one day. Maybe he would even breed horses. He'd like to have stables of them. And maybe even an orchard
to pick apples at harvest time. A private lake to go fishing in. And a country wrap around style porch attached to a country house tucked away in a bustling city. That was his dream.
And to be loved by the ever unattainable Lillian.

Or so he thought as a naive youth.


-----------------------------------------------

Mackenzy woke up with a start. "Mandy?" He called out softly into the darkness as though half expecting her to answer. Then he was falling back against the sweat soaked sheets. His fever had broken during the night and the bedclothes were too uncomfortably damp to curl back into and he was too sleepy to change them for fresh sheets right now. He stumbled from his bedroom and down the hallway, yawning as he started for the kitchen. Blue and Killer were snoozing peacefully
near the hearth, the embers were a smoldering glow of orange-red now. The pomeranian was coping well, with the loss of his mentor, Loki, but then again it had only been two days. Old Blue? Well, he didn't seem to care either way.

Mack pulled open the door to the fridge and poked his dark head inside to check on the offerings.
It was funny how people studied the contents of their refrigerator in a rather thoughtfully intense sort of way as though they really didn't know what they expected to find. He emerged with a nearly depleted container of juice and then nudging the door shut with his naked hip (cowboy didn't believe in pajamas apparently) he was leaving the kitchen to start for the living room.
He flopped down onto the couch and was about to turn on the television when a strange light originating from beyond the patio doors caught his attention. UFO?! No, of course not.

It was then that it hit him like a thunderbolt of breathless clarity. The weak illumination was
from the porch light of the guest house. A small cottage that was reserved for his more extended guests. With a fully equipped kitchen, bathroom which included a whirlpool bath and a full stocked bar and widescreen television (with cable)
the amenities were almost nicer than what -he- was used to. But then again, Mackenzy was a gracious host. Even if he didn't entertain often, he went all out when he did.

She was here.
Amanda.


He still couldn't get over it, the ways that she had changed over all those years they had lost touch when Charisma had moved them away from Texas to make for themselves a better life in
some other locale. He had been a rather rebellious
teen and had been adamant about not leaving.

I won't go! You can't make me. This is going to ruin my life!
Why is it going to ruin your life, Mackenzy? Because of her? She doesn't give a damn about you. I'm sorry to be so harsh, hun. But you know it's true.
You just don't understand! She loves me, Ris.
She loves to control you, mi caro. I'm sorry but I'm sure you know that her father would never approve. It's all a game to her. Don't you see? She's not taking this whole thing seriously.
She is! I proposed to her and we're getting married.
Oh, Mac...


It was the last conversation he had with his older sister before that fateful day at that small country chapel. On a unbearably hot day in August, he had waited. Filled with nerves and plagued with all sorts of doubts.
But his bride never showed. She didn't even leave
a note. Gone.
Mandy had been the first to break the deadly silence once he had calmly walked down the aisle and it was the longest journey to an exit he had ever traveled in his short life.
He kicked open the chapel's doors and stormed out.
And she had followed. He didn't know how he hadn't seen it then but he had been too blinded by hurt and anger to see it.

"Mac! MAC!" Louder from the twelve year old version of Amanda once her first startled shout had fallen on deaf ears. She hurried as fast as she could down the steps of the small church and
was in pursuit of the stalking figure that was rapidly disappearing down the city streets.
"Mac! Please wait!"
"Whaaaaat?!"

She flinched when he suddenly turned on her, grey-green was hardly more than emerald fire and hardened steel as those eyes seem to see through to her very soul. Branding her for all time.
She swallowed.

"Don't go."
"I have to, Mandy."
"Kenzy, I-" Love you.
"Don't worry, kiddo. I promise we'll write."
"Oh. Um, okay."
"See you around, Mandah."
"Goodbye Mackenzy."

Fourteen years.

He couldn't believe it had really been that long since that conversation. How could that be? He was lured away from his walk down memory lane by the sudden appearance of a fluffball catapulting onto his stomach. He gave a mild form of a grunt and ruffled the pup's fur, glad for the distraction. Poor Killer. It hadn't been that long yet, so the cowboy hadn't the heart to tell the puppy that Mommy wasn't coming home.
It was heartbreaking really. The way the pom would go and sit by the door, staring as though
willing the artist to come breezing through at any moment. He almost expected it himself.
But he knew that wasn't going to happen.

And really, after the events that had transpired earlier in the day, he wasn't even sure he could
go back to that treasured form of life. He wasn't that man anymore. The reappearance of that gangly,
tomboy child, sans the metal tracks across her teeth, glasses, and losing all her former ugly duckliness...had blossomed into a rare beauty.
Cliche as it may seem but a graceful swan.
He coughed in remembrance of another memory that
was crowding its way into his mind.
Oh, shit. Shit. Shit. Shit...

This was a fine mess he had found himself in.
The only redeeming factor being, he didn't have anyone to explain himself to anymore. Women from his past were turning up all over the place these days. He supposed he should feel thankful for that but he only felt even more alone.

<font color="#996600" size="1">[ November 19, 2004 01:45 PM: Message edited by: incomplete addiction ]</font>

[Amanda Lynn Covington]

What in the hell were you thinking Amanda? That question raced through her mind as she paced the length of the guest room from door to bed and back again.

It had been thirteen years since she had seen Mackenzy and she had acted as if she were twelve years old again! She would never forget the last time she got the chance to talk to him. He was dashing in the tuxedo he had rented for the occasion and she had to wait for her heart to stop doing flip-flops before approaching him. "Hey there Kenzy." From behind the nervous cowboy, that still squeaky southern voice came. One would think that she would have dressed up for the occasion, but it was Mandy we were talking about. She had donned her nicest pair of denims and had even went out and bought a new flowered shirt with a lace collar. "Are you sure you wanna go through with this? I mean, we could skip outta here right now and hit the range before Miss Frilly pants shows up." She was joking of course, but if he wanted to, she would go to the moon and back with him. "I love her Mandah, of course I'm gonna go through with this." And then he went into detail about the things he had planned for the two of them. Little did he know that everything he was saying was tearing a little piece of her heart off. Wide blue eyes filled with stars each and every time she looked at him and he didn't even know it. "Well, I just wanted ya to know that even if you are married, I'm still willin' to muck out the stalls for ya."

But he never did get married. Lillian hadn't shown and Mackenzy was devastated. She tried to stop him from leaving, even ran after him to offer to take the woman's place. "Don't worry kiddo, I promise we'll write." Those words broke her heart. How was a twelve year old supposed to realize that he was hurting? From that day on, she swore to herself that no man was going to capture her heart like that again. Choosing the cowboy way of life, she threw out any and every skirt, satin shirt, and lacy garment she owned, including that new flowered shirt she had just spent every last penny she had to buy.

Now, after thirteen years, not only had she spoken to him again, but she had given him the only thing she had left to keep herself from being a full woman. Scowling, she paced once more. "I came here to do a job not lose my heart again." Berating herself, she pounded a fist into her palm. "Well, chalk it up to a learning experience Mandy." Surely she caught him off guard and that was why he had lost his head the way he had. The way he had looked at her though, as if she were desirable, as if she were a woman instead of Mandah. With a groan, she threw herself upon the bed and hugged a pillow over her face so that her scream of frustration could be muffled. Tomorrow was going to be a new day, and the whole situation was going to be forgotten. It was probably best for them both as nothing could possibly come from what had transpired tonight but heartache.

<font color="#996600" size="1">[ November 21, 2004 02:14 PM: Message edited by: Amanda Lynn Covington ]</font>

[Roping the Wind]

The surviving members of Alessandra and Alessandro Cord's family would be stunned.
The long lost missing son had been found.
Alive.



Some relatives and friends would have remembered that tragic day all too painfully...


Sandra had been seven months pregnant with her second set of twins. standing in the produce section of the supermarket while
discussing with her oldest daughter how to tell when a melon is perfectly ripe.
Francenzo and Pancrazio, seven year old holy terrors, mirror images of the same dark haired impersonation of their father battled it out in an aisle nearby, boisterously noisy and rambunctious like boys their age should be.

"I am master of the universe!" Seven year old Mack declared thumping his chest and 'blasting' his brother with a sonic ray gun.

"Nuh uh! I wanna be He-man!" Frank grumbled, the older twin by five and a half minutes.
He grinned then and plucked a plastic sword off a nearby shelf. "By the power of Grayskull..!"
He declared as he fisted the air with the novelty toy. And he was master of the universe first 'cuz he was older! Neeener.

"Boys! Boys! Please.." Their mother's voice,softly furious and somewhat exasperated.
"Charisma, would you?" An unspoken request,
Keep them occupied before I completely lose my mind?
"Yes, mama." Thirteen year old Ris was always mature beyond her years, a rather serious and responsible child. Always put as a go-between when things became too much to handle.
"Mack! Frank! Shhhhhhhhhhh!" Yes, she was a big help wasn't she? Well, she was a thirteen year old girl. She kept an eye on the two ruffians while they tussled out of the corner of her eye while she made small talk with a cute stock boy.

Sands of time passed.

"Ris? I've got the groceries and I'm heading for the car, grab the boys and I'll drive around front, okay? It's raining and I don't want anyone getting wet." And possibly dying of pneumonia. Charisma had earned her mama minx wings from her overprotective, but
well meaning mother.

"Okay, mama!" She called and then said her goodbyes to the store employee, blushing when the youth flashed her a wink. Green-greys passed a glance around.
"Mack! Frank! Time to go! Quit hiding, I know you guys both too well for that." She was teasing, a lighthearted girl without a care in the world. She even picked up a magazine
and thumbed through it while waiting for her younger brothers to show themselves.

A prickle of unease creeped down her spine when neither dark haired grey-green eyed boy made an appearance. She was someone easily given to alarm so she stuffed the issue of Sassy back onto the shelf and raking her fingers through her wild auburn hair began to walk the length of the supermarket, peering anxiously into each aisle as she passed.

"Maaaack! Fraaank! C'mon, guys. This isn't funny anymore!" Mama was going to be so furious with her! And then she spied her brother (singular) sitting in the middle of the floor of the last aisle she checked. Jelly shoes slapped along linoleum as Charisma closed the distance between herself and Mackenzy.
"Didn't you hear me calling you?" She was practically livid with anger and also sagging with relief. "Grab your brother and let's go. Mom's waiting."

Something in the way her baby brother was just staring into space had the older girl crumpling to her knees beside the very still figure of her sibling and giving him a gentle
shake of his shoulders. "Mack? What's wrong with you? Where's Frank?"
He stared into silence a few moments later and then whatever had obscured his vision cleared and Mackenzy turned to stare at his sister in stunned disbelief. His grimey, round cheeks stained with saltine tears. "He's...gone."

And a plastic sword lay nearby the back exit of the grocery store.

<font color="#996600" size="1">[ November 21, 2004 12:17 PM: Message edited by: incomplete addiction ]</font>

[Roping the Wind]

Finaly! A break in the madness that was her life currently. She had been avoiding the ranch as much as possible, using the excuse of the upcoming delivery to keep herself away. But, one had to eat and so she was on her way to the the tavern. Well worn boots made hardly a sound as she ambled up the street. With her hands shoved down into the pockets of those faded jeans and that large, bulky, buttoned up shirt, she might have passed for a gangly youth, but the long braid of honey would give her away as it dangled from under the stetson that perched low upon her head.

Nothing last forever. Not even cold november rain. Guns n' roses trickled from his discman earphones and he was just grooving to the beat, moving booted tread along the steps as he neared the porch.

It was the familiar form of Kenzy that had her heart tripping in a ping in hesitation. It had been two days since they spoke last and just the sight of him stirred memories that would have any schoolgirl blushing. Get a grip Mandy, it's just

Mackenzy for goodness sakes! Hurrying up behind him, a twin poking to both sides would be used to startle him before she was scurrying around him and darting for the steps. Racing to be the first there as they had done during their days on the Gramercy ranch.

..Startle him? Ha. He heard not her approach for the music that was blaring heartbreak into his feverish brain. But he did jump a little because...gaaaaah. Ticklish!

Before she could make that scurry, he was branding steel around her waist in the form of a notsomuch hug as a horseplay tussle just like when they were kids.

"Keeennzzy!" Whining in her best 'You're not playing fair!' voice, she squirmed against him. Hands coming to his arm in an attempt to pry his fingers away. She was going to win and he wasn't going to stop her so there! By the way, did we mention she was squirmiiing?

Horse trainer ...meet leaf pile. She was probably kicking and giggling (shrieking) to get away sohis grip tightened all the more. Rib crushing even. Swingswing. One for the money... one for the road... two to get ready...
...and four to go! Heaaaaaaaaaave PLOP. Flailing Mandah of the Leaves. Crunch.
How was that for a greeting? Cowboy was creative.
Cowboy had trouble with counting skills. Hrn.

Oh no he didn't! Slick as a snake in a mudhole, she grabbed a hold of his shirt as she was flung. Legs managed to wrap about the back of one of his, ankles locking around his knee. If she was going down, he was going with her!

Mandah had that affect on most people!
Oh shit. Pulled into the pile down with her! Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

Cowboy, meet a facefull of leaves! She was twisting about to grab a handfull to start stuffing down his shirt! Somewhere along the way, her hat had managed to find it's way off her head and darnitall her hair was now unbound and flying wildly about her face.

"You shall pay for this!" In his best evil CLAW from Inspector Gadget voice. Someone cue the cat screeching.
NOT FAIR!
If he pushed leaves down her shirt he would be slapped the hell silly.

"Come in Brain. I need reinforcements!" Penny to the rescue! Another handfull was grabbed and those icy blues would hint at her intentions as they shot down to the waistband of his jeans.

He wriggled to dislodge any leaflings from his shirt and the his fingers folded around a trim ankle emerging from the fray.
....and he PULLED.
Dragging Amanda across the ground, rucking up her shirt, leaves and maybe even some creepy crawlies underground. Everyone say it together now. ...Ewww...

"Ooof!" The sudden jerking of her ankle had the handfull of leaves slipping from her fingers as she tried to grab a hold of anything to keep from being dragged. Creepy crawlies? Heck, she used to hunt them down to fish with!

"I've got you now," he murmured in a wicked Claw way.
..That's right. Creepy crawlies don't work on scaring Tomboys.

The mucking of her shirt however.."You varment, I'm going to get you for this!" Twisting, she was now on her back and trying to kick at him with her free foot so that she could get the other one out of his grasp.

He was screwed and would have to think of other methods to terrify her. Musemuse.
He flipped her over and effectively pinned her with an arm on either side of the ground. Cowboy caged the horsetrainer. How ironic. "Whatchu gonna do 'bout it?" Rumbled so softy as his wickedly grinning face loomed over her flushed pink one. It was all in good fun. Just like when they were kids, right?

If it was..Then he was waaay to close for her personal comfort. She squirmed again, but this time, it was for different reasons all together. What was it with those incredibly intoxicating eyes and that soft rumble of a voice? "I'm..I'll just.." Smooth Mandy, you sound like a broken record! "I'll get you my pretty and your little dog too!" In her best (and quite good) immitation of the wicked witch. Pretty good distraction technique right?

Indeed! He just...stared and then collapsed into a fit of uproarious laughter. Whatever intense, crazy filled moment they had momentarily been wrapped up in passed and it was just Mandah and Kenz again. Rough housing just like the youths they had been another lifetime ago.
"You're nuts." He pings her with leaves. Yucky ones with bugs crawling on them. Boys will be boys.

He collapsed? Well that was better than she thought she could do! But wait a minute! She was laying under him darnet! Fingers would start their assault as she grabbed a hold of his sides and started tickling for all she was worth.

She would probably add them to her insect collection. Ewww...just think how gross it would be by now if she still had it!

Leaves had nothing on those fingers that knew each and every tickle spot on the cowboy!

Preserved bugs. He shuddered. UGH.
He had collapsed...yes. So now he was crushing her with his weight. Hrn. One of them should move. But he was quite comfy right now. Whistle.


Oh hell no! Just for that she would be punished... and he knew exactly how to exact horrible revenge. Tickle monster!

Not only did cowboy not move, now ahem...well, he was moving but not away. Tickletickle...fingertips dancing along the sides of her ribs. If it were any other woman, people would've thought he was flirting.
But this was Mandah. Twelve year old tomboy he saw every morning on the ranch at the tender age of seventeen. She had blown in like a tumbleweed and grown like mighty damn but...hrn. Some things never changed!


Imagine, him flirting with her! Now she was squirming, parts of her touching parts of him, but wasn't that unavoidable with him atop her? Her laughter was borderline husky as she watched his features between laughs. "Oh just you wait Kenzy..I'm going to.." What Mandah? Wish you could kiss him to death? Ha! He's not a teenager anymore and you're not a child. Grow up! "Make you wish you'd never done this." There, that was threatening wasn't it?

"Oh yeaaah? How're gonna do that?" Grinning and leaning to rumble the syllables against the shell of her ear. his breath steamed up the inner curve of her neck and was scented with the spiced cider he had indulged in earlier at some out of the way cafe.
Threatening? He'd show her threatening!

Now why did he have to go and do a thing like that? She tried to talk, but she only ended up squeaking and stuttering. Yes, the horse trainer stuttered when nervous. "I..I w-w-will p-put a sn-aake in y-y-your bed." It was nearly a 'finger gripping shirt to make sure she didn't float away' hold.

He could say something so wrong right now. Grunthrnugh.
"Not a snake!" He feigned terror but it wasn't entirely a sham
He was scared shitless of amphibian crawl things that could bite. "Well, I will..--" Thinking! "I'll..." Sputterflail!

Watch the lightbulb appear over cowboy's head. He brightened.

Oh she had him now! "What's wrong Mackenzy?" His name simply drawled from her lips as she looked up at him. "Cat got yer tongue?"

"If you do then I'll give you my cooties." Boys had them yanno.
"I'll kiss you but good!" Ha!
Now he waited with satisfaction and wriggled for effect. Yes, pinned trainer, still.

"Cooties? Mackenzy, are you feeling well?" Had he knocked himself silly? He was nearing thirty and talkin' about cooties? And of course, she was trying to distract him from the sudden erratic beating of her pulse. And wiggling?
Only he would see the different shade of blue come to those eyes as she looked up at him. "A kiss isn't so scary." Was she calling his bluff? Yup!

He was still ailing from the influenza, remember?
But getting better! So she really would be risking 'cooties.'
Quite to the contrary, a kiss could be dead scary in the right situation. It was a kiss that had pulled the rug right fromunder his feet and brought his entire world to a crashing halt.

He frowned then, butit wasn't at her. At the memory of last week a time that had already seemed like an eternity ago. All he could see was Shannon's face when he was told that Bjorn had kissed her. He had known he had lost her the moment the admission had fallen softly from her lips. It had been the waiting game afterwards that had felt like torture. Calling his bluff? Well, he'd show he was a man that honored his promises...err threats! Lowering his dark head and fairly knocking Mandy's head back with the force of the assaulting kiss. He hadn't meant for it to be so furiously powerful but the thought of his broken engagement was getting him all riled up and angry again. When his ire soothed, hislipssoftened and then the touch endured. A just to see what this is like..hrn thing



Her startled gasp was smothered by the sudden and fierce pressing of his lips against hers. Her head did thud against the ground, but any pain that it caused was nothing compared to the heat of curious excitement that raced through her with the anger and passion that flared between them. Her fingers clenched the material of his shirt, nails probably scraping his muscled chest beneath the fabric.

Her lips were just as punishing as if she could take out all of her anger against his dissapearance with the press of her lips. Teeth even nipped at his bottom lip once the pressure was softened, catching it for a moment before letting it go to let lips sooth the slight pain it might have caused.

What are you doing, cowboy? This is Mandah! The thought was there somewhere but it didn't seem to register.
He didn't feel much of anything these days. Numb and hollow. Those were emotions he could deal with.
And shit..shwaskissinghim back? He put a stop to the madness when he pulled away. Stunned as though cut clear to the bone and the expression stretching across the canvasof his features said as much. He grasped at whatever words would come to mind.
"I'm sorry I mussed your shirt.Buy y'new one if the stain doesn't come out." He rumbled.

Her breath was coming in heaving gasps and when he pulled away, she took in a deep gulp of air. Stunned expression crossed her features, but there was no mistaking the glint in those blues as she looked up at him. With the words that came from her lips, her features crumbled and she shoved him..HARD. Hard enough to probably knock him on his back. Before he could say anything, she was off like a bullet from a hunting rifle. Golden honey flying wildly behind her and heels kicking up dust along the road.
Somewhere beside Mack was her discarded hat, but she wasn't about to stop and get it. She had to get away before he could see just how much that bluff had affected her.

He was effectively knocked on his back. Umm..yeaah!
And staring bemused at a painfully blue autumn sky. Holy bemusement, Batman.

There was only one place she could go that she knew of, and there was a certain stallion she was going for. Maybe the two high spirited souls could come to an agreement long enough that she could feel the wind in her hair.

He came to himself slowly, brushing stray leaves from his cashmere wool blend coat and the denim fabric that stretched across too long limbs. The stetson spied and taken up between his hands.
Dusting off the back of his jeans he was striding across the lawn to head for the streets and yes the only thought in his head being...
'What the hell just happened here?!'

<font color="#996600" size="1">[ November 22, 2004 04:50 AM: Message edited by: incomplete addiction ]</font>

[Roping the Wind]

Cowboy was jittery tonight. Anxious. Uneasy. He wore a pretty good path across the lawn. Pacing like a caged lion. Where was she?! Ha! It was laughable, really. Mackenzy was notorious for making other people wait on him. He had news to impart to his sister. Earth shattering news.

She was there! Dammit, Melanie needed a car. She was sick of walking everywhere. Wrapping her sweater around her, she walked up to her restless brother. "We're going car shopping tomorrow."
He lifted a brow, but much to her surprise nodded and was giving words she was sure to hold him to later. "Sure, plush or leather interior?"
Melanie should get in while the getting was good. He was crazy as hell right now! He would've agreed to anything. Ask for money.

"Leather." She stepped around in front of him and looked up into his teched gaze. "What is it, Kenzy?" Something was off; the look in his eyes, the particular slant to his shoulders as he stood there, and the envelope. "What's that?" A tapered finger pointed.
"Inside," he murmurd arond a distressed grunt. Yes, something was very off. "We need to talk." And ironic how he had heard those very same words just a few days ago but this time he was the one initiating the exchange and thus, somewhat agitated on how to handle matters.

He lifted the envelope and the paper held a jagged tear along one side. "This is proof that we've been deceived, our whole godamned life." Easily offered and he was steering her for the porch if she wasn't already moving she was now!
This didn't bode well. Melanie's gaze lingered within his a moment longer. Then, she nodded and was stepping lightly up into the tavern, flip flops flopping over the threshold. "Lead the way." She gestured in front of her, hazel gaze snapping up at the movement sent in her direction. She smiled at Morgana and waved.
Any other evening, she would have beckoned the woman over but.. Mel glanced back at Kenzy. This was going to be like any other night, she had the sinking feeling.

"It's ..not bad news, Melanie. Don't worry. Just...you should sit down for this discussion." Anyone familiar outside received a cursory wiggling of his fingers and then he was starting for the door, tugging his baby sister along in tow. Oh, God give him strength.

He chose a booth closer towards the back that would provide some shred of privacy. Fortunately, the din in the air wasn't as noisy as usual. That almost made matters worse.
Oh, this was going well. She knew her dear brother was trying to assuage her fears, but the fact that she would need to sit down did nothing to stop the butterflies in her stomach from doing the tango. Melanie slid silently across vinyl cushion, piling her purse between her thigh and the wall. She bounced her flip flops against the bottoms of her feet, eyes that were curious in a most reluctant way watching Mackenzy.
He scooted in after his sister on the same side, curling his arm along the back of the booth.
The envelope was tossed onto the table.
Almost like a gauntlet thrown down.

"Read that first," he rumbled and allowed his head to lull back against the wall. Grey-green leaning towards the ceiling.
On the same side? Lord help her. Melanie swallowed and looked at the envelope like it was a viper. She held it like it was going to bite her. Reaching carefully into the paper folds, Melanie pulled the letter free and read it over. Slender brows furrowed as the minutes ticked by. Finally, she looked up Mack, worrying the inside of her cheek between her teeth.
"I don't understand.."

"I don't really either. I thought he was dead. We all did. And I don't know why we never told you, or Melody. You had lost so much already and we were still --" Grieving over yet another family tragedy. He didn't finish that sentence instead adopting another. "Okay, umm.." HemHaw. Shit, that was hard.

She fell back against the cushion and into stunned silence. Mack was a twin? They.. had another brother? The papers crinkled as Mel's hands slid absently into her lap, eyes emptying as she drew inside herself to try and wrap her mind around what Mack and the contents of the envelope were trying to say. "What happened to him?" she asked quietly.
And....she had put it together on her own. He winced. "I'm sorry she never told you." Meaning Charisma. And he was apologetic himself for never confiding that secret pain in his siblings either.
Being a twin was a pretty powerful thing, the kinetic bond. Who would've understood more than...another twin?
He slumped down further into his seat. His hand shaking as it pushed through haphazard shards of onyx black.

"I don't know. He was taken I guess, snatched up like pushing away with someone else's shopping cart. Mom was pregnant with you and Dee at the time. I was only seven. Charisma was supposed to be watching us, but hell, we
were hellions and giving her a hard time. We agreed to make her worry (little boys really are evil spawn) and hide from her once she came to round us up. I..thought.. I could've sworn --" That he was right behind me.
"He was just gone, Mel." Defeatedly.

"Oh, Kenzy.." This had to be harder for him than it was for her. Letters in her lap, she turned where she sat and hugged him close. The next few moments passed in silence while she comforted and still tried to comprehend it all.
Their poor family. "Have you talked to him?"
"Yeah. Earlier this evening. Shit, this is...." He didn't know what it was. Amazing? Uncomprensible? Yes, all that. He rubbed a calloused palm down the side of his face.
His twin brother was alive.

"How.." It was strange, talking about such an altering exchange in such a seemingly casual way. "How did it go?"
Surprisingly, he chuckled. Expression one of bemusement. "It was..well, it was weird. To be quite honest." And would get even weirder once they met in person!
"But good...yes, good weird." Mack was so cute. He was nodding.

A Mackenzy look-a-like! Women of Rhydin rejoice. Melanie retrieved the papers from her lap and tucked them neatly back into the envelope. "When will you actually meet him?" What confusion and hurt had seeped into her heart was slowly being replaced with excitement.
"Next week." Details were as yet sketchy.
"He's here, Mel. In town. Right now, there's someone walking around looking just like me, off who knows where." He laughed.
"He said once he's settled he'll get in touch with me. I have the number to his cell." Added on belatedly and then he was just musing as he stared off into space.

"Can I be there?" Silly question, but--She blinked. "Are you serious?" Imagine if she'd run into him! That would have been one confusing affair. "What did he say when he called you?"
"Of course, mi caro. But Charisma is...I don't know, hun." He frowned. What? Guilty? Stung? "She always blamed herself.
And has always harbored a fear that he did too. But hell, he was only seven! I remember what I got mad about when I was seven.
Meaningless stuff. My sonic blaster ray gun breaking two days after I spent all my allowance to buy it.
Fighting over who got to be He-Man when we played Masters of the Universe. Melanie! Do you know what this means?!" His eyes gleamed.
"I have a twin fucking brother!"
He was captain of the obvious yes. But just had to shout it aloud as though that would make the fact all that more truthful.
"She's scared," she said simply. Just like Melanie would be if she were in her older sister's shoes. She grinned up at her brother, hazel eyes dancing. "I know! I have another brother!" And then, as if she realized just what that would mean for her, "Oh God. I have another brother."
And yes, women of the city rejoice. If, umm...NotMack was straight!
"Mwaha! Yes, another OLDER brother, sister dear," he murmured with wicked satisfaction.
"Maybe he's NICE and QUIET like me."
Just let those young bucks even try to get past the double force-- ack!
"He was a pain in the ass."
"Hey! That means I'm not second oldest anymore..."
"Some people change.." Ha, Mack just got knocked down a place on the family totum pole.
"He was five and a half minutes older than me, yanno. You would've thought that was five and half years for the way he milked it for all his worth." Expressive roll of his eyes.
"In the world of twins that IS milkworthy."
She was an older twin, after all.
He laughed. "I wouldn't know."
"Trust me on this one." She gave his thigh a pat and.. wow. There was another brother. Dundundun!! The ominous music was effectively cued.


Life as he knew it would never be the same.

<font color="#996600" size="1">[ November 21, 2004 08:41 PM: Message edited by: incomplete addiction ]</font>