wicked little girl, kiss the boys and make them cry : genesis

[urbanchimera]

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D?velopp?

Genesis (the beginning, origin) Tate (to be cheerful) Reese
Birthdate: October 31st, 1978 -- 11:58 p.m.
Religious preference: Pagan
Profession: Ballet prima donna (professionally retired) / theatre aficionado

Distinguishable markings:
Rosary tattoo - right shoulderblade
Aries and Scorpio entwined tattoo - left inner wrist
Drama mask tattoo - left ankle
Ballerina en pointe tattoo - lower back
Band of roses tattoo - right ankle
Aries tattoo - right hip / midriff
Mended heart tattoo - base of neck
Half moon birthmark (dark in color) - inner thigh, left
Features/Build: Dark brown hair / dark brown eyes / slim build / 5'6" / 130 lbs.
Maritial Status: Single

Criminal Record:
Minor possession ( 2 counts )
Petty larceny ( 1 count )
D.U.I. ( 2 counts )
Aggravated assault ( 1 count )
Vandalism ( 3 counts )
[ Admitted to a detox center at the age of 18 ]

Prized Possessions:
Suzuki Katana
Shelby Cobra

<font color="#999999" size="1">[ April 18, 2006 11:28 PM: Message edited by: partially inclined ]</font>

[urbanchimera]

Late September, 1997

?She'll be fine, Dad.?

Tearing his gaze away from the small window viewing into the room, weary eyes were cast his daughter's way. Genesis and Eden; both from the same womb and yet so different from each other. For the briefest of moments, he tried to picture Eden in that hospital room, instead of Gen, and he couldn't put it together. ?.. what happened, Ely? How.. how could we have not known?? Both hands placed to the metal door, he leaned heavily forward onto it as Eden slid an arm around his waist; supporting physically and reassuringly. ?You know how she is. I didn't even know it was this bad..? For their entire lives, the girls had shared everything. No secrets between the sisters, even when they had to put things into code, so Catherine couldn't find out and use it against them. ?It wasn't all her fault, anyway.? For the first time since that night, when she had accompanied her father to the hospital after Gen had been admitted for physical and sexual trauma, anger seeped into the soft, dulcet tones she spoke with.

Jaw setting squarely, dark browns drifted back to the form strapped to the bed. ?I know.? Wesley. Just the thought of that boy's name made him sick to his stomach. Fist balling up, it slammed heavily into the wall next to them before he backed away from it completely. Arms crossing over her midriff, Eden just watched the display, expression guarded and studying all at the same time. Mouth opening to say something else, the words quickly died off as a violent scuffle sounded from the room. Before the nurses could abandon their stations to find the source, Eden had the door opened and was moving inside. Gen was thrasing from side to side, wrists already bleeding from chafing against the restraints they had to use on her. ?Let me off of this goddamn bed! Who the fuck do you people think you are?!?

Back arching, her head fell heavily back against the pillow as sweat already started beading on her brow. Skin was ashen -- papery white -- and accentuated by the almost black smudges under both eyes. Razor thin shoulders and arms did little to help in her futile efforts of getting off the bed. Catching sight of Eden, a hitching gasp tore at her chest; pleading eyes lifting up her sister's way. ?Ely, please tell them to let me up. I have to go... he's wa--? Before the words could even be finished, Eden grabbed her sister by the forearms. Not hard enough to hurt, but firm enough to let the other woman know she was there. ?Him?! He's why you're here, and you're wanting to go to him?! What's wrong with you, Gen?? A deluded mind did little to absorb the words, and Gen shook her head back and forth. ?You don't understand,? muttered through clenched teeth, ?Get these GODDAMN things off of me!? Venomous words were spat at one of the most loved people in her life, and browns lifted to glassily affix to hazels.

?He could've KILLED you! Which part of that don't you understand!?? All set to launch into the various reasons of why Welsey was the last thing Genesis needed, the nurses finally rushed in, hypodermic needle in hand. Catching sight of it, Gen's faced crumpled like a little girl's, tears streaming down her cheeks and dripping onto the bedding beneath. ?Please, I need to go. Please, Ely, please...? The begging was choked by sobbing, and while the injection was quickly administered into her arm, it continued until lashes began lowering. Struggling against the forced lethargy, the fingers around Eden's wrist slowly slipped off to fall to Gen's side. The younger twin was fighting her own tears, both hands going up to swipe beneath each eye as they found her father's worn form in the doorway.

?... she'll be fine, Dad.? The words didn't hold as much belief as they had only moments ago, and almost in defeat, she backed away from the bed. A brief smile was given to the nurse arranging the blanket around Gen's form, which was sadly returned. ?We'll call you if anything changes, Miss.? Nodding, she backed blindly from the room, catching Caleb's arm on the way out, and helped lead him down the hallway.

-----

Early October, 1997

?If there's anything we can do, Ms. Reese, please let me know.?

?No, Doctor, thank you.?

Forcing a smile into place, Eden reached across the desk and shook the doctor's hand, murmuring another thank you before finding her exit out of the office. Earlier that day, the Reese's had been informed that Genesis was not only having severe withdrawal symptoms, but tests had proved that she was in the beginning stages of pregnancy. The medical staff would do everything they could to ensure that the pregnancy wasn't lost, but they weren't holding out much hope for her to go full term. Wraithlike, Eden moved through the maze of corridors, weaving her way towards Gen's room. Since being informed, she'd denied any visitors, and wouldn't accept the dinner trays that were left outside her door. Even with the muddled state of her mind, Gen had counted back and done the math; it had occurred before Nigel..

?Knock, knock,? called inside the room as Eden pushed the door open, head peeking in to catch sight of her sister huddled on the bed and staring blankly at the far off wall. ?Just go away, Ely.? The lifeless tone coming from such a vibrant person .. it didn't fit. Shutting the door quietly behind her, listening for the click of the lock, slow steps took her towards the bed. ?Gen.. you have to eat. Take the vitamins the doctors give you. If you don't, the baby wi--? Dark browns swung sharply to level on the other woman. ?Die? Newsflash, Ely, it probably will anyway. Hello?? Hands splayed as if indicating the room around them. This wasn't Club Med. Situating herself carefully beside Gen, a hand went over to grasp her sister's.

?If God wills it s-- no, don't interrupt me. I know you don't believe in Him, or any of His works, but I do. And I think if this baby is meant to be, he or she will be born, but not if you're going to sit there and be a hard headed ass like you always do. This isn't about just you anymore, Genesis.? Drawing short abruptly, Eden's eyes rounded out as she realized she was borderline lecturing. Maybe that's what needed to be done. Caleb couldn't get through to Gen. Audrey sure couldn't. David didn't even try, and Catherine was ashamed to even have a sister in a place like this. ?I know our own mother wasn't a prime example of how maternal instincts and protection works, but we're not like her. You're not. This is your baby, and ... Wesley's,? the name said as if it had a bad taste. ?Eat the food, take the damn pills.?

Inhaling shakily, Eden tugged her hand back into her lap and proceeded to stand from the bed, only to have Gen's hand touch lightly at her arm. Tear-filled eyes were downcast to the blanket on the bed, and for a moment, Eden wasn't sure if Gen was talking to her, or.. herself. ?I know, I know.. but it's just.. hard..? Smiling sadly, Eden reached out to gather her sister's frail form to her. ?When has that ever stopped you, Genocide? The more difficult, the better, right?? A reassuring squeeze was given before she drew back enough to look down at the woman. ?We'll do it. I'll be here, Gen. Just do what the doctor says.?

?Don't call me, Genocide,? was returned weakly, causing Eden to smile again. This was backwards; Gen was supposed to be the one holding Eden when something was wrong, telling her it'd be all right, and brushing away the tears. Instead.. Thumbs smoothed down the sides of Gen's face, clearing away any moisture. ?Saw'right?? asked with a nudge to Gen's shoulders. ?.... saw'right,? repeated, not entirely convinced, but if Ely would be there.. saw'right.

[urbanchimera]

Mid-February, 1998

?How are you feeling today, Genesis??

The day nurse bustled into the room, rolling a tray in front of her. Glancing up from the sheet of paper in front of her, Gen glanced up to the woman -- disinterested -- before shrugging. Maintaining a cheerful smile, the tray's cover was lifted. ?Dinner time. It won't hurt to take a break from whatever it is you're writing.? In other words, eat or have it shoved down a tube in your nose. Sucking in on her lower lip, the pen was lowered and the paper in front of her was flipped over so that nothing could be read. Chair pushed back, the weight of her stomach came into view as she used the edge of the table to stand. ?Yeah, yeah.. It's Sunday, right? You Nazis are going to let me use the phone?? Glancing to the clock on the wall, another dry look was given to the nurse, who returned it. ?Of course, dear. This isn't jail.?

?No, in jail, you get yard time. You people act like I'm going to slit my wrists with a napkin at any given time.? Flicking a quick look over the food, it was ignored as she reached for the little paper cup with her vitamins. ?If you need anything else, Genesis, let me know.? Pretending like she hadn't heard a word Gen had said, Frau CheerBitch exited the room, tugging the door firmly shut behind her. Dry swallowing the pills, a roll was grabbed from the tray as she headed back to the table. Paper righted, the pen was lifted once more. Every now and then, she'd pause to take a bite of bread, pondering over her next line.

Wes,

Nobody's letting me know anything about what happened to you or where you are. The few times they've let me near a phone, I'm not even allowed to dial out. I have to give them the number to call, just so I'm not falling back on "bad habits". This place is... it sucks. The first couple of months were the hardest. It'd hurt so bad at some points, that I wished something would go wrong and I'd die.

Like Ely says, though, I have to be strong for the baby. I wish you could be here for everything. I feel like I'm gaining fifty pounds a day, but they say I've only gained fifteen. I'm at a grand total of 116 pounds! Proud of me? Considering how you were always on my case about being too thin and all. The food here is a step above dog food, but it's "nutritional". Or some shit, I don't know. When the doctors talk, I tune them out.

Dad's doing a whole lot better. The heart attack was a mild one; they said it was too much stress for him. Which translates to "Your daughter is too much stress for you." Ely comes to visit every weekend. Mother only comes once a month, and David tries to get up where he can. Catherine forgot I existed, which is fine.

I wish I could hear from you, just to know how you are. Where you are. I kind of figured jail, all things considering from that night, but... wouldn't I have needed to be there for a trial or something? I know I go through this in every letter, but it's not right. You didn't do anything wrong.. The judicial system is so fucked up.

They're supposed to be letting me out in July. Maybe I'll get a chance to mail these things to you, finally, eh? Once I get out, I'm going to do everything I can to find you. It's been so hard without you here. Some nights, I can almost feel you next to me, but when I roll over, it's.. empty. Four more months, and we'll have a little girl..

Anyway, before I get all emotional, I'm going to go eat this gruel they left, or they'll shove another tube down my nose. Not fun stuff! I guess it's always easier snorting something up, than having it shoved down. I miss you, baby.

Love, Gen

Reaching up to wipe away the tears that had fallen without her knowledge, the letter was folded in half and shoved beneath her mattress to rest with the others. Every time she mentioned Wes' name around her father, the man acted like he didn't know who she was talking about. Eden wouldn't even let her attempt to broach the subject. A sharp kick to her ribs prompted her to abandon the almost devoured roll, to move towards the rest of the tray. As sick to her stomach as the stuff made her, those little kicks made her remember what it was for.

Doctor visits twice a week, enough medication to turn an old nag into a prize winning thoroughbred, and a regular diet of protein was all to help the baby that wasn't supposed to be. Through the worst of her DTs, they figured she'd miscarriage, only to be surprised. The child inside was as determined as mother; determined to be born and live out her life, no matter the obstacles. A hand going around to rest atop the bulge, a faint smile crossed her mouth. Determined.

-----

July 8th, 1998

"The court hereby orders for the child born on June fifteenth, as of yet to be named, to be placed within the custody of Marianne and Gregory Collins as prearranged with the Department of Social Services. Ms. Reese, you are stripped of any parental rights or claims from this day forward. In the event you should want to contact the child, you'll be informed to first contact the Collins', and their lawyer, for permission. If permission is denied, and the issue is pressed to the point of harassment, you'll be jailed for no less than three months." Leaning forward across the bench, fingers twining together, the Judge met Genesis' gaze dead on. "There is no reason for me to remind you of the events leading to this decision, and my ruling is final. Am I understood?"

Chin lifting, it took a nudge from her lawyer to spark her back to life, and she nodded woodenly. "Yes sir, crystal clear." As the gavel sounded, she pushed out of her chair hard enough for it to almost topple, dark browns cutting over to the jubilant Marianne and Gregory, who were busy smiling and shaking hands with their own lawyer. Shoulders slumping, a sad smile was given to Eden when the woman walked over and slid her arm around Gen, urging her towards the back of the courtroom. "We'll figure something out." Ever the optimist, dark browns shifted over to hazels, and she shrugged. "The ruling's final. I don't blame him." The judge knew what he was doing. After all, the baby was still in NICU, and they weren't looking for her to get out any time soon.

A feeding tube had to be placed down her nose because she was too small to even attempt bottle feeding, plus a wide variance of monitors and tubes to simply sustain the life that shouldn't have been. The first time Gen had seen her, she had to be taken from the room because of hysterics. Exiting the court building, it only took a matter of moments to light a cigarette, even as her sister rolled her eyes. "Don't even start with me. They're coming to take me back to the Narcanon in about half an hour. Let a girl live." Nudging Eden with an elbow, Gen hiked up the bottom of her skirt and had a seat on the bottom step. "I don't see why Mother doesn't just sign the release forms to let you out. It's been ten months. Your program is over." Hip bumping Gen over a little, Eden sat next to her, fingers lacing over her knees.

"Because I'm an embarassment to her crystalline existance in Costa Mesa, and from what I understand, I'm on tour in Italy right now." Snorting a stream of smoke through her nose, the cherry was turned inwards as she eyed it. "Italy sure got depressing," murmured absently as browns swept the parking lot. "By the end of August you'll be out." Ever optimistic -- always -- Eden flashed a sudden, bright smile. "I received a letter from your Company the other day. Mother doesn't know about it, but.." Tugging her purse over, Ely rummaged through the thing before holding up a cream vellum envelope triumphantly. "They say if you can pass the drug test, and prove that you're clean, they'll allow you back in the corps. I think the next tour starts in October, in France." Filter clamped between her teeth, Gen reached over to tug the envelope over, pulling the thick sheet of parchment from inside.

"You're not thinking of trying to find him once you're out, are you?" The question was abrupt, almost like Eden had read her sister's mind. Rolling her shoulders into another shrug, the letter was tucked into her own pocket for safe keeping. "Thought about it," acquiesced quietly, chin lifting as eyes drifting up to the sky. "He's in jail, rotting away like he deserves. You should just leave it alone, Genesis. I mean it." Scuffing her heels on the cement, another thoughtful draw was taken from the cigarette, head ducking down and a look slid over towards Ely. "He's rotting away in jail for shooting the guy that raped me, in case you, David, Catherine, Audrey, and Father forgot. You're going to learn one day that everything that happened prior to that was my shit, not his. You can't force someone to become an addict, Eden."

"He didn't help it any, either, now did he?" Two sets of eyes glanced over to the car pulling up to the curb, and Gen tossed the burnt filter to the side as she stood. "Sometimes, you have to help yourself, Eden. I didn't want help. If he hadn't supplied it, I would've went to someone else that would've sold me something that might've been laced with poison, glass, or God knows what else. So in a way, he saved me on that level. Where's your Christian morals now, Eden? Judge lest not ye be judged. I'll see you next weekend if you come up." Leaving it at that, hands dusted off the back of the skirt as she cleared the last of the steps, nodding politely to the driver as he opened her door.

"Gen.." Pausing halfway into the vehicle, she glanced over her shoulder, brow lifted. After a long moment, Eden cleared her throat and nodded shortly. "Love you. I'll bring some junk food Saturday." Grinning, Gen tipped a salute to her sister. "Love you too, babe. Make sure you get some of those Laffy Taffy things. God, I could live off of them." With a wink, she settled down onto the car seat, eyes directed ahead as the driver scurried around to the driver seat. With little more than a wave passed between the two, the car pulled off towards the main road. Unearthing her cell from her pocket, Eden pressed a couple of numbers and brought the phone to her ear. "She's not dropping it, Dad. Do what you have to." Lips pressing into a thin line, the phone was tucked back into her pocket before she turned for her own car.

[urbanchimera]

December 24th, 2002

"Catherine, why do you have to be such a bitch?" Glancing up from the ties of her slippers, eyes rolled as the older sister crossed her arms over her chest, smirk forming on her lips. "Because I don't follow the Gospel of Genesis, I'm a bitch? Darling, the only reason I'm even here is because Mother and Father offered a free trip to France." Jaw tensing, hands brushed absently down her costume as she straightened, dark browns boring a whole through her sister. "Yeah, merry friggin' Christmas to me. You could've given the gift that keeps on giving, and stayed away. Is Ely and David here?" Shouldering past Catherine, the curtain was parted a little so she could peer out towards the crowd.

"Yes, Eden and David are out there. Who could possibly miss the premiere of Genesis Reese as Aurora, in her first televised show?!" Hands clasping together, Catherine drew in a dramatic breath; sighing as if this was the stuff her dreams were made of. The whole act dissipated with a very unladylike snort. "Shut up before I push you into the orchestra pit. Why are you even back here?" Question of the minute, lips pursed as Gen looked over her shoulder to Cat. "Father wanted someone to wish you good luck, and I wanted to meet your danseur." Faking a smile, Catherine returned the shouldering as she breezed by her sister to head back to her seat. "If you can't handle him, be sure to direct him my way, won't you?"

Swiping a thumb along the lower ridge of her lip, Gen took a step back and gestured to the wings. "Bebe, women like you are the reason the poor guy turned gay. I'll see you after the show." Plastic smile flashed, a deep breath was inhaled as she grasped the barre-- shaky nod to Julian as he appeared at her elbow. "Ready, ami?" asked humorously as he slung an arm around her. "I'm a prima, sweetheart. We're always ready." Trying to sound imperious, her laughter shot the illusion to hell as they moved to take their places. Grinning smugly at Catherine, who was still standing near the curtain, glaring her way, Gen's chin lifted as the producer announced they had five minutes until show time.

( One week later )

The phone ringing shrilly caused Gen to groan, arm tucked to her side as she rolled over and slapped around the nightstand for the receiver. Bringing the plastic to her ear, fingers pushed her hair out of her face as she eyed the clock. 3:14 in the morning... Somebody better be dead... "What?" Voice husky, she thumped back down against her pillows as David began calmly talking. "Catherine's dead, Genny. Somebody hit her car." Tongue darting out to wet her lips, she grunted a laugh before grabbing her cigarettes and a lighter. "You can tell her this really isn't a funny way to get back at me for the Julian thing."

Head tilting as the cigarette was lit, smoke was exhaled through her nose as David started up again. "No, Gen. She's dead. There was a New Years Eve party at her firm, and on the way home, a drunk driver hit her head on. The police said the other person was going so fast, it nudged her car over the guard railing and onto the jetties below." Sitting up straight, her expression leveled out to stone. "David.." It felt like someone was sitting on her chest, impairing her breathing. Cigarette ground out just as quickly as it was lit, legs swung over the edge of the bed. "Does Eden know? How's Father taking it? Has Audrey been sedated yet?" The last question was as dry as a desert, and David disregarded it. "Eden's already on her way here, and Caleb locked himself in his office. I think you need to get here as fast as you can. You know how he is."

Yes, she knew how he was. He'd lock himself in that office until the funeral with nothing but a decanter of Scotch and his grief. "It'll take me a good ten plus hours to get there, and that's if I can get a seat on the next plane to the States." Flinging open her suitcase while talking, she was already stuffing clothes into it haphazardly. "Just let him know I'm on my way, David. I'm sure Audrey will have the funeral arrangements done before anyone can even think to help. Tell Eden to hold on until I get there." There hadn't been any love lost between the three sisters, but Ely was a sensitive soul. Anyone dying, especially family, always tore her apart. "Done and done, love. Give me a ring when you get to the Mesa, and I'll send a car around for you."

Nodding her agreement, it took a good minute before she realized he couldn't see her. "Yeah, that's fine. I'll see you when I get there, love you." Clicking the locks shut on the suitcase, it was slid to the floor as she started in on the second. "Love you too, I'll be waiting for your call." Disconnecting on both ends, the packing ceased as she stared at the far wall. Disbelief, numbness, and a modicum of grief was starting to sink in. Dead... That was sort of permanent. The last time she'd gone back to Costa Mesa had been when Kate had died. Shock was starting to settle in, and it took a moment to remember what she was doing. Trips back home were always so fun.

Maybe this time she could get a straight answer out of the P.I. she hired all those years ago.

[urbanchimera]

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Present day

There's a woman standing at her crossroads,
knowing that it's too late.
She knows he's out there somewhere,
and for years she sits and waits.
She's got no kind of life now,
and time goes by so slow.

Having forgone booking a church for their nuptials, considering both Genesis and Wesley weren't Christians, a section of beach not far from her parents' house was reserved for the wedding. Timing everything so that it would be low tide, a beautiful white archway was constructed facing the ocean, so that when the couple exchanged their vows, they'd be able to not only focus on each other, but the wide expanse of the Pacific just a few feet away. A sort of symbol of eternity and longevity-- no matter what was put in their way, nothing could keep them apart. Just as nothing could stop the ocean from ebbing.

Her head knows he's not coming back,
but her heart can't let him go.
She remembers every detail,
every line upon his face.
And when she holds his photograph,
her fingertips start to trace.

The weather couldn't have been more perfect; temperature neither hot nor cold, and only the barest of breezes floated over the guests. Tucked away behind the jetties, Gen flashed a nervous smile up to her father as he patted her arm. "About ready?" was asked quietly, and she simply gave a nod. She'd been ready for this since she was eighteen, and now -- nine years later -- it was finally becoming a reality.

She's looking for forgiveness
in the bottom of a glass.
Uncertain about her future,
still running from the past.
Now I've watched my heaven turn into hell,
if he was hurting inside, I couldn't tell.

Fingers tightening in a death grip around the bouquet of orchids, her free hand dropped to brush lightly at the pale blue fabric of her dress. Her wedding dress. As requested from Wesley -- and herself -- Audrey hadn't been invited; something the older woman was grateful for. Gen's mother didn't simply dislike Wes. She hated his entire being, and would've gladly ended his life given half the chance. A sharp breath inhaled through her nose when the faint strains of classical music started up, dark browns dropped to rest on the small girl standing beside her. Aly was beautiful in her white dress-- hair done up in ringlets with pale pink tea roses pinned throughout the upsweep. Gen herself had declined a veil of any sorts, and instead had opted for a wreath of the same roses her daughter was wearing, encircling the short, mahogany strands.

Like a train derailed running off the tracks,
he's gone forever, he ain't never coming back.
Tell me what to say, tell me what to do..
Well I'm no good without you baby,
and it takes two, but I'm not through loving you.

Without another word, a half smile was flashed to her father as he began to lead her forward, only to stop abruptly as one of her bridesmaids -- a friend from the ballet company they co-owned -- rushed over to where they were. Cheeks were stained a dark red, and the look in Julie's eyes caused a knot of worry to tense over Gen's frame. "What's wrong?" asked simply, because there was no way any good news could come of this. Eyes dropping to the sand at their feet, Jules shook her head slowly and gestured around absently with nervous hands. "He.. he's not here."

There's a woman standing in a cold house,
staring down a long dark hall.
Looking down at a woman in the mirror,
hanging there on her wall.

In that instant, the whole world stopped turning. Her own eyes widening in disbelief, Gen shook her head and forced a terse laugh. "Very funny, Jay. You have really bad timing." Denial was quick to cling to. Wes wouldn't abandon her on their wedding day. He just .. wouldn't. Hands dropping to hike up the airy skirt of her dress, the flowers were dropped to the ground as she rounded the corner of the jetty-- gaze searching and intent as it swept over the few people they'd invited, the priest, and the empty space where Wesley was supposed to be standing.

If she could find the words to make it right,
she'd tell him about a million times.
And put out that old flame still burning bright,
like a wildfire in the night.

Comprehension ceased, and for the longest time, she stood there with her mouth slightly agape. "No, this is..." This was wrong. This wasn't supposed to be happening. Aly hurried over to where Gen was standing, her own eyes filling with confusion. "Gen, where's he at? Today's the day right? He sho--" A sharp motion of fingers cutting through the air stopped the barrage of questions that was just gearing up, and very slowly, the breath she didn't realize she'd been holding was exhaled. He wasn't coming.

Now I've watched my heaven turn into hell,
if he was hurting inside, I couldn't tell.

The realization hit like a slug to the chest, and it nearly staggered her backwards. Nine years.. Eight years of being apart. Forced away from each other while he was locked in that prison. While she was locked in Narcanon. Forced to have their daughter and give her away in the next instant, while at the same time, having no idea where he was, and if he was alright. All those years of worrying about him, and then finally .. finally coming together again as it was meant to be .. And he wasn't coming. Chin lifting with a sense of forced pride -- the only thing stopping her from breaking down completely -- she turned on her heel blindly and pushed past her father, who had come up behind her to see for himself.

Like a train derailed running off the tracks,
he's gone forever, he ain't never coming back.
Tell me what to say, tell me what to do..

"Tell them .. tell them to enjoy the food." With those simple words thrown over her shoulder, skirt was hiked up a little more to help in her efforts to walk calmly away from the beach. Posture rigid, and head held high, the people staring after her in pity and concern were only shown what she didn't have. Strength and understanding-- two things that were most definitely on the other end of the spectrum of what she was really feeling. A prima, a performer, they'd only see what she allowed.

Well I'm no good without you baby,
and it takes two, but I'm not through loving you.

Once the entire scene was left to wash away in the impending tide that lapped around the ankles of everyone as they stood from their chairs, did the tears begin to fall. Staining her cheeks in rivers of fire, and dropping down to leave trails on pale silk. No letter, no call, no end-all.. It seemed that forever ago -- however unintentionally -- that's how she had left him. And now, on what was to be the most important day of their lives, he had left behind the shell of the woman he had once proclaimed a never ending and infinite love for.

( fair warning )

[urbanchimera]

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From lashes to ashes,
and from lust to dust.
In your sweetest torment,
I'm lost.
And no heaven can help us.
Ready, willing and able to lose it all.
For a kiss so fatal and so worn.

Oh it's heartache every moment,
from the start 'til the end.
It's heartache every moment with you.
Deeper into our heavenly suffering,
our fragile souls are falling.
It's heartache every moment,
baby with you.

And we sense the danger,
but don't wanna give up.
'Cause there's no smile of an angel
without the wrath of god.

Oh it's heartache every moment,
from the start 'til the end.
It's heartache every moment with you.
Deeper into our heavenly suffering,
our fragile souls are falling.
It's heartache every moment, baby with you.
My darling with you

From lashes to ashes,
and from lust to dust.
In your sweetest torment,
I am lost.
And we sense the danger,
but don't wanna give up.

( HIM )

[urbanchimera]

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We agreed that it was over,
now the lines have all been drawn.
The vows we made began to fade,
but now they're gone.
I put your pictures in a shoe box,
and my gold ring in a drawer.
I'm not supposed to love you anymore.

The day she walked away from the beach, with all of her hopes and dreams left to drift away like flotsam on the ocean, seemed like some sort of surreal nightmare. When she'd think back on it, a burning started deep in the pit of her stomach, only to flare up and pierce straight through her heart. The pain was almost enough to cripple, and for weeks, Genesis couldn't muster up the want to leave her room. Eating was a rare event, and getting dressed seemed beyond the grasp of her capability. Every now and then, Aly would show up with her adopted parents, just to see how she was doing, and it was only then that she could summon any sort of energy.

Arabesque was doing well enough under the management of her co-workers, and the only time she voiced any sort of opinion on the running of the business was when they called her for a tie-breaker vote. She just .. didn't care. For eight years, she had spent the entire time wondering where he had been. Missing him so much, that it seemed like nothing else would ever matter. Wanting to tell him things, only to be faced with night after night of empty rooms and now the same cycle was repeating itself. The only difference was-- last time, they'd been ripped apart from each other. This time, he had voluntarily walked away.

Now everyone says they're jealous,
of this freedom that I've found.
If they were me,
they would be out on the town.
And they say they can't imagine,
what on earth I'm waiting for.
I'm not supposed to love you anymore.

Rolling over onto her side, on the bed, a hand reached out to trail along the gilt edge of the picture frame resting on the nightstand, mouth tucking down at the corners in an effort to .. just not cry. She'd shed so many tears, that it seemed there could be nothing left within her to spill over, but the tell-tale burning at the back of her nose started up. Dragging the picture over to her, on the bed, she shifted to her back again, and held it above her face-- fingertips tracing over the image of him, lovingly. All of the bullshit they'd been through since he'd returned, it was all worth it for the brief moments of happiness they'd found in each other's arms. Why it had been thrown away, the thought itched at the back of her mind like the need for a hit.

Expression crumpling, the picture was tossed aside to the floor-- legs following shortly after as she swung herself upright. Hands in front of her, she reached over to thumb at the claddagh ring still on her finger. An odd sort of anger flared to life in the short moments spent staring at the silver, and with a muffled scream, it was torn from its resting place and thrown across the room, to rebound off of the wall. The rage was a new feeling, replacing the sadness and despair, and while it lasted, she used it as a driving force to suddenly blaze to her feet. The nightstand was overturned, followed shortly by more pictures being thrown around. A whirlwind of destruction, hands swept brusquely over the top of her dresser, scattering perfume bottles, letters of sympathy, and other miscellanies to the floor.

Oh, I shouldn't care or wonder where and how you are.
But I can't hide this hurt inside my broken heart.
I'm fighting back emotions that I've never fought before,
because I'm not supposed to love you anymore.

Coming to a stop, amid the white flurry of paper and the overpowering scent of wildflowers wafting up from the broken bottles, fingers went up to tangle in the scruff of hair at the base of her neck-- shoulders rising and falling heavily as she fought for control. Tears had started somewhere during the destruction, and with a low moan, she dropped to her knees. Sobs ripped through her small frame with enough intensity to cause a jolt of pain through her chest, and she blindly reached for the bottom drawer of her dresser. Clothing tossed over shoulders, nails scraped on the wood of the bottom before she found what had been sought after. The small bag was removed, and it didn't take long to literally crawl back to the edge of the bed.

The picture of Wesley she had thrown down was picked up again, and before thought could be kicked started to warn her about what she was doing, the contents of the bag were dumped onto the glass. Pressing a finger to the side of her nose, the messily arranged line was snorted up quickly, and in the moments that followed, she fell back against the footboard with the heel of her palm pressed to her right eye. Years of being clean thrown away in the span of a second, the burn only proved to remind her of bad this was. Residue wiped away with the same palm, knees were drawn up to her chest, and a blank look was affixed to the far window.

The sun rising served to find her slumped over in what looked to be an uncomfortable position-- chin resting on her shoulder and arms lifelessly hanging at her sides. Shallow breathing proved the sight wrong, in the regards that she was indeed alive, but something had snapped inside of Genesis that she didn't think could be repaired again. For now, the band-aid she chose to use -- back to the blow -- would have to serve for a minor fix, literally.

Now I'm writing you this letter,
and it's killing me tonight,
that I agreed when you believed it wasn't right,
and I couldn't sleep up on the bed,
so I'm down here on the floor.
Well, I'm not supposed to love you anymore.

( b. white )