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Thread: speaking in tongues

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    HB Forum Owner rottrevore's Avatar
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    <blockquote><p align=justify>this is for me, nikki renea. an attempt to reign in the confusion and sort through my web of anxiety and hysteria. or maybe it's an attempt to eject all of that from me. so in other words i will babble and rant in this thread, sporatically. it may be about nothing in particular or mayhaps an end of the world crisis type deal. you never know which side of the seesaw i'm on, really.

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    HB Forum Owner rottrevore's Avatar
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    <blockquote> <p align=justify>i remember when drugs were something just in my mind, when i only wrote about them. it didnt exist anywhere in my life besides prose. years flew by and i found myself immersed in a subculture that kills every day. i cant count how many days i spent inside a room playing scategories, coloring those velvet posters, inside of walmart in the office section, or speeding down airport boulevard delivering packages.

    <p align=justify>years have flown by again and im a regular fucking jane. i work full time for an attorney, there are bills being paid and bills that need to be paid. my life is boring now.. mundane. i look foward to tax return time. my friends consist of coworkers and a select few. how i ended up on the "right track" i really dont know.. maybe it was the arrest, being put in jail, or drug court. my feelings today are so bittersweet. i miss being nonchalant about putting raging chemicals inside my organs, not worrying about getting fat, i long for the excitement of being a young, dumb girl sometimes. but honestly, i wouldnt take back anything, go back to that stage in my life.

    <p align=justify>no one in my life really knows how i used to be. i've attempted tell people stories of back then and deep down, i think they dont believe me. i think it's hysterical. besides, i always knew i had the best disguise.

    <font color="#8d8c4d" size="1">[ November 26, 2008 05:25 PM: Message edited by: rottrevore ]</font>

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