Haysi Quiz Bowl Press Release (No joke)

[Stormy_Waters]

AP - Haysi, Virginia - November 13, 2003

"Duck!"
"Duck!"
"Goose!"

What does this game have to do with anything? Easy:

Quiz Bowl.

Haysi Quiz Bowl.

Fresh off a Black Diamond District regular season championship and a win in the Region D tournament, it's now back to the grind as a new season approaches.

But still memories of last season lingered. When asked of their performance in last season's regional after dominating the regular season the entire team quickly responded with "Hey! At least we did win one game!"

Today at the fourth practice, senior captain Stephen Marney put on a show as he dominated both matches leading the red team to victory over the yellow each time.

After his impressive performance Marney was heard to comment, "It's all about strategy and thumb mass. And knowing the answers to the questions doesn't hurt either. We might need to tweek with our strategy of saying the names of our team members to questions we don't know. But who knows?, maybe it'll pay off. It's all up in the air until Regional tournament time."

Captain Marney appeared to be a little lax at times when other team members blurted out incoherent answers. When asked about enforcing his power on his teammates Marney responded, "Maybe it'll throw the other team off."

We moved on to speak with co-captain Charles Anderson between bites. Still working on his Jared Fogle-like contract with Subway he appears to be a very intimidating Quiz Bowler. When asked how his deal with Subway was going Charles replied, "With as many pizza subs as I've eaten, I bet I've paid for Jared's liposuction three, maybe four times!!!" But when asked about why he didn't follow through with his Subway sponsorship last season he responded with, "Maybe that was a bad idea. Those Subway hats are tough to get you're hands on. I think this season I'll shop around for a Subway uniform on Ebay. Maybe that will be the difference this year."

Suddenly a cheer erupted, and not knowing which one (Go Bundy quickly came to mind) it started slow but then became clear:

"Blades of Vengeance!"

"OOOOOHHH!"

Meanwhile in the hamlet of Haysi it seems that communism and maybe even the Ice Age is making a come back as ushankas are all the rage.

On the other hand things look bright for Haysi Quiz Bowl. The inevitable clashes with Honaker were looming on everyone's mind. Captain-in-training Jared Owens was quoted as saying, "Yeah, more than likely."

Expecting nothing less than a third straight Region D tournament appearance the team was asked what their strategy was going to be this time around, especially since the BDD hosts. The most defining answer was "Definitely more laps around the track. We just couldn't get warmed up enough last year in Pound. Maybe we should've tried more stretching."

Well, thanks for reading and we hope to shake some things up and turn some heads in the BDD this upcoming season.

This is Seaman Counts, at Haysi "practice", signing off.

[Godzillaness]

It's especially gay since he erroneously lists Peanut from Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law as "Birdboy". "Birdboy" come on do you even watch the show?

Other Errors include:
Mike Shinoda is written Mike Shinodra
Conan O'Brien is written as Conan O'Brian
Saruman is written as Sauruman the White
ALL THE WAY TO THE BIZNACK instead of all the way to the Bizank.
Police ChEIf instead of Police Chief

Ok I'm tired of pointing out your mistakes, you'd think the captain of an academic team could at least spell Chief right, sheesh.

[gobigred]

why did you do that stormy water are you amazed by the haysi quiz bowl just having fun by acting stupid

why do you care one bit? it has nothing to do with you

[Godzillaness]

Or maybe his hatred for Haysi Scholastic Bowl has nothing to do with you Gobigred, just some food for thought.

[kingb007]

why do you hate haysi's quiz bowl team so much?

[Stormy_Waters]

For me it's not really a hate, it's more of a bore. Beating a team 8 times in 2 years is really taking its toll.

[Godzillaness]

Because it's fun?

[Stormy_Waters]

Actually I think Twin Valley has a better winning percentage against Honaker than Haysi does in the past 2 years.

[gobigred]

i still dont understand why you all have to put haysi down do you jsut have no other life than to sit on here talk about haysi quiz bowl it isnt even a sport it is trivia

[kingb007]

well its obvious to me that you both are from honaker