"I'm going to have my share of these (winning runs already across the plate as your outfielder falls on his butt making the game ending catch on the warning track), and my share of ones where I cruise. What you have to do is get three outs anyway you can."

If you can meet the above criteria, you can be the Cleveland Indians closer.

"If you go out there and go one-two-three, everyone is going to be expecting that all the time. Now if you go out there and go through one of these again, everyone isn't saying what's going on? Just get your cigarettes ready, that's all."

If you can also meet the make the fans smoke a pack of cigarettes while you "close" rule,
a multi-year contract awaits you.

Help Wanted, Indians Closer, if you can let the other team get closer and closer, and make it last a good long time, do we have a job for you!

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