Today I dropped a loaf behind an old lady's shed.

**DC Smackmaster** · October 11th, 2001, 02:29 AM

I was doing some bush-trimming/yard-cleanup type work for a little old lady today. It was just after lunch and I was jammin thru some Ivy with the hedge-trimmers when I felt the unmistakeable body-lock that occurs only when a rogue 10inch growler breaks free and rams into the back of your asshole.

Quickly, I scanned the backyard for cover. A small shed lay quaintly in the corner of the yard.

I did the green apple quick step over to my truck and grabbed some napkins from the glove. I scrurried behind the fence and got in positon. I dropped Smackie (what? you don't name yours??!!) with one mighty flex of my shitting-muscles.

I neatly tucked my turd and ass-wipe under the Ivy and sailed back into the the joy that is my life.

Out.

Oh, and then this other time, I was a plumber's helper, I was working with this guy who liked to continually run my ass out to the truck for tools rather than get what we freakin needed from the beginning. Anyhoo, one day I was tired of this bitch and had to take a shit anyways. I grabbed a small cardboard box and retreated to the basement (new construction/no bathrooms) to bring my dastardly plan into fruition. Ever so gently I placed a log in the box using my anus.

I wrote our company name on the box and placed it on the front door of the house and went back to work. At the end of the day I watched as he noticed the box and bent over to pick it up. I was about to blow. I was laughing my fukking ass off inside knowing that he was about to come face to face with my turd!!!!

He opened the box and his head jerked back violently. I exploded! snot and spit laughter! I flew back to the shop and told everyone about my handi-work, and then clocked-out and got the hell out of there before he got back.

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**Gene Patton** · October 11th, 2001, 02:35 AM

Good post.. but as long as you use the word "quaintly" in your stories you are confusing your audience... You're no Jack London.

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**DC Smackmaster** · October 11th, 2001, 02:38 AM

well you're no Hot_Carl!

pretty good impersonation though!

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[This message has been edited by DC Smackmaster (edited October 10, 2001).]

**Dickie Thon** · October 11th, 2001, 02:40 AM

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by DC Smackmaster:
I was doing some bush-trimming for a little old lady today.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

you sick fucker

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Never be afraid to lay down a sac bunt

**Norman Broke Ass** · October 11th, 2001, 02:44 AM

Should have stolen the food out of the fridge in her shed.

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turn out the lights, the party's over

**PrimeX** · October 11th, 2001, 02:47 AM

D.C. is this is a true story, then rack your stool session! If not, then get rid of this chat shit, it's screwing up the board! forums

By the way, I hope you accept this olive branch I extend to you in this time of war between the old school girls..Rack? You accept?

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**F. Lee Bailey** · October 11th, 2001, 02:48 AM

Bwahahahahaha that was hilarious.

When I was working my way thru school I got a job as a roustabout in a refinery one summer.

There was this one big dumb fucker named Chub that worked there. When I started working there, myself and other people noticed stuff disappearing from our lunches. Someone told us that Chub never brought a lunch to work, he would just go thru the lunch buckets and help himself when no one was around.

One day towards the end of summer Chub came in with a brand new shiny silver lunch bucket. Complete with food. Some oldtimer mentioned that was the first time in Chub's tenure that he brought a lunch.

Anyway at lunchtime, Chub opened up his pail, his lunch was gone ... and in it's place was a 10" tapered log, perfectly nestled inside.

Up until now, I always wondered was responsible, thanks for clearing that up.

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**DC Smackmaster** · October 11th, 2001, 02:55 AM

Prime, sure...but I don't know what yer talking about???

Nice one F.Lee!!

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**Harsh** · October 11th, 2001, 04:04 AM

Another Epic shot From DC!!!

I too have found myself in a few "situations" that needed quick thinking and resolution to a critical evacuation!! I can relate to this situation and subsequently will Be RACKING this fucking thread!!

Now Please excuse me while I go "NAIL" the OL in the FUCKING FRONT YARD!!

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Finish Line Smack

TSTEC