I was so poor growing up...If I wasn't born a boy....I'd have
nothing to play with.
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A girl phoned me the other day and said "Come on over, there's
nobody home."
I went over. Nobody was home.
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During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the
other night she called me from a hotel.
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One day as I came home early from work .... I saw a guy jogging
naked.
I said to the guy... "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?" He
said, "Because you came home early."
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Its been a rough day. I got up this morning ... put on a shirt
and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, and the handle came
off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.
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I was such an ugly kid........When I played in the sandbox the
cat kept covering me up.
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I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a
toaster and a radio.
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I was such an ugly baby...My mother never breast fed me. She
told me that she only liked me as a friend.
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I'm so ugly...My father carries around the kid's picture that
came with his wallet.
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When I was born ... the doctor came out to the waiting room and
said to my father........I'm very sorry......We did everything we
could......But he pulled through.
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I'm so ugly...My mother had morning sickness... AFTER I was
born.
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I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my
finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
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My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.
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I'm so ugly...I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how
big I'd get.
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I went to see my doctor. "Doctor, every morning when I get up
and look in the mirror... I feel like throwing up; What's wrong with me?"
He said "I don't know but your eyesight is perfect."
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I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping
pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.