Who Are U Now, And Who Was You Then?

**Beautiful~Mistake** · September 29th, 2005, 01:57 PM

okay well i don't know half the people ya talkin about..
but
i went by ohhh.. paige420.. or revy's finest.. pollywog.. i don't even remember..
i was like.. 14, 15.. could have even been 13.. but i was 16 the entire time.. [img]wink.gif[/img]
i lived in an abusive home, i was almost at the height of my expiremental drug phase; basically i was your average adolescent..
i was lost, scared and put up a damn good front.. i was trying to grow up wayy too fast..
the people i met there, and love, i still have around.. sometimes not a smuch as i'd like to.. but i know where they are.. and when the urge hits me.. i find them, still..
i was in a dark, dark place.. victim of my own hell, i created suffering for myself because it's all i knew.. i've cried on the shoulders of so many people here..
and a lot of you have become the family that i never had.. the lovers i always wanted, the friends i could only dream of.. even the people i loathe the most..
i think if it hadn't have been for people like you.. i wouldn't have had the courage to run away.. to start over.. to clean up.. and to stand up for myself..

now i'm almost 20..
and i have the strength to fight.. my r/t knows i won't be abused.. i'm semi independent, but what do ya want for 19... i still have my moments.. i'm clean.. it doesn't seem like much, but when ya think about it..
i think of all the people in my life,
the people here have watched me grow the most
and some of them have had the biggest impact on that.. smiles.. you know who you are..
i'm still lost.. i still find that dark place, more often than not, actually..
but now i know that it's true.. for every cloud really does have a silver lining..
most days i like to think of myself as grown up.. but watching some of the people here, i know i have so much further to go, yet.. and i'm willing to wait..
because hey.. i'm only 19.. and i have sooo.. so much more to go, yet.. and the people who loved me when i couldn't do it myself, i have to thank for me being here today..

wow.. i'm like teary eyed.. *L

it's funny.. how people on the other side of the world you've never met, you could love so much, and could have such an impact on your life..

**Father Dave** · September 29th, 2005, 02:25 PM

...i usta be taller... [img]graemlins/wonder.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/sure.gif[/img] [img]redface.gif[/img]

[ September 29, 2005 11:26 AM: Message edited by: Father Dave ]

**Tee Ehn** · September 29th, 2005, 09:58 PM

yah i usta call 911 on the private line too but i don't really remember any details LOL

Myra!!!!!!*smooch

Dave!!!!!! *God Bless you

[img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img]

**Graciebaybe** · September 29th, 2005, 11:43 PM

and you said tee where are you, i said im on the phone walking toward your crazy ass.

Yer such a damn nut *L* I lurve you hammy!!!

Oh give ole FlirtAngel my love to......*LMaO*

**Graciebaybe** · September 29th, 2005, 11:44 PM

and you said tee where are you, i said im on the phone walking toward your crazy ass.

Yer such a damn nut *L* I lurve you hammy!!!

Oh give ole FlirtAngel my love to......*LMaO*

**Tee Ehn** · September 30th, 2005, 01:24 AM

k, what about zinger? dontchu miss him? LOL

you stuttered gracie. [img]eek.gif[/img]

**Snow Kitten** · October 1st, 2005, 04:02 AM

Who I once was,
Was a charter you see,
Playing a part,
Pleasing every body, but me.
I was good at smiling,
Even when I was crying.
I was good at saying I?m fine,
Even when I felt like dieing.

I?m now the person I want to be,
I smile when I?m happy,
Get pissed when I?m not,
Tell people what I think,
Without giving it thought!
It sure doesn?t take as much energy,
Being the person, I want to be.

Snow
Oct.1, 2005

**Father Dave** · October 1st, 2005, 04:10 AM

i usta be smaller... [img]graemlins/sure.gif[/img] [img]redface.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/wonder.gif[/img]

**2CUTE** · October 4th, 2005, 05:36 PM

First, let me start by saying that I love this topic!

I've always been 2CUTE, although I wish I could change it without having to explain 20 times who I am (2CUTE just doesnt have the same ring after you've hit 30).

I was married when I started going to the partyhouse, I wouldn't say exactly unhappy, but he did what he wanted, and we had our own separate lives that I just dealt with. I'm now divorced, and have finally met a man who I'm totally in love with, and who loves me back, and more importantly, he knows my worth! Would I be at the same point in my life without the Partyhouse? I'm sure I would, but I loved the great times we all had. I have met so many wonderful people, even in person...Judy, Deb, Lily, Mike, Cody. (judy..am I not wild and crazy) I'm getting ready to move, so I'm positive I'll be spending alot of weekends with my girl Tee..and I cant wait!

I think the biggest changes were, I'm alot stronger than I was. I'm alot more successful now, but I did that on my own, I'm grown up, more mature. I miss the pool alot some days, other days, not so much. I still talk to most of the people who I met there.