Married

Cheating....I guess the best definition I know is something my mom always use to tell me. My mom is very old fasioned and a real southern lady. Her definition of cheating is: ANYTHING that you would not want your parnter/spouse/significant other/husband/wife....whoever doing with or to someone else. If you are doing it...think how it would make the other feel. If you KNOW the person you are with really well....and you should if you love them....if you know they wouldn't want you to do it..or even if it would make them uncomfortable...then it's cheating. Now I haven't always lived with this rule...and God knows I know I have been wrong many times. But the man I'm with now, there is NOTHING I would do to hurt his pride or hurt his heart.
My mom always told me...think how you would feel if you saw your partner doing what you are doing or if you feel in your heart that what you are doing is wrong or even have to question it...then it's wrong.
That's just my opinion. I mean shit, I had to put up with my ex-husband kissing women in front of me while we were still married.
I think cheating is anything you would not want your partner doing to you. I live by..."How would you feel"??
Kissing the other sex....is that cheating??? I think if your man or woman is with you and you two run into a friend of the opposite sex and your partner knows you are close firends with them and he/she is comfortable with them being a close friend...then a hug or a kiss on the cheek is fine and ok. Anything other than that is highly questionable.

I have found out that nothing will kill a reltionship quicker than distrust,secrets and lies in a reltionship. If there is room in a reltionship for even one secret or one lie...then there is room for temptation to come in. That's just my opinion.
My boyfriend Rich and I are best friends. I tell him everything. I don't keep anything from him. I don't keep any secret from him. we talk about everything. I go through this relationship with total trust and total communication. Let's face it...if you don't have communication and trust in a relationship, then there is something wrong.
Communication and trust are the 2 most important crucial things in a realtionship.

Exactly Wiqued! And once you bruise a man OR a WOMAN's pride, and you tear away their trust, you will never get it back. IF you do infact get it back...you will still alaways wonder if they are truly changed or not or if they are still up to no good. My point is...even if you do get the trust back, it's not the same and it's never again complete trust.

My question is...if you are so in love with someone and you say you really love them....why would you want to cheat? Why would you want to lose their trust? Why would you want to ruin a good relatonship with something like that anyway??

Good point, I think it's heart over matter. Our heart wants to believe people can change and we want to allow an opportunity of redemption, but our brain knows we will never trust again... so we forgive feeling its the right thing to do, meanwhile always looking for the failure and eventually the smallest issue will ultimately end the relationship.

Why do people cheat? Many reasons. But I feel in all cases its a level selfishishness & lack of courage. Wanting it all at any expense and never having the guts or being scared to end something your not happy with.

But maybe thats just me.

Wiqued I think your exactly right. You have just decribed the last eight years of my life. My ex cheated a few times cause he was selfish and stupid and I was dumb enough to always forgive cause I didn't have the courage to end the marriage and I always thought he would change. When I finally opened my eyes and saw him for what he was and that he would never be different I was able to move on. Best decision I ever made!

No Trust - You have NO relationship

Cheating - Sharing something intimate with someone your NOT suppose to be sharing it with.

To me its pretty clear.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face=" Arial,Tekton,">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor="#DDDDDD"><font size=2 face=" Arial,Tekton,">Originally posted by The Archangel:
But then, I'm not married nor have I ever been in a truly committed relationship. So what the fuck do I know?</font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>

HMMMMmmmm....I could honestly write a book on this quote....each and every line of it, with examples too.

so far i've stayed away from this topic only because of what my heart is dealing with and well, if my cup is full in rt then im not overspilling it on this one....but teej...ill give you just a "hmm" on that one.