Canadian humor

[CanadianGirl]

You know you're Canadian if:
1. You stand in "line-ups" at the movie, not lines

2. You're not offended by the term "Homo Milk"

3. You understand the sentence, "Could you please pass me a serviette, I just spilled my poutine."

4. You eat chocolate bars instead of candy bars.

5. You drink pop, not soda

6. You know what it means to be on pogey

7. You know that a mickey and a few 2-4's mean "Party at the campground, eh?!"

8. You can drink legally while still a teen

9. You talk about weather with strangera and friends alike.

10. You don't know or care about the fuss with Cuba, it's just a cheap place to travel with good cigars and no Americans.

11. When there is a social problem you turn to your gov't to fix it instead of telling them to stay out of it.

12. You're not sure if the leader of your nation has EVER had sex and you don't WANT to know if he has!

13. You get milk in bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs.

14. Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway.

15. You drive on a highway, not a freeway

16. You know what a Robertson screwdriver is

17. You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers

18. You know that Thrills are something to chew and that they "taste like soap"

19. You know that Mounties "don't always look like that"

20. You dismiss all beers under 6% as "for children and the elderly"

21. You know the Friendly Giant isn't a vegetable product line

22. You know that Casey and Finnegan are not a Celtic musical group.

23. You participated in "Participaction"

24. You have an Inuit carving by your bedside with the rationale, "What's good enough protection for the Prime Minister is good enough for me."

25. You wonder why there isn't a $5 coin yet

26. Unlike any international assassin/terrorist/spy in the world you don't possess a Canadian passport

27. You use a red pen in your non-Canadian textbooks and fill in the missing 'u's from labor, honor, and color

28. You know the french equivalents of "free", "prize" and "no sugar added" thanks to your extensive education in bilingual cereal packaging.

29. You are excited everytime an American tv show mentions Canada

30. You make a mental note to talk about it at work the next day

31. You can do all the hand actions to Sharon, Lois and Bram's "Skin-a-ma-rinky-dinky-doo" opus

32. You can eat more than one maple sugar candy without feeling nauseous

33. You were sad when "The Beachcombers" were taken off the air(Even if you didn't watch it!)

34. You know what a toque is

35. You have some momento of Bob and Doug

36. You know that Toronto is not a province

37. You never miss "Coach's Corner"

38. Back bacon is one of your favorite food groups

[~lily~]

Hi CG
I got that one in my email also...here's another cute one I got:

1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path.

4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It.

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!

6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroid's

7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick

8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.

9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko.
11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk
12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.

13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.

14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.
15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.
17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.

19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.

21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.

22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer.

[~lily~]

Yet another favorite!


An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up.
The doctor asked him how he was feeling and the 80-year-old said "Things are great and I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. So what do you think about that?"
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began. "I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was setting off hunting, he was in a bit of a hurry and accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun.
As he neared a lake he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge. He realised he'd left his gun at home and so couldn't shoot the magnificent creature but out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it were his favourite hunting rifle and went 'bang,bang'. Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead.
Now, what do you think of that?" asked the doctor.
The 80-year-old said, "If you ask me, I'd say somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver."
The doctor replied, "My point exactly".

[CanadianGirl]

~lily~ *hugs*...hope everything is going well with you girl...i was scared that your board was gonna be deleted and i dont want that cuz this board has too much memories on here, so i'm trying to keep it going as well as others *L [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img]

[~lily~]

Thanks CG
Between work and school, I don't have much time on my hands anymore, let alone a social life *L*

I appreciate the effort. I think about you all and hope you all have a great Christmas if I don't see you
Please tell Amanda I said hello, we missed hooking up this summer while they were up here camping.
Talk soon
*HUGS*

[CanadianGirl]

no problem at all [img]smile.gif[/img] ..your welcome...I know *sigh* i was hoping to come up there this summer, but i was prego and i was having ALOT of problems in my pregnancy, so it would of been impossible for me to of come up this summer...maybe next summer [img]smile.gif[/img] we can ALL hook up...It would be nice to meet YOU and the others again..I have alot of fun when im up there even though Jeepers always picks on me [img]tongue.gif[/img] *L..I will do tell Amanda hello for YOU [img]smile.gif[/img] *hugs*

[CanadianGirl]

oh i dont think i showed you a pic of MY miracle baby [img]smile.gif[/img]



his name is Tanner and he'll be 7 months on the 4th of December

<font color="#003300" size="1">[ December 01, 2005 03:41 PM: Message edited by: CanadianGirl ]</font>

[EvolutionHasBegun]

i must say..it is rather nice to see this old place still here...

[~lily~]

Hello Evo *S* Thanks for stopping by

CG, your boy is adorable. God so much time has gone by, i hadn't realized you had your baby!!

Hope all is well now!

[CanadianGirl]

I know eh? time just flies..I cant believe he is 7 months now and hes growing like a weed...After his surgrey next month everything should be great [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img]

how is your lil boy?...Amanda and i one day has to take a ride up there to see you and show you our lil boys in person