Laugh Dammit !

**Rogue Angel** · October 30th, 2007, 10:58 PM

*snortlaughs, then looks around to be sure no one heard it*.... [img]graemlins/thumbs_up.gif[/img]

**mRs.GaToR** · October 30th, 2007, 11:42 PM

*points at RA* I heard that! *LMAO*

Next time you think your hotel bill is too high you might want To consider this...

Husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston After
Almost twenty-four hours on the road, they' re too tired
To continue, and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice
Hotel and take a room, but they only plan
To sleep for four hours and then get back on the road.

When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them
A bill for $350.00. The man explodes and demands to know why the charge
Is so high.
He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms ce! rtainly
Aren't worth $350.00!
When the clerk tells him $350.00 is the standard rate, the man
Insists on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that
The hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center
That were available for the husband and wife to use.

"But we didn't use them," the man complains.

"Well, they are here, and you could have," explains the
Manager.
He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows
For which the hotel is famous. "The best entertainers from New
York , Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here," the Manager says.

"But we did! n't go to any of those shows, "complains the man
Again.

"Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replies.

No matter what amenity the M anager mentions, the man replies,
"But we didn't use it!"

The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and
Agrees to pay. He writes a check and gives it to the Manager.

The Manager is surprised when he! looks a at the check. "But sir," He says, this check is only made out for $50.00."

"That's correct," says the man. "I charged you $300.00 for
Sleeping with my wife."

"But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.
"Well, too bad," the man replies. "She was here and you could have"

**Rogue Angel** · October 31st, 2007, 09:55 AM

HAHAHAHA, busted!!! [img]redface.gif[/img]

**ellanoize** · November 6th, 2007, 08:04 PM

A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT

They were all alone in the house.

Together. Just the two of them.
It was a coild, dark, stormy night.
The storm had come quickly and without warning.

And each time the thunder boomed he watched her jump.

She looked across the room and admired his strong appearance...and

wished that he would take her in his arms, comfort her and protect her

from the storm.

Suddenly, with a pop, the power went out... She screamed...

He raced to the sofa where she was cowering.

He didn't hesitate to pull her into his arms.

He knew this was a forbidden union and

expected her to pull back.

He was surprised when she didn't resist but instead clung to him.

The storm raged on...

They knew it was wrong...

Their families would never understand... So consumed were

they in their fear that they heard no door open

...just the faint click of a camera.....

c5z3vin5mzjnqjmmtfwd

**ellanoize** · November 7th, 2007, 01:36 PM

I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:
A half-gallon of 2% milk,
A carton of eggs,
A quart of orange juice,
A head of romaine lettuce,
A 2 lb. can of coffee, and
1 lb. package of bacon.

As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk
standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated,
"You must be single."

I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the
derelict's intuition, since I was indeed single, I looked at the six items
on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that
could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: "Well, you know what, you're
absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?"

The drunk replied, "'Cause you're ugly."

**mRs.GaToR** · November 11th, 2007, 01:22 AM

*spits my soda* *LMAO*

**ellanoize** · November 11th, 2007, 01:46 AM

Sorry RA *spraying glass cleaner* I made Judy Spit her soda *wiping the monitor* I'll clean it up, It wuz my fault [img]wink.gif[/img]

**Rogue Angel** · November 11th, 2007, 06:34 PM

no harm done, rog... *lmao at that picture*.... that is fkn HILARIOUS! lol... forbidden love!! [img]tongue.gif[/img]

**ellanoize** · January 11th, 2008, 01:29 PM

A Young Mother was out walking with my 4 year old daughter.

She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth.

I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.

'Why?' my daughter asked.

'Because it's been on the ground, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty, and probably has germs' I replied.

At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, 'Momma, how do you know all this stuff, you are so smart.'

I was thinking quickly. 'All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mom Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mom.'

We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information. 'OH...I get it!' she beamed, 'So if you don't pass the test you have to be the dad.

''Exactly' I replied back with a big smile on my face.