Laugh Dammit !

[Berry]

*snort laugh* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[ellanoize]

A man, returning home a day early from a business trip, got into a taxi at the airport. It was after midnight. While en route to his home, he asked the cabby if he would be a witness.

The man suspected his wife was having an affair and he intended to catch her in the act.

For $100, the cabby agreed.

Quietly, arriving at the house, the husband and the cabby tiptoed into the bedroom. The husband switched on the lights, yanked the blanket back and there was his wife in bed with another man.

The husband put a gun to the naked man's head.

The wife shouted..."Don' t do it." This man has been very generous. I lied when I told you I inherited money. He pays the mortgage on our dream house. He paid for the Corvette I bought for you. He paid for our new cabin cruiser. He paid for your season Green Bay Packers Tickets. He paid for our house at the lake. He pays our kids college fund. He paid for our country club membership and he even pays the monthly dues."

Shaking his head from side-to-side, the husband slowly lowered the gun. He looked over at the cab driver and said, "What would you do?"

The cabby said, "I'd cover his ass up with that blanket, before he catches a cold."

[EvolutionHasBegun]

*click* im sorry..Mel is unable to come to the computer right now... she is away for the weekend at a gay and lesbian convention...please leave a message...*beeeeeep*

[EvolutionHasBegun]

you gonna tell them about the girl you slept with? [img]wink.gif[/img]

[Rogue Angel]

[img]graemlins/sure.gif[/img] i was at a work related retreat for the weekend.... *pinches spirit*... good joke, rog! [img]wink.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/thumbs_up.gif[/img]

[Rogue Angel]

i didn't sleep with a girl. or anything else with her... other than shop for clothes with the rest of the gang. lol. i, personally, slept on the pull out couch in the same room as a girl. [img]eek.gif[/img]

[EvolutionHasBegun]

ya got cold feet huh? well it happens.. youll get your chance again sport! dont you give up... [img]wink.gif[/img]

[ellanoize]

After living in the remote wilderness of Kentucky all his life, an old hillbilly
decided it was time to visit the big city .

In one of the stores he picks up a mirror and looks in it. Not ever having seen one before, he remarked at the image staring back at him,
'How about that!
Here's a picture of my daddy.'

He bought the mirror thinking it was a picture of his daddy, but on the way home he remembered his wife didn't like his father, so he hung it in the barn, and every morning before leaving for the fields, he would go there and look at it.

His wife began to get suspicious of these many trips to the barn.
One day after her husband left, she searched the barn and found the mirror.

As she looked into the glass, she fumed,

'So that's the ugly bitch he's runnin' around with.'

[ellanoize]

A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first
class section of an airplane. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue,
gently wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen
seconds.

The man went back to his reading. A few minutes later, the woman
sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, then shuddered
violently once more.
>
Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the man was still
curious about the shuddering. A few more minutes passed when the
woman sneezed yet again. As before she took a tissue, wiped her
nose, her body shaking even more than before.

Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and
said, "I couldn't help but notice that you've sneezed three times,
wiped your nose, and then shuddered violently. Are you OK?"
>
"I'm sorry if I disturbed you; I have a very rare medical condition.
Whenever I sneeze, I have an orgasm."
>
The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious. I have
never heard of that condition before," he said. "Are you taking
anything for it?
> The woman nodded. "Pepper."

[ellanoize]

Toward the end of Sunday service, the minister asked,

'How many of you have forgiven your enemies?'
80% held up their hands.
The minister then repeated his question.
All responded this time, except one small elderly lady.
'Mrs. Neely, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?'
'I don't have any' she replied, smiling sweetly.
'Mrs. Neely, that is very unusual. How old are you?'
'Ninety-eight..' she replied.
'Oh, Mrs. Neely, would you please come down in front

and tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years

and not have an enemy in the world?'
The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said:



'I outlived the bitches.'