Laugh Dammit !

[Rogue Angel]

*chuckles*...i liked that one, rog.... [img]graemlins/thumbs_up.gif[/img] the fact that you're a man and you posted it adds to the entertainment! [img]graemlins/devil.gif[/img]

[Mer]

LOL those rock!!

[ellanoize]

My dad used to tell me if I "didn't stop" I'd go blind and I'd say, "Dad, I'm over here."

[Rogue Angel]

LMFAO.... i love this thread, rog... [img]wink.gif[/img] keep em comin!! even when i don't get a chance to reply or add anything, i always read.... [img]graemlins/thumbs_up.gif[/img]

[ellanoize]

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with
her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy,
middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could
not take her eyes off him.

The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare and
walked directly toward her. (As men will.)

Before she could offer her apologies for staring so rudely, he
leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anythi ng, absolutely
anything,
that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00......on one
condition. "

Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was.
The man replied,
"You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."

The woman considered his proposition for a moment, and then
slowly
removed a $20 bill from her purse, which she pressed into the
man's
hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes, and
slowly and meaningfully said.........


"Clean my house."

[Mer]

LMAO

[ellanoize]

June First Funny...

WOMAN'S POEM

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.

MAN'S POEM

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs
Who owns a liquor store and a golf course. This
Doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.

[Mer]

lmfao!!!! well at least it's a simple list

[BlackMagicRose]

LMAO...Men's lists are often far more simple. Like "Get naken and bring beer!" We're like "first you can get naked but you have to take the clothes off in this order and then you can get the champagne and raspberries in this order." [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[ellanoize]

A young guy from Oklahoma moves to Texas and goes to a big 'everything
under one roof' department store looking for a job.

The Manager says, 'Do you have any sales experience?' The kid says
'Yeah. I was a salesman back in Oklahoma ' Well, the boss liked the kid and
gave him the job. 'You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see

how you did.'

His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the
store was locked up, the boss came down. How many customers bought something

from you today?


The kid says 'one'.

The boss says 'Just one? Our salespeople average 20 to 30 customers a
day. How much was the sale for?'

The kid says $101,237.65'.

The boss says '$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell?'

The kid says, 'First, I sold him a small fishhook. Then I sold him a
medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then I sold him a new
fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down
the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the

boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he
didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the
automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition.'

The boss said 'A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a
BOAT and a TRUCK?'

The kid said 'No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife' and
I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot. You should go fishing.'