Diary of a Mad White Woman.... lol.

[Rogue Angel]

apt name for this thread. (a goof on the movie "diary of a mad black woman" before people start going all fkn insane and crap and throw a huge fit and call me a racist or something. *L*)

this is pretty much my thread... whether it is read or not, i need a place to vent BADLY.... before i pop. lol.

grrrr, i still feel like crap today... dunno what's wrong... i think i might have a touch of the stomach flu or something, because i can't eat, and feel kinda sick, with a headache.... i slept surely enough... 8 hours, which is UNHEARD OF. something was definitely wrong yesterday.... other than being on the verge of going postal and straight up popping a cap in everyone's ass at work, i mean. [img]smile.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/angel.gif[/img] ........erm. let's just hope for everyone's sake, that today is a better day. [img]wink.gif[/img]

[Rogue Angel]

*sighhhhhhs*... whyyyyy oh why do i think that THIS thread will be getting a lotta use in the upcoming month or two....

Apparently the blow up and settle down at work occured conveniently while i was off on vacation... great. fine with me, lol. But we just got 2 new labs the week after christmas... that's 2 more labs to do 2-4 more studies a night... which means approximately 16-32 more studies a week for me to score. Well. They just purchased 2 more, which will be up and running before the start of FEBRUARY. Add 16-32 more to THAT amount... not counting the other 8 labs we score for, including the ones done at our own facility... i say "we" because there is a guy that usually works days with me and does the same job i do. However, during all this, he will be on night shift, doing studies for a girl that is on maternity leave... that is almost 300 studies per week. It generally takes an hour, sometimes more to score a 6 hour sleep study. You can get approximately 7-8 done a day, if you're lucky. Anyone besides ME see a problem here???? 8 x 5=40. I work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. I have a possible of 40 i can get done, with approximately 300 coming in. errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. i don't wanna be negative here, but.... ummmmm. what the fuck? LOL.

so later on down the road, when i am on here screaming, and every other word starts with an F... someone please remind me that it's only a job... and they can only put as much pressure on me as i let them... if that doesn't work, give me chocolate.... LOTS... of chocolate. [img]confused.gif[/img]

[Rogue Angel]

*sighs*... it sucks when you figure out that there are some problems or situations in life... that there will never be an answer or resolution to...

[Rogue Angel]

i'm having a premonition..... that my day is about to get worse... *L*.

[Rogue Angel]

lol, i was right that day... it DID get worse... [img]frown.gif[/img]
things seem to be pretty ok for the moment, though, despite a RAGING case of PMS... *L*. i've tried to mostly stay away from other people during, less problems that way.... i can be sickly, headachy, cranky, and tired all by myself. instead of biting off the head of the nearest person that happens to walk by and say in that not-so-bright super-chipper voice... "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU TODAY?" grrrrrrrr.... if i was a dog, it would make the hair on the back of my neck stand up... them's fightin words!!! [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[Rogue Angel]

hmmmm. i don't think i have any of that pent-up anger left... *checks*... nope. wow.

[Rogue Angel]

*takes a deep breath*... ok. first of all, let me just say, right off the bat. that i am in a piss fucking poor mood... so anyone that doesn't want to witness bitchiness, anger, and violence... had better close their fucking eyes, or get the hell outta here, like now. *L*

FIRST... my dad had surgery this morning... i was worried about him all day... no one called to tell me anything for a long time, because there were complications... his temp refused to go up... it was in the 70's, and they couldn't get it to go back up... finally they put him in a warming gown, and it went back up to 94, and they let him out of recovery, and i got a call.... he's fine other than that, though in a little bit of pain. I know i didn't say what type of surgery. cuz it's on a need to know basis, and pretty much, no one needs to know. nothing serious is all that matters.

SECOND. i went to the allergy doctor today, and they took me off prednisone... which is a good thing, i guess... except that without it, i swell up and rash, my eyes run continuously, and swell almost shut. It hasn't been as bad lately, so hopefully i'll be ok without it. But they also discontinued one of my allergy medications, and i will be starting allergy shots once a week for possibly as long as a year, with them every 6 months or so for possibly as long as 2-5 YEARS.

lots of people probably think allergy shots are "medicine"... they aren't... they are serum containing whatever it is you are allergic to... they start with a small dose, and increase weekly, to help you build up immunity to whatever it is, until you have no reaction at all anymore. That's good, too. But after the injections, there can be an increase in the amount it bothers you. So why take me off 2 of my meds that prevent that? i suppose because you wouldn't be able to gauge the true result of how the serum is affecting you... but still... [img]frown.gif[/img] i dread it SO much... no one knows... except maybe for don, as he was here for the beginning of it... speaking of don, since everyone seems to be so interested in that subject in regards to me, we'll get back to that momentarily. As i was saying, the shots are the only chance to "cure" what is going on. And maybe $10 a week for 2 shots, and $50 or $60 when a new vial of each one is needed isn't a lot for some people... but i'm poor... and divorced... so yeah. for me, it IS a big deal... especially when you add in the other expensive allergy meds that i'm still on as well. *sighs*... OHHHHH... and goody goody, guess WHAT? i get to go pay thousands of dollars for a bone density test, to see if the prednisone has given me any degree of osteoporosis. AND the opthamologist, to be sure i have no cataracts forming because of it. Again, more money. As far as the time issue goes... my boss is already acting pissed because every week, for one day... i have to go to the dr's office, get a shot, and sit and do nothing for 30 min while i'm supposed to be working. I'm not positive what she would like for me to DO about it, but i can't go on forever feeling like this. I don't mention it much anymore, but it is a constant aggravation... and the weight gain from the steroids... christ. 30 out of 60 pounds gained back. i literally cannot take the situation as is anymore, or soon i'm gonna start shopping for revolvers.

THIRD... and last. I am SO fucking sick of people worrying so much about what goes on between don and i. PEOPLE.... and you KNOW who you are... DON"T WORRY ABOUT IT. get lives. please. i'm begging you. i know you don't have a lot of entertainment, but breaking your legs to run and tell him "oooooooh, look what she said on chloe and blaze's board about youuuuuu!!!!"... is just pathetic... and a little sad, honestly. i mean come ON already.

i know it's hard for some people to fathom... but i actually DID have a life, BD... BEFORE DON. and wow, as weird as it sounds, IN that life... i actually had OTHER relationships with OTHER men... you know, ones that were NOT don. The subject at hand of which i am speaking was engagement and marriage. Apparently some fucktard, or various fucktards, felt the need to run screaming and report "she was talking about YOU!" number one. you don't know me. and you have no IDEA who i was talking about. actually, it was a GENERAL statement, as that is what girls do when an engagement has been called off, or relationship goes sour... cry, talk shit, then get the fuck OVER it. But technically, since as far as i know... don and i have never been engaged nor married... i PROBABLY wasn't talking about him. Since i HAVE been engaged to 3 other people, and married to one. i was likely talking about one or some of THOSE people. none of which whom would be... you guessed it. DON.

apparently it was stated that that was my little way of getting back at him for an issue that occured on his board... that i had to run to someone else's board and talk shit, so that he couldn't do anything about it... *laughs hard*... whoever this person or people are.... they're apparently completely stupid. If he had something to say to me, he damn well would, no matter WHERE it was... And the opposite holds true as well. IF i had something to say to don, i damn well would, and DO. i have no need to run and hide, as i can call him up on the phone and say "hey, you really pissed me off" etc etc..... [img]graemlins/sure.gif[/img]

the funniest thing of all, though is... this person (or people) made a total ass out of themself, because he knew very well that i wasn't talking about him in the first place... lmao. Don, apparently unlike THIS person... actually KNOWS me. And knows that i have been married before, and yes yes... have even dated people before him! Some people around here must think i was hatched from an egg, especially to be don's girlfriend... LOL. For that matter, i could have had 2 or 3 boyfriends AFTER don by now, and be talking shit about one of THEM. it's just... ignorant. lol. Do us all a favor and try to find another way to make trouble, or get his attention... cuz i'm tired of it. it's old, tired, and dumb. Not everything that comes out of my mouth is in reference to don. that's all i'm saying. Don't make yourself look like an idiot. [img]graemlins/sure.gif[/img]

*considers*... yep... i think that just about covers today.... other than i got my first "real" credit card. yay! i just found that out like 2 seconds ago... so that relives some of the pressure about how i'm gonna pay for all this shit.... though regrettably, it does nothing to cure some people's apparent ignorance. [img]eek.gif[/img]

[Rogue Angel]

ok... i went the entire week without a gripe about work... ONLY... because i was so fucking tired that i couldn't muster up the energy for bitching....

let me just say... that i thoroughly enjoyed taking over for my super while she was sick, and doing her job. It was great... i loved it...

what i did NOT love... was the shit i had to take from my co-worker for being the one chosen to do it.

OK people... this phenomenon is a little like when a girl catches her boyfriend cheating on her, and beats the fkn dogshit outta the chick he happens to be with. It is the GIRL's fault that your boyfriend is a lying, cheating dick? hell no! but there are some that do it anyway... Sorta the same thing here. I didn't go to my manager and get down on my knees and say "oh pleeeeeease please let me do her job while she's gone! i'll do ANYTHING!!!! pick me! pick meeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!" ugh. for fuck's sakes. I came in, was nabbed at the door the first day she was gone, and didn't make it to the back, where i usually work... for the rest of the week. NOT... my... fault. I can't help it if they think he is too dumb to do the job... i really can't.

Anyway, this dickface was a jerk to me for the ENTIRE 3 days that i was "in charge".... GRRRRR. he came up front that first morning, and i said "good morning!" all nice to him... he just looks at me with that stupid "i'm a big fucking baby so i'm gonna throw a tantrum cuz things didn't go my way" face... turns around... and walks off... ignores me or is shitty to me all that day.. and at the end of the day walks out the door without so much as a goodbye to not just me, but anyone else in the building as well.

.....i was brokenhearted, ya know. [img]graemlins/broken_heart.gif[/img] UGHHHHHHHHHHH... he is SUCH a dick! dick dick dick dick dick!!! giant penis! jerkoff assclown! GRRRRRR.

*straightens my hair and continues*... ANYWAY. Day number two comes, and i am up there again... i avoid him for MOST of the day, which is good... and i am nice... everytime a report prints off in the front, i take it to him on my way back, because he has a bad knee, and is limping right now... would he do that for ME if he was up front? fuuuuuuck no! he would be too damned busy pretending to be important.... i'm nice all day long.... i even go back in the back after all my work is done, and mop and clean the bathrooms, and scrub the nasty ass toilets, which i HATE to do... just so he can't say i didn't do anything.

Grrrr. the next day, i come in, and he's all assholish again.... will barely speak to me when i ask him something, and when he does, it's a mumble that NO ONE could possibly understand. Then, i had more studies to be added to his list of studies to score... so i got the list, which he had placed neatly on my desk like "ha! i'm done! see, i don't need your help, i could do this job all by myself... i don't understand why they keep you around"... i add the names to it, and hold it out to him as he happens by, saying "i have something for you"...

to which this JERKOFF fucking replies "too bad too sad"... and breezes right past my outstretched hand. NOW... unless you are a total fucktard... how difficult is it to pluck a sheet of paper from someone's hand as you walk by them? i was left sitting there, arm outstretched, paper hanging, with egg on my face, feeling all humiliated. Because i am NOT really the boss... i cannot go up to him and say LISTEN. i said to take this peice of paper. When i say something, you do it, that's how this whole little thing works... rather neat, wouldn't you say? STOP acting like a baby throwing a tantrum because he didn't get his extra fucking cookie at lunch and GROW UP. The man is fkn almost 50 years old... i'm 35 and i know better than to act like that. jesus.

Anyway, he came and picked it back up on his way back to the back... if he hadn't, i probably would have balled it up and jammed it so far up his fuckin ass that he wouldn't be able to shit for a month..... gr.

THEN. at the end of the day... after i have worn myself completely out trying to catch up the super's work... i go to the back to check my rest room... we each have one that it is our responsibility to keep clean for the patients... and it's spotless... so i go and ask him if he cleaned the bathrooms, thinking that he probably did, as i did mine AND his the day before, just to be nice... not because i had to... i say "hey randy, did you clean the bathrooms? cuz they look clean to me"... and he says, all in this sarcastic ass voice "i cleaned MINE."... grrrrrrrrrrr. i just said "oh, ok... well, mine's clean, so i'm going back up front to my desk"... HAHAHAHAHAHHA. it's NOT my desk... but it had the effect i was lookin for... he was red-faced when i walked out.

Dirty fucker... i coulda rubbed his face in it for 3 whole days, and i didn't... he surely would have done it to ME, believe that. But NOOOOOOOO. i was mrs. nice girl, as usual, and got shit on... as usual. So i've decided when i go back in as a grunt on monday, and he is all happy and says "gooooood morning!!!" i'm just gonna stare at him and walk off... then in a few minutes come back and say "that's what it's like when you say good morning to someone and they ignore you and look at you like a retard".... *mutters* stupid ass... that is THE bane of my employment existence... evil, RANDY is thy name!!!! lol... [img]graemlins/devil.gif[/img]

[Rogue Angel]

Ya know what... i was just about to go off on a huge rant.... but truthfully... i just don't wanna... *shrugs and walks back out again*.... fuck it.

[Rogue Angel]

must make it through this week... after this week i will be alone in the back again..... 5 days of randy.... i dunno about this, lol, i'm cranky already, and it's just monday!!!!

then again, that's probably because i came to work in wet undies, wet bra, wet socks, and wet JEANS. grrrrrr. i LOVE monday. swear to god i do.... LOL....