Contemplating Suicide..

[SoUnclear]

Get a cat or a dog and brush it every day.. Save the hair until you have a giant hairball.. Plug up your nose then shove the hairball into your mouth...

Leave a cryptic note about how you believe little Fluffy or Rover was planning to kill you in your sleep....

..maybe you are CC.....

[Canadian Chick]

oh well....I could be worse things....

[SoUnclear]

right...you could be...being morbid isn't that bad of a thing anyway ya know.........

..Get a LOT of explosives.. The more the better....
Hook up a detonator to an altimeter.. Set it for 100-200 feet.. That will give you good dispersion.
Mix vaseline and gasoline in a bucket..
Find a really tall building in a sufficiently crowded area to generate the proper sized crowd..
Get an extra large trench coat.. ski mask.. duct tape and a lighter..
Bring your materials to the top of your building.. Liberally apply the vaseline-gasoline mixture to your entire body.. Duct tape the explosives around your legs.. arms.. head and torso.. The more you use the better.. You cannot overdo this.. Attach the altimeter to the explosives..
Put on the trench coat and mask so that the explosives are not visible..
Start ranting and throwing things so that you are sure to attract notice.. Drag this part out as long as possible.. Say anything that comes to mind but try to stay away from real problems.. Your love life DOES NOT make for a good sound bite.. Ask for news cameras from the major networks.. Pace around a lot while waving your arms..
DO NOT let on that you have explosives on your body.. The police will clear the area and you definitely don't want that..
When you've gotten the crowd to a fevered pitch.. when the helicopters are hovering like vultures.. whip off the jacket and set yourself on fire..
Wait until you are completely engulfed in flame then jump...
Try to steer yourself towards the crowd.. That way flaming falling body parts will pelt the fleeing onlookers when you explode..
Congratulations! You've just fuckin made history...

[SoUnclear]

HAMMER a bullet into your skull.. Make sure there is an empty gun nearby but do not fire it.. Bash the bullet into your frontal lobe.. It doesn't matter how you get it done it will perplex the authorities for years and you will.. most assuredly.. be a hot news topic.. Hell.. you want fame in death to rival the obscurity you had in life don't you...?

[SoUnclear]

*tick..tick..tick.........

[SoUnclear]

right CC....if ones set their mind to it..and is tired of dealin with shit that is fucked up world has to give and the fucked up ppl that one has to deal with then theres not much anyone can say or do.....*shrugs then kicks ya............

[Canadian Chick]

*kicks ya back and then hands you a drink*

[SoUnclear]

Damn...a drink would be nice..my fuckin pc workin right would be nice as well........

Find a sausage making company that has a giant meat grinder.. Set up a hidden video camera to tape your death. Leave a will with explicit instructions that it not be read until one year after the night of your grinding.. In it.. detail the way you died and the location of the hidden camera....

Sneak in at night naked and turn on the video camera.. Climb into the grinder and take massive amounts of pills of your choice.. Make sure it is enough to kill you....

In the morning you will be ground up and made into sausages.. One year later your will.. will be read to the news media and people all around the nation will vomit simultaneously....

[SoUnclear]

Find a strong burly friend that will help you.. Then find Jerry Seinfeld.. Have your strong burly friend pick up Seinfeld and beat you to death with him....

Later Jerry will make a tv show out of it or maybe it will just end up in his act. "So I said.. 'Hey! Who are these people that pick up other people and beat other people to death with them..?'"

[SoUnclear]

Sometimes you want to do something violent and bloody but you just don't have the wherewithal to assemble a cache of assault weapons...? This method is simple and convenient for those on limited budgets...
Make a small incision in your stomach...
Pull out your intestines....
Hang yourself with the intestines...
Leavin a cryptic note about aliens might be a nice touch...