Visitation with my kids

[phoenixrising79]

I worked out visitation with my Ex wife so I could take both of my girls this weekend. We picked them up down on the coast at Her house in Newport around 6:30pm, adn we have them tonight, all day tomorrow (Saturday, and then their mom is supposed to pick them up here at our place on Sunday around noon or so. We went shopping on the way down there to get the girls and picked them up each a pumpkin that their mom can help them carve for halloween. We also went shopping briefly at walmart with the girls after we picked them up to pick up a few things. We finally arrived here in McMinnville, OR around 9:30pm tonight, I inflated the air mattress, got them into night clothes, and put them in bed by 10pm. I've also been noticing that everytime that My ex wife and I talk about the girls, she keeps a log of it on her myspace blog which is marked private. Hopefully she is saying nothing but good things, and not saying anything untrue behind my back. I've been fair to her and kept her up to date on anything which could affect the girls being able to see me, the child support order, etc. Hopefully she is doing the same for me. I figured that since she is keeping a log, I might as well do one of my own, in case if this goes to court. With that said, this will serve as my record of events. All are welcome to comment, but since this could be used in a courtroom by me, please do not swear on this thread, as that may very well effect my case should everything need to goto court, and this be used as evidence of her doings, our conversations, and anything which could be effecting the kids or Kristin's and my relationship with them. Thanks!

<font color="#F7F2E7" size="1">[ October 27, 2007 01:45 AM: Message edited by: phoenixrising79 ]</font>

[BlackMagicRose]

Well, all I have to say is we can only do so much given our circumstances and if it isn't good enough for her than too bad because at least we are trying. Most parents don't even bother. And she has to take into account the mileage between us and her along with the skyrocketing gas prices. Winter is going to be bad because if it is icy or snow covered we won't be able to drive down there and I wouldn't expect her to drive here just because of safety reasons. Staying safe is more important than risking your life for a one or two night visit. As for the child support...we were told by the Dept. Of Justice: Division Of Child Support not to pay anything out and to just let them withdraw it from Daniel's checks because they could not give us credit for anything we paid out. That included clothing to send with them to her and so on. And they also stated not to send ANY money directly to her because we wouldn't get credit for it. As for them taking the child support out...they are taking their time with it and seemingly are waiting until it accrues enough to warrant having his license suspended. Okay that is stupid because if you suspend his license then how is he going to get to school or work in order to make the money to pay for the child support. I am not obligated to pay it. They aren't my kids nor are they my responsibility financially. And if they tried to make me pay it I would put in that she had to obtain a full time regular job or I would not pay it. I shouldn't be held accountable. And I WON'T be held accountable. For all the complaining she has done about the child support not being paid she needs to take it up with them and find out WHY they are dragging their feet.

<font color="#F7F2E7" size="1">[ October 27, 2007 02:01 AM: Message edited by: phoenixrising79 ]</font>

[phoenixrising79]

It should also be noted that to date, she has not sought full time employment, or emplyment of any kind for that matter. She insists on living with her dad, and having him support her and the two girls. This raises a huge concern for me, because if she isn't willing to support the girls now, whats going to happen if something happens to her parents, and she has no way to bring money in to feed, cloth them, or otherwise provide for their needs. She is playing a dangerous game, and gambling with the welfare of my children. When I have brought my concern to her, I am told that it's too hard to get out and get a job. Or another favorite reason is that all she has to do is get emplyment for three months, save up some money, quit the steady job, and live off the money until she runs out and then look for a different job to tide her over for another three months. Personally, I believe that a single parent should be supporting their children with steady employment, and providing for the needs of the children. A single mom can't afford not to work, and if she plans on living off of the child support she will be getting as soon as they decide to pay her out of my checks, that is an insane idea, considering that the support ordered is only $315 a month for two kids, and without a job, it's not going to be enought to live off of. In fact, it's not intended to be used as a sole source of income, it is intended to suppliment the custodial parent with a portion of the children's expenses, that is it./ Thats why it is called child support. If She doesn't want to work and support them to give them a life they deserve, then she shouldn't retain custody. At the bare minimum Joint custody should be awarded so that everything is more evenly split and the children have a better chance of being successful longterm not only as individuals, but in the ultimate scheme of things, as a successful contributer to society when they reach adulthood. Isn't that the goal of every good parent, to have their kids be successful? I know that it is one of mine which is at the top of my list.

[BlackMagicRose]

Children are a product of their parents teachings. And right now all she is teaching the girls is that it is okay to live off the system and everyone else instead of making a life for yourself. That is a BIG issue with me since I have had to work for everything I have gotten. I think that there should be laws set in place that makes it to where that child support money is traced to where you HAVE to show WHAT it is being spent on so that it is actually spent on the kids instead of as a means of income.

[phoenixrising79]

I agree :-)

[phoenixrising79]

Well, their mom came and got both the girls around 12:30pm, and they just left our place at 1:30pm. Cinnamon, the older one was sick to her stomach when I got up around 9am this morning after hacking and coughing last night. Makes me wonder if she doesn't have a tough of the flu, but she isn't running a high fever, nor does she have the chills or bod aches that goes along with it. Maybe it was just a case of a sour stomach? Or maybe the pizza we had last night didn't agree with her. I gave the girls soem crystal light to drink and they insisted on pizza for breakfast, so I gave them that, and sent a box of saltines home with them for cinnamon, and also in case if willow starts getting sick to her stomach too. I also sent the pack of diapers home with her since willow still has a little bit of issues getting up at night to use the bathroom if she needs to since she sleeps like a rock half of the time. The diapers are more effective and alot cheaper then pullups, and they serve essentially the same purpose either way. Yesterday (saturday), they had a scrambled egg a piece and a slice of toast which they tolerated just fine, and of course the pizza last night and this morning. I told their mom that if cinnamon gets worse to take them in to their doctor and have them seen, since that cough is starting to concern me. Other than that, their mom is being civil for once, and the girls told me that they would like a barbie doll a piece and a tea set for christmas. I will see what I can do, over all this visit went well, and we also discussed since the winters get really bad here, that Kristin and I will probably take the gifts down there instead of taking them at christmas time. I would rather do that, then get them all the way up here, and not be able to get them back home due to ice and stuff. Besides, why take a risk of driveing with them on the ice through a dangerous cooridor if we don't have to? I also sent them with four slices of dry toast for the way home as well, that way the girls have something in their tummies if they get sick.

<font color="#F7F2E7" size="1">[ October 28, 2007 04:45 PM: Message edited by: phoenixrising79 ]</font>