Retouched and extended Red Twin x Blue Twin

I mentioned in a thread the other day that I wasn't fully happy with the ending for my first story. The final chapter should have been split in two, but I just wanted to finish it that day, so I pushed out something I wasn't fully satisfied with. I recently began trying to improve the ending, tweaked some of the content in part 2 and did a round of spell checking for all three parts. I just uploaded the newly edited version on the original thread (https://www.hostboard.com/forums/f29...blue-twin.html).

The new final chapter could have been a chapter four, as I think there is enough content there to warrant it, but then it could have confused things, as chapter 3 would have gotten shorter etc, so instead chapter 3 is just pretty chonky now.

I hope people who haven't read it before enjoy it, and people who read it but maybe felt let down by the rather wooden and stiff ending can find more enjoyment from it.

(I also hope there isn't a problem with me making a new thread to highlight the changes, I can't change the original name of the thread to show that it has been updated after all)

Please Keep Posting New Stories..

I Just Love Your Stories..

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Originally Posted by naresh

Please Keep Posting New Stories..

I Just Love Your Stories..

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Thank you, that's kind of you to say! I definitely want to keep posting stories! I have the first chunk of a story I started on ages ago, so I may either pick that back up again, or start on bully vs bully or mage vs mage:)

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Originally Posted by Lotus9

Thank you, that's kind of you to say! I definitely want to keep posting stories! I have the first chunk of a story I started on ages ago, so I may either pick that back up again, or start on bully vs bully or mage vs mage:)

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Whats the one that has a chunk done about? Because otherwise bully vs bully sounds GREAT.

Thanks for all the great stories

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Originally Posted by animefreak

Whats the one that has a chunk done about? Because otherwise bully vs bully sounds GREAT.

Thanks for all the great stories

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It was intended to be the backstory/introduction to the mage vs mage fight, the sequel/prequel to (al)chemical solution. It is set in a fiction Chinese dynasty and revolves around the two concubines who are addicted to fighting each other.

The characters started to feel like they deserved their own story though, and it felt like a tonal mismatch to a sudden time skip and the pair suddenly turn into wizards etc ahah.

Thank you for your kind words btw:D