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Warm feelings comfort me all around,
$6.99 passes itself all over me,
The cork has found itself on the table,
Smiles cover my face,
O? what shall I do with this brilliant mind?
No one will ever know.
Your red delicious taste makes me wonder,
Where is my mind, I think it?s on a journey into the depths of the UN.
Un Reality
Un Wanted
Un Emotional
Un?.
Time to play that song again.
Love?.
What shall we do with you?
Sometimes your bright colors just bring me down.
But in all reality I need you,
I think I?m afraid of your power.
I think I?m afraid of your trickery.
I think I?m afraid of commitment.
Love and Wine,
Wine and Love,
They seem to go together; like a strong steed desires the company of a young Knight.
Californication has its hold on me and the White Zinfandel is beginning to enjoy it?s grasp on my cerebral control.
Ernest and Julio seem to have done their job.
Life?
O what shall I do with you?
I enjoy you very much, but at times I feel the lag,
Should I carry on your path or should I just jump into the empty pond,
Many questions to ask-
So little time for them to be answered,
My time here is so small I should just enjoy it for everything it hands me.
Friends?
I miss the important ones,
You know; the ones that actually influence your life and don?t just fill in the time space continuum void.
You guys know exactly who you are,
And I give my thanks to you for making me a better?hmmm a better what?
Human?
Soul?
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interesting chain of thoughts lined up, i think there would be a more fierce impact if you took out the question marks after the last three lines.
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I dislike rhetorical questions at all - so i say - riddance to all of those pesky question marks!
However - at the beginning of each... erm.. paragraph (stanza?) they sort of fit right in, asking something, and then you explain it.
But I think there could be more in those explanations.
As Rob's teacher said about some of his work... you're telling us - but not showing.
(however, these are getting better than your first peices, so keep up the writing!)
Try to show more - using more descriptors, letting us see what your seeing (as well as what you're thinking)
Don't just give us the dots to connect - connect the dots for us, and let us see the masterpeice as you do.
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I can't help those damn questions [img]smile.gif[/img] Ok guys i'll try to eliminate [img]smile.gif[/img] Thanks for the advise hanny
