Many years ago my friend Dan was channel surfing and suddenly, lo and behold, there was Jackie Fox of The Runaways on the Dating Game! He scrambled for a tape and popped it in just in time to catch the beginning of Ms. Fox's round. The following is a transcript of what got caught on tape;
MC]Good luck bachelors, here we go.
JF]Great we'll start with Mr. California, bachelor #3,If I had called you last night at 4:00am and told you you were invited to a come as you are party what would you have looked like when you showed up at my door?
B#3]Ah, I'd try and keep it....um, above board uh, a nice pair of slacks,hard shoes and uh...
JF]That's what you would have been wearing at 4 in the morning?
B#3]Oh, come as you are,4 in the morning.
MC][behind B#3]Yeah coming at 4 in the morning, yeah.
JF]Last night.
B#3]Well I uh,I don't wear too much..um, when I retire, uh....[unintelligable]
JF]Ya mean we could have had.....we could have had the party at the Police station,right?[Jackie laughs]
B#3]Possibly
JF]How about you bachelor #2
B#2]Naked [Naaayyyykeddd!!],...no..
JF]Great, thank you very much bachelor #2,bachelor #1 what about you?
B#1]Well, first of all,I'll tell you the truth bachelor #3 and bachelor #2's answers kinda mixed me up and the question I kinda lost, can you repeat it for me one more time?
JF][Repeats original question]
B#1]I would have came, exactly what I looked like when I was on the telephone, which probably would have been a nice pair of....trunks
JF]Yes....
B#1]I tell ya the truth at 4 o'clock in the morning most of the time I don't know where the **** I am!
JF]What were....
B#1]That's a good question, no it's a good question but....
JF]What were you doing on the phone at 4 in the morning?
B#1]At the phone?
MC]Answering your call Jackie?
B#1]I don't know, if you called, I don't know Jackie to tell you the truth at 4 o'clock in the morning most likely I'd be sitting there, uh, dreaming about you.
JF]Awww, how sweet. Bachelor #3 who's the one woman in the world you wouldn't want to go on a date with?
B#3]Uh, I'd probably say uh, my mother, it uh...
JF][in effected British accent?]Why, wouldn't you want to take your mother out?
B#3]Well, she's uh...sure I'd love to take her out I think she's, uh....extremely intelligent and very good looking, but uh, there's a little difference in age...
JF]Well lets hope so!
B#3]...and I think I can relate closer to....
JF]Bachelor #2 If you and I were both 5 years old and a big mean bully stole my lollipop, how would you get it back for me?
B#2]I'd go kick him in the shin.
JF]Great, I'd bet he'd love you for that, how about you #1?
B#1]I'd go back to my old neighborhood and get all my friends and I'd chase him out of town.
JF]Uh huh, bachelor #3, You're the world's first Rock and Roll preacher,let me hear your sermon and keep preaching until I stop you.
B#3]Rock and Roll sermon?[completely perplexed!!]
JF]Yup!
MC]A preacher, yeah a preacher.
JF]C'mon you got a whole congregation out there!
MC]Hallelujah #3
B#3]Well, we bring ya here tonight to sing a little song and praise the Lord...
JF]Thank you Rev. and we'll see you later, much later. Bachelor #2 how about you?
B#2]After my sermon I want you to stick all your money in my hat, so I can go down to the nearest liquor store and blow all my money!
JF]Are you gonna give me a cut? What's my cut of that going to be?
B#2]Probably 50%
JF]50%?
B#2]I'm even, I'm even!
JF]Bachelor #1 let me hear your favorite roses are red poem only instead of roses use matzo balls and instead of violets use chicken soup.
B#1]Matzo balls and chicken...?
JF]Yeah, matzo balls and chicken soup.
B#1]Matzo balls and chicken soup are my favorite dish,I eat it every night just to keep me[beeped].
JF]Ooooohh!
MC]All right Jackie now you're gonna have to make up your mind, figure out which one of our bachelors you're gonna choose and we'll be right back with her decision after these words.
MC]All right Jackie they tried over there and now we've reached that magic moment where you're gonna have to tell everybody who is your favorite,who gets the date with you will it be bachelor #1, bachelor #2 or bachelor #3,who is the guy, alright.
JF]It wasn't easy, it's bachelor #2
MC]#2 all right! Bachelor #2 are you sure? Why? Is there any particular reason?
JF]Oh, I'm ready to go do some drinking, I'll join his congregation any day!
MC]Oh his preacher did it for ya.
JF]Oh yeah!
MC]All right hallelujah, before we meet preacher #2 lets meet the other guys....
[B#1 & 3 are introduced, Jackie makes no comments during this segment]
MC]And now Jackie, are you ready for this?
JF]I'm not sure!!
MC]Let me tell ya, You're not sure? Well I'll tell ya something about preacher #2 here, he is an actor, he's also into the martial arts, ya know breaking boards and all that kinda stuff and his name and your date is John Crump! John c'mon and say hello please. CongratulationsWe Johnny, alright Jackie? He's alright?
JF]Yeah!!
MC]Well Jackie to start things off we have a special treat just for you now, you have won this alluring swimsuit. It's Kamali's dramatic diamond bikini in lyper-spandex with band-o-top...whoa! and connected back to front by 3 strings...hmmmmm, from the couture swimsuit collection of Kamali of Beverly Hill and New York. It's beautiful and that's gonna come in very handy I might add because the 2 of you are going to sensational........Palm Springs California!!! The home of the world famous Arial Tramway that takes you from the mystery of the desert floor all the way up to the majestic heights of the San Jacinto mountains. You'll be staying at the Palms, the luxurious new health resort in the world's most glamarous playground. You'll enjoy a vacation filled with gourmet natural food cuisine, fabulous fitness classes and fantastic recreational facilities all at the elegant new Palms in Palm Springs. And to put a little romance into the picture we have special ordered for you one of those romantic desert sunsets just as you leave together. Thank you for a great show, have a good time in Palm Springs, Thank you Jackie, Congratulation Johnny, see you later. Alright!
<font color="#ffffff" size="1">[ May 12, 2006 08:38 AM: Message edited by: Allen Rouse ]</font>
