OT: Judge For Yourself

Margie and I served as election judges for the Illinois primary yesterday. It started around 5:00 a.m. and ended around 8:30 p.m. But I?ve had longer and less interesting days as a movie extra, so that was no big deal. I had a cooler stocked with Coke and all was right with the world. Also, traffic was just heavy enough to keep us busy without being overwhelmed. And enough mothers brought in their kids for me to have fun solemnly asking three year olds if they were going to vote.

Amazing incidents: I was on the front line, getting people?s names and finding their ballot applications. The very first person I ever greeted as an election judge wasn?t on the list and had to be given a provisional ballot by the technical judge. Oy.

And later, the judge next to me, whom I will call Emphatic Ed (more on Ed in a minute), gave a woman the wrong application out of one of my books while I was helping someone else. She started to write her name before noticing the error. I found the right application and asked Emphatic Ed what to do about the erroneous one. He scratched out her writing and said, ?Put it back in the book.? I wasn?t at all sure that that was legal. ?He said, ?It?s twenty to seven now; she?s not going to show up.?? After consulting with the technical judge, I grudgingly put the application back in the book. The very next person to come in was the woman whose application was written on. Arrggghh!!!!

There was also one tight-lipped black lady who came in irate. She gave her name to Ed. There was a lot of noise happening and the name sounded like ?Ringwood?, which sent her to me. I had names L-Z. Except her name was ?Greenwood?, which sent her back to Ed. It was an honest mistake (I had heard her and it sounded like ?Ringwood? to me), but she thought we were fucking with her and got really mad. There were no other racial or ethnic issues the rest of the day. If I was going to fuck with anybody it would have been Republicans, but (A) they were paying me to be impartial and (B) after the first ten minutes you don?t care what they?re writing on the form, you just want to process them.

Here?s why more people need to be election judges: you?ll be a necessary part of the process. You?ll get paid $90. ($120 if you pass a nonmandatory online training course.) And if you don?t do it, when you vote you?ll get people like Emphatic Ed greeting you. Ed seemed to be a nice enough retired guy, but extremely assertive. Now, in a primary election, you have to declare your party affiliation, for the simple reason that the ballots are printed that way. We have to know which ballot to give you. And we would frequently get people bitching about having to write down whether they were Democrat, Republican or Non-Partisan (we didn?t get ANY Green Party people).

Following the training video?s policy, I would very politely say something like, ?I agree with you. Absolutely. But this is a primary and it?s the only way we know which ballot to give you.? Took two seconds. But whether they were talking to me or to Ed, Ed would horn in and spend thirty seconds (with emphatic hand gestures) explaining that you have to get a ballot for this party, or you have to get a ballot for that party and this is a primary, not a general election ? and his whole tone was, ?God, am I tired of telling you people this!?

After one woman took her ballot to the booth, Ed turned to the poll watcher and said, ?I can?t believe the number of people who come in here and don?t know how to vote!? And he did not lower his voice. In a small room. The woman finished voting and adamantly refused Ed?s offer of an ?I Voted!? sticker. He had humiliated her for no reason. I wanted to ask him if on his part-time, retired person?s job, he said to people, ?Well, of course you get fries with that!? But it was my first time out and I wasn?t sure about the protocol. It was also the Technical Judge?s first time being in charge, so he had enough to worry about.

I AM IMMENSELY PROUD OF MY WIFE.

1. Any of you who know Margie know that she tends to be quiet and extremely shy.

2. You don?t have to show an ID at the polling place because we compare your signature with the one on the application. It has to match or you have to go through additional paperwork to prove your identity. That?s how you?re legally identified to vote.

A well-dressed young man signed his ballot application and handed it to me. I compared the signatures. The new one was lazy and made no effort to look anything like the one on the application. But there was a line and I didn?t want to hold things up, so I passed him on to Margie, who was collecting the signed applications. Margie looked at the signatures and said, ?I?m sorry, but this doesn?t match.? He pulled out his driver?s license and some official-looking ID. Margie looked at them and said, ?I?m sorry, but the signatures on the form still don?t match. You?re going to have to fill out a signature capture.? She was extremely polite about it.

The technical judge had come over by this point. The voter mentioned that he was a lawyer. And a Committeeman. None of which made his signature match. He became Falsely Jovial, since a Gentleman Doesn?t Argue with Underlings. ?So what is it, Margie?? he asked. ?Are you a handwriting expert?? And by now, I?m sitting up very straight and trying not to leap at the guy. He went on, smilingly & reasonably being very lordly and derisive. But in the end the Technical Judge had to sign off on him.

Because the signatures didn?t match and Margie refused to pass him.

Did I mention how proud I am of her? (Did I also mention that after this I examined every fucking signature microscopically?)

Emphatic Ed had a couple of problems with irate voters (one of whom crumpled up her ballot and stormed out), but as long as you stayed polite to people, there wasn?t any problem. Most of the people we worked with were really nice. (Ed wasn't evil, he just sucked at dealing with people who irritated him by not studying the rules all night before coming to him expecting to get a ballot.)

So I?d recommend it if you?re free in November. They need the help and it?s something worth doing. Click here: DuPage County Election Commission

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And as long as I have your attention...

I have new image posts here:
Bavarian Gothic
Blue Peter
Whistler's Imhotep
Mona Elsa
Chaneys of the Clothmaker's Guild
Larry Talbot Contemplating the Bust of the Gill Man

[ February 06, 2008 12:49 PM: Message edited by: Sgt. Bilko ]

The message below is from Linda Roberts, who is a member of my Yahoo Theater Group, but not of this forum, so she couldn't post it herself. And expanding on a point she makes: the only time an election judge is allowed to ask for your ID right off the bat is if "Check ID" is clearly stamped on your ballot application in his/her book. Unless there's some sort of challenge, you don't have to show anybody anything.
Craig

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Congratulations to both of you!

The man in your position at our polling place asked for an ID before we even gave him our names. As I handed it to him, I realized I'd never had to do that before, and I thought I'd heard that this is one way they unfairly stop one from voting. I asked if it was legal to request an ID. He said, "It depends." I said, "On whether or not you want to prevent someone from voting?" I came home and reported the activity to the PFAW election Hotline, and was told it was legal only if you've never voted in IL. Yes, if you think the poll staff are jerks, why not apply yourself and do it right??? And thanks for clarifying how they know you're who you say you are. (I'll write more carefully next time.)

I, too, would like to congratulate both of you. And ?Way to go? Margie!!! Kick ass and take names? or don?t do that last part ? probably not legal ? but definitely kick ass. Especially when the guy acts like he owns the world. Best he learn the truth now: he doesn?t!

Rules is rules, as they say. And voting fraud IS a Chicagoland tradition, after all, and has been for way too long. Keep cleaning up the system.

-Mael (I am Mael, hear me roar)

PS Fight the power!
PPS Clean up the system!!
PPPS Mix those metaphors!!!

I was so inspired by your account, I tried to apply for future elections, but all I got in response was an error screen(Invalid referer: 'www.dupageelections.com'). So very sad for me.

Ok... that's really weird. I just tried it four or five times and it worked every time. What if you try doing a Google search for "DuPage Elections" and get in that way?

Craig


[ February 07, 2008 04:41 PM: Message edited by: Sgt. Bilko ]