My Dad's "Interesting" Definition of Collecting

Well, my dad saw the way I arranged my dolls for display on top of my bookshelf and did, indeed, get freaked out.

That was last night. This afternoon, we had to have a nice long conversation about basically how I need to understand what's wrong with what I'm doing. Among the usual arguments was the one about my having a problem once I decide to bring a guy home- which is bogus becuase I have a boyfriend back east who has no problem that I collect dolls. Apparently they're also the cornerstone to why I have "no social skills." Right... or maybe it's that I'm stuck in this house in a place with terrible public transportation in a completely new state and all my friends (okay, except one guy from my trumpet section who's now working out here for Boeing) are 3,000 miles away?

Anyway, he claimed that he doesn't know what I am, but that I am not a collector. He went on to explain that a collector keeps the items in their boxes and stuff, and also that I've never sold anything. So, because I'm enjoying the dolls instead of hoarding them away in boxes and liking them solely for their resale value, I'm not a collector.

I wonder if this might be the view that AG has toward collectors? That could explain a little bit of why they dislike the idea of catering to collectors so much.

(edited for typos)

<font color="#33CCCC" size="1">[ July 23, 2006 05:30 PM: Message edited by: jerseycow6 ]</font>

I am sorry to hear about that. From your latest album, it looks like you take wonderful care of your dolls. If you wanted to re-sell them, you wouldn't have a problem. Your Lindsey in particular is gorgeous! [img]biggrin.gif[/img] I hope you make good friends quickly. Moves can be so hard. [img]graemlins/rose.gif[/img]

Sorry your father had such a negative reaction. [img]frown.gif[/img] I'm sure he thinks he's helping you, but I wish he could be supportive. [img]frown.gif[/img]

And yes, I think you may have hit on something when you say AG might think of "collectors" as the folks who obsessively get the dolls and keep them in mint condition...not adults who actually play with the dolls. (Not exactly sure they'd be more or less pleased to know that some grown-ups make doll albums and the like, though...)

Yeah, my family is never, ever finding out about the doll albums. I'm trying to at least convince them that I don't "play" with the dolls. I think they'd have me committed if they knew.

I'm really sorry that your dad got kind of freaked out by your dolls. I just don't see what the problem is, but then again, I'm an adult AG collector as well (or whatever you want to call it) so I don't think I would be able to see things from his perspective.

And again,--I remember this being an issue with your parents before--collecting dolls won't necessarily freak out boyfriends or husbands. I hope you can make your parents understand that it seriously doesn't bother your boyfriend that you have dolls. My boyfriend likes my AG's and there are also a lot of DH's on this board who are supportive about their wives collecting for AG. Also, I don't think that having dolls would necessarily contribute to someone not having a big social life. You left most of your friends behind on the East Coast, so honestly, what do your parents expect?

No matter how old you are, I think you have every right to love and enjoy your dolls. I know there was a thread floating around HB recently about our adult members' ages...maybe you should get a hold of that and show it to him? I doubt that it would seriously change his mind about your hobby, but at least it would make him see that doll-lovers of all ages are not uncommon.

Yes, I already tried to bring up the other members' ages. He used the lemmings argument on me.

Quote:

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Originally posted by jerseycow6:
Yes, I already tried to bring up the other members' ages. He used the lemmings argument on me.

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<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Lemmings???? [img]eek.gif[/img] Man...no offense, but your dad seriously needs to chill out...!

I wish there was something we HBers could do to help you, since it is obviously difficult to make your parents understand that collecting dolls is not a weird or crazy hobby. [img]frown.gif[/img]

Thanks. It's just a little frustrating... they had put the dolls in storage and I was only planning on getting Felicity out so she could travel (argh, I need to get that taken care of!). But my stepmom had told my dad to go ahead and get all of my doll stuff out. So, I took the dolls out. And I thought the "display" would be good rather than leaving them lower where it would look more like they were being played with. But I think having the whole crowd of them all in one place was a bit of a shock. Well, at least I didn't try to display the Hopscotches, GOML, and my Bitty, too!

My mom has always collected dolls even before she knew about american girl. She collected porcelain dolls and she used to have a big wood and glass cabinet that she put them in. She didn't keep any of them in boxes. She didn't play with them but she plays with her american girl dolls. My friends think it's cool.

I think your dad needs to realize there are more important things in the world to worry about than whether his daughter collects something or not.

One day you'll get your own apartment or house and you can play with and display your dolls all over the place [img]smile.gif[/img]