Tiger's Caddy vs Lefty

Seems Steve Williams has gotten a wee bit too comfortable basking in the reflected glory of his boss.

Over the weekend, Williams, who's the caddy for one Tiger Woods, made headlines when he told the The Guardian that "I wouldn't call Mickelson a great player, because I hate the -----"

What did he call Phil? Well, I don't believe I can actually say it here. But let's put it this way -- you know what hurts? When you're sewing, and you prick your finger with the needle. Yeah. The word's in there. And no, Williams didn't call Mickelson a "finger."

Williams also recounted an anecdote from 2008 at Torrey Pines -- or maybe it was 2002 at Bethpage, Williams was a little uncertain on the details -- regarding a fan heckling Mickelson when Phil and Tiger were paired up. As Williams recalls, the fan shouted for Mickelson's attention. When Phil turned around, the fan hollered, "Nice ----" ... hmmm. Let's put it this way. You know when you hit somebody, and then they hit you back, and it's called "tit-for-tat"? Yeah, the word's in there. And no, the guy didn't say Phil had "nice tats."

Mickelson's crew quickly shot back with a statement: "After seeing Steve Williams' comments all I could think of was how lucky I am to have a class act like Bones (Mickelson's caddy Jim MacKay) on my bag and representing me." Mickelson's team also refuted the "nice tats" story, saying it was about a European Tour player (my guess: Colin Montgomerie), not Mickelson.

After the article ran, the Star-Times sought out Williams for clarification. He owned up to his comments, and offered up this gem: "I don't particularly like the guy myself. He pays me no respect at all and hence I don't pay him any respect." Dude. You're the caddy. He's the talent. Nobody in the history of the world ever tuned in to a golf tournament to watch the caddies at work. Perspective, fella.

(It'll be interesting to see how His Tigerness handles this, considering he reportedly fired his previous caddy, Fluff Cowan, for carving out too high of a public profile.)

I can think of only one way to settle this: Caddy Cage Match. Lock Williams and Bones in a steel cage on the 17th at Sawgrass and let 'em go at it. Come on, tell me you wouldn't rather watch that than yet another installment of the Greater Greensboro Open.

And if that doesn't work, somebody remind Williams who's the player and who's the hired help.