The Story I Was Going To Post 3 Months Ago

Scrappers

I can feel the sweat rushing off my face like a fucking river. I can feel the intense strain on my muscles. I can feel the cool rush of blood flowing from somewhere on my body. But none of this will make me give up. None of this will make me quit. I take a swing and watch as it lands hard against my opponent?s face. I hear my so-called manager, Justin behind me cheering me on to deliver another one. I?ve known my opponent for about seventeen years. He?s one of my closest friends. Everyone calls him Lost. It?s because all through our school years all the teachers considered him to be a Lost Cause. But none of that matters, here, now. He throws a haymaker at me and I quickly bend my back far enough so that he just swings all the way around. As I come up I make contact with his ribcage. I hear him cringe, I hear a snap. This fight?s been going on for nearly three minutes now and it?s about to be over. He stumbles back and as he comes up all he has time to see is my fist flying directly at his face, full thrust. I hit him and I hit him hard. He actually lifts about a foot into the air before coming back down to the ground. He doesn?t move, but he?s breathing. That?s a good sign. Especially here. I turn back toward Justin and smile. I then look out into the crowd and raise my hands. A cheer erupts forth from them. They praise what I?ve done to my best friend. They cheer for the fact that someone was hurt here tonight. They smile at the fact that they saw exactly what they came here to see.
My name is Thomas. I?m what most people know as a scrapper. Usually I just pick fights with the local idiots. Drunks who think they?re as tough as nails, but too stupid to realize they haven?t a chance in hell of defeating me. I?ve only been beaten once. I let my guard down for a moment and the next thing I knew I woke up in a hospital. But when it comes to this type of shit, these things happen. My knuckles are covered in blood, a little of it?s mine, most of it is Lost?s. His manager is already seeing to having him taken to the hospital. Mine?s ready to congratulate me and tell me about my next fight.
I got into this underground boxing thing about four years ago. I didn?t fight regularly until about a year ago. Now twice a week I?m in here, fighting not only for a win, but also for my life. I?ve seen guys twice as big as me walk in here and never leave. Scary thought, but these things happen. I work at a corporation, and so far they haven?t seemed very pleased with me walking in there all busted up. But no one there really has the guts to say anything to me. Afraid of what I might do to them.
Society is full of people who are like that. Someone walks in with a black eye it?s immediately believed that they were in a fight. Rumors run rampant and suddenly they?re a woman abuser. But for me, they just think I?m a drunk who likes to pick fights at the local bars. It?s not true, but I?d much rather have that tag than to be thought of as someone who hits women.
?Holy shit, man! You fucked him up!? Justin screams at me over the roar of the pleased crowd.
?Yeah,? I say as I start to walk out of the ring. Justin stands behind me, scanning me over wondering why I?m not estatic about winning this fight.
?I know that you know him-? he calls out to me. But I cut him off before he can finish the next sentence.
?He?s my best friend,? I turn just in time to see Justin?s eyes widen. He finally realizes that I won?t let anything or anyone come between me and a fight.
When you let your life become a fight, you can never escape it. You come to realize that the only way you?ll stop fighting is if you die. And sometimes at night, when I?m alone and there?s nothing but me, the stars, and God, I often wonder when Death will come for me. I come back here because I can?t escape it. It?s both my destiny and my fate. I?m alive when I?m here, and I?ll die here, I?ve come to accept this.
I walk back into the filthy green walled room where I can take a moment and relax. I?ve had three fights tonight, the first one I just knocked the kid unconscience. The second I think I broke a few of the guy?s bones. And the third I sent my best friend to the hospital. When you find yourself getting tired you find yourself getting angry. And when you get angry your adreniline begins to pump and every swing you take is twice as powerful as those you took earlier in the night. I don?t feel sorry for Lost and I don?t regret what I did, but I do wish he wouldn?t have challenged me. I knew the outcome of this fight long before it began. Tomorrow I?ll go see him at the hospital and he?ll tell me he wants a rematch. I?ll refuse and let him think he?s won the argument of the fight. Better to heal than to never wake up.
Justin walks into the Green Room with his girlfriend Mieke on his arm. ?Hey champ!? she calls out to me.
?How you doin?, Mieke?? I ask her as I wipe the sweat off me with a white towel. When I pull it away and look at it I can see patches of new blood stains. That?s not good.
?I?m doing good. Not as good as you. That was one hell of a third match,? she says as she pulls Justin in closer to her. I shoot her a smile and then lean back on the table and retreat to my own thoughts for awhile. I hear the two of them talking and then she laughs. They?re about to kiss, that?s my cue to leave.
?You two take it easy, I?m going home for the night,? I tell them as I jump to my feet.
?You gonna fight Friday night?? Justin asks me removing his lips from her?s for only long enough to say that.
?We?ll see. I?ll give you a call tomorrow,? I grab my clothes out of the locker and quickly dress. I walk out and into the empty stands. I look at the ring, it?s not the best looking of things but it does serve its purpose. I walk by it and see where Lost?s blood is. A frightening thought then occurs to me, one day someone will walk by here and they?ll see my blood, only I?ll be dead. A chill runs up my spine and I quickly make my retreat to the streets outside.
We?ve got a deal worked out with the police. They usually attend the fights and they get a share of the profits and they let us do this. They also keep a tight lid on what happens if someone dies. Four nights ago someone died, he was a hell of a fighter, most people who walked into the ring with him wound up losing. Lost hit him so hard that he knocked his teeth a few centimeters back into his mouth. But he also killed him. The cops covered it up by saying that he was mugged in a nearby alley. I wonder what story they?ll come up with for me?
As I walk down the street I look at a few people. They?re completely oblivious to what happens right under their own goddamned noses. They?re so content with their luxuries of life that they don?t ever take a chance, they don?t even risk anything. I see Bjorn and Kenneth?s cop car parked on the street. They?re in the store buying up some goodies. These are two of the cops that take care of the fights. These two are good cops with good reputations, but even they enjoy watching two people beat the shit out of each other. They?re in the store buying up some eats to try and make the night go by a little quicker. I walk in and they turn and smile.
?You put on a good show tonight, Thomas,? Bjorn says to me as he raises a twinkie to toast me.
?Thanks. Is Lost gonna be alright?? I ask them.
?He?s pretty fucked up. You definitely knocked some common sense into him. But the paramedics said a few stitches and some rest and he?ll be as good as new,? Kenneth tells me as he pulls out a One Liter Mountain Dew.
?Good.?
?Where are you off too?? Bjorn asks.
?Home, I?m tired and in need of a shower,? I say as I wave to them.
?Take it easy and good luck, Friday!? Kenneth says as he grabs hold of a few Slim Jims.
?You too,? I walk out and back into the night.

Southland Alley?s

?Look man, I just need enough to get me through two days. I?ll have the money for you on Sunday, I swear!? Ralf says to Brian.
?I fronted you two weeks ago and you still owe me for that shit man. Until you get me the money you already owe, fuck off,? Brian says as he puts a small bag of white powder into his coat. Ralf looks at him angrily.
?I fucking paid you that money! Two hundred is all you said and I got you two hundred the next damn day! It?s not my fault that you only have an eighth grade education and don?t know how in the fuck to count!? he screams.
?Keep your fucking voice down. You still owe me twenty, there was only one eighty in that fuckin? wad you gave me. Now you get me that other twenty or else I?m gonna make you taste your fuckin? balls,? Brian says as he pushes Ralf backwards. Ralf looks at him, his hands and arms shaking out of frustration.
?You son of a bitch!? Ralf screams as he turns around and walks away.

Street

Ralf walks down the street cursing at Brian under his breath. As he walks behind a few hookers looking for dates he suddenly sees a car pull up and the blue and red lights start to flash. Ralf stops and throws his arms up and slams them back down to his sides.
?What the fuck do you guys want? I ain?t got nothin? on me!? Ralf says a little pissed off to be stopped again.
?Yeah, well whenever we find your ass walking around here we know you?ve either got it on you or you?re trying to get it,? Kenneth begins. ?So why don?t you just save us both the trouble and get in the back seat.?
?Fuck you, I ain?t done nothin?,? Ralf tells him.
Bjorn then steps out of the car and pulls out his night stick. He twirls it around in an attempt to intimidate Ralf. Ralf looks at him and then pulls out his pockets, which are empty.
?Could be in your socks,? Bjorn says smuggly.
?Fuck it is,? Ralf replies.
?I think I?ll check it out, just in case you know,? Bjorn says as he gets right up in Ralf?s face.
?Fine,? Ralf sits down and pulls off his shoes and then takes off his socks. He holds them and makes a rather sarcastic face. ?Satisfied??
?If I ever see you back down here, Ralf, I?m going to become your shadow and if you so much as even jaywalk I?ll haul your ass in, you get me?? Bjorn threatens. Ralf puts his shoes back on and pockets his socks. He stands up and looks Bjorn right in his eyes.
?Yeah, I get you. Fuckin? cops always harrassing an innocent man,? Ralf says as he begins to walk away from them.
?You?re about as innocent as O.J.,? Bjorn says as he walks back to his car. ?Just remember what I said, Ralf. You fuck up one more time and you?re life is over.?
Bjorn climbs back into his car and it pulls away. Ralf shakes his head and begins his long walk home.

Ally?s

The bar is quiet tonight. Usually after the fight the attending flood into here and discuss the events they had just witnessed. It always makes me laugh to listen to how everyone has a different story of the same fight they just witnessed. My name?s Ally. This is my bar. It may not do the best of business but it keeps me financially stable. Right now there's the usual drunk at the end of the bar, some business looking woman at the other end, and my friend Maryann right in front of me. She and I don?t go to the fights, we just wait until they?re over to see who won.
?How much longer we gotta wait?? Maryann asks me.
I look down at my watch. ?Twenty ? five minutes,? I tell her.
?Jesus, you?d think the people would just come straight here after the fight, but no, they?ve got to stand around outside of the place discussing about where to go when they always come here anyway. Bunch of fuckin? morons,? she says sarcastically.
?Hey, nothing wrong with a midnight happy hour. They come in here, buy about three to five drinks each and then go home. They don?t make a big mess, they never fight, and the companies good,? I tell her as I get her another beer.
She opens it and looks at the only other two customers in here. ?When are you going to shut this dump down and get a good bar uptown somewhere??
?I hate the yuppies uptown. Bunch of rich fuckers that think they?re better than everyone else,? I tell her. She laughs at this. She?s married to an uptown yuppie named Chris. I?ve met him, he?s not quite as bad as the other uptowner?s, but he?s not too good either. He?s got a twin brother named Justin, but most know of him as Lost. He?s one of us, he?s from the rough neighborhoods, he?s a scrapper. Maryann and I are hoping that he won the fight tonight. He was going up against someone, he wouldn?t tell us who though. I think it might have been Ivano or Matthew, hope so, I know he can kick their asses. I move down towards the end of the bar and begin to wipe off a wet spot that a beer left from earlier when a couple walks in. They have a seat next to Maryann and smile at her.
?How you doin?, Maryann?? the man asks her.
?I?m good, Justin. How about you?? she politely says.
?I?m fuckin? great. My boy won all three fights tonight!? Justin hollers out.
?Who?s your boy?? I ask him.
?Thomas, best damn fighter this cities ever seen,? he says with a smile.
My eyes go wide as do Maryann?s. We?ve heard about Thomas, we know that he?s one of the best. And there are only three fights per night. But I had also heard that Thomas and Lost are best friend?s, always have been. He wouldn?t hurt him, would he?
?What happened to Lost?? Maryann asks very anxious for the answer.
?He went to the hospital. He?s got a cracked rib and a few bruises and cuts. He?ll be fine,? Mieke tells her.
?Fine? If he?s in the fucking hospital he won?t be fine!? Maryann screams at her.
?Look, Maryann, he could be dead. Be thankful that he isn?t,? Justin tells her standing up for the girl, Mieke.
?Why would Lost and Thomas fight anyway?? I ask thinking that they are friends.
?When you?re in the ring you have an opponent, that?s all there is to it. His manager came up to me and asked to fight Thomas. At first I told him no, but he insisted and waved fifteen grand in my face. I don?t turn down money, not for anyone. It could have just as easily been Thomas in the hospital,? Justin says to me. ?So can I get a beer? I do have a victory to celebrate.?
I wait a few seconds staring him in the eye. I don?t like what I?ve heard, but this man has done nothing wrong enough for me to toss him and his girlfriend out on their asses. I move over to the tap and pour him a mug of beer. I hand it too him and he thanks me. We all stay there without making so much as a sound. Tension is high right now and no one wants to piss anyone else off.

Thomas? Home

I open the door and look at my dark apartment. I make my way over to the kitchen but not before slamming my ankle into the leg of the couch. I let out a scream and quite a few obseneties. I hobble my way to the fridge, grab a beer and make my way over to my recliner. I sit and don?t bother to turn on the lights. I just open my beer and take a swig. Everyone always wants me to join them at the bar after the fights and celebrate. But I never go, I can?t see celebrating a victory of hurting someone. So I sit here, alone, left to nothing but my thoughts and bruises. Waiting for the next fight. I don?t even care about going in to work anymore, I just want the next day of fighting to come. But after tonight, after having to hurt my best friend, I don?t know if I really want to climb back into the ring. I don?t know if I can handle it. But subconsciencly, in the back of my mind, I know I?ll be back in there, fighting to win, fighting to survive.
I take another drink of my beer. I?m still wondering about Death. Wondering who will remember me, wondering whether or not I will have a legacy to pass on. Wondering who I may inspire to fight or to never fight again. Right now a lot of people look at me and tell me what a good fighter I am. But I?m not a fighter. Fighter?s fight for money, fighter?s fight to make their lives profitable. Me, I?m a Scrapper, just like everyone else who steps foot into that ring. We fight for the fight, we fight because it?s our way of life, it?s our addiction. We fight to live and we fight to die.
As I take a deep breath in the phone rings, it startles me and I jerk striaght up and then remember the pain I felt earlier. I move my hand down and and across my side and feel blood. That?s gonna really fuckin? hurt in the morning. I pick up the phone.
?Hello?? I ask, a little pain seeping through my voice.
?Hi,? a woman?s voice says to me. It?s Lori. She was at one point my girlfriend, but she couldn?t take me fighting all the time. So she dumped me. We?ve remained friends over the years but I could care less about her friendship. I always made a better lover than a friend. And when it comes to her, I want her in a way that I cannot have.
?How you doing?? I ask as I light up a cigarette.
?I?m good. What about you? How?d your fight go?? her voice is getting a little more tempremental. She?s pissed, this isn?t a good sign.
?I?m doing okay, got a little injury but nothing that?ll kill me. I won all three tonight,? I say not caring to have this conversation again.
?Lost is in the Hospital, something about a mugging, I?m sure you know the truth though,? this is what I didn?t want to hear from her.
?I know where he is. I put him there,? as I tell her this I can almost hear her in my mind grinding her teeth.
?He?s your best friend and you put him in the fuckin? hospital?? she screams at me.
?It?s all part of the life we?ve chosen to lead.?
?Fuck you it is! You could have turned down the fight!? I have to pull the phone away from my ear as she screams this.
?No, this is my life, Lori. Something you walked away from,? I say in a calm voice. I take another swig of my beer before she yells again.
?I had no choice-.? I cut her off.
?Yes? you did,? I then hang up the phone. She?ll call back, it?ll ring for awhile and eventually she?ll tire of waiting for me to pick up and just finish yelling at me when she sees me tomorrow. I hate my life.
I finish the beer and the cigarette and stand up. A quick shower and then off to bed to dream of a world where I don?t have to fight, where I don?t have to die.

Thomas? Work

I stroll in at least ten minutes late. Everyone?s looking at me, they don?t see any bruises on my face, which is a good thing. But looking at my knuckles they know that I was in a fight last night. I shoot a few of them looks and they quickly turn their heads. Uptown fuckin? cowards. As I get to my desk I find a note from my boss, Jan, waiting for me. I pick it up and throw it away. I walk back to the elevator and take it up to the fourth floor, Kelly?s sitting at her desk typing away at her computer. She looks over at me and her eyes get wide and quickly turn back to the screen. Something?s wrong. Kelly is not only Jan?s secretary but she?s also his girlfriend. Guess that?s one way to get a promotion.
?Is he in?? I ask her without much enthusiasm.
She doesn?t look up at me. ?Yeah, he?s waiting for you, Thomas,? she says quietly almost not wanting to be heard. I shake my head and open his door. He?s on the phone.
?I?ll have to call you back,? he hangs up the phone and looks over at me with a disappointing look. ?Have a seat, Thomas,? he says as I walk over to the chair in front of his desk.
?What do you want, Jan?? I ask a little angry that I?m even here. I know what?s coming, all I have to do now is put up with the beat around the bush bullshit.
?Do you like working here?? he asks me with all the subtelty of Martha Stewart talking about interior design.
?Yeah, it?s not bad,? I say staring at him with a I don?t give a shit look.
?You?ve been late six days out of the past three weeks. You?ve left early two of those days, and your work load has seemed to take a severe decline. Is there something you care to share with me, Thomas?? I know he wants to know about the bruises, he wants to hear about my social life. He can go fuck himself for all I care.
?Nothing you need to know,? I know my rights.
?A lot of your co ? workers have been coming to me wondering about why you always walk in here like you just went ten rounds with a Mack Truck. Care to explain them??
?A lot of my so called co ? workers need to learn how to mind their own fucking business,? my look still hasn?t changed, he knows he?s not getting under my skin.
?Yes, well they are affecting several members of this company and I am going to need to know about them so that I may determine your fate with this establishment,? threats, he actually reduced himself to threats. I could have his fucking job for this, but honestly, I hate office work.
?Yes, Jan. All the little rumors you hear of me fighting are true,? this peaks his curiousity.
?You fight a lot?? he asks.
?Twice a week, sometimes three times if work pisses me off enough,? this gets a chuckle out of him. I can see this is more than just simple curiousity, he wants to know, he wants to see. ?Why don?t you come down there with me? I?ll bring you in the ring and beat the shit out of you for awhile and then you can walk back in here and hold your head up proud. You can be the little Uptown Yuppie Fucker that went slumming for a night and got his assed handed to him on a silver fuckin? platter. Is that what you?re after?? well, that pissed him off.
?I?m firing you, Thomas,? he says trying to sound like a badass.
?No shit?? I say sarcastically. ?Well do you still want me to beat the shit out of you?? I ask him, I really really want to fight him.
?You have ten minutes to clear out your desk and be out of the building or else I?ll have to have security escort you out,? he?s still making threats.
?You know what the problem is with you, Jan?? this he isn?t going to like one bit.
?What?s that?? he asks in a hostile tone.
?You?re a fuckin? coward. Right now you?re about to wet your pants because you know what I just said is true. Shit, you?ve got your hand ready to reach for that phone in case I stand up and decide to beat the Hell out of you right here and now. You?re a pussy, you?re an Uptown fuckin? Pussy. You strong arm your secretary into screwing you, you keep everyone here on a short leash, except me, because I?m the only one here who didn?t grow up able to use daddy?s money, who didn?t get put through college, who doesn?t have a fuckin? house in the hills and two or more luxury cars to drive around. I?m what real life is all about, you want to be me, you wish every night that you could be me, it?s why you?ve kept me around. But when it comes right down to it, you could never even be close to me or anyone down on the South Side. You?ll always be a pussy, Jan. A high priced pussy,? I stand and watch him flinch. I turn around and start to walk away.
?But at least I still have a job,? he?s still trying to win this.
?And you hide behind it. You?re too afraid to look at the real world, Jan. You?re so afraid to experience life that you?ve given up your own for a job that you and I both know you hate and isn?t worth it,? with that I open the door and leave. I pass by Kelly?s desk and stop.
?Why don?t you just leave, Kelly? Forget him, forget this job, and just leave?? I ask her.
?Why don?t you mind your own business,? wow, she put me in my place.
?Well, if you think that being his secretarial fuck buddy for the next five years is worth it, then more power to you. Take care of yourself,? I walk away from her, take the elevator down to the main floor and leave. I didn?t have anything at my desk, I didn?t expect to be here this long. The sun is shining, the air is a little frigid, but all in all, it?s looking to be a good day.

Gym

There?s a boxing ring in the gym. Right now Matthew and Ivano are Scrapping. My name?s Brandi, this is my place. This is where the Scrapper?s come to train. This is where I learn before anyone else who can win and who doesn?t stand a chance. Matthew and Ivano are two very good Scrapper?s, but they care too much. It?s why they?ve only won a handful of fights each. If you plan on making your life a fight, then you have to remember that there is nothing else out there for you. All you?ve got is winning a fight, nothing more, nothing less. It?s how you survive. Ben stands over in Matthew?s corner. He?s a little pissed, apparently Matthew?s swing has been lacking as of late. He?s either throwing too soon and too high, or not throwing high enough and to late. Ivano?s looking really good though. He?s really come into his own since his last bout with Lost. I guess it kind of puts things in perspective when you?re lying on your stomach because of a broken back. But that was three years ago and since then Ivano?s been looking to get even with Lost. Of course that all changed last night. I was surprised that Thomas actually fought, no one believed that he would. Guess that guy really does lack morals.
?Hey, Ben, come here real quick will you?? I yell over to him. He saunters over to me, a little pissed off.
?What?s up, Brandi?? he asks me in his own rather charming way. I say that with full sarcasm.
?I?ve got to cancel your workout for tomorrow. Something?s come up,? I tell him quietly. No need for the Scrapper?s to hear this.
?What?s wrong?? his tone changes from don?t give a shit to worried.
?My girlfriend?s coming into town early. I?ve got to meet her at the airport and pick her up. I?ve shifted you over two days from now, hope that?s not too much trouble,? I can see in his eyes that it is an inposition. But fuck him, I haven?t seen my baby in almost ten months.
?No, it?s okay, hey do me a favor, work with this fuckin? loser for a few minutes. I need to make a call,? this isnt? a request, it?s a demand for fucking up his schedule.
?Okay,? I watch as he walks away and I move over to the ring. As soon as I get in, Ivano immideatly drops his guard and Matthew lands a hard right hook. I watch Ivano fall to the mat and I just smile.
?Oh shit, man! I?m fuckin? sorry! You okay?? Matthew says to Ivano. Ivano just sits up rubs his chin, gets to his feet and knocks Matthew on his ass. I shake my head.
?Men.?
?Yeah, it?s okay,? Ivano tells him as he helps him up. ?What?s shakin?, Brandi?? he asks me?
?Not much. Matthew, I want you to try something, jab, jab, right hook, left uppercut. You got that?? I ask him looking away from Ivano.
He looks at me like I?m an idiot or something but nods his head. ?Yeah, I?ll try it.?
I watch as he and Ivano get into their positions. Ivano?s got the strength, but Matthew?s got the speed. I watch as Ivano starts to take a swing but fakes and brings around his left arm to meet with Matthew?s ribs. Matthew cringes and pulls back. But just as Ivano and myself think he?s going back to the ropes he surprises us and shoots forward and in the span of five seconds he throws the two jabs, the right hook, the left uppercut, and brings down his fist to meet with the top of Ivano?s nose just to make sure that he goes down. I smile at my accomplishment and walk back out of the ring.
?You boys keep this up and I?ll be seeing you in a casket.?

Hospital

We?re all in Lost?s room, he?s doing okay. Took a few stitches just above his right eyebrow. He?s still in a little bit of pain but for the most part he?s in good spirits. Myself. Aurora, Chris, and Maryann are all in here with me. For the most part they?re just trying to keep a smile on his face. Everytime he laughs he cringes. It?s almost heartbreaking but I find it funny.
?Hey Lori, will you hand me that bottle of water over there?? Aurora asks pointing to the table behind me. I pick it up and hand it to her. This has got to be killing her. I?d hate to think of what her thoughts on Thomas are right now. She?d probably like to rip his throat out. Can?t say I blame her though, he should have known better than to go fighting with his best friend. Hell, he should have known better than to go fighting at all. Chris? cellphone rings and he pulls it out of his inside jacket pocket and answers it.
?Hello?? Yeah? No? Look? Look, I don?t give a shit what that little fuck has to say. This deal goes through or it?s your ass on the line!? he screams. Lost looks over at me and frowns. I love Lost to Death, but I seriously hate his fuckin? Yuppie brother. Maryann just lowers her head, embarassed at his actions. Chris finishes up his conversation and hangs up the phone. ?Sorry, Bro. Client?s not working out as I had planned,? he tells Lost with a my shit don?t stink grin on his face.
?It?s okay. I know how your work is,? Lost tells him a little uncomfortable at the whole situation.
I turn thinking about how badly I?d like a cigarette at this moment, but I quit four months ago. Just then the door opens up and in walks Thomas, not looking to proud of himself, which is good. Any other way and everyone would already be up in arms. They don?t want him here, and they expect me to be the one to tell him. I tap him on the shoulder and motion for him to follow me. He does and he closes the door behind him.
?You need to leave,? I say trying not to sound like a bitch.
?Why is that?? he asks me not sure as to the reason. I look him over, it?s genuine and that makes it all the more difficult for me to tell him.
?Because you?re his best friend, and you?re the reason he?s in here,? I lower my head as I say this, almost ashamed that these words are coming out of my mouth.
?I didn?t tell him to step into that ring,? he says to me, he sounds so sure of himself. Like he doesn?t even feel guilty for Lost being here, but I know that he does, even if he will never say it.
?These are the people who love him, they?re here to take care of him, they don?t need you going in there and causing a disturbance,? I tell him bluntly. I need to end this conversation and I need to end it quick, besides, I?m still pissed that he hung up on me last night. I watch as his face turns to an expression of sadness. He doesn?t say another word, just turns and leaves. As I watch him walk away I notice how his trench coat flows with every step. He looks like a forgotten man, he looks like a ghost. Why does this scare me?
I open the door and walk in. I see hope in Lost?s eyes that Thomas will be following me. I close the door quickly to tell him that he won?t be.
?Where?s he at?? Lost asks.
?He left,? I tell him quietly.
?Why? He didn?t want to see me?? Lost looks like he just lost his favorite puppy.
?It?s for the best,? Aurora tells him as she gently brushes his hair away from his eyes with her hand.
?He?s be my best friend,? Lost begins but is quickly cut off my Chris.
?He put you in the hospital. He?s not your best friend, hell, he?s not your friend at all?.
?Chris, shut up. You don?t know how things work around here. You?re always too involved in your Yuppie bullshit to even care to come see me unless there?s a chance I may not wake up the next morning!? I see the pain in Lost?s eyes. I guess Thomas hit him harder than he?s been letting on. He goes to say something else but retreats and slumps into the bed, gripping at his side. A tear rolls down Aurora?s cheek. Looks like Thomas made a disturbance whether he was present for it or not.

Ally?s Bar

It?s only two in the afternoon and already I have a customer walking in. He stops after walking in through the doorway. I stare him over, he remains perfectly still. He looks like someone who?s lost everything, like a walking ghost. He comes towards the bar and I notice how his trench coat flows with every step he takes. Eerie. He sits down at the bar and lights up a cigarette. He looks at me through sorrowful eyes and tries to smile through a pain I can?t describe. I walk over in front him, trying to remain as cheery as possible.
?What can I get for you, stranger?? I say with an enthusiastic tone.
?How about a shot of Maker?s Mark?? he asks quietly.
Whiskey, guys not looking for a drink, he?s looking to forget. ?One shot of Maker?s coming up,? I say reaching for the bottle.
?How about a double instead?? He asks without looking at me.
?Sure,? I say hesitantly. I pour the drink and set it in front of him. I watch as he studies it, swishes it around in the shot glass and then downs it. He doesn?t even flinch from the taste. I know that it?s smooth going down, but I?ve yet to meet someone who doesn?t look like they?ve just taken a taste of a lemon after gulping that down. He sets the glass back down on the bar and I move to refill it. He doesn?t stop me. I watch him polish off two more of these. He then douses out his cigarette in the ashtray and looks up at his reflection in the mirror. ?Something the matter, stranger?? I ask him.
?Ever looked into a mirror and not known who it is that?s staring back?? he questions me.
?No. Can?t say that I have. You okay Mister?? I ask.
?Yeah. Too many fights,? he stands up and pulls a fifty out of his pocket and lays it down on the bar. He then turns and walks out. I watch his trench coat sway until he?s completely out of the bar. I then look down the empty glass, wondering what he meant by that comment. ?Too many fights?, probably best that I don?t understand.

Desiree?s Palace

Quiant little store. Everything in here revolves around Medieval times. From the paintings to the sculptures to the weaponry and armor. It definitely gives one a false sense of security. I walk in expecting to see Desiree standing behind the counter talking her head off about this shit to some high school computer geek who favors his hand over a real woman. Instead I find David in here playing with a Broad Sword. A scary sight if I?ve ever seen one.
?Lori!? he calls out a little startled to see me.
?Hi, David. Where?s Desiree at?? I ask him.
?She?s in back, let me go get her real quick.?
He departs quickly into the back. I begin to browse around. Desiree?s been one of my best friends for years. She and I have done and gone through everything together. She was always there for me whenever I ran out on Thomas. I smile at the thought of how arogant I must have sounded when talking about how awful he was. I slide my hand up the blade of a Scottish Claymore. Thomas always favored this sword, it?s the only one he has left hanging in his apartment. He did away with the rest after I left him. Desiree comes out but doesn?t say anything to me. I don?t even notice that she?s watching me as I?m caught up with the memories of the past.
?Ahem,? she clears her throat to catch my attention. I quickly spin around and see her standing their smiling. ?Thomas? sword. He sold it to me about an hour ago,? she tells me in a whispered tone.
?What?? I say in disbelief.
?Something about you and Lost,? she says turning away from me. I know something?s up, but she doesn?t want to tell me anything.
?What about me and Lost?? I question her.
?I don?t know, he wouldn?t get into specifics. You know he doesn?t talk to me about you. Just said that it was time to let the past go,? she stares me straight in the eye, she?s not lying, but she?s not telling the full truth either. I decide it?s best not to pry.
?You want to go get some lunch?? I ask trying to change the subject. I look back at the sword and find that my hand is still touching it. I quickly pull back and look down at the ground.
?Sorry, hon. David and I already made plans. How about tomorrow?? she says trying to blow me off.
?Maybe, we?ll see what?s going on,? I tell her as I turn and quickly take my leave. Outside I hurriedly walk down the street and duck behind a small Oriental Resteraunt and begin to cry into my hands. He?s trying to completely write me out of his life. Maybe that explains the hang up last night. And I crushed him this morning, Jesus. I?ve got to find him.

Thomas? Home

It?s quiet. It?s always quiet. Has been ever since she left. Doesn?t matter now though. Nothing matters anymore. Linkin Park?s ?In The End? is blaring away on the stereo. I take the final drag off my cigarette and toss it out the window. I stare out the window to the place across the street. Guys beating his wife again. It?s become a regular routine anymore. He beats her, she calls the cops, then gets angry and starts hitting the officers when they try to arrest him. One day though, they?re going to stop coming around and she?ll wind up in a coroners bag. That?s the way it works in this city. If it?s already bad, it can only get worse.
The phone starts ringing, I don?t even move. When the machine picks up I realize that I haven?t changed the message. It?s still mine and Lori?s voice on it, laughing so hard that you can barely make out her saying leave a message. I hear the beep and then hear her voice. The last fucking thing I needed tonight.
?Thomas, are you there? If you?re there pick up. Please. I need to talk to you. Why?d you get rid of your sword? Well, if you get back in call me,? her voice is sad. I take a drink of my beer and shake my head. I finish it off quickly and grab my coat and leave.

Inclosed Parking Garage

The smell of sweat and blood floods your nose when you walk in. The echoing of cheering and cringing can be heard all around. The yelling of two managers screaming at their fighters to do better tells you instantly where you are. I walk in, nearly unnoticed. Kenneth turns around and smiles.
?Thought you weren?t fighting until tomorrow?? he asks me.
?Still am,? I say as I walk by him. Bjorn grabs hold of my arm.
?You okay?? he asks in an almost I give a shit voice.
?I will be.?
I walk over to the ring and look up at Ben. He?s pissed off, he?s always pissed off. His fighter rarely ever wins a fight. Ivano and Matthew, neither one of them are top contenders, but they like to think they are and they try their hearts out in an attempt to actually make it. No one really ever fights them, David went a few rounds with Ivano a few years back. Left him with a broken back. But that?s life. I can feel the front rows eyes on me. This isn?t my night, they know it, and they?re all curious as to whether or not I?ll be stepping into the ring. I see my own manager across the ring. I give him a heads up and he smiles. He knows what?s coming, and he knows that it will bring him in money, whether I win or not. Matthew makes a stupid mistake and looks down at me. Ivano takes advantage of the situation and delivers a hard right hook to his face. Matthew stumbles backwards and hits the ropes before falling to the ground. A quick count is given and the fight is over. It?ll be another twenty seconds before Matthew wakes up. Ivano looks down at me in disgust. He knows why he just won this fight, it doesn?t please him to not have truly earned the victory. He?s always wanted to fight me, always thought he was better than me. I intend to give him the chance to prove it tonight.
Justin jumps up and enters the ring. He grabs hold of the microphone and everyone goes quiet. ?Ladies and Gentlemen and all you other Punker Sluts, in five minutes time, just enough time for the betting to take place, we?re going to bring you a special main event. Ivano versus Thomas,? he gives him top billing. I like that. I almost smile at it. Almost. Everyone quickly begins rushing around trying to place their bets. I watch as Matthew?s pulled from the ring and drug outside the crowd. Kenneth and Bjorn give me a nod to tell me good luck. I remove my shirt and climb into the ring.
?Finally decided to take on a real fighter?? Ivano gloats. I just look at him for a moment and turn back to Justin. Mieke?s joined him outside the ring and she smiles at me.
?You really gonna fight him?? she asks.
I nod my head. ?Yeah.?
?Good luck,? she kisses Justin on the cheek and returns to her seat.
?My boy doesn?t need luck,? Justin comments as he follows her back. My hands are taped, I hate fighting with taped hands. Ivano?s already dripping sweat, but he?s completely pumped and primed. Had he not been this would have been an easy fight and win for me.
The bell goes off and Ivano comes out dancing. He does a full circle around me and swings a punch. It lands square and it lands hard, right into my left cheekbone. Nothing breaks, which is good. I hear the crowd awing like this is some fucking movie. He throws another punch, this one?s lower and connects with my abdomen. Doesn?t really phase me but it?s enough to make me take a step back. He hits me three more times, once in the chest, once in the back of the head, and the third lands with my left cheek again. That one might leave a bruise in the morning. He then swings hard and out far, it clips me and I begin to spin around. He draws in a little closer, his first and last mistake. I come back around, full force placed into my right arm and hand. I come up from under his chin, this is going to be bad. I connect and connect with complete ferocity. The hit lifts him off the ground a good three feet. He lands hard on the mat and bounces a couple of times before finally coming to a halt. I watch as the blood trickles from his mouth. I already know he?s dead.
Kenneth and Bjorn stare down at his corpse. They then look up to me as if to say ?Good job?. I don?t say anything to either one. I?ll read about a body being discovered somewhere in this rotting cesspool of a city tomorrow, it?ll be clean and to the point. A perfect cover up. But everyone in the circuit will know what really transpired. No one will say a thing because they all know, when you step into the ring, these are the consequences you are willing to take.
I walk off and start tearing the tape off my hands. Justin and Mieke run up beside me. ?That was a hell of a fight,? Justin says in a tone I?ve never heard him speak in before.
?It wasn?t a fight at all,? I tell him as I keep up my pace.
?You just killed a man,? Mieke exclaims.
?Yeah,? my tone hasn?t changed all night. I?m neither excited nor sad for what happened. They both know this all to well, and it scares them.
?You still fighting tomorrow?? Justin asks.
I don?t say anything for a good fifteen steps, then I stop and turn to them both. ?Yeah?. Mieke didn?t expect to hear this answer.
?Why? So you can kill someone else?? she screams.
?When you make this your life, Mieke, it also becomes your death. Everyone who walks into that ring knows this. Sooner or later it?s going to happen to us all,? I then turn and continue on my way. Neither of them follow me.

Ally?s Bar

I look down at my watch. Lori?s sitting in the bar with me sipping on a Daquari. ?This isn?t right,? I say out loud.
?What isn?t?? she asks me.
?It?s midnight. There was a fight tonight, the entire crowd should be in here,? I tell her sounding a little worried that they might have gone somewhere else.
?Maybe it?s not over,? she tries offering comfort.
?No, they?re always in here by now after a fight. There?s only been one time when they weren?t?.
?When was that?? she asks trying to make conversation.
?Back when Lost killed a guy,? they don?t believe in celebrating a death.
?Who was fighting tonight??
?Ivano and Matthew. You don?t think they-,? I stop there not wanting to finish the sentence. Just then a youngish couple walks in and takes a seat at the bar. They have the stink of sweat and blood on them. I know where they?ve been. ?Who won the fight?? I ask them.
The woman just looks at me and then back down to the bar counter. The man stares at me for a few seconds then shakes his head. ?Ivano knocked Matthew out,? he begins.
?Well that?s good. He deserves a win,? I say excitedly.
?Then Ivano fought Thomas,? I watch as Lori spits out her drink and looks over at him, her eyes held wide open.
?What happened?? she asks angrily.
?Ivano?s dead. One punch. None of us would believe it if we hadn?t seen it for ourselves,? the man quietly states.
I choke on the next words I want to say. I see Lori?s eyes well up. I think she knew Thomas. She?s been in here a few times but never said much. Just made minor chit chat and then went about the rest of her day. She quickly downs the drink and storms out. I want to run after her, but I find myself lost in thought. I can?t believe it. First Lost, now Ivano. God help us.

The Hospital

It?s been quiet in this room for too long. Occasionally a nurse or the doctor will come in checking up on me, but it?s never anyone I want to be here. Nothing?s on TV and it?s too cold out to crack open the window and sneak a cigarette. The handle on the door starts turning. I stare at it praying that it?s not another one of these quacks. Lori steps in and silently closes the door behind her. A look of horror has set on her face, this can?t be a good visit.
?What?s wrong?? I say trying to sit up. She quickly moves to the side of my bed and crouches down. She grabs my hand and squeezes it tightly.
?Where would Thomas go after a fight?? she asks me in a discomforting seriousness.
?To his house, why?? I ask her as I put my hand on her shoulder. A feeble attempt to calm her nerves.
?Ivano?s dead,? she whispers as though she doesn?t want to be heard.
I don?t say anything for a few moments, I just let that sink in. ?Thomas did it?? I question her.
She nods her head, I can see her tears beginning to well up inside. ?I need to go to him.?
?Why did he kill, Ivano?? I ask.
?It was during a fight,? is all she says to me.
?He wasn?t supposed to fight tonight,? I tell her.
?I don?t know anything about the fights. I just heard that he killed Ivano.?
?He?s that angry, huh?? I ask already knowing the answer.
?I don?t know. I?ve just got to find him,? she says as she leans back and prepares to stand up. I watch her through thoughtful eyes. Of all the people and all the things I expected tonight, this is by far not one of them. I think for a few moments, hoping that the answer of where he is will just spring into my mind and I?ll be able to tell her, but I draw a blank.
?The best chance you have of finding him is at the fight tomorrow night,? I say as my voice cracks. I know it?s the one answer she doesn?t want to hear. I watch as she walks over to the door. She stops and turns back to me.
?Why is he doing this??
?Because he?s lost everything in his life and has nothing to live for,? I whisper just loud enough for her to hear. She breaks out into tears and walks out. I know that she hasn?t a chance in hell of finding him tonight, but I still say a slient prayer in hopes that she does.

David?s House

I watch as Desiree sleeps softly on the couch. The TV is turned down low and everything seems peaceful. It?s a nice change. I take a drink of my beer and lean back in my chair. The doorbell suddenly rings as I just begin to get comfortable. I knew that was going to happen. I leap up not wanting them to ring it again and wake up Desiree.
When I open the door I see Matthew standing there, he looks pissed off. I wave my hand for him to come in and quickly put my finger to my mouth, hoping he?ll take the hint and keep it quiet. He walks in and I motion for him to go over to the dining room. I grab my beer off the table next to my chair and get one for him out of the fridge. He opens it quickly and begins to down it. Something?s wrong.
?What?s up?? I ask him in a whispered tone.
?You hear about the fight tonight?? he asks a little louder than me but still acceptable.
?No, what happened??
?Thomas showed up and cheated me out of a win,? he keeps it calm when he says this. That?s a very bad sign.
?What do you mean?? I ask not understanding his statement.
?He distracted me and Ivano got the upper hand. Hit me hard as a fuckin? rock and knocked me out cold,? he begins, ?and that?s not the worst of it.?
I take a drink of my beer and pull my pack of cigarette?s out of my shirt pocket. I offer him one and he gladly takes it. I light mine and watch as he lights his. I pull the ashtray over towards us and exhale the first puff. ?So what?s the worst part??
?He got in the ring afterwards and fought, Ivano,? I cut him off.
?What?s so bad about that??
?He killed him.?
I almost choke on the smoke and have to lean back to keep from going into a coughing fit. ?What?!?
?One fuckin? punch,? he says shaking his head in disbelief.
?Just one?? I ask also not wanting to believe it. I know Thomas is tough, but I never imagined he was that tough.
?Yeah. Landed right under his jaw. Lord knows what he actually did to him, but we?ll be reading about in the papers tomorrow. Some guy found dead in some back alley, probably due to the high crime rate and low police protection. This cities fucked up,? he tells me and then quickly takes another drag off his cigarette.
?Jesus, one fuckin? punch,? I say still in disbelief.
?Yeah. Ivano was my friend. He deserved better than to die by that bastards fist. I?m gonna fight him, David,? as soon as he tells me this my head snaps up and I stare at him directly in the eyes.
?You don?t want to do that, Matthew,? I quickly say not wanting this conversation to go on any longer than it already has.
?I can beat the son of a bitch,? he?s full of confidence. No brains, but a lot of confidence.
?Thomas comes from way back. He?s been doing this all his life. You?re newer to the game, take on someone else, hell wait until Lost heals and take him on. He?s fuckin? tough as nails but-,? he then cuts me off.
?But he?s not Thomas.?
?That?s kind of the point,? I say as I shake my head.
?I want Thomas. I talked to Justin tonight, he?s setting it all up for tomorrow night. I?m going to fight him, David. And I?m going to win,? there?s that confidence again.
I realize that there?s no way to talk him out of this, so I try another approach, I try to scare it out of him. ?And if he lands a punch on you? What happens? You leave a son and a fiance whom you?re planning on marrying in two months behind because you?re in the grave. That?s always a good plan of action.?
?I?m not going to lose,? he says sternly.
?And what makes you think you?ll win?? Desiree asks. I hadn?t realized she?d woken up. I don?t even know how long she?s been standing against the wall.
Matthew turns and stares at her. ?Because I have every reason in the world to do so.?
?He isn?t some punk kid, he?s the epitimy of what a Scrapper is. All those people who come to fights, they don?t come to see you, they didn?t come to see Ivano, they don?t come to see Lost, and they sure as hell didn?t come to see David. They were there because of Thomas. They always know what they?re getting when he fights. You can fight him, but there?s not a chance in Hell you?ll win,? Desiree says as she takes a seat at the table. I like her method of talking him out of it too. She?s very good.
?Yeah? Why do you think that?? he asks her with a true wanting to know.
?Because he?s lost everything and he can?t lose anymore.?
?Yes he can. He can still lose his life,? Matthew says quickly. No one else speaks up. We just sit there, staring at one another.

Thomas? Apartment

I knock on the door furiously. It takes six minutes but finally the doorknob begins to rattle and the door suddenly flies open. Ralf stands there, groggy as ever, looking like he?s coming down from one of his highs. I don?t say anything at first, I wait until he?s able to realize who it is standing in front of him. ?Lori?? he says wiping his left eye.
?Where?s Thomas?? I ask him.
?I don?t know. He left a few hours ago. Hasn?t been back. Why?? he says as he moves out of the way so I can enter.
I take a step inside the door. ?I?ve got to find him.?
?I thought you two broke up?? he stupidly asks.
?That doesn?t mean I don?t care about him. Look, you?re his new roommate, didn?t he tell you where he was going?? I ask angrily.
?Nope. He never does. Hell I?ve been living with him for two months and he rarely speaks a word to me,? I know this is true.
?Well if you see him, tell him I need to talk to him right away. I?ve got my cell phone on me,? I say as I turn around. I walk out and quickly make my way down the stairs and onto the street. He?s got to be somewhere.

Justin?s Home

I?m not entirely sure about this. I rarely visit him here. But I?ve come this far, might as well follow through. I knock on the door and Mieke answers. She stares at me, probably wondering why I?m interrupting their night. ?What do you want, Thomas??
I look at her, though she tries her damnedst to sound like a hard ass she knows that I know she?s nothing but a softie. ?I didn?t have anywhere else to go,? I calmly say.
?So you decided to come here?? she says with a little disgust.
I hesitate before answering. She?s still scared of what happened earlier. Can?t say I blame though. ?Seemed like the best place.?
She sighs and thinks for a few moments. She then moves a little to the side and allows me to enter. Their house is quite nice. Chandelier on the ceiling, oak dining room table, big screen television and leather sofa in the living room. Two kids hopefully asleep upstairs. I never did understand why Justin was so intent on being a manager. He?s got a good life, a good girlfriend and the last thing in the world he needs is to have it all screwed up. ?He?s upstairs,? she says as she walks by me. I put my hands in my pockets and begin to walk up the stairs when she suddenly stops me. ?Thomas?? I turn and look at her. ?Did you mean to kill him?? her voice is low, she wasn?t sure if she actually wanted to ask me this question. Either that or she?s not sure if she really wants to know the answer.
I give her a soft smile. ?No.?
?Do you regret it?? another question. This one I don?t want to answer.
My smile fades. ?No.?
?Why??
?Because it?s who we are, it?s what we do. We all know the risks and we?re all willing to take them,? I calmly state.
She smiles and nods, finally understanding what I?ve been trying to tell her for the last few years. ?Why do you still fight??
I take my hands out of my pockets and turn on the stair so I?m completely facing her. ?Because lately, every night that I walk into that ring, I hope to Hell that I don?t walk out.?
The look on her face turns to one of shock and confusion. She?s the first person I?ve ever told this to. She stares at me, eyes held wide open, wondering what could make a man feel like he?s lost that much. She doesn?t say anything else, just turns away to ponder over what I?ve just told to her. I continue walking upstairs.
I find Justin sitting in his children?s bedroom. A boy and a girl, they sleep so peacefully, no worries, no cares. They?re in a place most people wish they could get back to. I smile and put a hand on Justin?s shoulder. He jerks back from surprise. He looks at me and stands up. He holds out his hand and I shake it.
?You okay?? he asks me.
?We need to talk,? I tell him.
He motions his hand out of the room. I walk out and we walk over to his study. He takes a seat behind his desk and lights up a cigar. He offers me one but I refuse. I pull out my pack of cigarettes and light one up and take a seat.
?What?s up?? he?s geniunely concerned.
?Why do you do this?? I ask him.
?What do you mean?? he answers with a question.
?You?ve got a good life, steady job, a girlfriend that loves you to death, and two kids. You?ve got it made, so why the hell are you my manager?? it?s not a question he was expecting.
?Because you?re my friend. And it?s always nice to have a little extra money for a rainy day,? he smiles.
?What if I asked you to give it up??
?I?d say no. Thomas, does this have anything to do with earlier tonight?? he studies me over as he puffs away at his cigar.
?No. I?ve killed people before, you?ve been there for it,? I tell him.
?Then what is this about?? he adjusts himself in the chair.
?I?ve lost, Justin.?
?What do you mean you?ve lost??
?Everything that was once special in my life, it?s gone now,? I say to him.
?You?ve still got your life. Hell you?re still the top fighter, you rake in more than any other fighter, you can get as many women as you want, hell what more do you want?? he says getting a little edgy.
?You don?t get it do you??
?Get what? You?re the one who?s got it made. Everytime I see you in that ring I wish that I could live just a portion of your life inside of there. The excitement, the rush, and that life that comes with it. My God man, you?re a fuckin? hero to everyone who watches you!? his voice raises.
?A year ago, you remember it?? I ask.
?What about it??
?I had a girl. A girl that loved me. I was going to marry her, and everything in my life was going to make sense,? I say to him.
?Is this about, Lori?? he says in a ?Jesus, don?t give me that shit? tone.
?Did I ever tell you why she broke up with me??
?No,? this peaked his curiousity.
?She gave me a choice, give up fighting or give up her. I could have gotten up every morning and gone into work, sat at a job I hated for eight hours a day, and come home to the woman I love. I could have made a life for myself. But I fucked up, I gave up the best thing in my life for the worst thing to ever come out of my life,? I tell him as I douse out my cigarette. I then stand up.
?Look man, I?m sorry as shit that you lost her, but that was your choice. But you?re still the best damn fighter there is,? he says trying to make me feel better.
I turn and head for the door. I stop and look back at him. ?And every morning I wake up and realize that it wasn?t worth it.?
I walk back down the stairs, Mieke?s there, she watches me until I?m completely off the steps. She walks me to the door and opens it. I smile at her and walk out. She looks at me, wondering what to think of me now. I turn back towards her. ?You two have a good life and I?m going to make sure that you keep it.? I turn and walk down the stairs and head off into the street. Not looking back.
She shuts the door and Justin walks downstairs. ?He left I take it??
?Yeah. There?s something really wrong with him,? Mieke tells him.
?What makes you think that?? he asks her as he puts his arm around her shoulder.
?When he was leaving, he looked like a walking ghost,? she pulls herself closer to Justin. The two of them will turn in tonight and dream of a land where they are happy, where their lives are uninerrupted by the cruelties of this city, and they won?t realize how close they are to having that dream come true.

Lori?s Apartment

I walk in and take my coat off. I don?t even bother to hang it up, I just toss it on the chair. I?ve been walking all night looking for him. Checked with everyone I know he knows, and none of them have seen him. I sit down and push my back against the couch. I feel exhausted, I feel frightened. I don?t know what happened tonight, everything inside my head tells me that I should stay away from him, but everything inside my heart tells me I need to find him. I hate confusion. I shut my eyes and let myself fall asleep. Time to clear my head, regain my composure and start thinking straight.
The knock at the door wakes me up. It takes me a moment to realize what?s going on. When the knock comes again I jump up, hoping its someone with some information as to where Thomas is. When I open the door I?m startled to find him standing there. He?s dripping wet, I quickly let him and jerk the coat off his back. I walk it back to the dryer and toss it in. When I turn around I find him still standing in the doorway. I don?t know what to say to him, I don?t know where to start.
?Hi,? he softly says to me.
?Hi,? I feel a tear fall down cheek.
?I?m sorry, Lori,? these are words I didn?t expect to hear him say.
?For what?? I ask wanting to hear.
?For making the wrong choice,? his voice is calm, deep, soothing.
?Come in, sit down,? I say as I pull on his shirt. There?s tiny blood stains on his right shoulder. I know where they came from, but I wish I didn?t.
He sits down on the floor, I stare at him like he?s an idiot. ?I don?t want to get your couch wet,? he slightly smiles.
I smile back at him. ?It?s okay.?
We stare at each other for a good five minutes before I finally break the silence. ?What happened tonight??
?Ivano died,? he tells me. I don?t look shocked or surprised. He knows that I already know.
?Why?d you get into the ring? I heard you weren?t supposed to be there tonight,? I ask.
?I don?t know. It was just like one moment I was outside of the ring watching the fight and the next minute I was standing over him,? he lowers his head as he says this.
?Thomas, I?ve never agreed with your fighting -,? he then cuts me off.
?I know. I know. That?s why I?m here, tomorrow?s my last fight,? he quickly says. I feel a surge of joy pass through me. Although I wish there wasn?t another one.
?What are you going to do after that?? I ask as I draw closer to him.
He looks at me, no smile on his face, an almost blank expression in his eyes, ?Sleep,? is all he says. I decide not to pick at it any further. I?m just glad that he?s finally come to his senses. ?I just wanted to come over and tell you that I am sorry and I?m going to try and make it right. Better late than never, huh?? he gives a small laugh, I smile at him. He stands up and I do the same. ?I better be going.?
He begins to walk out and I follow him to the door. ?You know, Lori. I?ve never stopped loving you, you?ve always been the one,? he then turns and opens the door. He begins to head out and I suddenly call out to him.
?Thomas, wait!? he turns with a look of hope in his eye. ?You forgot your coat,? it?s not what I wanted to say.
He smiles at me. ?Keep it.? Then he?s gone, looking a hell of a lot better than when he came in. I close the door and walk back over to the couch. I sit down and think about everything he just said. I start smiling and crying, finally happy that he?s done.

The Fight

The place is completely packed. I look out over the crowd seeing them waiting for what they?ve all come here to see. One more fight. One more and I?ll never have to worry about this again. I was told earlier that I was fighting Matthew. I don?t know how I feel about that. I hope he does better than last night though. Justin and Mieke are standing in my corner of the ring, Mieke smiles up to me, I return it and look back over the crowd.
A bell sounds and I know that Matthew has arrived. He walks into the ring and I walk over to him. I extend my hand. ?This is my last fight, I?m glad it was you,? he looks at me unsure of what to make of that statement. He slowly smiles and shakes my hand. I turn and walk back over to my corner. The referee comes into the ring and signals for the two of us to come out. We both do and he reads over the rules. We shake hands again and walk back to our separate corners. Justin jumps up and smacks his hands on my shoulders. I hate when he does that.
?It?s all you, it?s all you,? he smiles.
?I?ll make the grand finale one to remember,? I say to him.
He smacks my shoulders again. ?You do that,? he then jumps down and the bell sounds.
Matthew comes out quickly. He wastes no time at all in landing a punch on the right side of my chest. I swing back from it and lift my left arm up and connect with his ribcage. He falls a few steps back but keeps his balance. He puts his arms up in a defensive position. I keep my down at my sides. He comes around the left side of me and delivers a jab to my cheek. It pushes me all the way back to the ropes. I push myself off of them and swing hard at his head, he ducks and I miss. I missed. Shit.
He goes for my abdomen but doesn?t have time to connect. I swing around and come in contact with his face. It knocks him on his ass. He quickly gets up and regains his footing. He fakes a left and hits me in the ribcage with his right. I double over remembering my prior wound given to me by Lost. I jump back to my f