I looked up from the book I was reading as the door opened, expecting my grandmother with some food or something. I wasn't ready to see Crystal.
"Hey."
"Hey, what are you doing here?"
"Just came out to see you. Wish you 'happy new year' and all that."
She sat down on the edge of the bed, on the window side, smiling at me in her easily beautiful way.
"Wow, thanks, I haven't had many visitors. How'd you find the place?"
"Doug told me how to get out here."
"Cool. Is he still mad at me?"
She closed her eyes and nodded, half in humor, half in disappointment.
"Oh well, he'll just have to get over it."
"That doesn't sound like the Tom I had dinner with at Goldberg's a while back."
I sighed heavily. "That Tom is really tired Crys. He's worn out, mainly because he doesn't feel like he's found all the answers he thought he had when he first got into it all. He's torn between his feelings of it working better than anything else he's ever been a part of, and it not working anywhere near as well as he thought it would."
"You can't expect immediate results, to just completely change your whole life overnight."
"Crys, look, it's been 3 years. In that time, I've managed to underwhelm myself. Athena, my teacher, has even told me how inconsistent I am. I'll go along for months like I'm spinning my tires, then something will catch and I'm indestructible for a little while."
"Well, that's not so bad, sounds like almost any other form of life I've ever seen."
I looked at her, it seemed, for the first time. She was glowing, radiating a soft yellow light, from deep inside. I took my hand and placed it over hers, and she smiled again. She closed her eyes and lay down, using me for a pillow.
"You're loosing weight. Your stomach doesn't make as good a headrest as it used to."
"Oh, poor girl. I should probably stay fat to keep you happy." I was joking, and we both laughed quietly to ourselves as I stroked her hair.
"Most of what you do makes me happy, Thomas."
In retrospect, I wasn't as shocked by this admission as I maybe should have been. After all, it had been a long time, and our original romantic relationship had ended very slowly and very badly. Walking over broken glass in bare feet for what seemed like a thousand miles. But, we were both very different people now.
"You haven't gotten your mail lately have you?"
"No, not really, why?"
"They evicted you, you're supposed to be out by the end of the month."
I thought for a second, trying to decided if I cared. My grandmother had offered to let me stay out here with her for as long as I needed. I could always go into town and get a job somewhere, but at the same time, I knew my life lay in Omaha, for better or worse.
"Well, I'll have to look around I guess."
"I'm moving out, maybe you could be my roommate?"
She looked up at me, the look in her eyes speaking volumes of hope and fear and love and so many other things that defy my power to name them. I ran my hand along her cheek and my thumb across her chin slowly.
"Sure. Sounds good."
She smiled brightly, and lay her head back down, only to shoot it back up.
"Hey, when are you going to get your lazy butt back to Omaha?"
"I dunno, hadn't thought about it much. Probably before the first of February now."
"I think you should come back with me tonight, Man?or AstroMan? is playing at the Ranch Bowl on Wednesday."
Ah, an old throwback to one of the few bands we had in common. A clever ploy. Worked like a charm.
"Sure, I think I'm about ready. I'm sure my grandmother will be happy to get me out from underfoot."
