**click** The Return Of Travis and Beth

Yet again, an older thing I was working on before. Some of you have read some of this, but none of you have seen all of it. I stopped posting it after a while, because I felt like I was getting lost. But, I've figured it out now, and I'm ready to pick up the ball again. I'm posting what I had before, so you all can catch up if need be. Enjoy!

* * *

I sat out in front of the student center, reading a book. Short stories, written by various Latin American writers, it alternated between richly engrossing and slightly tedious. I wasn't reading it for a class or anything, and I felt somewhat guilty for not studying my notes for the exam I had in 20 minutes. But not guilty enough to stop reading.

**click**

Off to my right, I noticed a couple sit down. They started talking to each other in a language I didn't understand, possibly Arabic. I tried to ignore them and keep reading, but their conversation was too distracting. She had a soft soprano that harmonized wonderfully with his deep tenor. The melody was subtle, almost undetectable, but the rhythm was insistent. It was fluid, going staccato at times, dipping to a slow heartbeat at others, but always incredibly alive.

**click**

I decided that since I wasn't studying anyway, that I would put down my book and just listen to their conversation. Since I was unable to tell what they were saying, I didn't feel like I was eavesdropping. They seemed happy, chatting away without a care. I found it calming, soothing. I closed my eyes and concentrated on their voices.

**click**

The clicking noise on my left was distracting me from my chosen distraction, and I needed to put a stop to it. I looked over in the general direction of the clicking, and I saw a camera, attatched to a young woman. She smiled and brought the camera to her eye, pointed right at me.

**click**

The camera was replaced in her lap, and I was able to get a good look at her. Short and thin, she had short blond hair, straight as an arrow. Her sunglasses hid eyes that I knew were pale blue and incredibly expressive. She had on a big, baggy sweatshirt and faded, slightly chewed up jeans. She was sitting Indian-style in the shade of a tree.

**click**

I stood up and grabbed my bag. I walked over to her, leaving the Arabic musicians behind. I ducked into the shade of the tree and stood over her. She swung the camera up and...

**click**

...took another picture.

Hey.
Hello.
Taking pictures?
Yeah.
Anything specific?
Just some guy I know.
Oh yeah?
Yeah. I haven't seen him for a while, so I thought I'd get some photographic evidence of his existence.
Like a Yeti?
Or an alien, sure.
Well, you know, he wasn't exactly hiding or anything.
Yeah, I know, but things happen...
People move away...
And then they come back.
(I couldn't help smiling.) Yeah, you did, didn't you?
Yep. Just to see you. (Her smile said she was kidding, but I didn't completely trust it.)
...So why haven't I heard from you in two years?
(Her face darkened) A lot of things happened while I was gone.
(I sighed unwillingly.) Yeah, me too.
Have a seat, we can swap stories. I've got time.
I don't. I've got to go take an exam.
Oh.
What about later? Say, like in an hour?
I'll be here.
Good. Can I see your camera?
(There it was, that beautiful, slow smile of hers.) Sure.
Is it ready to go?
Yeah.
(I pointed it at her. She squinted up at me, beaming.) Say, 'Beth loves Travis.'
(She laughed.) Beth loves Travis.

**click**

* * *

I walked out of the building and into the blazing sunlight. Although I had been taking an exam, my mind had been firmly locked elsewhere. I sat there, going throught the motions, trusting my autopilot to take the test while I thought about Beth.

Damn, had it been three years? She still looked the same, even her haircut. Still lugging around the camera. Just shows up out of nowhere. I had to smile at that.

I walked through campus back to the student center. There she was, sitting under that tree, snapping the occassional picture of whatever caught her eye.

**click**

She stood up when she saw me.

How was the exam?
Ok, nothing major. Just a little American Government Policy Analysis.
Oooh, fun. (She took my hand. My heart jumped a little, but I was ok. Her hand seemed incredibly warm.)
So, where to ma'am?
I dunno. You got any more classes?
Nope. You?
No, I was just hanging out. You have to work or anything?
I'm off today. (She smiled and squeezed my hand. Why are my ears so warm?)
Good. You still working at the store with your dad?
Yeah. Steady job, good pay.
Cool. Let's go there. I want to see him. Then you're cooking me dinner?
Me?
Yes, you. I haven't had a good home-cooked meal in a long time.
(That struck me as odd.) Don't you ever see your parents?
(A cloud seemed to hang over her face.) Not really. (She looked up, and suddenly looked very tired.) I'll tell you later, ok?
Sure. (Her grip on my hand tightened, and after a few seconds, loosened. It seemed like her hand was getting warmer by the second.)
(She brightened.) So, you're goining to cook me spaghetti, and I'm going to hear all about My Hero Zero's last few years here!
All right, as long as I get to hear about Interplanet Janet's time in Athens.
Deal! (She laughed, one of the lovliest songs I've ever heard.)

We wandered over to the parking lots. I had parked about 50 yards away, so I suggested that we drive to my dad's store, and then hop in one car and head to my house. She aggreed, and when we reached her car (a newer-looking small pickup, actually) she suddenly brought my hand up and kissed it. She looked shyly up at me, and I'm not sure how I must have looked to her, but she smiled at my reaction and hopped in the truck.

Race ya!

**click**

* * *

When I pulled into the parking lot of the store, I saw her truck already there. Internally, I grinned, knowing that she was already inside, totally making the old man's day.

I walked in, and there she was, sitting up on the counter. Both of them were laughing like hyenas, my dad had his glasses off and was crying. He really knocks me out sometimes.

(T) What's up?
(B) Oh, nothing. I was just telling Mr. Franklin Shuffte here about something.
(F) This little girl's a riot. Gotta keep her around longer. (he turned and shook a finger at her) No more running off to Greece for you! I need you around. Travis is funny...
(B) But not that funny.
(They both cracked up again at this.)
(T) Hey!
(B) Oh (giggle) don't worry. You'll always be funny to me. (She took my hand again and set in her lap. I looked quickly from her to my dad. He was absolutely beaming.)
(F) *cough* So, how was that test?
(T) I suppose it was all right. To be honest, I was a little distracted. (I looked back at Beth. My heart was racing, and the look she gave me didn't help.)
(F) Ah, but what a distraction! I wish I could have a tiny little blond distraction sometimes.
(Beth play-slapped at him) Frank, you bad, bad man! I'm going to report you to the authorities!

My dad escused himself to go into the office for a few minutes. Beth and I just stayed there, trying not to stare at each other for too long. I was (and pardon me for sounding like a complete idiot) warm and tingly all over. She took my hand and kissed it softly, and replaced it in her lap, dangerously high between her legs.

I was trying to look into her eyes and catch her attention, but she kept looking away and smiling. She wasn't looking at anything in particular, she was just trying to not look at me. Finally, I took my free hand and turned her head towards me. She sucked in a quick breath, and I realized how close I was to kissing her.

(whisper) You wanna get out of here?
(slight nod)
(whisper) You better go back and give your sugar daddy a kiss before you go.
(that got a laugh out of her.) Jerk!

She hopped off the counter and skipped back to the office. I finally had a few seconds to catch my breath. Man, what was I doing? We couldn't just turn it back on after three years, could we? Or, would the time and distance make it that much easier to do?

I ran my fingers through my hair and tried to clear my head. Ok, here's the deal. Easy does it. Jumping in feet-first would not be the best idea right now. Too many things need to be taken card of first. You have a lot to tell her, she has a lot to tell you. Just take your time, and if it's right, it's right.

I saw her coming back down the aisle, dancing to the muzak as she approached.

Please let it be right.

* * *

The dinner dishes were in the sink, the leftovers were in the fridge, and Beth and I were on the couch.

It was really, really good to be with her again. The last time I had seen her, we had spent the evening on this very couch, talking, much as we were doing now. Then, we were saying goodbye. Now, we were saying hello.

She told me about her time in Athens. I can't even imagine what it would be like to live in another country for three years. She's done so much, and I've done so little, for a while, I was starting to feel a bit sorry for myself.

She sensed this, and smiled. That beautiful, supple smile of her. Damn, she could light up a room.

So.
Yeah?
Did you keep your promise.
(my pulse shot up.) Oh, wow. I haven't even thought about that for a long time.
(she inched closer to me. I could smell the garlic on her breath.) So, you're telling me...what?
Um, yeah, yeah. I've kept my promise. (it was getting impossible to think. she was so close.)
Good. I did too. (she leaned in, and her breasts pushed up against my arm. I put my hand on her knee and she sucked in a quick breath.)
Actually, it was pretty easy. (inching my hand up her thigh, I could feel the heat rising intensely.)
Why's that? (she kissed, and then bit, my shoulder.)
(I took my other hand and stroked her hair.) Well, to be honest, no one really wants me.
(she looked me right in the eye.) I've never wanted anyone else but you. (she leaned in and kissed me then. the kiss she gave me three years ago on that very couch. the kiss I had been waiting for for three years. so soft, so eager, so warm.)

She crawled on top of me. I lost control of my body at that point. It was like my mind was a spectator, watching what was happening to my body. It was quite a show.

* * *

Beth loves Travis.
Travis loves Beth.

We lay there, holding each other close, not daring to move, for fear of losing each other again. Three years is a long time to go without the one person you truly do love. Letting go might possibly lead to another seperation, and neither one of us would have survived.

Still, the question lingered, why had she suddenly cut off communications with me two years ago? We hadn't discussed it. At the time, it had cut me like a blade. First I was a little worried, because I saw blood. But I kept a level head and tried to stop the bleeding, but it just kept gushing. Finally, I took away the bandage, and slowly bled into oblivion.

That's why I had started drinking. It seemed to be the only thing that managed to let me forget her. My dove. My heart and soul. Alcahol fogged my mind and emotions enough to forget. It allowed me to sleep without waking up every few hours to cry and then start all over again.

...what are you thinking about?
(that snapped me back.) Hhhmmm, nothing. Just how glad I am that you're back.
Guess what?
What?
I'm back for good now.
(huh?) Really? You aren't going back?
(she rolled so she was on her back, and could look at me, even though it was dark.) No, I lost my Fellowship. My grades didn't make it. I don't think I was cut out to be an archeologist anyway.
(I put my hand on her cheek and she made a noise that could only be described as a purr.) Well, what's next? Are you going to school here?
Yeah.
What are you studying?
I don't really have a major yet, but I'm leaning towards art. Photography.
Yeah. You've always got that camera with you. May as well put it to good use.
Hey! It's always been put to good use!
I know, just teasing.
(we lay there in silence for a while, enjoying the closeness and warmth of each other.)
What I'm really proud of is you, being back in school. How long has that been going on?
Oh, this is my first semester back. I just kinda decided it was time.
Well, you did take two years off.
I know, I know. Don't remind me, my dad does that often enough.
(another period of silence. I must have drifted off, because I didn't realize she had crawled on top of me until she kissed me.)
Wow. You're a deep sleeper. I'm actually shocked you aren't dead.
Well, you know. I sleep a lot better now than I used to.
Oh really, when was that?
...After you left. Or more to the point, after I stopped hearing from you.
(she put her hands on my cheeks and whispered.) I'm so sorry. I just couldn't...Beth loves Travis. I'm so sorry.
(she kissed me and I could taste tears.) Hey, don't cry. It's the past. You're here now, that's all that matters. Travis loves Beth.
(she buried her head in my chest.) No, it's not ok. I'm fucking horrible. I just couldn't...

She started to really cry. I tried to calm her down, whispering to her, telling her it was all ok. After what seemed like forever, she calmed down and eventually stopped.

She rolled off me and got out of bed. She reached down and grabbed my t-shirt and put it on. I could just barely see her in the light from the living room. She was so beautiful. Short, thin, her hair a mess but in a kinda cute way. She stood there in my shirt (which came almost to her knees), and looked like she was wrestling with a decision.

Finally, she walked out of my room, and it sounded like she was rummaging around in her purse. She walked back into my room, sat down on the bed, and turned on the lamp by my bed. Ok, that hurt for a few seconds. When my eyes had adjusted, I could see she was holding something.

Travis, I want you to take a look at a picture I took while I was in Athens.
Sure. (she handed it to me. there was a baby girl, maybe a year old, laying in a crib.)
Hey, cute kid. Who is it?
That is Hippolyta Poppodopolous. She's the adopted daughter of the couple I was living with in Athens.
She's really pretty. She doesn't look Greek, though.
She's not. (she sighed) Her parents are American.
Well, if what you told me about these people is true, she's lucky to have such good adopted parents.
(she looked so sad, why did she look so sad?) Yeah, they are absolutely wonderful. I can't think of anyone better to take care of...(she broke down and started to cry again. she collapsed into me and held on to me so tight that it really hurt.)
What is it honey? What's wrong?
I wanted to tell you. I wanted to tell you, I swear. But my parents said it would be better if...if I didn't tell you.
What? What did you want to tell me?

She couldn't talk any more. She just lay there, crying and holding me, and I held her, wishing there was something I could do. All I could really do was look at the picture of the little girl. What was it about this baby that hurt Beth so much?

I flipped the picture over, but there was nothing on the back. I looked at it closely, and noticed the little girl was blond with pale blue eyes, just like...

...Beth.

* * *

I had lain there with Beth, holding her until she finally fell asleep. I was absolutely stunned. I had no idea what to say at all. It was like my ability of speech had been stripped away.

It didn't take long to figure it all out. The timing was all right there. Right before she had left, we had made a promise to stay true to each other. I trusted her, completely. So. I'm a father.

Father.

That's a strange word. A big, powerful word. It ranks up there with the all-time greats. Mother. Love. Hate. For me, it encapsulated everything my dad was. Like everyone else, I hear the word 'father' and I think of my own. How could I be a father? I'm just a stupid kid.

Why didn't she tell me? That's what screwed me up more than anything. I mean, we were it. We were two halves of the same whole, I've never for one second in my life doubted that. When it seemed like she had fallen off the face of the earth, it was like I died. To have her back was a resurrection. But with this, (our daugher, wow...) it was so unreal.

Thoughts swam around and around, totally negating any chance of sleep. She buried herself into me, and I held her, but my mind was just...lost.

Why didn't she tell me?
I just don't get it.
And what's all this about her parents?
Hippolyta. A tiny replica of my dove. A little girl I helped create. A daughter I would more than likely never meet.
(that tore me up, very suddenly.) I have a daughter, a whole person who is half of me, and I'll never get to see her.

I started to panic. Sweating, hyperventilating, hot and cold flashes. Beth woke up and sat up, putting a hand on my cheek.

Travis? Travis, what is it?

I couldn't answer her. All I could do was break down. Everything I had held inside since seeing her that afternoon came rushing out. Three years of missing her, all the shit that came with it. The relief of finally seeing her again. My confusion about why she hadn't told me about Hippolyta. It was a torrent of feelings and emotions. Beth was trying to talk to me, but I couldn't really understand what she was saying. All I could hear was my own sobbing and one word, repeated over and over.

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

I lost all concept of time and space, and the next thing I knew, I was out in my living room, sitting in the chair, with Beth handing me a glass of water. I set it down without even looking at it.

* * *
Middle goes here...
* * *

I sat in my car, outside her house. I was trying to decide whether or not I wanted to go inside. A major part of me wanted to re-start the car and drive, anywhere, far away, away from this cinder block that had been hung around my neck. Go to the bank, drain my account, grab some clothes, books and CDs and go back to Austin.

The shock was definitely wearing off, and the numbness was being replaced by a desperate kind of entrapment. This was a situation I had no way out of. There was absolutely nothing I could do. I felt like a tiger in a cage at the zoo, pacing back and forth, trying to figure out how to get out and kill that stupid motherfucking kid on the other side of the bars.

That's when another piece of the puzzle snapped into place. I wanted to hurt her, more than I've ever wanted anything before. She had lied to me, a cruel terrible lie. How could I forgive her for what she had done to me? She had taken our child (my child) away from me before I had ever even known she existed. She had taken it upon herself to take my heart and toss it off a cliff. She had fallen off the face of the earth for two years, never once letting me know what was going on. Then, all of the sudden she comes back into my life, trying to start all over like nothing happened. Sure, the hystrionics last night and everything, but I began to feel like I was being manipulated. Led around by the nose by a stupid girl who didn't even have enough sense to...

...to what? What exactly? I was so tired and confused and scared. I didn't know what to do. I looked down at my right hand, the one I had punched the wall with. It was probably broken, it sure hurt like hell. I thought about going to the hospital to have it looked at, but decided instead to head over to my dad's house. I suddenly needed my dad very badly. I needed my father. He would make it all better.

As I started the car and pulled away, I noticed Beth open the door and step out onto the porch. I had to get out of there quick before she had a chance to stop me.

* * *

Where's he going?

I ran out through the yard and into the street, yelling at him to stop. He probably did't hear me, but I'm sure it didn't matter. He was going because he wanted to go. I felt tears building up behind my eyes, and closed them to try and stop them. I'm so sorry Travis. I never, ever meant to hurt you.

I didn't know what else to do, so I went back inside, hoping that he'd come back soon so we could talk and sort things out.

* * *

Hold on, hold on I'm coming. Who...Travis?
Yeah. Can I come in?
Sure. What brings you to the neighborhood?
I just ah...needed to...needed to...
Needed to what son? Whoa, whoa. What's wrong with your hand?
I hit a wall.
Let me see that. You hit a wall?
Yeah.
You punched a wall?
Yeah.
Ok, let's go in the kitchen so I can take a look at this. (Pause while Frank looks at Travis's hand.) So, you're punching things again. Trying to avoid hitting someone, or did the wall just piss you off?
A little of both.
Well, that happens. You been drinking again?
No.
You sure?
Yeah.
Good. Don't. We don't need any more of that shit, do we?
No.
Do we?
No sir.
That's right, we don't. Well, it doesn't look too bad. Probably just sprained your wrist, maybe jammed a finger or two. Looks like it bled.
Yeah.
Not too much though?
No.
Good, good. So. What happened?
(Pause) A lot.
Yeah, I figured. So what happened?
Well, you know, Beth is back now and...
Oh. Her. I should have known.
Dad, look...
No, don't tell me to 'look'. Just sit there and listen for a second. I love that girl to pieces. She's nice, intelligent, charming as hell, and I love her because you love her, but son, I'm telling you...
Dad, don't...
...that girl is poison. Look at what's happened in your life. She goes off to Greece, leaves you here, a lovesick puppy dog, and then what? You stop hearing from her. She just completely cuts you off, for close to three years, not letting you know where she is, what she's doing, or even if she's ok.
I know.
When did you start drinking? Huh? When she disappeared. When did all the trouble start, with you going down to Texas and running around with those assholes? When she disappeared.
Really, I don't want to listen to this, will you please just listen to me? Please?
Fine. Fine. What? What do you have to say?
(Long pause) She had a baby.
What?
While she was in Greece, she had a little girl.
(Long pause) Well, I don't know...
Dad, I'm the father. She's my baby.
(Pause) You know this for sure?
What? Of course!
No, I'm just asking, you have absolute certainty that this baby is yours.
Of course I do! Damn, what the hell kind of question is that?
Sit down. You don't raise your voice to me in my own home.
This is crazy.
I know it is, but sit down and listen to me. You're a good kid, but you drive me crazy sometimes. You've always listened to me about everything, except where Beth is concerned, but for once, listen to me about this. I've been around the block a few more times than you have. I am not accusing anyone of anything, but really, come on Travis. She was out of the country, away from you for three years...
I really don't want to hear this.
Well, then don't. You know, just close it out, shut me out like she shut you out. Don't you know how much I love you son? The last few years have been hell for me, watching what you went through. But now, you finally seem to be getting your legs under you, and that...girl comes back around and kicks them out.
(Long pause. Travis starts to cry.) I'm lost, Dad.
Ssshhh, I know you are son.
I'm so lost.
I know. You always have been.
I don't know what's going on any more. Every time I try and get back on track...
I know, I know. You've had a long, hard road, and I hope you find your way. But you're a man now, you don't need your father telling you which way to go. You have to find your own way. But, if you want my advice, find out for sure, for absolute damn sure, that you are the father. And if not, cut her loose. Cut her loose and don't look back. She's a charmer, you saw her and me in the store this afternoon. But so's a cobra son. You need to get away from this girl, if you aren't this baby's father. You understand?
(Nods.)
All right. Good. I hope it all turns out right. (Long pause while Travis calms down.) Well, it's dinner time, you want something?
No. I'm just really tired.
All right. Why don't you go up and lie down in the spare room. Get some rest. You don't look like you've slept for a while.
Ok. (Pause.) Do you think I should call Mom?
Maybe. Probably. She'll have something to say, I'm sure. But for now, you ought to get some rest. Go on upstairs. I'll leave something in the fridge for you.
All right.
Sleep well son.

* * *

there's a weight on my neck a cinder block chained to my neck a boot on my throat i can't breathe i feel so heavy i can't move the weight is crushing me i can't get up i can't get up please help me get up i'm being crushed i can't breathe help me help me help me help me help me help me help me...

* * *

Ok, I'm going to pick it up from here. Thanks for reading!
------------------
Raise Love / Om Namaha Shivaya / All Stories Are True / My Goal's Beyond

http://members.aol.com/armourheart/dano.gif

[This message has been edited by Blok (edited July 16, 2000).]

[This message has been edited by Blok (edited July 17, 2000).]

[This message has been edited by Blok (edited July 17, 2000).]

Holy crap! I completely left out a huge chunk in the middle! Someone remind me to fix that later. It was some of the best stuff.

Ok, this part goes where it says, "Middle goes here" up above. *smacks forehead repeatedly* I don't know why, but I could not get it wedged up in there. Hostboard must have a limit on the length of individual posts. *shrugs* Anyway, here it is...

The reflection of people in the opaque window was soothingly skewed. I saw the people, walking, visiting, studying, trying to disappear, trying to explode into life, trying to. Trying to. Trying to. Lines of humanity, stretching out a bit here, compressing too much there, becoming imperfect portraits of themselves. Abstractions of actual people. It was just too good to pass up.

**click**

The camera allowed me to become my other self. Allowed me to loose the daily reality of Elizabeth Noel Dingman. Allowed me to wrap myself in the art, the capturing and displaying of reality. The zookeeper at the END of the world. Showing reality to itself for a quarter, lining up all the ducks in a row, in for the show, come on now GO.

**click**

Letting go, drifting like flotsam. A dust mote, riding the currents of air composing reality. Becoming small, so small and insignificant, a fly on the wall, a waterspot on the glass, a drop of rain in an ocean. Reality as a reflection is so much easier to handle than reality as itself. The reality of substance and odor and noise, a place I no longer feel comfortable, at least not for any length of time.

**click**

For a good long time, bouncing around, rebounding, never sticking, never getting a hold. Lost with no map in the dark. Without much hope, I returned to what I thought was home. I arrived and quickly learned home was not a place. I was homeless regardless of the location, without him. Him. Him. Him.

**click**

I smiled, despite myself. The artist was slipping away, a sensation I usually regret. I was loosing END and re-becoming Beth. I hadn't felt like Beth in three years. Then I decided that I was most truly my 'self' with him. It hurt, what I did. I cut his throat, I know that. I never forgot that for a moment. I saw what the horizon held for us, and I made a decision. For good or bad, I made a decision, and given the same circumstances, I'd make it again.

**click**

But, circumstances were very different now. It was time to face him. To lay it all out on the table, and take whatever circumstances presented themselves. If he told me to go to hell and he never wanted to see me again, so be it. Truth is not a medium I work in often, but sometimes a different pallette is necessary. I was prepared for any reaction, except the one I got. He had freaked out a little, which I expected, but after he calmed down, he really CALMED DOWN. It was almost like he was comatose.

**click**

My mind suddenly snapped into reality when I realized I had run out of film. I looked around for my bag. I swear I had set it down right next to me. I started to panic. Where was it? It had all my stuff, my film, my books, my pictures (oh god, where's Lyta?).

Looking for something?

I could hear the smirk in his voice. I didn't turn around right away. I didn't want him to see the look on my face, which I'm pretty sure was somewhere between panic and elation. I fixed my poker face and turned around to face the puppy-dog attached to the smart-ass voice.

He looked so good. In the three years since I left, he had filled out a little, finally achieved a semblance of manhood. He was still childlike, especially in his face, a long, nerdy collection of features that was so totally wrong and yet so totally right. He still hadn't learned to comb his hair, but I know I'd be disappointed if he ever did. And then there were his glasses. He had been obsessed with horn-rims for as long as I could remember, and he had finally gotten some. It's amazing how something so ugly on someone else looked so damn GOOD on him.

I walked over slowly, teasing a little, flirting a little. He just stood there and smiled. I reached out and immediately ran my hands under his shirt, feeling his body. He flinched a little at the intrusion, but being a man, it didn't take him long to get used to it. He leaned down and wrapped his long, long, long arms around me, grabbing my ass and lifting me up. I failed to suppress a squeal, but covered it well by biting his chest as hard as I could. He yelled and dropped me, and while he was off-ballance, I tackled him.

Beth, we're in public.
I know. (I kissed him, soft and gentle.)
Come on, this isn't the place.
You're the one who grabbed my ass. (I found his ticklish spot and dug in.)
(he started laughing and yelling, "Don't", eventually getting me pinned to the ground.) Travis loves Beth, but he's going to break her camera if she doesn't let him go to class soon.
(party pooper.) Sorry.

He looked at me, and there was just something there, I don't know. He leaned down and kissed me, slowly increasing the pressure and depth. I was caught off guard, he had never acted like this out in public before. I melted into him, letting go, drifting like I only could with my camera or him. Kissing is an art, and my Travis is a viruoso. He eased up and backed away. I felt a moan escape my throat, and reached out for him. He put his hand on my shoulder and whispered...

Later. Go home and I'll come by after class, ok?
(like he didn't already know the answer.) Ok. Hurry.
I'm driving as fast as I can, Miss Daisy.

Before I could laugh, he gave me another quick kiss. He got up and took off, leaving me there in the grass, loving him even more, (if that was possible.)

* * *

I arrived back at the house, intent on taking a bath before Travis came over. I didn't really have to worry about cleaning up, since the house never really had a chance to get messy. My roommate was really uptight, almost manic, about cleaning house. But then again, she was pretty much the same way about everything. School, work, dating, everything. In the six months I had been living with her, Lisa had gone through three boyfriends.

She was really great though. It was like having a mom (a REAL mom) around. She took really good care of me. She told me how much money she needed for the bills and when, she did all the grocery shopping and got half of it from me every payday. Really, I had always had someone taking care of me. First my parents, then the Poppodpolous family, and now Lisa. I didn't like to think too far in advance or wish for too much, but I really hoped Travis would be the one taking care of me eventually.

I went into my room (the 'Rat Nest' as Lisa called it) and flopped down on the bed. I lay there thinking about him. It was like I hadn't been gone at all. We just picked up where we left off. The passion, the love, the everything. And then when I had told him about Lyta, it had seemed like at first he wasn't going to handle it well at all. But then, as usual, he surprised me. He had been so totally understanding and caring. He told me he understood why I hadn't told him, and even though it had been painful, it was probably the best thing to do at the time. We had sat and held each other and cried and kissed and it was just so good to be with him again.

I looked over at the only picture frame I owned. I have hundreds, maybe thousands of pictures, laying here and there, in folders, in boxes, on the floor, thumbtacked to the walls, all over the place. But I've only ever had two framed. The one on the right is of me and Travis at my going away party before I left for Greece. The other one was of Lyta the day she was born. So tiny, a little angel with a halo of blond hair, captured by a lucky photographer in mid-yawn. She was so beautiful, my baby. My angel. My reason for living.

Greece had been such a mistake. I had never been cut out for that life at all. I went mainly to get away from my family and go somewhere fabulous. And after I had found out I was pregnant, everything just came crashing down. School was forgotten, and I just thank God that Mr. and Mrs. Poppodopolous had been more understanding than my parents. They had adopted Lyta after she was born, and continued to let me live in their house until I was ready to come home. Leaving Lyta was the hardest thing I've ever done, much much harder than what I did to Travis. But, life doesn't always go the direction we want it to, and they were her parents now.

I looked back and forth between the pictures, hoping someday that Travis would get the chance to see and hold and talk to Lyta. Maybe I should talk to Mr. Poppodopolous about loaning us the money to fly to Greece for a week or two. That way Travis could finally get to...

Shit! It was already three o'clock! I needed to get in the tub before Travis got out of school. I hopped out of bed and stripped my way into the bathroom, leaving clothes behind me in a trail. Let Lisa get them, I'm in a hurry.

[This message has been edited by Blok (edited July 17, 2000).]