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Good points - I like all your stuff Dano. I liked the metaphysical aspect of this. I liked the Phoenix as well.
Not so good, in my opinion - It didn't strike me the same way that some other stuff has. This is proly because no one I know has ever died, so it was hard for me to relate to...
Keep up the good work!
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"What about him? What are you doing with him?"
"What you should be doing with me..."
Proud family member of Jelymo, gollum, Kelly, Dano and others.
I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned
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I had gone into the session thinking I was going to work on losing weight. I had been doing everything except that, concentrating on all the other little things that were scattered around this big thing in the middle of my brain.
I was on the table, breathing, thinking about my body and the things I'd like to change about it, when my grandmother's old house flashed in my vision. I thought nothing of it and moved on. But it kept returning. I kept seeing it, from down on the corner, looking southeast, right at the front door.
It always happens this way. I think I'm done, and it kicks back into high gear.
Danny, I'm so glad I finally got to you...
My body shot up, stiffened, my right arm shot off the table. I tried to talk, but I couldn't. Then I fell back, turned to liquid. I was 10 years old again, sitting on her lap, hugging her.
"I love you so much Granma."
I know you do Danny, and I love you too.
"Why did you go?"
It was my time to go to heaven.
"I didn't want you to go. Why were you gone for so long first?"
I know, your mommy and daddy didn't want you and Jakey to be scared, seeing me sick.
"I did something bad, didn't I?"
No, no, no, not at all. I just got sick. I wanted to see you so badly, but we thought you would get scared by the hospital.
"I wouldn't have been scared. I missed you."
I missed you too, you and Jakey both. But it just wasn't meant to be.
"I was so scared Granma."
I know you were, and I'm sorry, but Granma was really sick, and it was my time to go to heaven.
I sat there on her lap and cried, and she cried with me, for a long time. I could sense Phoenix next to me, performing Reiki on me, stroking my head as I cried into my grandmother's stomach. I was surrounded by so much love, I felt so safe.
"I was bad though Granma."
No you weren't Danny, you were just hurting and you didn't know what to do to stop it.
"I drank a lot, I got into fights, I made my parents and everyone hate me."
No, don't say that Danny. No one hated you.
"You hated me."
Why would you say that? I've never done anything but loved you.
"I was so bad. Every time I did something, I never thought about what anyone thought except you."
I know Danny, it's ok. Granma loves you.
I disolved at that point. I absolutely crumbled. I completely let go of all the pain, all the self-loathing, all the hate that I had held on to for over 15 years and let it go. I could feel my grandmother's arms around me, holding and rocking me, whispering to me. I could feel Phoenix stroking my hair and drying the tears on my cheeks, telling me she loved me.
I don't think, even when I drank myself stupid, that I ever felt like that.
I don't think, even when my life (friendships, job, finances) was falling apart, that I ever felt like that.
I don't think, even when I had the gun in my mouth, that I ever felt like that.
I don't think, even when I spent three days laying on my parents' couch catatonic and unable to even move my eyes around, that I ever felt like that.
But my Granma was there. She was right there. And if it wasn't going to be ok, then it was at least going to get better.
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Very good and interesting with having Phoenix there. I really like it!!
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"I've had to spend the majority of my life vigilant against the thoughts and emotions of others pentrating my mind. But just this once, as the psychic dam begins to burst, I dont try to stop it... because the only emotion that comes crashing through the breakwall...
is hope.
It washes over everyone. Infectious... growing in strength...
Connecting us... uniting us... until suddenly...
strangers dont seem so strange anymore."
Jean Grey- X Men # 71
PROUD SLAVEBOY OF JELYMO
Enter Daredevil at Hero Realm
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This isn't fiction, this actually happened to me on Sat afternoon. Phoenix actually is the name of my friend/healer/teacher.
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Oh dear..
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"I've had to spend the majority of my life vigilant against the thoughts and emotions of others pentrating my mind. But just this once, as the psychic dam begins to burst, I dont try to stop it... because the only emotion that comes crashing through the breakwall...
is hope.
It washes over everyone. Infectious... growing in strength...
Connecting us... uniting us... until suddenly...
strangers dont seem so strange anymore."
Jean Grey- X Men # 71
PROUD SLAVEBOY OF JELYMO
Enter Daredevil at Hero Realm
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*Kicks self while putting foot in mouth* Gosh... Sorry Dano... I didn't mean that to come out in a bad way...
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It's alright Oz. Dano is cool as you know http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/biggrin.gif
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"I've had to spend the majority of my life vigilant against the thoughts and emotions of others pentrating my mind. But just this once, as the psychic dam begins to burst, I dont try to stop it... because the only emotion that comes crashing through the breakwall...
is hope.
It washes over everyone. Infectious... growing in strength...
Connecting us... uniting us... until suddenly...
strangers dont seem so strange anymore."
Jean Grey- X Men # 71
PROUD SLAVEBOY OF JELYMO
Enter Daredevil at Hero Realm
