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Hmm. I'm damn tired of writing the same generic pargraph over and over again. So I'm going to do something about it. I'm going to type actual words. I mean, not that the others weren't actual words. I mean.....whatever. The drift is had. The only statement of validity and substance that I can make is, " I love Ross." It's somehow fulfilling to say that, although it doesn't matter. Not to anyone else, and especially not to him. I really do wish I was better. For him. It's late. Or early. 3:12 am. The saddest part? I'm probably going to be awake for quite a while.
It's 3:20 am now, and I've decided that there wasn't enough text here after all. So I'm typing more. God, my stomach is killing me. I'm feeling so sick. And plus I'm getting that sharp/dull (i understand the contradiction) pain in my stomach/chest that i get when i think of him. I can't help but think of him. Every second of every minute of every hour of every day. *sigh* I stare at his pictures too. I try to use them to visualize him moving about, but that's an impossible task. His movement is a thing that defies nature and imagination. You can only get a true picture of it from seeing it happen. He's amazing. Maybe more later....I did promise myself I would work tonight.
4:38 a.m. Coincidences.....I sometimes don't believe in the word. There was a day that I was in line at the gorcery store and I picked up that book, just out of boredom. Maynard is constantly telling me, "boredom's not a burden anyone should bare," and, foolishly, I turn my mind trying to find such truth in my own thoughts. I couldn't help but kick it up from it's dust at this point, though, and it prompted me to pick up this random book. Of course I had me convinced that it just happened to be a book of names. And of course I never had any intentions of opening it to the R page, or looking for his name, or reading it's latin meaning. Those were all unexpected and random ocurrences. Weren't they? Were they not? I'm not fooling you am I? I"m not fooling me either. In any case, I found to my surprise and extreme pleasyre that his name means "rose" in latin. I found that rather fitting for such an incredible boy. Do you think of beauty, delicacy, integrity, uniqueness, desirabilty, and sensuality when you think of a rose? So should you when you think of Ross.
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Thanks. Does wonders for the ol' self-esteem.......
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"the joy of violent movement pulls you under."
- james hetfield
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the name is really what drew me to this peice. i liked it sooooo much. and i like the body of work just as much! http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/smile.gif thanks for letting us read.
