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pt 2!
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Recap: Infamous Lemon writers can (and will) possess people, willy-nilly!
Kangaroo-men are perverts!
And
Cricket Chicks Rule
Now on with the story!
PART TWO:
DON'T YOU NEED SOMEBODY TO LOVE??
**SCENE: THE PORTAL**
ELYSIA: WHEEE!! This is taking a long time to get to Earth...
*What Elysia did not know, was that Barbarocious had seen the whole scene earlier, and decided to take a little joy-trip to Earth....to have some fun......*
BARBAROCIOUS: Those fool 'Rooz, they do not realize that I am here, well that's their problem then...(Jumps into the portal) What is that noise ahead?
ELYSIA: The colors, the colors.....
BARBAROCIOUS: That's Elysia!! I thought by now she'd be through!!
*Barbarocious somehow speeds up to catch Elysia, and take her out once and for all!*
BARBAROCIOUS: I have you now my pretty!!
ELYSIA: What the-!!!( Barbarocious' whip wraps itself around Elysia's ankle) Let go of me!!
*Suddenly, the portal opens and the two of them are free falling through the air*
BARB&ELYSIA: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! IIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
*Still screaming, they continue the decent... After what seems likes ages, one of them speaks*
ELYSIA: Wanna' play 20 questions?
BARBAROCIOUS Sighs) Oh, all right.... go ahead....
ELYSIA: What am I?
BARBAROCIOUS: Animal, vegetable, or mineral?
ELYSIA: Mineral.
BARBAROCIOUS looks suspiciously) Are you a tank?
ELYSIA: (surprised) How did you guess!?
*Barbarocious was about to answer when they noticed that they were going to be pizza in the
next 30 seconds*
ELYSIA: What are we going to do??
BARBAROCIOUS: I don't know about you, but I can fly.
*Elysia continued to fall, and then....pavement hit....hard...*
ELYSIA: Ooof! Ohhhhhhhhhh.........(passes out)
BARBAROCIOUS: (Lands on the ground next to Elysia) Well, bet you're not too cocky now, huh?
*As luck would have it, they landed right in Spawn Alley(plot contrivances, gotta love 'em) And in the middle of a reconciliation of sorts*
JIMMY/OSCAR: Golly! I'm soo sorry Mr. Spawn, I didn't mean to act like that. I don't know what came over me.
SPAWN: (ruffles Jimmy's hair) That's alright boy, just make us some dinner, ok?
JIMMY/OSCAR: O-K!
SPAWN: +++That double-voice thing is a might disturbing though... It's probably puberty.+++ (looks to the curb) Hachi-Machi! Where did they come from?(points to Barb and the unconscious Elysia) The sky???
BARBAROCIOUS: Actually, yes.
*Spawn stands there, dumbfounded, while Jimmy(a.k.a. Ryan) realizes who they really are*
JIMMY/OSCAR: (nervously) I-I'll just g-g-go get that dinner s-started.....
SPAWN: Don't be shy Jimmy! We've got to go see if they're all right! +++ Yowza! They're hot! Vampire Goth chicks rule!!+++ (drags Jimmy over to where the two distressed damsels
are) *Ahem* (deep voice) Do you two need any assistance?
BARBAROCIOUS: Get lost creep-o!
*Elysia takes this opportunity to wake up*
ELYSIA: Where am I??? Did we make it to earth??
SPAWN: Uh..? Sure??
ELYSIA: Wonderful! Do you know a young boy named Ryan??
SPAWN: Hmmm, sorry, I don't know anyone by that name. Jimmy, do you?
JIMMY/OSCAR voice cracking) Uh, (high voice) NO!! *cough* I mean no..
ELYSIA visibly upset) Oh no!! I'll never be able to find him!! I've let down all of Tao!!! (crying)
SPAWN pats her on her back) There, there...Calm down now...I'm sure you'll find him...We'll help you, isn't that right Jimmy?
JIMMY/OSCAR: (sarcastic) Sure...of course we'll help find him....
ELYSIA: I know that voice.....Ryan??? (looks behind Spawn) Ryan, is THAT you??
JIMMY/OSCAR: (psychotic) NO!! I'M NOT RYAN!! I LEFT ALL THAT BEHIND ME!!
LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
BARBAROCIOUS: (circles Jimmy) That is the little do-gooder, but I sense something different about him? He has a strong _evil_ within him.
ELYSIA grabs Jimmy's sleeve) Ryan! We need you back!!
OSCAR/JIMMY: (voice changes) RYAN WILL NEVER GO BACK WITH YOU!! HE'S
MINE!! MINE!! AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!
*Oscar knocks everyone over, turns into a super saiya-jin, and flies away*
ALL: HUH?
ELYSIA: We must get him back!!
SPAWN: You're telling me! He was going to cook dinner!
**LATER THAT DAY**
*Elysia, Barbarocious and Spawn are sitting around the alley*
ELYSIA: Do you think he's going to come back?
BARBAROCIOUS: Why am I still here with you losers? I'm going to go find my sister!
ELYSIA muttering) I think someone dropped a house on her....
SPAWN: Aww, do you have to leave now? I thought we could go out and catch a movie or something...
BARBAROCIOUS: How many times do I have to tell you? (points to her mouth)Read My
Lips: I WILL NOT GO OUT WITH YOU!(and with that, she vanished)
SPAWN confused) What's that supposed to mean? Maybe she meant next week then, yeah that's it!
ELYSIA rolls her eyes) Yeah, _sure_ Spawn?
SPAWN: I am going to find Jimmy, but first, I will have to disguise myself! (pulls out Senior Yam's Disguise Kit, ages 5-10, which is just a sombrero, a brightly colored beach towel and an
ill-fitting mustache) No one will be able to recognize me!!
*Spawn leaves his home to find his insane former ward? Little did he know, he needn't have left it at all*
VOICE FROM THE SHADOWS: Heh heh heh, I WILL rule this alley by using my evil powers of ?Self Insertion?!! Mwaahahaha!!
**Daaann-daaannn-dAAAAAAAAAA!!!**
*Spawn has been walking for some time now. Suddenly, he spots a friend? or at least an acquaintance?*
SPAWN: +++Aww man! Great, just great? It would have to be him? I Thought I sent him to Abudabi.... Well at least he won't know who I am? Thank you Senior Yam!+++
SHAFT: SPAWNMA!! Prepare to DIE!! (tries to fire an arrow at Spawn) What have you done to Akane??!
SPAWN: I ain't done nothing to her,(ducks) and her name might as well be "Jailbait", Shaft! By the way, how did you know it was me?
SHAFT: You can't hide your vileness from me! And my name is Ryouga! (strikes out at Spawn) Yiiiiaaaaahhhhh!
SPAWN jumps over Shaft's head)You just haven't been the same after the Otacon Cos-
play? That was make-believe, GET OVER IT!
SHAFT turns around) It is you (points at Spawn) that has cursed me to be a pig! You will pay!
SPAWN: You aren't really cursed, you know.. Here, let me show you. (Spawn throws a bucket of cold water on Shaft)
SHAFT now soaking wet) What is this! I'm not a pig! (overjoyed) Now I can tell Akane my true feelings!!! (wanders off)
SPAWN yells after Shaft) Hey! The alley is over- Ah, screw it.
*But Shaft wasn't listening, by now he was too far gone in the wrong direction? a direction of EVIL!*
**SPAWN'S STILL WALKING...**
SPAWN: Damn, this is going to take all day!(hears a noise) What's that?(looks up and sees none other than Spider-Man!!)
SPIDER-MAN: Hey! What's up my friend?
SPAWN: Uh... (phony Mexican voice) Get out of here Gringo! I don't need no
stinking friends!
SPIDER-MAN: Halloween already Spawn? What?s with the Juan Valdez look?
SPAWN: Crap, how'd you know it was me?
SPIDER-MAN: Well, it was pretty easy, I mean, how many people have green-glowing eyes and spikes protruding out of their body?
SPAWN: Oh, forgot about that...
SPIDER-MAN: I ask again, why are you in that ridiculous get-up?
SPAWN: It's Jimmy, he's gone AWOL!
SPIDER-MAN: Why the heck would Jimmy run off?
SPAWN: He's been possessed by an evil sprit, and he's gone insane!
SPIDER-MAN: That happened to Harry.....(voice is low and he gets a weird look in his eyes)But then, I had to kill him...
SPAWN backs up a bit) You did huh...All right, I'll see you later... (Runs off quickly)
SPIDER-MAN: (snaps back to reality) What? (waves) Oh, later Spawn!
**MEANWHILE, AN EVIL FORCE GOES TO WORK**
DARTH VADER: Honey! I have to go to work!
**WRONG EVIL FORCE!!**
OSCAR/JIMMY paces back and forth) How? How will I take them over?!?
*At that moment*
SHAFT: AKANE!!! Where are you?
*Jubilee is talking to Lilith, Elysia, and She-Spawn*
JUBILEE: Oh my God! He's been like this since he hit his head at the convention... You know, Shaft's not that bad looking, he's just got to get over this obsession thing?
LILITH: Yeah... Just too bad he didn't get hung up on Ukyou? I wouldn't mind having a big guy like him around? heh heh heh.
*Shaft sees the four girls*
SHAFT walks over to Jubilee) Akane! Love has guided my way to you. At last I can tell you what I feel? I lo-
JUBILEE holds up hand) Forget it Shaft, You're too old for me?
SHAFT: But.. Love sees no difference?
JUBILEE: Love may not, but I do? You're like 20 or something.
SHAFT: It's Spawnma, isn't it? (clenches fists) He will pay for this!!
JUBILEE: What-Ever! I'm like sooo outie! I'll be at the mall, you guys coming with me?(looks at Lilith, Elysia and She-Spawn)
LILITH: (shrugs) Meh, why not?
ELYSIA: (confused) What is a mall?
*Jubilee and Lilith grin mischievously at each other*
LILITH: We're going to have a lot of fun?
JUBILEE: (holds up a card) I got Spawn's credit card!!
SHE-SPAWN: You guys?(laughs) I wouldn't want to be in your shoes when Spawn gets this bill!
JUBILEE glares at She-Spawn) You're no fun(pouts) We just want to show Elysia a good time while she's on Earth!
SHE-SPAWN puts up hands defensively)Hey, I'm not going to tell him! I was just kidding!
LILITH: (eyes her sceptically)Yeah, sure you were? Are you going with us or not?
SHE-SPAWN: Naah... I'll just stay here.
JUBILEE: OK then, we'll be back later!
*Jubes and Lilith grab Elysia's arms, and lead her away*
SHE-SPAWN: Bye, have fun!(walks away past Shaft who is sitting on the curb)
SHAFT: The world is a dark and lonely place?
OSCAR: +++This might be my chance! +++ (walks over to the broken-hearted Shaft) Hey there bud, I saw everything.. Pretty harsh if you ask me? But what if I told you that you could win her over?
SHAFT: You speak non-sense! She will never love me?
OSCAR: Oh, but you insult me! I have the power to give those who help me? Very, shall we say... Persuasive powers? Ifyaknowwhatimean!
SHAFT: (nods in understanding) Ohhhhhh? (stops) I don't get it?
OSCAR exasperated) Just work with me and I'll give you powers to make Akane, fall in love with you!
SHAFT kneels at Oscar's feet and takes his hand)What do I have to do, my master!?
OSCAR: I want you to be the Head Priest in my church? Every maniacal villain must have a fanatical cult following! I won't be any different!
SHAFT: Yes, oh Great-One!(pauses) Shouldn't I have some henchmen?
OSCAR: Of course, of course! Here you are!(steps aside and two small figures appear...that look suspiciously like Jawas)
HENCH 1: Utini! *cough* I mean, hello...
HENCH 2: ?Wuz up?
OSCAR: There! You're all set! I'll be back later, I have some? Business, to take care of.
MWAAAA-HAAA-HAAAA!!
**A LITTLE WHILE LATER**
TIFFANY: Shut up, you don't know what you're talking about!
SHE-SPAWN: It's a fact. Angels are, as a rule, stupid, and they can't fight!
TIFFANY: And I suppose Hell-Spawn aren't stupid? You don't know half of what Angels have to do, to be the warriors they are! So there! *thuppp* (sticks tongue out)
SHE-SPAWN: Hellspawns are chosen for their warrior prowess and ruthless tatical minds. All Angels have to do is look good in a bikini. Face it chick, angels are stupid and you prove it!
*Angela walks in on the last comment, with an angry look on her face*
ANGELA: You going to take that back? Or do I have to make you? Please, I hope you pick option 2.....
SHE-SPAWN: Oh, so you want to get in on this little discussion? All right,(takes up fighting stance) bring it on!
*A fight ensues, She-Spawn takes the offense with her claw, but Angela punches her in the face. Green necroplasm, spurts from her nose, and she reels back. Angela takes this opportunity to do a round-house kick under her legs. As she falls, She-Spawn grabs onto Angela's hair so they both fall to the ground. Angela screams in frustration as She-Spawn tackles her, punching her repeatedly.*
SHE-SPAWN kneeling over Angela) So(punch) you(punch) thought(punch) that(punch) you(punch) could(punch) beat me? (punch, punch)
ANGELA: As a matter of fact, I still can!(pulls legs back, and kicks She-Spawn off her)
*They both jump up, ready to continue the fight, they lunge towards each other*
SHE-SPAWN: CHAYAHH!
ANGELA wipes some blood from her nose and mouth) GRRRRRR......
*When out of nowhere*
OSCAR: Girls, girls, why make war when you could make love... *smooth-talker voice* With me. (wink)
ANGELA: (pissed) Buzz-off Jimmy!
OSCAR: (mock hurt) You needn't be so rude to your new Master!
TIFFANY: (confused) What are you talking about Joey?
SHE-SPAWN: Hey, I don't know what messages your hormones are sending your brain, but I think that you're confused.
OSCAR Austin Powers like voice) Oh, I don't think so, you can't resist me, baby, yeah! (raises hands and mumbles a few words)
SHE-SPAWN: Cut the crap kid! I'm going to kick your a-(stops, as weird glow flashes in her eyes) Oh! Oscie, there you are! (Runs up and hugs him)
*Mother One, Tiff, and Angela stare in unspeakable terror*
OSCAR: YES! Come and join me girls!(raises hands as before) You will fall in love with me! You have no free will!
*They all try to resist him, but the power was too strong!*
ANGELA eyes flash) Oh, Oscie! I love you more than ten puppies put together!
TIFFANY eyes flash) It doesn't matter that you're a herm!
MOTHER ONE eyes flash) Oscie! I have your tennis ready for you here!
OSCAR: Phase one compleate!!! (being groped by the possesed girls) Damn babies, there's enough Oscie to go around for everyone!
**END PART TWO**
Updated Notes, 7-4-01: Not much of a revision for those who have read this before, but sheet, you gotta admit it's a little better! If not, Meh. That's all I say to you.
--S
Shade's notes: I just gotta say, I was high for this whole thing. Thank you.
COPYRIGHTS: SPAWN, and all related characters, are (c) Todd McFarlane Productions. SHAFT is (c) Rob Lefield. . All other characters are (c)&(r)&(tm) to all of their respective owners. JIMMY, HENCH 1&2 are (c) to Suture and Shade
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...and growing...
oops wrong thread. Sweet. Inevitably sweet.
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Is it just me....?
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Thank you so much for the list!! You and your PS deserve a huge hug for sharing!
(those words of appreciation sounded a lot less cheesy and more sincere in my mind...)
...now to figure out a way to actually get these things...
Lol, I should be concentrating on writing final term papers, but find myself constantly checking this board to find out what's the latest item to be retired. It's so great that people can at least give us some advanced warning! But it's frustrating that they seem to be retiring so many things at once. This is the biggest cleaning-of-house I know of since Felicity's things all bit the dust. I know that most of us here are "kids at heart" who are still having financial issues with buying these items, but do they ever stop to think about the real kids who may be hoping for these items but might only be able to build their collection a piece at a time? I was so upset in high school when Felicity's things started to disappear, because I had wanted them since the second grade when they premiered, and then the "new" items were so different.
I hope they don't think that the real kids will buy anything they throw at them.
Although, maybe they'll just be doing like they did with some of Felicity's things and releasing everything "new" again when the movie comes out.
But what on earth would they be planning on doing with such classic pieces of Molly's collection like her bed and her trunk???
And the 3-in-1 bed, too??? Argh!!!!
Is there any way to have them put things aside for us so we can avoid having to pay the insane prices that some people seem to feel justified in charging on ebay? [img]graemlins/hmmm.gif[/img] (for many, it's warranted, but a few just seem to artificially jack up prices as much as they can get away with!)
AG should really consider a layaway plan for huge purchases like these drastic retirements warrant.
Man, I wish I had a credit card right now... [img]tongue.gif[/img]
