-
this is a "beat poem," or one that is written to evoke a specific rhythm...so please read this one aloud and let me know what you think;
this
life
(this life)
here i've livin'
is a golden gleaming ray of light
that shines on the path that
I'm walking along
Like a reed
i bend
(bend i said)
in the breeze
blowin' down the time that i spend
climbin' up the red rocks
in front of me
my feet
are bare
(naked, i swear)
and the path is rough
but my skin is tough
from years of walking and that's enough
break
breathe in
breathe out
breathe (ah ah ah ah) in
Breathe out again
with all the wind you got winthin
now stop
lift your face to the sun
'cause this rhhyme's not done
did you bring a friend?
got wounds to mend?
well, i tell you i did
and their love they send
'cause they ain't here no' more
that was back in the day
in a different way
when i was goin' real slow and draggin' my
heels
and i needed a friend to share my meals
but it didn't last long you see
'cause they all disappear
eventually.
so this
life
(this life)
here i'm livin'
is a golden gleaming ray of light
that shines on the path that
i'm walkin' alone.
------------------
-
This was interesting. Something different from you, which is good. It's always good to get out there and experiance new forms of writing, and be creative with it. Whatevers fun for you.
This poem started out kinda odd to me, and I thought I was gonna be bored, but it picked up interest on it's way through. I think the start was the hardest part for me to read to it, but once it got going it read okay, and turned out to be a good work.
It wasn't one of my favorite works by you, but I really liked it cuz you branched out on the creativity part of things.
So in that respect, I really like it...
good work
------------------
As miserable as life may be I hold it pretty precious...
If I lose the light of the sun, I will write by candlelight, moonlight, no light. If I lose paper and ink, I wil write in blood on forgotten walls. I will write always, I will capture nights all over the world and bring them to you.
Word And Voice
Motocross Fanatics
General Philosophy
