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REPUBLICAN CONVENTION SCHEDULE
New York, NY
06:00 PM -- Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell
06:30 PM -- Pledge of Allegiance
06:35 PM -- Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)
06:45 PM -- Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
06:46 PM -- Seminar #1 --- Getting your kid a military deferment
07:30 PM -- First Presidential Beer Bong
07:35 PM -- Serve Freedom Fries
07:40 PM -- EPA Address #1 --- Mercury, it's what's for dinner.
08:00 PM -- Vote on which country to invade next
08:10 PM -- Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
08:15 PM -- John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your children
08:30 PM -- Round table discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)
08:50 PM -- Seminar #2 Corporations: The government of the future
09:00 PM -- Condi Rice sings "I Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"
09:05 PM -- Second Presidential Beer Bong
09:10 PM -- EPA Address #2 --- Trees: The real cause of forest fires
09:30 PM -- Break for secret meetings
10:00 PM -- Second prayer led by Cal Thomas
10:15 PM -- Lecture by Carl Rove: Doublespeak Made Easy
10:30 PM -- Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint and talk macho
10:35 PM -- Bush demonstration of trademark deer in headlights stare.
10:40 PM -- John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory kevlar chastity belt
10:45 PM -- Clarence Thomas reads list of black republicans
10:46 PM -- Third Presidential Beer Bong
10:50 PM -- Seminar #3 --- Education: a drain on our nation's economy.
11:10 PM -- Hilary Clinton Pinata
11:20 PM -- Lecture by John Ashcroft --- Evolutionists: The dangerous new cult
11:30 PM -- Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again.
11:35 PM -- Blame Clinton
11:40 PM -- Laura serves milk and cookies
11:50 PM -- Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself
12:00 PM -- Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord
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There was a similar one on the board for the Democrats a few months ago, in fact I think I posted it LOL. The Democratic Convention included Ted Kennedy making a toast every 2 or 3 sentences, a flag burning ceremony, and I forget what all else.. Come to think of it, that was last summer I posted that. How time flies..
