-
her stare was inconsistent
like tornado tails,
never landing on the same
object.
she seemed confused
as to where
to lock in.
her eyes were pinball machines,
her eyeballs dancing around,
bouncing off the sides;
i was going for the high score.
i was locked on her bridge
& the edges of her unstressed brows.
she kept biting her bottom kisser
and pushing her black madness
behind her left ear.
through a humble whisper
her apology pulled me closer
as we laid amongst wrinkled sheets.
the chair, still in the
living room, left reclined.
morning seemed so far away.
-
I love both of these poems. I really like the word usage "Black Madness" for some reason that just stuck in my head. Another excellent Job. I love poems that the reader can really relate to.
-
I like the fact that this was really broke into two parts.
i REALLY like that.
Granted - it may have been done that way because it was written at 2 different times, if so, still cool.
But - I think having to seperate parts really emphasizes the 'now/then' aspect this peice presents.
I love the tie-in of the chair in the last few lines. Wonderful - simply wonderful.
And like Flip said - I enjoyed the use of "black madness".
But... I almost laughed out loud when I read
"I was going for the high score"
Dunno why, but that was pertty comical.
