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Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder
> > > > 1. All the DNA is the same.
> > > > 2. There are no dental records.
> > > > ---------------
> > > > A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me
> how long
> > > > it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?"
> > > > The agent replies, "Just a minute..."
> > > > Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
> > > > _____________
> > > > Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of
> Juan Gonzalez.
> > > > "How was he killed?" asked one detective.
> > > > "With a golf gun," the other detective replied.
> > > > "A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?"
> > > > "I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."
> > > > ____________
> > > > The investigation of Martha Stewart continues. Her
recipe
> for chicken casserole is quite efficient.
> > > > First you boil the chicken in water. And then you dump
the
> stock.
> > > > ____________
> > > > New Sex Study...
> > > > It has been determined that the most used sexual
position
> for married couples is the doggie position.
> > > > The husband sits up and begs. The wife rolls over and
> plays dead.
> > > > ___________
> > > > This guy has been sitting in a bar all night, staring at
a
> blonde wearing the tightest pants he's ever seen.
> > > > Finally his curiosity gets the best of him, so he walks
> over and asks, "How do you get into those pants?"
> > > > The young woman looks him over and replies, "Well, you
> could start by buying me a drink."
> > > > ___________
> > > > Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion."
> > > > Joe: "Really?"
> > > > Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in
hell."
> > > > __________
> > > > A man is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him
how
> he is feeling.
> > > > "I'm O.K. but I didn't like the four-letter-word the
> doctor used
> > > > in surgery," he answered.
> > > > "What did he say," asked the nurse.
> > > > "OOPS!"
> > > > __________
> > > > While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I
> passed a display
> > > > of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and
> twenty pounds
> > > > since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I
> sought my husband's
> > > > advice.
> > > > "What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a bikini or
an
> all-in-one?"
> > > > "Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it
all
> in one."
> > > > __________
> > > > Grandpa was driving with his 9 year old granddaughter
and
> beeped the
> > > > horn by mistake. She turned and looked at him for an
> explanation.
> > > > He said, "I did that by accident."
> > > > She replied, "I know that, Grandpa."
> > > > He replied, "How did you know?"
> > > > She said, "Because you didn't say "asshole!" after
> > >
>
>
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A man in a mental institution is shouting "I am George Washington."
After three or four times yelling this, another patient yells, "How do you know that?"
The reply that came was "Napoleon told me." Shortly after you hear another patient shout "I DID NOT!!!"
(It wasn't quite as funny by memory, but it was helarious the way i read it before... lol)
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Hehehe! Those are both funny....... [img]biggrin.gif[/img]
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BAAHAHAHAHAHA, I THINK THAT WAS HILARIOUS DEJABLUE!
