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LOS ANGELES AREA DRIVER'S LICENSE APPLICATION :
Name : ________________
Stage name : _____________________
Agent : _____________________
Attorney : _____________________
Sex : ______ male ____female _____formerly male ____ formerly female ____
both
If female, indicate breast implant size : _____
Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to safety operate a motor
vehicle in any way?
Yes _____ No ____
Please list brand of cell phone : _______
(If you don't own a cell phone, please explain.) ________
Please check hair color :
Females :
[ ] Blonde
[ ] Platinum Blonde
Teenagers :
[ ] Purple
[ ] Blue
[ ] Skinhead
Please indicate activities you perform while driving :
(Check all that apply)
[ ] Eating
[ ] Applying make-up
[ ] Talking on the phone
[ ] Slapping kids in the backseat
[ ] Having sex
[ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs
[ ] Tanning
[x] Snorting cocaine (already checked for ease of application)
[ ] Watching TV
[ ] Reading Variety Magazine
[ ] Surfing the net via laptop
Please indicate how many times :
a) You expect to shoot at other drivers:______
b) You expect to be shot at while driving : _______
Please indicate your number of therapy sessions per week : ___________
Are you presently taking any of the following medications ?
a) Prozac
b) Zovirax
c) Lithium
d) Zanax
e) Valium
If none, please explain : _____________
What is the length of your daily commute :
a) 1 hour
b) 2 hours
c) 3 hours
d) 4 hours or more
TEST (Please indicate the correct answer):
If you are the victim of a car jacking, you should immediately:
a) Call the police to report the crime
b) Call Channel 4 News to report the crime, then watch your car on TV
c) Call your attorney and discuss a lawsuit against the cellular phone
company for your 911 call not going through
d) Call your therapist
e) None of the above (South Central residents only)
In the event of an earthquake, you should:
a) Stop the car
b) Keep driving and hope for the best
c) Immediately use your cell phone to call all loved ones
d) Pull out your video camera and obtain footage for Channel 4
In the event of rain, you should:
a) Never drive over 5 MPH
b) Drive twice as fast as usual
c) You're not sure what "rain" is
When stopped by police, you should:
a) Pull over and have your driver's license and insurance form ready
b) Try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the 405
c) Have your video camera ready and provoke them to attack, ensuring
yourself of a hefty lawsuit
Please turn your test in to the lady behind the bullet-proof virtual window
on your left.
Thank you.
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Heheh...this reminds me of a redneck driver's license thingie I got in an email...I'll have to see if I've still got it.
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