The Cayman Islands Double Elimination Tournament

The Cayman Islands Double Elimination Tournament

16 celebrities were brought to a secluded resort on one of the smaller islands in the Cayman chain (Cayman Brac) to compete in a double-elimination tournament at the behest of a wealthy enthusiast. These stories are short reports on the results of the matches that I had the fortune to witness on a vacation there.

The hotel was quite a lovely, open air affair, and the ring was a shaded well by imported palm trees up top and in the evening, the thick mangrove trees on the beach shaded the arena in the afternoon and morning. It fortunately did not distract from the view the arena had of the beach.

The arena itself was a 12 by 12 pro style ring, surrounded by loose sand a good foot deep.

I should know, part of paying my way there was filling the damned thing. Helped build the ring, too. Ah, the glories off being a Gofer.

What rules there were basically limited to cat fighting/pro wrestling with a little sex fighting thrown in for the sex appeal of it all. Winners were determined by submission (verbal or physical, take that as you will), a called for pin or knockout.

It followed pretty standard double elimination rules, but with the caveat that eliminated contestants could challenge each other afterwards if they felt the urge to (or a rich patron offered an incentive for it and they agreed).

It wasn’t long after I finished filling the space outside the ring that the small jets started to arrive and the festivities began. I tried my best to hobnob, but I doubt there’s much interest there and it honestly only went well in a few places (darned fanboyisms). We should get to the fights.

They started the following morning at 9, long after breakfast. The sun was still decently low in the sky when the fighters came out and took their seats outside the ring. Each fighter came out in a fighters robe which held remarkable sheen in the morning light. Underneath I could see the lycra (or was it spandex--it was tight fighting and stretchy whatever it was) hot pants and sport tops they each sported, forming to their curves almost perfectly. The Alphabetical order for the matches made for some interesting match ups, but also some apparent squashes.

Jessica Alba vs. Morena Baccarin
Jessica Biel vs. Rosario Dawson
Lexa Doig vs. Eliza Dushku
Summer Glau vs. Anne Hathaway
Chiaki Kuriyama vs. Grace Park
Freida Pinto vs. Natalie Portman
Michelle Rodriguez vs. Zoe Saldana

Jessica Alba vs. Morena Baccarin

Morena was one of the few ladies to give me the time of day in the day before the festivities, so I was rooting for her the whole way (and not just because I’m a fan of Firefly). Morena had the power, but Alba had the speed. Alba kept her distance with offhand strikes and odd angle grapple attempts, but once a lock was made, Morena turned her mild weight advantage and easily dominated her on the ground. Alba, however, was quite adept at worming her way out. The rising sun and their activity left the ladies coated in a fine film of sweat, which soaked into their hair and left it hanging in curled bunches as they battled for dominance.

The tide of battle turned after Morena was caught in Alba’s body scissors. Alba’s gritted teeth and the groans coming from Morena told me all I needed to know about how powerful that hold was. Part of me would love to be between those legs, but nightmares of Xenia Onatop kept such thoughts at bay. Morena fought through it and managed to work herself up from lying on her side, writhing in pain, to sitting up on one knee. I cheered feverishly as she managed to stand despite the pain and Alba’s twisting the throw her off balance. She got perilously close, too, but Morena steadied herself on the cage, thwarting the attempt.

Morena leaned down and wrapped her arms around Alba’s stomach and picked her up. Alba tried to fight out of it by slapping and even punching Morena in the head—but it was futile. Morena let out a grin as she slammed Alba back to the sand in a nasty power bomb. The thud from her body hitting the mat made the ring shake a bit and forced the air out of Alba’s lung, freeing Morena from her scissors hold.

As Alba writhed, Morena took a moment to catch her breath, leaning on the cage—but it was only a moment. As Alba saw stars, Morena moved in for the kill, dropping both her knees on Alba’s taught tummy. A forced, coughed scream escaped Alba’s lungs as Morena bounced off and Alba rolled to the side, clutching her stomach.

Morena took a few seconds to catch her breath before lying down next to Alba placing a headlock on the dazed, bleary-eyed woman and calling to the crowd: “How should I finish this?”

I at first called out sleeper, but there were more cries for a smother, and a few for a DDT.

She went with a breast smother. She stood up to her knees, bringing the latina up with her, before cupping Alba’s face into her cleavage. Alba sprang to life, struggling to get out.

Tap outs were not possible in a smother, choke or sleeper hold in this tournament. She had to escape or pass out and she soon discovered she could not escape.

Alba faded faster than I thought she would (must have been worn from the struggle) and grew still. Morena immediately released the hold and left the slumbering Latina to her devices as she received the accolades off victories (which included my own over-enthusiastic cheers).

Jessica Biel vs. Rosario Dawson

Did I mention that between matches, I got to wipe down the mat and clean up the sand? Yeah, I did that. Someone else had the fortune of carrying the unconscious Alba back to the recovery room while Morena sat back on the fighter?s bench to watch the rest of the festivities.

Or just see who her next opponent would be.

Two big girls went at it next. Most of the money went on Biel, for being bigger and more athletic. She exuded confidence in the ring. Dawson was a sweet girl when I did get a chance to talk to her and a bit of a nerd too. Most people expected a squash.

What they got was a 30 minute power-slammin? slug-fest.

Both ladies traded punches and power slams like they were relentless machines, but they couldn?t run forever. Eventually, they were reduced to trading grapples and holds, a film of sweat covered their bodies and eased their escapes, protracting the battle.

After working her way out of a grapevine, Dawson managed to bring herself back up to her knees, but Biel kept hold of her as she did?eventually working her grip into an impressive bear hug. Both ladies? faces twisted in pain and effort as Dawson tried to return the bear hug back on her attacker, but her arms were pinned to her side, lessening the strength of her grip.

Dawson tried to roll things back to the ground, vying for the top position. Though she did manage to topple Biel, she fought hard to get the top position. In the end, the war for the top broke the hold, but the faster Biel spun around Dawson and locked her arm around the dark beauty?s head and drove her face into the mat with a powerful push, in a short-fall DDT. Dawson grunted in pain, her arms instinctively reaching for her head.

But Biel wasn?t done. With Dawson momentarily stunned, Biel kept the headlock on and stood up to her knees . A cruel grin crossed her face as she delivered another shortened DDT to her rival, this time from a higher height, eliciting another grunt, shaking Dawson?s whole body. Then she stood all the way up and delivered a proper DDT to Dawson?s head, which nearly flipped Dawson end over end, but Biel maintained the lock and spun with the free fall of her opponent.

She stood up all the way, drawing on her reserves of strength and hoisted Dawson into the air for her final modified DDT. Dawson crashed to the mat and her body shivered bonelessly as the force cascaded through her body.

Biel rolled the dark skinned woman over and confirmed for all that Dawson was out cold. Biel had to be helped to her feet and after the adulation; she followed her rival to the backrooms to recover. A truly spectacular match.

Good stuff! I know it's not easy doing an entire tournament, but I still hope you manage to finish it!

I agree with Amateur - please go on!

I've got 4 others written already, but I want to spread out the posting so as to keep a steady pace. That and I have a convention coming up, so there may be weekend breaks, but I plan to go through with this.

Not that any of my plans have ever come to fruition...but the format allows for shorter stories when needed, so I should be good.

Terrific start Randomman....This is definately going to have a place on our Tournament Page.

NOTE: Ginny's been busy the past year or so and hasn't done as much writing (or much else web site wise) as she'd like. The next couple of months look like she'll be able to get back to posting OUR WRITERS work on our pages....and there are a signifcant number of broken/non-functioning links to be repaired. In addition, there are still quite a few stories K&G have written that SHOULD be cleaned up and posted. SO IF YOU'RE A FAN, DON'T GIVE UP HOPE!

Lexa Doig vs. Eliza Dushku

I tried to talk to Eliza in the before party, but that didn?t quite happen. Thus I kind hoped she?d be conscious after this match with Lexa. The Asian had a few years, inches and pounds on Eliza, but Eliza did more stunt work. I told myself that would actually matter.

And early on it did quite a bit. Eliza denied Lexa?s attempts to grapple her with kicks, knees and punches. Eliza drove the Asian woman into the corner and pounded away on here several times throughout the match. But Lexa did get her hands on Eliza and pulled her to the mat with several extended holds session. Eliza twisted out of her hammer locks, noodled out of grapevines and squirmed her way out of a schoolgirl pin.

After getting back to her feet, Eliza began to cement her path to victory with a leaping knee to Lexa?s chin. It spun Lexa around and left her in a daze as Eliza wrapped her pale arms around Lexa and nailed her with a suplex. Eliza held it and called for a pin, but Lexa kicked out.

Eliza growled in frustration and kicked Lexa several times in the ribs as she lay on the ground.

After a few second passed as Eliza caught her breath, she grabbed Lexa by her matted hair and pulled her to her feet. Lexa futilely clawed at Eliza?s chest, and received a retaliatory elbow for her efforts.

Eliza whipped Lexa into the ropes and flattened her with a super kick on the return trip. I thought that would be the end of it, but Eliza had another plan. That plan being a top rope leg drop that jackknifed Lexa?s body something fierce. Her body flopped like a fish before coming still. Eliza looked down on her opponent and sneered as she stood up.

A 10 count later and Eliza was the winner by a rather nasty knockout.

Summer Glau vs. Anne Hathaway

Anne Hathaway had a reputation as a creampuff, but here she had two inches and a slightly more curves than her opponent. On the other hand, it?s hard to pick a roll that Glau had been apart o that didn?t take advantage of her ballerina-trained resistance to pain and flexibility. Also, she was a terminator.

And Hathaway was Catwoman. Oh, the Nerd versus debates ran rampant, but for me, Summer had a one up from being in Firefly.

Anne had a good showing, even towards the end of the match, where she was far worse for wear than her opponent. Anne held a powerful bear hug on Summer, swinging her back and forth as Summer shouted and growled her anger and pain. Summer?s arms were free, but Anne was smart about the fight?squeezing her tightly at erratic rates, sending spasms down her body and stopping Summer from mounting an effective counter attack.

It was a damaging, painful hold, but Summer grit through it and eventually Anne grew frustrated and threw her into one of the corners and began a series of corner stomps. Satisfied with the damage she wrought, Anne moved in for more violence, grabbing Summer by the hair and slamming her back into the corner.

Summer fought back, kicking Anne in the gut and sending her stumbling back. Summer leapt up to the second turnbuckle in one swift movement, leapt off it and planted both her feet in Anne?s chest, flooring the taller girl. Anne quickly rolled to the side while Summer lay on her back, catching her breath. She waited a bit too long, though as Anne rolled over Summer and attempted to put on a reverse breast smother on the dancer.

Summer struggled bravely as Anne tried to lock the hold on her head until Summer brought her legs together and with a dancer?s grace, flipper herself onto Anne?s back and pulled herself out of the hold. She almost toppled over but she managed to hold onto a seated position on Anne?s back for a few seconds before Anne began to thrash.

In response, Summer clamped her hands underneath Anne?s chin and pulled her back in a perfect Camel Clutch. Anne?s face twisted in agony and she let out a pained groan as Summer pulled back for a good minute. She was asked if she quit, but Anne refused.

After the third time the ref asked and Anne kept refusing, Summer slammed Anne?s face to the mat.

She let Anne roll over and locked a figure four head scissors on her opponent. Summer?s face was rather cold as Anne?s thrashed her legs and clawed at Summer?s legs futility. Anne?s eye?s fluttered and she stopped fighting back, rendering another win by knockout.

Damn, these girls were serious.

Christina Hendricks vs. Scarlett Johansson

Boobs. That’s what this match was about. Boobs. There was no denying it. Even their tops were customized to show off their ample mammarys. And there was only one way it could end as well.

And the number of times I made Freudian slips while typing this out: 7.

It was some sort of unspoken agreement that this was going to be a titfight. Attacks to and with breasts being the only things they’d use. To openly display this, they took off their tops and let the crowd see their natural beauty in all their glory. Just from the visuals, it was easily to tell that Christina was bigger, but hers were softer and were lest pert than the younger Scarlett’s. Making a choice between the two based on visuals alone would be anything but objective.

It started out with trading slaps to the chest. Christina’s larger reach made me tick that round off as a win in her column, as she forced Scarlett to stumble back twice during the 10 traded blows. The next round was breast clawing, where each one took turns twisting the others massive breasts. In this case, Scarlett’s enthusiasm proved more effective and almost knocked Christina off her feet. I gave that round to her.

Next came a chest to chest balance/pushing contest of some sort. They locked their fingers and pressed their bodies together. The act of them pressing their damp bodies together made a slight noise and cupped their breasts up ever so slightly. They pusehd against their rival in an effort to bend them over far enough to apparently knock them on their back. Here, Christina's greater height and reach played to her advantage, but despite this, it was pretty dead even for a good 4 minutes before Christina pushed Scarlett back so far she lost her balance and fell to her back.

The giggle was hypnotic.

Finally, there was the bear hug competition. Scarlett started out and did a good job getting Christina to scream, but hold her off the ground for long periods of time and ended up shaking her back and forth on the ground. Christina however had no such problems lifting and shaking the smaller woman. Scarlet’s screams filled the air relatively quickly as she was shaken like a rag doll in Christina’s python-like grip.

Unceremoniously, Christina tossed Scarlett to the ground after the apparently allotted time. The winner was pretty clear. Scarlett lay on her back, slightly dazed, but resigned to her fate as Christina knelt next to her. Scarlet’s leg bent up as she turned to her conqueror. Christina locked eyes with her and gently stroked her hair. Christina gently kissed Scarlett, almost lovingly I’d say. Scarlett seems to think so as well, because after a minute of it, her hips began to pump ever so slightly as first as Christina asserted herself with both her lips and her chest. Christina moved to straddle Scarlett’s waist and she began stroking Scarlett’s own impressive bosom, whilst covering it with her own.

Christina slowly broke of the kiss, wrapped her arms around Scarlett’s head, and brought her face to Christina’s chest. Scarlett held onto Christina, not thrashing, just letting her know when to release the hold as her arms fell to the floor unmoving. Another knockout.

But one I envied ever so much.