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I've got a few questions for you peeps, I'd would be nice of some sort of serious discussion could come out of it!
Okay, here goes:
1)Do you want kids?
2)Would you adopt one? 3)Would you adopt one if you couldn't produce offspring yourself?
4)(for the guys) If you were infertile, would you be okay with it if your wife would get the 'stuff' from a (annoymous?) donor?
5)(for the women) If you were infertile, would you be okay with a surrogate mother? (did I put that right?)
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Here are my answers:
1) I doubt it. Maybe this sounds harsh, but why I would I give up my own life to create another?
I am probably to selfish to give up my life for a baby. I will have to study for another 6 or 7 years, so when I'm done I'll be about 27 years old. I'm not going to school for all these years to sit at home with a kid afterwards. I don't feel like giving up all of my freedom for a kid. I like to go out in the weekends, but you can't always leave your kid alone with a babysitter. What about sexlife? I don't think a lot will happen while you're pregnant (eeeew). When the baby is born you'll be up a lot of nights, but not to enjoy the night with your partner. Little kids want to sleep in between mommy and daddy. And when they're older you can't fool them with 'mommy and daddy are just wrestling a bit' Maybe this (about the sexlife) sounds stupid to you, but I think sex is an important part of a relationship. Without sex you could just as well be best friends.
Maybe 'making a baby' sounds very romantic. Yes it is literaly a part of you two. But having a baby takes so much responsability. You are 'stuck' with them for about 20 years. That's the way I see it.
This doesn't mean that I wouldn't love my baby if I'd ever get pregnant by 'accident' and keep it. It's just that I would never choose to make one in the first place.
I just think that you'll have to give up so much for a baby. Especially when you're the woman, everyone expects you to become a houswife.
I have a lot of plans for my life. I want to finish college, I want to see the world. A kid doesn't fit into this. If you want kids you have to be there for them 100%, and I know I can't give that. At least not yet. Maybe one day I'll change my mind, who knows.
2) and 3) No, same reasons as above.
5) No, if I wanted a kid, I would want a kid of my very own and my husbands. No spermdonor of surrogate mother. I'd rather adopt a kid then having my husbands sperm inside another woman! O_o Or another guy's 'belongings' inside of me for that matter. If we couldn't get kids together, then I wouldn't want none at all.
Now, let's see what you have to say!
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Princess, Having Had Sufficient
Experience With Princes, Seeks Frog.
~SpawnyGirl~ ~Angel of Fire~
[This message has been edited by Day-Z (edited March 28, 2001).]
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I'll have to think about this for a bit before I answer.I've already had "the scare" and it made me see things in a new light, but Michael told me something the other day that was very enlightening about how I looked at babies and stuff.
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~Now that I have found someone I am feeling more alone than I ever have before.~ Brick: Ben Folds Five
~These posts are for entertainment purposes only. Thank you.~ by D.A.N.
~Murder one I didn't know what I did
I figured it out by murder two
Murder three I stopped feeling ashamed
This is me I'm going for you.~ by:dwim
~I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.~
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Speaking from an Infertile woman's viewpoint..Been trying for over 11 years and have finally admitted that I really dont want children..Ive only been trying because
A: Parents/In Laws/Family expected me to breed
B: My husband wanted kids
C: Society as a whole expects you to have kids once your married
When I explain that I dont want kids..most people are shocked that Im so "selfish"..They cant believe that Im very happy with my lifestyle as it is and that I dont feel the need to reproduce to feel "fulfilled" as a woman.
Im always asked if I want to adopt..again I say no..If I cant have a child of my own..well..I really dont want anothers child..Once again people find that statement very hard to accept for some reason.
As for donor sperm..ICKY..period!
And as for Surrogacy..I can carry a child myself and the legal hassles of having another woman carry your child are too much of a headache to be bothered with.
If I ever had the opportunity to have a child then it would definately be a child from my body with my husbands sperm..no one else involved.
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Sounds of laughter..
Shades of love...
Death Defying
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1. YES
2. YES
3. YES
4. NO
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1)Do you want kids? Not really
2)Would you adopt one? I'd adopt one rather than have one, I think
3)Would you adopt one if you couldn't produce offspring yourself? I'd adopt one even if I could, I think
5)(for the women) If you were infertile, would you be okay with a surrogate mother? (did I put that right?) Depends on how I was infertile. If I couldn't bear them myself yet my eggs were good, yes, I would. If not, I don't know. I don't even plan on ever getting married...
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1. I want to be a parent someday, but I don't want to be pregnant. My gf would probably have the child.
2. Yes, I'd adopt. Lots of kids need good homes.
3. See #2.
5. Well, I'd prefer my gf carrying the child or out and out adoption. I really wouldn't want a surrogate.
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1. Yes , one day but not anytime soon
2. Yes
3. Yes
4. Hell No
[This message has been edited by DarkLord (edited March 29, 2001).]
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Want Kids?: Yes
Adopt: No
Adopt if my sperm went wacko or dead: No
Wife getting annoymous sperm: No
If I'm going to have a child, it'll either be my sperm and her egg or no child at all.
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If the Master does not approve, neither do you.
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Lady Belle, I totally agree with you. I'm glad I'm not the only 'selfish' woman around http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/wink.gif
I'm happy that my bf feels the same way about kids, I think it is a very difficult situation when one wants kids desperately and the other one doesn't want kids at all. How did/do you deal with that?
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Princess, Having Had Sufficient
Experience With Princes, Seeks Frog.
~SpawnyGirl~ ~Angel of Fire~
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Day-Z, that is not being "selfish", thats making your own choice about yourself and if anyone doesnt like it tell them to bugger off http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/wink.gif
