number one....
some people have no business making songs
dear god, please don't just create a group
because you think you are hot shit... more
on this as you progress through the thread.
number two...
don't choose a stupid name. if you have a
gay band name... hope to hell you can make
up for it in musical ability... cuz chances
are, you are going to suck regardless.
i just heard some... er... music by a band
named 'crab cakes'. this is a perfect example.
the band name blows. its not clever... its
obviously half-assed... and i don't care
if the members have some 'profound' reason
behind the name... DO NOT pick the name
because you think its clever and can't wait
for the day someone non-important asks
you to define it because they are doing a
fucking interview for their high school
newspaper.
no one cares. no one wants to know the
meaning behind a name UNLESS its obviously
interesting. 'crab cakes' isn't interesting.
its boring.
moving on....
number three...
stop writing songs directed to/of/about
jesus... its boring and used (xtian bands
are exempt).
let's talk more about crab cakes....
listened to one of their tunes... through
the gurgle of saliva and bad parenting,
i heard a mention of jesus and maybe even
something about wayward people... fuck that.
i'm tired of hearing washed up eddie vedder
wanna-bes singing about moronic subjects.
no... you aren't educating the masses.
the masses are tired and want you to get off
the pulpit... please.
number four...
limit your intro....
i am so SICK of hearing (practically) the
entire song played instrumentally PRIOR to
any vocals (should it apply). unless you
have some trick up your sleeve, having a
long intro is insulting... mainly cuz its
like trying to teach a room full of 3rd
graders how the song goes before introducting
the words....
trust me when i say, that if the song is
good... people will remember how it goes...
(and i would still prolly skip the intro)
number five...
there is a reason its called a song...
that means music. duh. otherwise you are
merely some second-generation beatnik
reading 'spoken song' in some smoke-filled,
dimly lit room full of other drunk beatniks
that have nothing better to do then to
sit there on their woolen asses snapping
to dead air.
pass it on
number six...
please... for the love of all things made
of cheese... STOP with the cobain shit!!!!
i just heard some shit by this could-be-better
band that, i swear to god, sounded like
cobain revisited. in fact, had it not been
for the fact that the music was repetitive
and gay, i'd almost swear it WAS cobain...
(well, and the fact that he's fucking DEAD).
i don't want to experience nirvana at every
interval. let it rest...
number seven...
be selective about your pics...
'interesting' is good... 'been done' is, well, done.
do not attempt to appear hardcore... save
that for live pics... if you have to.
nothing rubs me wrong MORE than seeing a
band pic in which people are trying to
appear rock steady. i could point to a
particular board in this very category as
a prime example... but i shant.
also... please avoid any gay 'thought provoking'
imagery. abstract is great! butta...
there's really nothing wrong with getting
someone with an actual EYE for art to
do the pics. kk? great.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
that's it for now... i'm sure this will
be continued... as i'm still listening to
more shit.... meh
