The Smackademy Awards

To commemorate the upcoming Oscars, and to try to burn out the "Poll" feature on this here new board, I propose conducting The Smackademy Awards. This ceremony will honor those who have made recognizeable and noteworthy contributions to cybersmack, and will be held in similar fashion to how the Oscars are done.

It would likely have to be done through a series of steps. The first would be to identify all the award categories, then to nominate posters, followed by winnowing the nominees down to a select few, and finally voting among the finalists and determining the winners.

To start with, I've come up with the following to get things rolling:

Best Poster, Drama -- IB, indexhb, DrDetroit, Grandpa Cobra, Van

Best Poster, Comedy -- Python, Biggie, Bacefelice, Uncle Fester, EuroClone, enolc, itsanalias

Most Bitter Poster -- warrenton, IB, Bacefelice, sirfindafold, inkydave, 1smooth_G

Niiiiiicest Poster -- tomasmk2, mothomus, Deej, reina

Special Effects -- Headhunter, recess22, TVO, Harsh, orcinus, JHawkBCD

Feature-length Production -- Van (Lord of the Rings), OmegaVerb (The Smacktrix), socalvansmack (Dr. Smackglove), Smackie (Of Tards and Trolls)

Best Poster, Documentary -- Catfish, Friend of Ours, mvscal, DrDetroit, indexhb

Poster of the Year -- ?

These are just off the top off my head...feel free to suggest new categories and other nominees. I'll work on getting Billy Crystal to host it.

<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ February 19, 2002 04:49 PM: Message edited by: Smackie Chan ]</font>

The role of Susan Lucci will be played by... Bacefelice.

How about the most obvious...

Best Poster, Smack

It's just a thought.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor="#DDDDDD"><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by MgoBlue-LightSpecial:
How about the most obvious...

Best Poster, Smack

It's just a thought.</font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>

And a damn good one too, I might add.

If see Joan Rivers or her ugly son anywhere near the Red Carpet, I am going to fight them.

Sincerely,
All of the clones


Now, where did I put my powder blue tuxedo?

best supporting poster aka Troll

Best Troll

Best Pic Poster/Wytcher

Best Supporting Troll

Hell I don't know!!!

fukk Billy Crystal. I'll host the damn thing, ok?

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor="#DDDDDD"><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Invictus:
If see Joan Rivers or her ugly son anywhere near the Red Carpet, I am going to fight them.

Sincerely,
All of the clones


Now, where did I put my powder blue tuxedo?</font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>

Damn, McVictus, you DO have a sense of humor

http://www.hostboard.com/forums/ http://www.hostboard.com/forums/ http://www.hostboard.com/forums/

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor="#DDDDDD"><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Steve Sax:
fukk Billy Crystal. I'll host the damn thing, ok?</font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>

Might be tough to host while recieving the "Best Troll" award.

So, Hosedboard works again?

The Rodney Award- Poster who gets the least respect.

Best Girlfriend of a Poster?

http://www.hostboard.com/forums/

What about poster witht the Most Trolls???

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor="#DDDDDD"><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Patsy Stone:
Best Girlfriend of a Poster?

</font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>

peehole in a landslide.

Best titty pics?

Thanks Cuda.

Smackie, how about an award for lifetime achievement? Some possible nominees are TVO, Caddie (posthumously), Luther.

Most epic meltdown:

Ahh, Im properly attired now. Can I be a presenter Smackie. Watch me pull a "Liz Taylor at the Golden Globes."
http://www.disguise.com/db_images/194.jpg

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor="#DDDDDD"><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Smackie Chan:

Feature-length Production -- Van (Lord of the Rings), OmegaVerb (The Smacktrix), socalvansmack (Dr. Smackglove), Smackie (Of Tards and Trolls)
<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ February 19, 2002 04:49 PM: Message edited by: Smackie Chan ]</font></font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>

Troll Metal Jacket by RTS
....or do older features not count?

Rack this thread.

Perhaps also Mod of the Year and Tard of the Year.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor="#DDDDDD"><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Jsc810:

Perhaps also Mod of the Year and Tard of the Year.</font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>


I see your angle there JSC, Go for the two in one award and save time on acceptance speeches. Nice. Rack it!

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor="#DDDDDD"><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Dr Bob:


Troll Metal Jacket by RTS
....or do older features not count?</font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>

If not, maybe we need a Cecil B. de Troll Lifetime Achievement Award for someone who helped develop the Feature Length Production as we know it now....

...nudge, nudge...

i concede to tomas-----i have yet to see him smack anyone and i will when dealer calls

wait, we're the same dude

ALSO

best board bitch
best pile-on
most thread deletions
most edits

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor="#DDDDDD"><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Dr Bob:


If not, maybe we need a Cecil B. de Troll Lifetime Achievement Award for someone who helped develop the Feature Length Production as we know it now....

...nudge, nudge...</font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>
Uh, if you still have it, you might want to post your 2001: A Smack Oddysey again here to refresh people's memories.

I never make ANY lists!

OK, Smackie include these as well:

Most improved poster:

Poster most likely to suck:

Poster you wouldn't want to turn your back on:

Board humanitarian:

Gone but not forgotten selection:

Forgotten but not gone selection:

Favorite "I've got yo back" poster:

Top "hottie" poster:

<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ February 19, 2002 06:19 PM: Message edited by: Bobby42 ]</font>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor="#DDDDDD"><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Invictus:

Uh, if you still have it, you might want to post your 2001: A Smack Oddysey again here to refresh people's memories.</font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>

Shit, I forgot about that one, that was with TVO. I don't have it, although I might have Apocasmack Now! somewhere on disk, that was the first one of mine anyway....

Actually, shit, I hope I can find it.

In the spirit of Francis Ford's rerelease, it might be appropriate to release Apocasmack Now Redux....


http://www.hostboard.com/forums/

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor="#DDDDDD"><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Invictus:
Thanks Cuda.

Smackie, how about an award for lifetime achievement? Some possible nominees are TVO, Caddie (posthumously), Luther.

Most epic meltdown:

Ahh, Im properly attired now. Can I be a presenter Smackie. Watch me pull a "Liz Taylor at the Golden Globes."
http://www.hostboard.com/forums/hbmc...2002/02/12.jpg</font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>

Nice suit! What white boy did you steal it off of?

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor="#DDDDDD"><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Biggie:

"Best Girlfriend Of A Poster?"

peehole in a landslide.</font></font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>

Okay, that one puts Biggie in the Funniest Poster final balloting against Python. Case closed.

Smackie.......drama??? LOL!!!!

<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ February 19, 2002 07:22 PM: Message edited by: Van [down by the river] ]</font>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor="#DDDDDD"><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Van [down by the river]:
"Best Girlfriend?"



Okay, that one puts Biggie in the final balloting against Python. Case closed.

Smackie.......drama??? LOL!!!!</font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>

How could you not be included in this category, what with all your involvement in As The Message Board Turns, or if you will, The Run and the Smackless. I can't spit without the loogy landing on some thread full of drama and intrigue in which you've deposited your two cents. Whether it be in defense of IB, or railing against Miss C, or trying to teach TN some manners, you're usually involved, and at the center of the storm. So yes, that's why you get a nomination. So stop lol already...it ruins the dramatic effect.

Biggie won funniest poster a while back. Pencil him in and let's vote on the other categories.

Some cool suggestions so far...voters should start considering their nominees in the following categories:

Smack Artist of the Year
Board Bitch of the Year
Troll of the Year
Tardliest Poster
Comeback Poster of the Year
Hottie Poster of the Year
<font size = 1>Mod of the Year</font>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor="#DDDDDD"><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Python:
Biggie won funniest poster a while back. Pencil him in and let's vote on the other categories.</font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>

Thanks, man. But truth be told, 3 of the "Laugh Off" judges were my trolls, and the others were just bandwagon-jumpers. The whole thing is under investigation, and I really shouldn't say any more.

I'll nominate D-Dogg and Dr Bob for Smack Artist of the Year, Chan Man.

Actually, I was just trying to make a noble gesture in hopes of winning over some votes. http://www.hostboard.com/forums/

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor="#DDDDDD"><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Python:
Actually, I was just trying to make a noble gesture in hopes of winning over some votes. http://www.hostboard.com/forums/ </font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>

Now that's Old School!

I'm gonna take my chances with bribes.

On a side note, I just noticed that these new smilies look stupid.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor="#DDDDDD"><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Python:

I just noticed that these new smilies look stupid.</font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>

They smell funny too.

Best Reason to Assume All Women are Men: rebel girl, alicia klass, sweetpea, wendy lou bitch, gateway rep/nasty valerie

Rookie of the Year: Pogue Mahone/Ertai

Classiest Poster: Redskins Dame

Best Reason to be up at 4 in the morning: Miss Jo

So there was an ApocoSmack Now ... I'm glad I didn't remake it.

My next feature length thread will be "Schindler's Smack" ... or "Wizard of Smack" ... or "Fast Times @ Smackmont High" ...

My thoughts regarding categories ...

Best PicWytch: Overall

[i]Best UBB Code Usage[/b]

This sounds great.
A little tip though Smackie, don't let David Copperfield do the artwork. If you do don't pay him in advance. Lest you forget my Smackies. Dude ran with the production money to film a documentery on Elgrande and Cuda's quest for a marriage liscence.

Thanks, SC.

You too, moth, hey, of the 4 nicest candidates, 3 are Texans, cool.