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as marlon brando once said....
for those who have NOT been through this, no explanation is possible
and for those who HAVE been through this, none is necessary
i understand dave....and i know your dad feels you there, even if he can't let you know...i've seen your tenderness with him and i am sure he can feel your love
hugs
just after fiona posted this...
she got a call that her dad had passed away...
i am at a loss for any words-
how could this be?
how could ...
how?
why?
doesn't seem to matter...craig is gone.
my prayers go out to anne (fi's mum)
and to fi, rhona, and their brother at this
time.
my tears are just a small measure
of my hearts pain as
i walk thru this with someone who
means so much to me.
may a higher power give her and her family the strength and the peace needed to get through this loss.
dave
i let kirb out to pee...and read this
i just sit gulping tears.... for I know that feeling well
Fi...for your loss I am sorry... Im thinking only the best thoughts for you and your family as always...
We used to talk about your dad some and I know that nothing I can say will make you feel better or take away even a tinge of pain... but
you two, were lucky to have each other...
may peace be with you....
Fi i got your email...i dont know what to say just yet..i will be trying to call you soon as i feel its appropriate..i love you..
Dave im sorry to hear of your dad too..fiona had told me things werent good on your end..i'll say a prayer for him and you..
To Dave......
~hugs~...I am so sorry for what you are going thru right now w/yer dad.
It is not easy to watch someone you love die.
Sometimes, it is ok, to not say "I love you,"
for your heart, and his, knows what it feels..and that IS love.
Just what i believe anyway.
Please take care, my thoughts are with you.
Chloe......I know you have been thru it, and how hard it has been for you, losing yer dad.
I am sure he is even more proud of you, now as you make your way through life.....touching so many people along the way with your great big heart, and infectious laughter. I love ya, demon.
Fiona, I am so very sorry for your loss.
I know it has been a struggle, for yer dad for quite sometime.
I can only wish you and your family, some type of peace, during this difficult time.
Keep the memories alive.
~hugs~ [img]graemlins/rainbow.gif[/img]
<font color="#683355" size="1">[ March 17, 2005 07:09 PM: Message edited by: Kassy ]</font>
i once wrote that the only thing that can come too late is "i love you"...but as i watch my father die,
there is so much more
i wish i had said.
i hold his hand as his
withered body struggles
to breathe and brush his
white hair with my fingers
and wonder what his brain is
doing...
he usta be six foot plus...
but the last time i saw him
up he was barely five foot
nine-
he will always be twelve foot
six to me.
i usta wish and pray for him
to have another day-
now,
it's different.
it's the time between now
and never
or is that
now and
forever?
may his journey be
swift
and his cross-over
be painless.
pop- ya never said
"i love you"
but it's not too
late...for either
of us.
dam
Fi mailed me earlier and she was headed for Scotland..the funeral is Wed..id like to do something special if you all will look for a post around tuesday evening..we will do what we usually do for the ones we cant be with to show our sympathy and love..I'll make up something between now and then and you guys can help me out.. [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img]
TJ..*hugs you* you know too what all this is about.. [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img]
Yep. People live, people die. You'll never say everything you want to, but be satisfied with what you have said or you'll just seriously fuck yourself up.
When my grandfather was in a coma....( he had cancer spread throughout his entire body, including his spine),, my family and relatives almost held a vigil, by his bedside at the hospital.
For a week, he held on after "the surgery"...
Day after day, we would walk in, one by one, to be alone with him in "i.c.u".
My realitives sat outside, while i walked in, to see my grandfather for the last time.
I told him many things........he was in a coma, but the nurses told me to talk to him anyway.
I did, i told him how sorry i was that we never saw eye to eye, and for our differences, for there were many.
I then told him , that i forgave him, over a situation, i shall not talk about here.
As i forgave him, a tear rolled down his cheek...and as i said he WAS in a coma.
He heard me. ..i know this......
Just needed to share that.....
Chele, i will be waiting for the post to see what i can do to help Fi through this time.
~peace everyone~ [img]graemlins/broken_heart.gif[/img]
wow.. some rough times here..
hugs my fi...
and dave...
deep sigh..
i got a phone call yesterday at work..
and ecstatic!...
my brother was let out of jail...
...finally!!..
this morning they called to say he od'd last night..
funny how shit works, eh..
Paige.....
though i don't believe we really knew eachother, i know i have met you before.
Regardless.....I am sorry for what you, and so many seem to be going through right now.
Life can seem harsh, and cruel.
Last night, a "distant" friend of mine died.
I have been crying all day......life sometimes seem to just *****************
BUT, tis the folks here, in v/t......and in r/t who help us get through.
Is at a loss..... [img]frown.gif[/img]
<font color="#683355" size="1">[ March 17, 2005 08:09 PM: Message edited by: Kassy ]</font>
*lays nine single red roses along the ground one by one then quietly walks away*
I read this thread early this morning..and at the
time i couldn't post...i just cried..but i came
back..and im crying even more....
I thank God everyday that my parents are both
fairly healthy and that i have them back in my
life....and everytime i see them now...i tell
them i love them...cause growing up it was never
said...i just knew it..in my heart...
i had to lose contact with them to realize
i needed to hear that from them...so i took the
iniative when i came back to their lives...and
now we share the words...
Dave...whether your dad can acknowledge you or not...
tell him you love him...not only to make you feel
better...but just in case in there somewhere he
can hear you....let him know...let him hear it...
Fi...all i can do is *HUG* you tight...and tell you
my thoughts and prayers are with you and your
family...
i consider you both my friend even though we dont
know each other very well...and i [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img] ya..
in good times and bad...
Wow Fi I'm so sorry to hear about your dad -hugs ya tight- Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers in this very difficult time.
Dave I'm so sorry to hear about your father. I think that no matter what your father knows deep down the love you have for him, but I believe it will do wonders for you both for you to tell him you love him. Just my opinion.... [img]smile.gif[/img]
[img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img]
Whatever you have to say, say it to them now. If you don't, you'll learn that talking to a gravestone is just that.
-hugs my paigey poo real tight-
i love ya girl [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img]
My heart goes out to all of you who are going through tough times right now. Most of us have been through it at least once and we all know how much it sucks and how hard it is. Just know that your friends here are right there beside you for the entire journey.... [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img]
Chele I'll be waiting for your thread.... [img]graemlins/kiss.gif[/img]
*says a prayer for everyone* [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img]
paiges is your brother ok? not being too familiar with the od term..i feel stupid for asking but honest..is he ok now? *hugs you*
I spoke to Dave this afternoon and his father has gone down hill very fast. He isnt expected to make it thru the night. please keep him in your thoughts guys...ask for a peaceful parting and strength for our Dave. His words always make us feel better. I just wish we had some words help him thru this too.
I spoke to Fiona this afternoon as well. She sounded so very tired. She has told me her father passed along peacefully and i thank a higher power for that. The poor man has been in extreme pain and suffering for quite some time. I dont know if im supposed to be posting such personal things but i feel i need to. Fi needs our thoughts too as she is going to have to say some words at her fathers service. Maybe with all of us thinking good thoughts for her and for dave it will help them in some small way.
Fi and dave you both are in my thoughts tonite and im sending all my love to you both. [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img]
Chele.....you are right......Dave has helped us
so many times with his words...and Fi with her
beautiful smile...just makes you smile right with
her....
Fi and Dave...this is for you...i did not write
it...but it says a lot...just to let you know
we are all here for you....
Take our hands my friends,
We wish to help you along.
Just knowing there are many of us
Can help to make you strong.
I know life seems unfair
and sometimes get you down,
But know that we are here for you
We will always be around.
Set a day aside
and together we will walk
Down all your troubled pathways,
For it helps sometimes to talk.
If you should need some time
To do this on your own,
Then we will be here waiting
Since you wish to be alone.
I guess I want to say
That we hold your friendship dear.
And if you ever need us,
Just reach out, cause we are here.
Dear DAve,
It's been a sorta kinda lonely weekend for me in soo many ways and yet im not alone, far from it. I love this quote ... I thrive on it. You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. -- Wayne Dyer I connected and reached out to several friends neear and far, yet my heart is heavy.
Heavy for all Fi is going through. SHes so far from all of us. That's the hard part of this machine. We create bonds with amazing people yet when you need their arms around you, they are miles and miles away. So, I hope she's taking comfort in the love and outstretched arms of her family and knows in her heart all the love and support that is waiting right here... and not waiting but eminating from people all over for her. [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img]
For you sir. My heart is with you. Such a painful time. I've been there. I'm on a slow journey there again. May you, oh wisdomfilled one, know too, that many, many good thoughts are being channeled your way.
It's the long, alone road I call it. One we all must walk alone no matter how much support we are given. Grief is 100 percent unique to each of us.
"Just do what must be done. This may not be happiness, but it is greatness."
George Bernard Shaw
Lots and lots of loving thoughts to both of you...please know that... [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img]
my lil Demon...that poem goes to you too..to
everyone here...you all are my friends...
so many times i have wished i could just reach
out and hug you...and i do envy Chele...cause she
has had that opportunity...you are a very special
person...and deserve all the hugs you do get... [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img]
And i did give her that hug..well..hugs.. [img]wink.gif[/img]
Fi mailed me a few times the past few days and she seems to be handling things very well. Today is the day she and her sister will be going to say their final goodbyes then the service on Wed. I'd like for everyone to come here sometime between now and Wed evening and post on the thred im going to make for her. Its all we can do from here but to me its very important. You all come togather so well for our family here at HB. i think its just amazing!
Ive not heard from Dave yet so im hoping he is just dealing with things and when he has time he will let us know whats happening. From the last i did hear his father was removed from any machines and its now his choice when he leaves Dave. its hard to wait ive been there too..
Thanks so much for the updates chele -smiles-
Fi even though you can't read this now please know that all our love and support is with you and your family, and you and yours as well Dave. [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/rose.gif[/img]
There is a sacredness in tears.
They are not the mark of weakness,
but of power.
They speak more eloquently
than 10,000 tongues.
They are the messengers
of overwhelming grief,
of deep contrition,
and of unspeakable love.
- Washington Irving
my dad expired at 12:12pm today 3-21.
dave
Dave I'm so sorry for your loss [img]graemlins/broken_heart.gif[/img]
Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.
<font color="#683355" size="1">[ March 21, 2005 02:13 PM: Message edited by: MandaB ]</font>
Im so sorry to hear that dave..You were a good son and im sure he is very proud of the care youve taken of him..*hugs* [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img]
Dave i'm sorry about your loss...
thank you everyone for your words and thoughts...amy, kassy, mrs g, manda, paige
and especially chele, for all your messages and support
dave, we've spoken....you know how i feel....
wednesday it might be for us both....something else shared
we've just chosen the music to be played at the end of the service....benedictus by karl jenkins...
i saw my dad today, it was hard....but i had to go to say goodbye....
thank you so much everyone for the love and friendship you have shown and continue to show to me and dave
Dave.......~hugs~
I am somewhat at a loss as to what to say.
I know I don't know you well, but I have felt yer sadness, thru yer posts here re: yer dad.
I am so sorry for your loss....but know one thing...YOU MATTERED TO HIM.....of this, i feel to be true.
Fiona, keep yer chin up.....Be brave, be strong.
You are in all our thoughts, don't forget it.
WE are with you and dave in spirit.
Both of you, i am truly sorry for yer loss.....
[img]graemlins/broken_heart.gif[/img]
the time between now and never is over in the blink of an eye.. words will always be left unsaid.. thoughts never expressed... we spend our whole lives with woulda's, coulda's and shoulda's. we do the best we can to say and do the things that matter, but theres never enough time for them all. down deep the people who really matter to us already know it. they know the places they hold in our hearts. speaking of hearts, mine goes out to you all. [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img]
dave... [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img]
[img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img]
Dave....*just hugs you*
Sorry to here about your Pop's Dave and Fi. Make sure you give yourselves some time to grieve in your own way, not in the way of others. Parental loss is harder if you don't acknowledge it in your own way.
kinda amazing- our dads will be laid to rest within hours of each other...
with mine- the "i love you's" were taken care of-he died in my arms.............
many thanks for y'all's thoughts and prayers.
now- if ya love someone
tell em.
To Pop: 1 June 1916-21 March 2005 [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img]
a grateful dave
Dave..thats the best news to me..i know its sad news but the fact you held him is just so comforting to me..I cant imagine how hard it was for you to do but i can picture you doing it and the smile your dad was smiling even if it wasnt seen..there is no greater comfort than a loved ones arms... [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img]
as soon as i got home from my dad's service and reception, i called dave...he was at that moment leaving the house to go to his dad's service
it's strange but instead of the sadness i thought i would feel, i have a sense of relief and lightness, that the suffering and pain are over
wherever my dad now is, his pain is over, and that's all that is important
chele, i did manage to speak...i reached very deep and found the strength and i am glad that i did....
i'll let you know what i said via email
my thoughts are now with dave over the next few hours
with love and thanks and appreciation for everyone's words of comfort and support over the past few days
I knew you would do it! and i also know your dad was proud that you did. Im glad i got to see you on messanger it made me feel better to actually speak with you..i can understand the sense of relief and you know..peace is what is suppose to follow for a little while..i wish you that.. [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img]
dear dave...i know its a hard day for you...*thinking strong good thoughts* [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img]