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I know that this will bore most of you but the Ashes are on . As an absent Brit I need to be kept up to date. Over to you.
(Sorry yanks) Johnny, Buttz, Skyline?
By the way... Good fucking shot in that terrorist's head today. One for fifty two.
All out for fifty three.
Aussies leading by 314 runs with 3wkts left in 2nd innings
Man in tube station shot because he was wearing a big jacket, they better not follow me round fucking Tesco's tomorrow
Save Malcs Burger stand
I was supposed to w**k hard today but it just didn't happen, couldn't really apply myself what with the cricket! [img]frown.gif[/img]
This entire thread is asinine of course.
D.
Don't the Yanks play Cricket either?
Just netball and rounders..
England need 369 to win. Not though I give a shit. But the fuckin aussie's do yer head in if they win. When we won the Rugby world cup,what they were gonna do to us the day before, the day after when they lost, it was like it never happened. I had to make a point of mentioning it and flying the St George cross in the front garden. HeHe.
For the benefit of the Yanks......CRICKET EXPLAINED.....You have two sides, one out in the field, and one in .
Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out .
When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in out .
Sometimes you get men still in and not out .
When both sides have been in and out including the not outs , THAT'S THE END OF THE GAME !
... and the game can go for 5 full days without having result at the end.
Imagine having a baseball game that went for 5 days and then it was a draw.... welcome to test match cricket!
We lost, nobody explained the massive prize for winning this series of games, er its the ashes of two pieces of burnt wood, I can see cricket clubs springing up all across America after reading this
HOWZAT
It is rather odd I agree, but then next to the fact that two fearsome heavyweight boxers fight for a purse.....
Or when playing bridge a round of cards is called a rubber... [img]eek.gif[/img]
Not a card man myself, but isn't their a game called Pokeher.
That's just not cricket old boy! [img]wink.gif[/img]
Lmao, I feel a sports thread coming on.
Silly Mid Off
<font size="4" face="Arial">Makes me think of Buttz avatar for some reason... [img]rolleyes.gif[/img]Quote:
Originally posted by Bedlam:
Silly Mid Off
Definitely using a tomatoe as a nose.
Am I cross threading here.
Tennis
A touch of cross-thread-pollenation but I wouldn't worry [img]wink.gif[/img]
WTF is it with Tennis? 15,30,40?? Can't they count or something? Or do they think they are better with a higher score? [img]tongue.gif[/img]
I do remember playing football at school. Many hours are spent in professional football clubs planning strategies but it usually comes down to the three more familiar formations of 4-4-2, 4-3-3 and 4-5-1. Football at school however stuck rigidly to the effective schoolyard formation of 0-0-10. 20 kids running manically after a football! [img]biggrin.gif[/img] [img]wink.gif[/img]
Those were the days of goal-hangers and rush-keepers! No one understood offside (like they do now! passive/active/interfering with play???)
Oh my god Football over here is rugby, soccer is football, aussie rules (AFL) is a combination of both. I went mental watching the kids first game here a few years back, there was a foul outside the box and the ref said penalty, I was doing my nut, apparently they call free kicks,penalties. I felt a bit of a twat. Stoppers are central defenders, I thought they were goalies so I went in to twatland once again. I play on friday nights, I play striker to avoid any confusion.
Having seen AFL on the TV I conclude that it is actually Aussie-No-Rules Football! [img]graemlins/thumbs_up.gif[/img]
Incidentally - is it true that foreplay down-under is typically 5 seconds long and consists of something like "Brace yerself Sheila!" [img]wink.gif[/img]
Amusing cricket game:
http://www.channel4.com/entertainmen...ew.jsp?id=1127
Love that cricket game - great find
<font size="4" face="Arial">[img]graemlins/thumbs_up.gif[/img] We shall drive them into the sea! LOL!Quote:
Originally posted by Hairglamfan:
Amusing cricket game:
http://www.channel4.com/entertainmen...ew.jsp?id=1127
Q. What does Geraint Jones and Michael Jackson have in common? A.
They both wear gloves for no apparent reason
Q. What is the height of optimism?
A. An English batsman applying sunscreen.
Q. What does Ashley Giles put in his hands to make sure the next ball
almost always takes a wicket? A. A bat.
Q. What would Glen McGrath be if he was an Englishman?
A. An allrounder.
Q. What advantage do Kevin Pieterson, Andrew Strauss and Geraint
Jones have over the rest of their team-mates?
A. At least they can say they're not really English.
Q. What is the English version of a hat-trick?
A. Three runs in three balls.
Q. What do you call an Englishman with 100 runs against his name? A.
A bowler.
Q. What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by English
batsmen? A. The walk back to the pavilion.
Q. Who has the easiest job in the English squad?
A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.
Q. Why is Andrew Flintoff the unluckiest English player?
A. Because he was born in England.
Q. What does "Ashes" stand for?
A. Another Sad Horrific English Series.
Q. What's the English version of LBW?
A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped.
Q. Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone in the English
team?
A. The person who ironed the cricket whites.
Although I ought to feel offended....
FPMSL [img]biggrin.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/thumbs_up.gif[/img]
Don't encourage em, its bad enough being a Pom as it is, jesus if they beat us at tiddlywinks you never hear the end of it.
Pom? shouldn't that be on the fruit thread? [img]wink.gif[/img]
Sorry I am becoming a serial cross threader.
Can't believe the swimming yesterday - Grant Hackett breaking the 800m world record by nearly a whole second!! At the 600m mark he was something like 6 seconds up on Ian Thorpes world record!!
It is a bleak outlook for British swimming, we just can't compete against the likes of Thorpe, Hackett and Phelps [img]frown.gif[/img]